John Kenny explains how denying loss—whether a person, pet, or part of yourself—causes unprocessed pain to spiral into anger, anxiety, and panic attacks. The way out is accepting the loss and processing the grief instead of avoiding it.
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Hello everyone, and welcome to this video today. I'm John Kenny, and today I want to talk to you about what I've called the escalation of loss. Now, we all experience loss throughout our lives, and it depends on what kind of things that we lose and the importance of those things. For example, it could be the loss of a loved one or an animal, it could It could be the loss of your childhood, for instance. You could have had difficult childhood relationships, and that could have led you to lose a sense of yourself. Whatever it is that we lose causes us a certain amount of pain. So, when we experience loss and we feel that pain, we don't actually really want to have to feel that pain. We have a tendency then to deny that pain. And then what happens when we deny that pain is that we try to avoid everything That goes with that. Now, if we avoid our pain, and we're in denial with our pain, then that will then manifest as something else, because that pain and that emotion needs to go somewhere. So, to mask it, we may become angry, we may just go into a low mood, because we're trying to subdue all of those feelings, so we decide we don't really want to feel anything at all. Or we may even become anxious, because we're trying to deny ourselves, because we're in avoidance. We can then start to worry and become anxious, because our emotions need to go somewhere. And as this continues, we then may start to struggle. We've got permanent anger issues. We may struggle with depression. Or, we may Start to have anxiety all of the time, maybe escalating into panic attacks. So you can see from this one thing in the middle how all of this has escalated into much more difficult and unmanageable things. So what can we do? Well, instead of going into denial, we need to go into a place of acceptance. Acceptance? And process. So, if we can accept our loss, and then we can process our emotions around it, it doesn't have to escalate and get bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and take us on a path that we don't really want to go on. If you'd like some more information about this, then please leave your email in the contact box provided. If you would like to consider signing up for one of our complimentary Live the Life You Choose consultations, or the thought of coming on to our People Programme, we can coach you through lots of different things including how you manage your loss, then again please leave your details in the contact box. Thank you for watching today, take care of yourselves, and I'll speak to you soon.
