The Window of Comfort

Yes, I've called it the window of comfort because it's like when you're wearing blinkers. So if you've learned to be safe in this space, you've got a very narrow window of comfort, and anything that happens outside of that Throws you. So you then, you feel unsafe, you feel uncomfortable, and we then have ways of trying to get that back. So I don't know if you've ever noticed that some people can get really angry, and then as soon as they get what they want or what they actually need, they're as calm as anything. Because what they've done is they've lost their temper or they've got angry, whatever they've done is to bring you into, back into their window of comfort. And then they're okay. So what I work with, with my clients, is to make your window of comfort as wide as possible, because then you know you can deal with anything. But if you've got a wide window of comfort, you don't need to try and make yourself feel safe all the time. We can lose the things that take us into destructive relationships. We can stop destroying relationships ourselves because our comfort window is so wide that Actually, we can look and go, is that really a problem? Do I need to do anything about that? Am I okay? And then, you know, you're in a really good space. And the more you can open up your window, the more comfortable you're going to be in so many more situations.