10 Questions to Help You Know If Your Manager or Leader Is Someone To Support

Sometimes or often, people grapple with decisions. They are struggling with a myriad of decisions in their career in order to move themselves forward. One of them is, is this leader or manager someone I should be following? Is this an individual that is going to help me thrive and am I going to learn under this individual? We need our leaders to be inspiring and to be those kinds of individuals who are going to help us thrive. So here are 10 questions to ask yourself honestly that will help you decide. Is this leader or manager someone you should follow? Number one does this leader or manager behave, communicate and operate in a way that I respect, admire and want to emulate? You want to look at someone and assess not only the words that they're saying, but how, the way in which they are saying them, the way they are behaving and communicating. And if you do not respect it, you're going to find yourself conflicting with what they want you to do and how they're going about sharing their vision of the organization. Question 2 Does this leader share my core values and inspire me to be the best, highest version of myself possible, or do I find that their actions and suggestions make me behave and speak like a lower, more insecure version of myself? Your values are essential in moving you forward in a way that's going to be rewarding and successful. If your leader and manager does not align with your values, you're going to find yourself struggling. Question number three does this leader know how to build beneficial, supportive relationships with others that help create sustainable growth and achieve critical allyship that is so necessary for my organization and entity to thrive? The relationships you form are essential, essential to your success. They can make or break how you get things done and if you can reach your goals. So watch how this leader goes about either building relationships or tearing them down. Question number four does this leader believe in the innate equality, deservedness and worth of all people he or she leads, and do they support that core value in their words, actions and deeds? So ask yourself does this leader support the idea of equality? And if not, is that a conflict with your own values? Because truthfully speaking, if they don't support equality, this organization cannot thrive today. Question number 5 Can this leader take critique and challenge well and take responsibility and accountability for his or her actions instead of blaming others? Do they show remorse when they go wrong and apologize when an apology or a change of course or attitude is called for? It's a damaging situation to be in. We all need to take accountability and responsibility, but particularly the leaders of your organization. Question number can this leader respect and like people who don't agree with their actions and opinions. You know, I've worked a lot with narcissism in the world and narcissism in leadership. What you don't want is a leader who only respects, uplifts and elevates and likes people that agree with them. That's a very dangerous place to be as well. Question number seven does this leader show maturity, emotional intelligence and regulation, temperance, patience, empathy, balance and other key attributes that make a truly great leader? If you are not able to be emotionally mature and intelligent in the way you behave, success is going to be limited. Question number eight in reviewing the communications from this leader over the past six months, including social media messages, public and private statements, emails, memos and other written and verbal forms of communication, do the communications show more positivity than negativity? In other words, what percentage of these messages contain uplifting, positive words and sentiments that move people forward, and what percentage tear people down, blame or attack? If there is a ratio of more than three to one of uplifting and positive language and messages, that means there will be more success in relating to people, reaching them and uplifting them, and inspiring a shared vision. If, on the other hand, the ratio is the opposite, more negative to positive, this culture is not going to thrive. Question number nine when this leader takes action, does the action support growth, safety and success of the vast majority of people under him or her or just those groups he or she is personally attached and connected to and only those who support him or her? What you want to see is a leader that supports diversity, supports inclusion, supports challenge, because it's only diversity in thought and diversity in questioning and challenging that will help an organization thrive. Question number 10 finally, are you able to say, I love how this leader behaves and communicates because he or she builds bridges across major divides and differences and reduces the potential harm, conflict, anger and lack of acceptance among the people he or she leads? I think all we have to do is look at headlines today and see how leaders behave. Are they bridging differences or making us separate even more? If your leader isn't doing this, the culture is going to become fraught with conflict instead of becoming more cohesive as we move forward.