302: Authoring Your Money Story - It's More Intuitive Than You Realize

So this comes from the Talmud, the Jewish text. It is a combination of two different sages wisdom put together and it says, do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now, love, mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it. And yeah, it gives me tears too. Hello everyone, this is Kathy Caprino and welcome to my podcast, Finding Brave. I've created the show for everyone who longs to create something bold and brave in their life, to rise up, speak up and stand up for who they are and to reach their highest and biggest visions. Each week I'll be speaking with inspiring guests from all walks of business, leadership, entertainment, the creative arts and the entrepreneurial world. And they'll be sharing their intimate stories of Finding Brave and offer their best strategies for building your most rewarding, joyful and meaningful life, business and career. Hey everyone. Kathy here. I am thrilled to announce that my eight week live course, the Most Powerful you is now open for early enrollment. We kick off the course on February 27th and if you register by February 21st, you'll save $300 on the full price and receive nine incredible bonuses, including free access to my brand new digital career coaching tool, Kathy Cabrino, AI this transformational course is the perfect companion to my book, the Most Powerful you. Seven Bravery Boosting Paths to Career Bliss and over eight weeks together, I'll personally guide you through steps to boost your confidence, step into your leadership power, build effective networks and allies, speak up for what you want and get it. Share your talents in compelling ways and make the career changes and pivots you been dreaming of. By closing the seven damaging power and confidence gaps that we focus on, you'll transform how you see yourself, how others see you, and what's possible for your career and your life. Spots are limited, so don't wait. Head to mostpowerfulyou.com to claim your 300 early bird savings and nine bonuses before February 21st. I can't wait to support your growth and help you create the career and the life you truly deserve. Let's do this together. I'll see you in the course. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Finding Brave. Kathy here. Look, I'm speechless already. For the guest we have today, George Gracher. George has been on the show before and I I'm going to link to it below it. I believe it's two to three years ago, but you have big news. You have another beautiful little person in your family. And two gorgeous boys. And you're doing such amazing work, George, and you're going to tell us exactly kind of your focus, but it is different from what we hear from other people who are in financial advising as you are. And we are talking about how about this authoring your money story? Hmm. It's more intuitive than you understand. So people, you know, I have people on this show that I need to learn from and, and I cannot wait because I know you have messages, George, that will speak to all of our hearts. So without further ado, let me introduce George. Let me read a little bit of his amazing bio. But it could go on and on because George is doing incredible things. Thank you for being here. From Phoenix.

So good to see you.

So good to see you. George Grombacher has worked in personal finance for, oh no, not over for 24 years and has been named a top 100 financial advisor in the US by Investopedia. That's no small thing. Bravo to you. Five years in a row. He's working hard to encourage, empower and entertain others. That's hard to do when you're talking about money and everyone's scared to death. Anyway, finish the bio, Kathy. Entertain others with critical and compassion compelling information to help them create more financial success and live as they wish to. George is the president of Financial Consulting Professionals. Wow. The founder and chief community officer of Money Alignment Academy. The host of the Aligned Money show, which is so good. And you, you cover so many interesting topics. And host of Lifeblood podcast, which of course I had the great pleasure of joining a while ago. So thank you again for taking time. George, I'm so thrilled. Let's. I'm going to have you just lead us where we need to go. But can you. You were talking and then I cut you off and said, wait a minute, we need to capture this on the podcast. Can you start over about your 401k work and why you do that. And let's just start with that.

Love it. Thanks for having me back. It's great to see you. We were talking about how I'm always trying to figure out how to talk about the thing in a different way. I manage 401k plans for companies, then I do that because it gives me the opportunity to message and work with working class folks like myself that wouldn't normally have the opportunity to work with a financial advisor. I think that only about 20% of Americans work with financial advisors, so that leaves obviously the majority that, that, that don't. And I was on my way to meet with A company, they do short term rental cleaning. So these are the folks that come in and they clean the house. These are people that are working so hard, so many hours, but for the most part they're, they're, they're hand to mouth. And it's hard for people to be saving money, which is common for a lot of people. But I thought, what am I going to talk to them about? Because I don't want to just bum them out, say, well, you need to be saving more money. Like, oh, no kidding. Thanks, buddy.

I'm paying you for this.

Yeah, right, right. You know, and just, I don't want to be boring. I don't want to talk over people's heads. I want to try and be useful and effective and meet people where they are and all that stuff. And so I thought, okay, what about the idea of we all have a money story and we are authoring our own money story. And the first stage is maybe, you know, the first seven years of your life. And then the second stage is from age 7 to wherever you are today. So that's where we're at. And then you get to write the third act of your money story. So regardless of where you are today, it doesn't have to be where you end up in the future. And I thought, okay, this is an inspirational kind of a, kind of a message I can talk about. Here's the fundamental things that you could start doing right now and that's going to get us on that path to get the ending that you really want to your money story. And so that was the seed. And that turned into my most recent book, which is called your money story, how to get the ending that you want. So I'm happy with it, I'm proud of it. It's fun. There's elements of music and pop culture just because tapping into inner artist, which before we, you know, before the world beat it out of us, we loved being creative and having fun. And just because we're talking about finance doesn't mean it can't be fun. So, so that's, that is what I'm working on right now.

I'm dying to know. And you know, I'm going to fire at you 100 questions, but I would love to know how you first decided you wanted to work in the financial world. Was it from early on you were a kid and you were counting your quarters in your piggy bank? I doubt it.

No, I, you know, I'm, I'm more like I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew Up. I didn't have a lot of role models in the professional world and so I really didn't know what most professions really did. I didn't even know what financial services were. I was. I was a very artistic kind of a kid. I was very athletic and graduated college and I didn't have a job. And I said, somebody said, come talk to me about XYZ company. It was in financial services. I said, why not? So I just happened into it.

You mean it just fell and were you. Oh man. I got to understand this. I didn't know that you were artistic on the side. I mean, I can see it in your, Your energy and your spirit. Was there some line of artistry that you love? Music or writing? Writing. Look at that. Did you worry when you got out of school that you didn't know what you were going to do?

No. I've always been a. I've always been a self assured person. I have a. Fortunate to have a history of success. So I understand through my athletics and everything that I've ever done, when I set my mind to something, I'm. I have. I've proven to myself time and time again that I can make it happen. So I was not worried about it. I knew I'd figure something out.

Wow, you make it sound very easy, George.

Sounds easy. Does hard.

What sport were you? Or athleticism? What?

I was a tennis player.

No way. I'm a tennis player. I went to state. The states in the, In New York State when I was 18. Nice. Did not. Did not win it. But I didn't know that.

Now I'm a pickleball player, Kathy, same as everybody else.

You know, I have resisted because my. I have a bad knee. I broke it when I was 16. There's no cartilage and the doctor says that pickle's not going to be great for you. You know, all the. But I should embrace it like the rest of the world anyway. That's so cool. All right, here's. Let me start on a path here. And I'm. I'm really asking you questions I need to understand. So I'm guessing that people might say, you know, I've saved 20,000, but my dream is half a million. So embedded in that, what I want to ask you is. I mean, I can sense that you are all about possibility. You're all. You're not about into the practical box. Like. Well, I mean you look at the chart and you save this much. I'm guessing. I don't mean to put that down. I know other Advisors do that. But when you have someone who has limited means or the situation is limited, but they have a big dream. Can I hear how you address that?

Fundamentally, I think that what all this comes down to is, is understanding what is most important to me and what matters to me, and then making sure that I am allocating my most valuable resources aligned with what is most important. So some people say this is what matters to me. But then when you try and find the evidence for that, there's not a lot of it.

Can you give an example, George?

You say that. Let's just say that you want to be healthy. Like, oh, being healthy is really important to me. Well, is there evidence to back that up? Do you exercise? Do you have a healthy diet? Do you get enough sleep? Are you all of these kinds of things? And then you look at how I'm spending my time and it's not reflective of somebody who wants to be healthy. You look at how you're spending your money and it's not reflective of somebody who wants to become financially successful. You say that you want to learn and be a well read person, but where's the evidence of that? So it's one thing, and this isn't easy. Say, okay, financial security is the most important thing to me and my family. Very well, excellent. This is what matters. Well, do I know what I have to do in service of that thing? And for me, that's time, attention, energy and money. So how am I allocating those things? And I'm not advocating for some infinity war where you have to be perfect with every decision you make. But I do think we need to get to about 80% of the decisions we make that are aligned to what is most important to us. And I hate to be reductive, but I think in a lot of ways it kind of comes down to that. So getting crystal clear, here's the life that I want, these are the things that matter. And, and now am I actually doing the things that it's going to take to get those things that I want and to do those things that really matter?

All right, so let. Do you mind getting brass tacks here? So they say they want to save, they'd like to save 10,000 a year. What are the five things you're looking at that would demonstrate to you that they are committed to that? Not just pie in the skying it?

Yeah. Well, first and foremost, it's cash flow. Is there money coming in? Do I, do I have extra money? Yeah, and most people don't. Most people are living paycheck to paycheck, which means the income coming in, the expenses, that, that those are either zero or I'm actually going negative.

So what do you do for them for that? What do you suggest when they.

Well, it's, it's A, I can make more money or B, I can live on less money or some combination of those two. I don't have a magic wand. So there's plenty of people out there that are working two or three jobs and still can't get ahead. So the answer is not earn more. Or it could be let's somehow find a way to become more valuable in the eyes of an employer that would allow you to earn more money. But let's go the other way and say, you know what? I'm tapped out. I can't earn anymore, and I don't have extra time to go to school or get some kind of a certification. So then the answer is I've got to live on less. I've got to either reduce my overhead, reduce expenses, some form or fashion so I have money to be able to save if it's a function of I'm just spending too much. And therefore, I think that that's an easier problem to solve. So than it is. Okay, let's really examine how it is we're spending what we're spending our money on. And is it anywhere? Is it anywhere that is close to be aligned? I'm not advocating for just stopping spending money just for the sake of it, but if you're telling me that the most important thing to you is to save $10,000 a year, well, let's talk more about that and figure out how we can reallocate some of the funds away from what you're currently doing to that savings, to that investing.

I'm giggling because it couldn't be more straightforward and it couldn't be more simple, yet millions and millions of people can't do it. George. So I'm guessing, and you have a very kind of healing spirit. I'm guessing there's some healing involved. There's some shame involved. There's some. There are blocks to this, I'm guessing because it's incredibly simple sounding. What are the blocks again?

Sounds easy. Does hard.

Yeah. What do you see are the biggest blocks? They're ready. They want to do it. They understand how to do it. They. We. But. But struggle. What, what, what do you do to help them understand why it's so difficult for them?

And, and we is. Was. Is me. I struggled with money all through my 20s, for sure. So I'M familiar with all this stuff, living paycheck to paycheck.

Not good that you did it, but good that you lived it. And aren't you speaking to the.

All that. So, yeah, there certainly could be any number of things. We're all living under some systems and assumptions. The places that I grew up, the experiences I had as a kid, where I went to high school, where I went to college, what my friend group does now, what, what, how, how the people that I work with dress, how they spend their money, the things that they do, this is all influencing me. And we've heard the phrase keeping up with the Joneses. I am carried along by the currents of life. My, My wife wants to do certain things and I want to do other things. And I've got kids. I'm. I've got. I'm servant to many different masters, so. And then I've got maybe limiting beliefs or really negative thoughts about money. Invariably, when I get up in front of a room, somebody will say to me, I'm just not good at money. Well, fair. Currently, you might not be, but if you really believe that, you are going to have a really hard time becoming financially successful. So there's a ton of internal work that we need to do to try to uncover any limiting or negative beliefs you have about money. And we could certainly spend a ton of time talking about that because it's of value. So that's the internal work. But then looking around and say, okay, where am I falling victim to? Kind of a herd mentality or just going along to get along? And, and is any of this really getting me closer to what it is that I want? Does any of this actually matter to me? And I, I think that nine times out of ten, Kathy, the answer is no. We're just doing this because it's the way we've always done things, or my dad did it this way, or I'm expected to do this where I vacation, where I go to dinner, the car I drive, the clothes I wear, all this stuff, probably something acting upon me, and maybe I'm not thinking about it, I'm not aware of it. So it's, it sounds super easy, but this is as hard as it gets.

So, you know, I'm a former therapist, former corporate vp, and now coaching and career coaching. And I, I have to say, George, you know, when you do something and you get good results, it's. How do I want to put this? Let me rephrase. I think that so many, for instance, career coaches don't go deep enough to help People uncover exactly what is holding them back. These kinds of discussions that you're saying, because if we don't look at the internal processes, the assumptions, the fears, the shame, the. The unconscious patterns, what can change? Nothing. So when you see a recurring. And maybe we can use one as an example, if you don't mind, let's take the one that you see most of all. And you know, you're working with a certain population, and I'm guessing those things, those themes are similar, but among all human beings. I want to look good to my kids. I want my family to think I'm doing well. I mean, it's just ratcheted up to, you know, a lot of zeros after numbers for very, very wealthy people. Tell me if I'm wrong, but how do you. When you recognize. Oh, their biggest challenge is they were taught or they came from a very poor background and they were taught, you, you're not going to break out of this. You really don't know enough. It's not going to happen. How do you personally help them shift that? I didn't prep you for these, so.

No, not at all. You're getting down to the heart of it. We all have an operating system, just like our phones do. And our operating system came to us when we were about 0 to 7. So it's all the experiences I had when I was a kid. And I grew up in a house that was a single mom. My mom was a schoolteacher. Money was scarce and it was a source of stress because there was never enough of it to go around. And I talk about this quite a bit. My mom would pay bills once a month. That meant she would literally spread all of our bills out around our dining room table on a Sunday. My brother and I knew, stay away from her because she's super stressed. It's not going to be good. And month after month, year after year, it was taught me, avoid money, avoid money. So that was my thing is I just avoided looking at it. I never checked my. I never balanced my checkbook. I never. That was before online banking. I never kept a budget. I never. I waited till last minute to pay my bills. So it was. It was like a scarcity thing and an avoidance thing. And then I figured it out because I learned about limiting beliefs. Daniel Kahneman. Danny Kahneman. He was a economist. He's a psychologist that won the Nobel Prize in Economics. He wrote Thinking Fast and Slow. He figured out that 90% of the decisions we make around money are based on emotion. So we're emotional creatures. Now the first time I heard that, I'm like, no way that 90% of the decisions I make around money are emotional. Then I thought of it. I'm like, of course they are. Emotions drive all my decision making. Why did, why is my hair long? Why do I have a beard? Because I like it. Because I like the way that it makes me feel. Why do I do all the things that I do? Because of the way it makes me feel. And I'm not trying to get people to stop feeling. What I am trying to do is get people to be aware of, of a trigger that they have that causes a feeling and then to not take a negative, to instead take a positive or beneficial action based on those feelings. So there's a series of prompts that you can take people through. And he also talks about fast and slow. That's his whole thing, thinking fast, thinking slow. The fast part of our brain is the knee jerk response, the emotional response we get from a stimulus. The slow part of our brain is, instead of firing that email off, I'm going to sleep on it. And then the next day I'm like, I'm probably not going to send that email because it's not really the response I want. When we're going through these prompts, I want people to go as fast as they can because that's going to get evidence. So money is. In my family, money caused. I'd have more money if I think money is. People think money is. So there's all these prompts and you can answer them really any way. Money is the root of all evil. People with money are greedy, awful. In my family, money caused fights, divorce. So you're going to get evidence of what your beliefs and thinking is around money just by answering a series of prompts. And then you can start digging in and say, okay, that's interesting. I can see my patterning. And then you trace it back to when you were a kid and try to play Sherlock Holmes and figure out, why is it that I think the way that I think around money. And again, I could intellectually tell you, oh, I understand, money is this, but if you really think that it's this, well, your behavior is going to, it's going to be borne out by how you are actually interacting with your finances.

And. And do you find that. I'm just finding this fascinating because, you know, I do this work with career people. How do they really feel about the work they're in and the people and how they're treated? And so I love this idea, goes, let me hear the Fast answer. Shoot it out like this. And. And let me just understand this. When he's talking about the two parts of the brain, are we talking about the amygdala, which is that reptilian brain, and then we're talking about the cerebral cortex, which mitigates that? Is that what he's talking about? That probably. I'll read it and let everyone know. All right, here's my question. What I find is there, and you're really making me think about this for kind of the first time when I'm working with people. There are some beliefs that when they have that recognition, they're able to see it, feel it, and in some degree they can shift it. But there are other cases where it will not be that way. You need energy, healing sometimes. I often say sometimes no amount of talking in therapy or coaching is going to release a trauma. It's in your cells. And I Actually, George, I don't mean to throw this on you, but I've seen past lives and I believe that this is also genetically passed on. I really do.

Agreed.

Do you think so too? Because there are times where I'm doing your exercise, but I don't know where this came from. And it doesn't even seem to match what I grew up with. You've. You've seen that too, for sure.

For sure.

So pushing this point so that people can get the kind of help they need when they go, I'm doing this, George, but I still don't see it. I don't see the antecedent. I don't see the how do I release this? And if they're stuck with that, what do you do for them with them? Suggest to them, I think, that it.

Is a combination of inherited traits, lived experience. Our brains have neuroplasticity, and that just means that we connect in a certain way. And if I do the same thing over and over again for 30 years, it's going to be pretty well drilled into my brain. It's kind of like you can't teach an old dog new tricks kind of a program. But the good news is you can overwrite those limiting beliefs. You can rewire your brain. It not easy. It's. It's going to require quite a bit. But once you become aware of these things and you make the decision, you know, that scarcity thing, that avoidance, that was the old me. The new me is going to do it this way. I'm now going to start thinking about money as a tool for getting the life that I want. So old me said, I'm not good at money. It's scarce. I'm never going to have it. I'm never going to be able to hold onto it. The new me says, yep, I get it. I recognize those feelings, but not anymore. Now I'm going to use money as a tool. I've done the work. I understand how my 401k plan works. I do a budget, and I'm going to kind of white knuckle it and catch and pay attention to be mindful of. When I loop back to those old ways and those old thoughts, I'm going to stop it. I'm going to try and get my brain to start thinking the way that I want it to. That could take a long time. But what else are we going to do? I'm going to wallow in and keep having a crappy financial life and keep having all the lousy stuff that goes along with that, or I'm going to try to lean right into it and take it right on the chin over and over again until I can get the right habits, the right processes down. And over time, I think that we will start moving over to the way that we want to be thinking and feeling about money.

George, you know, I don't know if this is helpful to people who have small businesses, but I still do my expenses and my revenue in Excel. And I, you know, I used to not. I used to be just like you. I don't want to look now. I pretty much know every penny that's coming in and every penny that's going out. But what's interesting is, tell me if you see this, if, if you are used to certain things sometimes, let me be clear. I have a number of, excuse me, expenses that maybe eight years ago started, like a certain vendor or a certain program or a certain app, and there it is. It's showing up every time. And if it pops up more expensive than the month before, I'm on it. I figure it out, I call them and go, what's going on here? But sometimes I don't even stop to force myself to say, do you actually need that now? Is that what you find a lot of people do to free up some money that. Wait a minute. I loved it. I love that Netflix app or whatever it is, or it can be a very expensive thing. I loved it. There was a need for it. There was a use for it. But wait a minute. The person I am now, do I really need this thing? Is that one of the processes of many people go through.

Feel like you nailed it. Most people have no idea how much they earn. They have no idea how much they spend. They have no idea the value of their assets. They don't know how much debt they have. So knowing that tracking it is, is. Is a wonderful first step. And then. Yeah. Are these things still serving me? Are. Is this aligned and bringing me closer to the life that I want or bringing me further away? And again, it's okay to have frivolous nonsense and to do stupid stuff. You just, you know, got to minimize that to maybe 80% and do. Or 20% and do 80% of it. Right. I mean, fundamentally, if you want things to change, things have to change. And sacrifice slash investment is oftentimes required. People don't like to think about sacrifices. Well, to think about making an investment, you know, and that just means we need to change. We follow particular habits and patterns as human beings. We do a lot of this stuff the same way every time we do it. And I think a lot of the time it's just. It's taking us further away from what we want instead of bringing us closer.

All right, one more tough question. You say a lot. What is the life that you want? When I talk to people, therein lies the problem that the life they want might be I go part time in my job so I can be with my kids or I tra. I have a job that I can travel the world, but that I'm making a ton of money. That ain't going to happen in this kind of job. That's the life they want. But when they look at their money, what's needed for their money clashes with. With what they think they want. I want a bigger home. I want to have a pool for the kids because they're swimmers. Do you understand what I'm getting at? So when I'm sure you hear this a million times. Yeah, you're telling me what is the life I want? The life I want is that. But. But I'm here because I don't have the money to do that. And I'm. I'm scared that the future will be worse. How do you help them recognize the life they want? That's a bit of a fantasy that, that the money isn't supporting. How do you help them do that?

Yeah, you just tell them that they're dumb. Just kidding. Well, that's stupid. What are you nuts?

You big dummy.

Big dummy. I love. I love this. Lately. The goldilocks too hot, too cold. Just right. We all remember that this porridge was too hot. The bed was too soft. It's too hard Just right. So I think that we can frame that in the context of the life that we want. What is, what is. What is perfect, which is hot? What is the perfect life look like for you? It's a big house, it's traveling, it's a pool for the kids. It's great vacations, it's eating. Whatever I want. It's a Ferrari. Whatever. Great. Think that. Think about that. Go to that place. Think about what it'll take to get there. Think about how you'll feel when you get it. Think about how the people in your life will feel when you get it. Just experience all of it. And then go the opposite. Cold. Everything goes to total crap. Nothing goes right. What is that going to look like? What's that, how's that going to feel? How's that going to impact the lives of your loved ones and your family? How will they feel if everything goes sideways and it doesn't go right at all? And then let's. Let's think about what's just right, which is optimal, which is the best possible situation. Let's focus on that. I want people to go to the place where it's great. I want people to feel and step into that fear and that pain of if it goes totally wrong. And let's talk about finding just right. And I can't. Rome wasn't built in a day. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step kind of a thing. Just because you can't go from where I am today to having everything that I want tomorrow doesn't mean that I can't incrementally be working to get that. I can't drop £100 tomorrow, but I can start dropping £2 a week or whatever it might be. So let's be intentional about this. Let's decide what matters. Let's decide what it's going to take. What do I have to do in service of what matters to get closer to what matters? And then execute, refine, revisit, repeat. Just right.

Look at me. I get. I get teary eyed. And I'm thinking, why am I getting teary eyed? Let me guess. There is such simplicity in what you say. And it's not, you know, Pollyanna, it is very simple. That doesn't mean it's easy. But when I love this, I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about it that way. Yes, this is the dream that you have. Feel it, feel it with every sense you have. Now let's look at it going the worst that it could on your Path. How does that feel? I mean that's what we don't step into because it's right. What makes want to vomit in the toilet. Well, feel that now. Feel the thing in between.

Just right.

Love it. I love it.

So that's pretty cool. I'm super happy with that mechanism or.

That methodology or exercise.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's fun because you could apply it to. It's important to apply it to every part of your life, not just money, not just career. Think about your family, think about your community, your well being, your peace of mind, your personal development, all of it.

You know, I want to give you have a few more minutes, I hope. Right. I want to give a transparent, really honest thing that just happened that I think is in line with what you're talking about. But I want to ask you, I think that when we do this work in our whole life, you know, addressing our whole life, revelations happen that are buried if you don't do this work. So I'm going to be honest here and share, you know, at. At my age 64, I'm not going to be working for another 28 years maybe yet I can't imagine retiring. So of course I want funds too. And if I only look at that, only look at that, I'm going to keep doing aspects of my work that drain me that maybe were right in the beginning, but they're not right now. So I use ChatGPT a lot and I have my own clone, Kathy Caprino AI everybody try it out. You'll get one month free if you use the coupon in the show notes. Having like an advisor like that either. My clone, I use my own clone sometimes to ask questions. My sister's like, you need to use your own clone. Yeah. Because it's synthesizing 2.5 million words I've written. Right. But I'll use chat, GBT and sometimes there's some spiritual people and advisers and energy that I can ask Chat to tell me what would he. He say? What would she say? But one thing that came up yesterday thinking about this whole issue is this is my kind of human way of looking at it. You say that you love what you're doing and you want to keep going, but you feel very drained sometimes. You feel very resentful sometimes. When do you feel that? And then this is, this is something I hope will be helpful in the money story. Tell me, George, if I feel very drained about, let's say, a certain type of client, I'm going to be honest. Well, what could we do to shift out of that work or shift my feeling of it. Right. And what came to me was something that I think without this intense investigation or exploration, it wouldn't have come out that I adore group training and I would love to train more people to do what I do. But I got a little discouraged about it a few years ago that I was really looking for people who could do exact coaching the way I do it. Well, forget that. But today it occurred to me. Wait a minute. You love the therapeutic approach to career coaching. How about find some therapists that are ready to move into the career coaching world, huh? I mean, I have the training all set up and ready to go. Are you following me?

Yeah.

The point is, had I not force myself to tease out all the assumptions that get all baked in like a brick when you do something over and over that you don't see them, you don't see. Now, wait a minute. You don't really like this, so why don't you let go of that? Well, because then I'd lose money. Well, wait a minute. How about doing this? Well, no, that wasn't right. Well, maybe the assumptions that you're making and the rigidity of it are holding you back. Does this. Before I finish the sentence, does this. Do you see this in the work you do?

Definitely.

So I think what we want to start being is more honest with ourselves in a loving way. And so here's the final part. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I see with my own clients and me when I do this work, the serendipitousness that happens, like something falls in my lap that I never. If I were writing down, how do I make more money? It never would have been on the sheet because I never could have even imagined that something like that could land on my. Do you see that with the people you work with? That amazing things do come in there once they do this work. There is a serendipity of life that can. Not that we're going to plan on that. Not that we're going to say, I'm going to make another 50,000 from. But am I making sense? Does anything. Can I hear your thoughts on all this? Blah, blah, blah.

I think it absolutely resonates with you. I am a believer in the universe. I'm a believer in the idea of manifestation. I'm a believer in that we all have some whole true, authentic self and it's just covered up by layers and layers of conditioning and nonsense that the world and our experiences have piled on. And the work is on is unraveling all of that peeling back those layers and getting down to who I really am. That's why it's like. It's like, God, that's really. That's a hard question. Who are you? Like, what is. Just be yourself. I'm like, my goodness, in what context?

Yeah, we have many roles, many facets.

Yeah. You know, when I'm around my college buddies, whatever. So. Yes. And who am I to want to be rich or to want luxury or whatever? Who am I to. So we're taught to be polite and da, da, da, da, da. But I got one crack at this deal. I got one life. I'm 46. Whatever. I've got little kids. Now is the time. If you're 18, now is the time. If you're 100, now is the time to be honest with yourself about what it is that you want. Stop. Stop trying to say that you want something that you don't want. And it's not obvious. That's why we have to do everything that we're talking about and all the exercises and the conversations you have with your clients about their career, not dissimilar to the conversations that I have with my clients about their money. And we need to be honest with ourselves and try to tap into what that really is and what it is that I really want. Hard.

It is hard. And it's multilayered. All right, one more question, then I'm going to let you go. This is therapy. You're going to need to take a nap afterwards. I'm interested in, you know, your heart right now. As I heard it was helping people that perhaps could never have access to a financial advisor, which is so beautiful. And, you know, that's kind of what my clone is trying to do. Democratize access to a great help I'm interested in. I know you've worked with people at other levels of wealth as well. Do you see that the challenges that, let's say, very wealthy people have are pretty much exactly the same, or are there a different kind of pressure? Are there other themes that emerge when you're dealing with that level of affluence just for. In case that someone's listening, who's at that level?

Totally. I mean, it's not. I can't imagine to be easy to be Elon Musk's son or daughter, for that matter. You know, I'm the son or daughter of a billionaire. Expectations, whatever. You know, is anybody ever gonna, you know, appreciate the things that I've done and I've created Michael Jordan's kid. So all these things. Yeah, it's a whole nother set of problems. I'm fortunate that I was born in the United States of America, which is the greatest country it's ever existed, you know, And I'm fortunate that I am the person that I am. I'm extremely grateful. It doesn't mean that, that my life is easy just because I am who I am. I've got my own stuff. It's my experience, it's my life. So if you're a rich person or child of a rich, whatever, we all have, we all have issues. And I'm not interested in any kind of oppression Olympics or anything like that. I appreciate and want to help people get what they want, whatever that is. And your scenario is, is, is your scenario, your story is your story. And I want to help people get the ending that they want to it, regardless of where they're starting from.

I love it. I love it so much. I'm going to throw this out. I think that the thing that holds us back almost more than anything else is shame for being who we are. And if people. I'm looking at you right now, if you do this work, the fast and the slow, fire it out. Who do I want to be? Who am I really? Or who do I. Who am I afraid I am? Oh, that makes me cry. There's shame in there. And shame is so hard to, to look at. Like I remember my dad was a GE guy and he was, you know, he was in the World War II. It was, I was thinking about this. Generations are, they have themes. And my dad and mom's generation was not self actualization, it was safety, it was security. So he had a job, great job, seven patents at GE and he loved it until he didn't love it anymore. And they, you know, Jack Welch said a mean thing to him. But anyway, after his seven patents. The whole point is if you're expecting your parents to understand you, sometimes that's going to be hard when they're from a very different generational theme. Right. So I wanted to explore and be something different. But I tried the corporate life. And the corporate life made me very unhappy. Well, there was shame there. And it took me a long time after leaving corporate life to shed some modicum of shame and not look at it as. I didn't make it in corporate life. No, it's not. I didn't make it. I didn't want to make it in. In what I felt was a very restrictive scenario. The whole point I'm making is I'd also encourage you to do everything George is saying. And also look at where do I feel in my gut, Shame in my stomach, in my neck, in my shoulders, because I think there's something there that is tied to money. Any final thoughts on that, George?

I agree with that wholeheartedly. And, you know, I agree wholeheartedly. And everything we've been talking about, doing this, thinking these thoughts, doing this work is going to get you closer to overcoming those things, overcoming those feelings, because I do believe that we should work to overcome shame that we are carrying around with us. Many of us have wounding, and that shows up as shame. There's just so many things. The human experience is such a messy one, and it's so hard. And again, we got one crack at this deal, one time around the track. We should endeavor to do this on our terms as much as we can. I think that the way out of a lot of the problems that we're experiencing as a country, just because we are tiptoeing around so many different things. And I'm fond of saying that you do your part by doing your best. So your part in this is to become the best possible version of you, the truest and most honest possible version of you. And the only way out of it is through it. Winston Churchill said, well, if you're going through hell, just. Just keep going. And it's not easy. And a lot of this work is so uncomfortable, but we can do. You can do difficult things. You are worthy and. And deserving of the life that you want, the financial life that you want. But no, but none of us are entitled to it. Nobody's going to give it to us. And if we're waiting around for somebody to tap us in the shoulder or tell it's okay or give us permission, we'll be waiting too long. So.

Oh, George, not to always have the last word, but I want to just amplify and then let you go and ask where people can find more about you. I think one way to look at this is I personally believe we came here knowing what our challenges would be. And I know people who've had terrible trauma and horrific times of it would not agree, many of them us. And I get it, and I don't mean to be tone deaf, but when I look at some of the deepest challenges I've had, it helps me to look at if I had signed up for this challenge and if at the end of this time I look back and go, how'd I do that? Helps me that framework that if I signed up for it. What am I meant to have overcome and become? So I ask you to think about it. If it feels compelling, if it makes you want to throw up in your mouth, don't think about it. But I, I do think it helps us understand that some of these challenges are there for our highest growth and good, even though they're hard. All right. Thank you for letting me say that. Thank you for being here, George. Where does everyone soak up everything? Where do we send them? Where do we send them?

Money Alignment Academy.com is probably the best place. All my books are found on Amazon. The newest one is called your money story. How to get the ending you want. And it's a lot of the, a lot of the stuff that we've been talking about today.

Thank you so much for the work you do and for the, the heart and the soul and the simplicity that you help people recognize is possible in managing a different future for themselves. Thank you. Come back again. Come back again. All right, everybody. You know, I say this every time. If we, if you don't have a question here, if, yeah, if we haven't spurred something that makes you go, no, I don't believe that, or oh, I'd like to believe that, but. Or oh, I have a little shame, reach out to George, reach out to me. That's how we move forward, that we take something and then we tease it apart and make it our own. So I hope you find this helpful, people. Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking the finding brave journey with us. George, come back again. Thank you and we will see you next time. Bye. Hey friends, thank you for tuning in today and I am over the moon to share with you about the recent release of my new career coaching digital tool, Kathy Caprino AI and offer you the first month free. This tool brings my career growth teachings, advice and answers to your most pressing questions directly to you 24. 7 with a subscription. You get unlimited access and can message or audio chat with my clone anytime you need help. Help. Drawing on 40 plus years of experience from my corporate work, my time as a therapist and in career and leadership coaching thousands of folks along with writing and speaking across six continents. I've trained Kathy AI using over 2.5 million words of my content that over 41 million people have seen. There are two affordable tiers with tier two offering some great bonuses including free monthly coaching calls with me, a private consultation, exclusive discounts on my courses and programs, free LinkedIn support, and more. It also makes a fantastic tool for your teams and employees who want to thrive and grow professionally. So check it out@kathycaprino.com kathyai and get your first month free with the coupon code KC free trial AI. Let me know what you think. I truly hope it becomes a game changer for you. Thanks so much for joining us today. And please don't forget to check out findingbrave.org for more programs, resources and tips. And tune in next time for your weekly dose of finding brave.