6 Positive Mindsets That Will Help Your Dream Soar

Hello here. Welcome to my brave up Tuesday. We are going to talk about something that's near and dear to my heart. Six positive mindsets that help your dream soar. So let me see. Can you see me? No weird shadows. All right, Looks good. I want to tell you a little bit about something I'm going through in my own life that really points to how these mindsets are so critical, and if you don't have all of them, kind of all the pistons firing, you get gummed up, you get stuck. You don't move forward in ways that you know you could and should. I don't like the word should that you know you could. You know, you're not hitting your stride, but you don't know why. So, you know, another reason I'm really keen on talking about all this is, you know, that I'm a career and personal coach. I'm now doing parenting work, which has been reinvigorated because I run a Facebook group thriving after narcissism. And that group goes by. It grows by 10 to 20 people a day. And what I'm. What I'm seeing there, this is a bit of an. Aside from the stuff that goes on in our childhood stays with us for life unless we consciously address it, therapeutically address it, energetically address it. So I'm also looking at how we parent, how we engage with others, the communication approach we have, the mindsets we have there in terms of what is healthy relating and what is healthy parenting. So all of that is feeding this topic. Six mindsets that help your dreams soar. Oh, yeah. So what I was saying is I hear from, probably, I'm not exaggerating 50 people a day in some way or another who want some help because they have a very big dream. So let me tell you what I mean about big dream. I'm not really talking about just landing a job and a paycheck. Not that these things aren't important, but I'm talking about the biggest vision that you have that would make you say, oh, my gosh, this is why I came on. Came on the earth, on this planet at this time. I'm talking about the big, juicy dreams that make you feel alive, that make you feel important and valued and special and using your talents. I'm talking about those big dreams. So I want to start with a bit of an example so we can dimensionalize this. And I also, please give me thumbs up when you hear something that resonates or if you have a question on that and type in your questions. I want to leave Time to talk about your big dreams. So I want to be really transparent here. One of my, I've written a book, I have a big blog on Forbes. I, you know, I'm a speaker, I'm kind of traveling internationally now. So a lot of my big dreams have come to fruition, which I'm so grateful for. And there's been one that's been, I would say, weighing heavily on my mind and my heart and my spirit because I want to do it. And it's. Some of, you know, it's writing a screenplay of an idea that emerged for me and it's about a past life memory actually. And I think I've been talking about this for eight years or seriously wanting to do it for five years. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about what I've done and why it didn't move forward until this month. So I knew I needed help. I knew I didn't know how to write a screenplay. So I took an amazing screenwriting course, Robert McKee's course called Story, which is unbelievable. I studied screenplays. You can download them online and study them. I kind of started studying film in a different way and watch movies and watch films about their arc and, you know, the themes, etc. In some ways I threw myself into it, but I couldn't, I couldn't get it done. I couldn't do it. So even as early, as recently as about four months ago, I dug out my screenwriting software and I said, damn it, I'm gonna write this thing. So I'm, you know, I'm messing with the conventions, you know, act one, scene one, interior, day, you know, and I got stuck, way stuck. So I said to myself, okay, you know what this is? You need help. You've written, you write thousands of words a week, but you don't write, you don't necessarily know how to write rich, complex characters and the arc of a, you know, a three act play. You need help. So then the next step, and I'm telling you all this because I believe that this is what, this is kind of the anatomy of why we get stuck. Okay, I need help. And I've looked at some of the help that's around me and I'm not drawn to it. So then the question is, who are you going to hire and where are you going to find that person and who's going to be the perfect fit? And I know a lot of people who hire coaches wait years to find the right coach or the right therapist or the right energy healer. So I waited and I said, I will know it when it happens. And it hasn't happened yet until an amazing set of events happened. And I was interviewing Laverne McKinnon, who's a fantastic producer with Charlize Theron's business, Denver and Delilah. Laverne has a new Netflix show coming out in April, Girl Boss, and we just totally hit it off. And wouldn't you know, Laverne is also not only a producer, but a coach and a writer. And she said to me, kathy, what's your big dream? And I thought, thank you, universe. And I said, I have a screenplay idea, but I just. I'm struggling with birthing it. Two seconds later, she gives me, you know, a name of an amazing guy, Bruce Gelfand in la. And that's it. We talked, fell in love with his mind, hired him, and off we go. And so it's been. This is the first week of full assignments, and the whole thing is life changing. So I wanted to. I'm telling you that because I was stuck for years on this one thing, that I really wanted to write this screenplay because I feel it's messages that are critical for the world, but I couldn't get it off the ground. So I want to talk to you about why we get stuck and the six mindsets that are going to help you build and birth your biggest dream and vision. What comes to my mind is, first, you got to know what the vision is. So, you know, I want to say one thing about that. You've heard me talk about career path assessment, my survey that I have every one of my clients and course members fill out, and, you know, it asks, what is the thing you want to do most, and what are you known for and what are your special gifts? And as I've said a million times, a lot of people can't answer these questions. Well, if you have this nagging thing that you know you're meant for bigger or better things, and I don't mean that in a snarky, competitive way. If you've got a job that bores you senseless and you want to poke your eye out with the stick, there's something more for you. But you have to get on the path to figuring it out and dimensionalizing it. And if you need help, you know where I am. I'm a coach. This is what I help people do. But first, you got to know what it is. So once you know it, I want to write this screenplay. And here's what it's about. And I know why I want to Write it. And it's not just to be, you know, to get famous as a screenwriter. It's to get this story out. Because I think it's life changing. What's your dream? Type it in here, type it in. What is it? Share it. That's another thing. We have to share it. All right, Yackety yack. Let me tell you about the six mindsets you gotta have if you want to birth your big dream. The first is people that do amazing things in the world believe that their dream is 100% possible, but they don't over attach to how it's gotta look. And so this is problem number one. I see so many people, whether they want to be a coach, whether they want to leave corporate life, whether they want to be a singer or a writer or an actor or a painter or write their book. It doesn't have to be the loftiest dream in the world. It can be, I want to write a blog. I want to write one sentence. I want to write an article. Whatever your dream is. There's no dream that's too big or too small. But what I see a lot of people doing is they attach to how it has to look. I've got to write a blog, and it has to be in Forbes. Well, maybe Inc. Magazine is the better one for you, right? Or maybe your own blog on your own site is the better thing. Or. I see this in my courses. I've got two courses going on now, the Amazing Career Project and a coach certification course. And in the coach training, I see people overly attached to this step has to happen before I do this. And it's not necessarily true. You're gumming it down, gumming it up by saying it's gotta look like this and this is the timing that it has to have. You know, the universe, Life doesn't work like that. What has to happen is you believe it's possible. And you get out of the way. You get out of the way. You gotta show up. Yes. I don't mean that you're. What comes to mind is the book the Secret. And while I agree with some of the principles in the Secret, I don't agree with how it was interpreted and how it was written. Because. Because to me it sounded like, sit on your couch, pop your bonbons and you'll get a new car and your screenplay will be, you know, win an Oscar. It doesn't work like that either. You've got to work, you've got to apply yourself. You got to meet the universe halfway. But what you don't want to do is say, it's got to look like this. It has to be now. It has to be Forbes. It has to be. I have to be a career coach that has a certain number of people on my list. And with an LGM lead generation magnet, it's got to be this, this, this, this. Get out of the way, get out of the way. Does that make sense? All right, if you have questions, I really want you to ask them. Here, let me, let me answer your questions. The second mindset is people who launch amazing things in the world recognize there's a right time and a wrong time. And there is now. If you start to launch your thing in the wrong time, is it never going to get off the ground? It could. It possibly could. But it's going to be bumpy and hard and arduous and you're going to feel like, what the heck? Why is every door closed to me? Timing is so important in life. So one thing I'm going to say, and maybe some people will find this way controversial, but a lot of people will come to me or have over the years, women said, I'm dying to get out of my corporate life and I'm pregnant and I'm thinking of launching my business. Now this is what I'm going to say. You're already launching a life inside of you, and I've done that twice. It's pretty incredible. And it takes so much at a cellular level to build a life and to launch it into the world. So maybe launching your business when you're seven months pregnant is not a great idea. It pretty much isn't. And you know, that's not. I'm not being an anti feminist. I'm just saying you got to know where your energy is. And that's another thing a lot of people say, I so want to write this screenplay or build a bed and breakfast, but why do I not have any energy? If you have no energy, you can't build the dream. So you've got to understand and get help to understand why. Why do I feel so not energetic, excited and juiced? Because to build a dream, you got to have more energy and passion and commitment than you could ever imagine. You know, I'm working with my son, who's a sophomore in college, about building a network and getting on LinkedIn. And I feel this as well about getting an amazing job. You know, a lot of people will say, I applied to that job and I didn't hear anything. Now what? Ah, you got to apply to 100. Not blindly, not Unconsciously. But you have to network and apply yourself a hundred times more than you think you do to get one great job. So if you're finding that you don't have the energy for it, you're going to have to look at why that is. But back to the mindset. You got to recognize there's a right time and a wrong time. So when I look at even this screenplay idea, what's crazy is if I had written it five years ago, it wouldn't be the story. It is because I've gone through so much and learned so much and changed so much, and there's pain coming up in writing it that I'm now ready to deal with where I wasn't five years ago. Timing, timing. So if you feel like you're hitting your head against the wall, there might be a reason outside your awareness that this is not the right time. So it's time to look at that. The third mindset of people who launch amazing things in the world is they don't bother with the odds or chances of success. Let it go. You know, let that go. If I, if I listened to that part of my mind that said, you're too old to do this, I wouldn't have gotten a master's in marriage and family therapy. I wouldn't have changed my life. You know, who cares about the chances of success? Someone's writing that screenplay, launching that bed and breakfast, becoming an artist, launching their jewelry on Etsy. Someone's doing it. Why wouldn't it be? You don't worry about the chances of success. You know, more often than not, it's the doing of the thing that changes your life, not necessarily where it ends up. So the writing of the screenplay already, what I have to go through to dimensionalize this is becoming a little bit of a life changing experience. Do the thing. Don't worry about, I'm too old. I'm too this, I'm too not educated enough. I don't have my masters, start doing it. The fourth is they don't ask people that launch amazing things and get it done, don't ask, why me? They ask, why not me? That's so powerful. I think so many people come to me, why, why me? Why should I have this great, you know, flexible business where other people are still killing themselves in the corporate world? Or why, why would I have a blog and someone else didn't? Or what do I think I know about writing a children's book or becoming an illustrator? You know, don't ask why. You ask why not? You are you talented? Are you gifted? What are those special gifts? Do you have a message? Can you turn your mess into a message? You know, I loved doing that. I turned my entire mess of my corporate life and my corporate challenges and my mindsets and how I allowed myself to be victimized. I turned that mess into a message. Why not you? You are special and so important here and valuable. And the world needs your messages. Why not you? All right, number five. They recognize what they don't know and they close their power gaps. So back to my story. I knew I needed help, but. And I wanted a certain kind of help. I wanted someone immersed in Los Angeles, in the writing world who'd helped people win Academy awards and Emmy awards and poetry awards. I wanted that level because if I'm gonna do this thing, I want to do it right now. You know, we all don't have to do it that way. But I knew I needed help and I wanted a certain level of help. But the truth is I wasn't ready for that certain level until this year when I started really engaging with all of these mindsets. Okay, so what don't you know? What's the dream you have? Type it in, let me know. And what don't you know? I hear from a lot of coaches who say, oh, thank you know, I have a four part video series on how to build your successful coaching business fast. Because it's everything I didn't know, all the mistakes I made, all the, oh, everything that coaching training today will not tell you because they don't want you to know because then you won't do it and they won't and they won't make money off of you. I don't mean every coach. Training CTI is amazing. There's some amazing training organizations. But I mean, I noticed even in my master's in marriage and family therapy, there were some people that probably shouldn't have been in the course in the master's program. But they're not going to turn away students necessarily who fit some form of criteria. So why am I talking about this? Closing your power gaps, knowing, ah, so new coaches will say, oh, finally, I watched your video. I read your ebook on the 10 crippling mistakes new coaches make and how to avoid them. And I'm getting help or taking your course or, or getting mentorship from a coach who's really successful in my town. I'm getting help. I'm closing my power gaps. I want to talk about power gaps for a minute. That's a word I use, a term I use for it's not just where you're insecure. It's a gap. Like imagine a crack in a sidewalk and your energy gets sucked out of this crack because you don't feel worthy, you don't feel ready, you're afraid, you feel like there's no way you can do this alone. It sucks the energy and sucks the confidence out of you. That's a power gap. I have seen that. I would say that. Have I met a person that doesn't have a power gap? Not really. Even illustrious best selling authors, Pulitzer prize winners, I'm telling you, when I speak on the phone with them, I hear their power gaps. I can feel them. We all have them. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to address it, get help for it or just let it suck the energy out of you? Okay, get the right kind of help, know what you don't know and, and close those gaps. Finally, number six, the sixth mindset you need is they surround themselves with wonderful supporters who have, this is an important criteria criterion, who have this self esteem and self confidence to help other people lie. So many people get the wrong kind of help. They go to the wrong people, they go to the wrong organizations. Let me, let me give you an example. I'm in a circle of online marketers and online influencers and I see a lot of stuff and a lot of it. I don't even have words. People promise the moon to other people. Take my course and you'll make 100,000amonth. And people will snap it up because they're desperate. They're desperate. But what I see with a lot of these online gurus, they don't really want other people to succeed. They just want to make money. So makes me upset because I see the fakeness, the fear, fakery, the manipulation. It's emotional manipulation. I feel it and I see it. So what you want to do on the other hand, is choose people who have an incredible sense of self esteem and self confidence that they love helping other people fly. And I don't mean wounded healers. I know some wounded healers who almost feed off of other people needing them. I'm not talking about that energy. I'm talking about someone who's rocked in their own right, who's gotten, you know, Brene Brown talks about, I don't listen to anybody who isn't in the arena, who hasn't gotten in the arena. I love that you find help from someone who's already in the arena, who's done the work, who knows what it is to launch a huge thing against all odds and how to deal with the people going, really? You really think you want to do that? I had one friend years ago who, when I told her that I wanted to write a screenplay, I'll never forget it. We were sitting in Starbucks and she's in the entertainment world and has won some high accolades. And I told her, and she just looked at me blankly and said, you know, I'll be back. I'm going to go to the bathroom. And when she came back, she didn't want to talk about what I had shared. And so I said, what's up with that? What's going on here? And what she said was, oh, so many people want to write a screenplay and it never gets done. That's not the kind of person you want to share your dream with. That ain't it. So you got to be careful who you share your dreams with. Not everybody wants you to succeed. Not everyone has the bedrock of self esteem to watch you soar and help you soar. For a lot of people, that gets very threatening and very depressing for them. I remember when I left corporate life forever and I was so overjoyed. A few people who were miserable in their corporate jobs and lives said, you know, what do you want to do that for? What do you want to become a therapist for? They were putting me down. But I would say to them, well, why are you responding in that way? What's up with you? So what comes at you is much more about someone else than you. So that's it. The six mindsets. They believe that their dream is possible, but they don't get messed up with the hows. They recognize there's a right time and a wrong time and they honor that. They don't break themselves against it. Right. They don't bother themselves with the odds or chances of success. Forget it. Forget it. Go for it. Right? And you know, let me just say this. A lot of people come to me and they're ready to chuck everything and invest 50,000 in starting a coaching business, and they're not ready. So in. In. And they're gonna fail. I can see it. So we have to work through some things. So I'm not saying you should chuck all your life savings without vetting a direction, without taking the right steps. But I am, I am saying get on the path to the dream in a very rational, reasonable way. Right? Right. Don't ask, why me? Ask why not me? Why not me? Why can't I do this? Why don't I have what it takes. I do. I have it. They recognize what they don't know when they close their power gaps with the right kind of help. Right? And finally they surround themselves with wonderful, wonderful supporters who have what it takes to watch you fly and help you fly. All right, now, I'd love to hear from you. Five people are live. More people are gonna, more people are gonna watch this as I put it on YouTube and all of these are gonna go on my, my website as well. Kathy Caprino.com by the end of the month, they're all going to be there as well. I do want to tell you something. I've got it invited to do one pretty exciting thing in Barcelona. Please stay tuned for that. I think many of you will be interested in joining me there. And I want to share with you. I am co hosting an amazing women's retreat in Greece in Mykonos, Greece in September. And the co hosts are amazing Avril MacDonald and Misa Mink. And you can find everything about that on this page where I've, where I've linked to it. But the website is light from the dawn dot com. It's going to be amazing. We can only take 30 people, 30 women. And the deadline, yay. The deadline for reserving Your room is March 31st, so go to www.lightfromthedawn.com. read all about it. I'm giving a three hour workshop. There's yoga, there's spiritual growth programs, there's entrepreneurial programs, there's. Avril's talking about how to make the big ask and boy, does she know about it. I'm looking right now at her amazing Feel Brave children's book series that's winning awards right and left. She said everyone in this program, in this retreat, you're gonna love and it's gonna be life changing. And I, and I hope you'll join me. Mykonos. I'm half Greek and I've been to four places in Greece, but I've not been to Mykonos. But my gosh, as I'm getting to know it for this retreat, it's magical. Magical. There's nothing like Greece in the world. I hope you'll join me for that. Check it out. Light from the Dawn. All right, Lisa. Oh, thanks, Lisa. Lisa, thank you for being so real and encouraging. I feel you're all close friend offering loving advice. Too often we are told lies. Thank you, Lisa. Content marketing business, looking for your next opportunity. Oh, that's so beautiful. You know, I just want to say two things about that. How did you put it close friend. I would love that. That makes me happy. Because when, when I'm sharing this information, I do feel like you're close friends to me. I feel like I want you to succeed. I want so much for you to not have the challenges. In the mess I had, I would be the happiest person on the planet. I am the happiest person every day when someone writes, you saved me from myself, you saved me from this. You got me going on my path. You know, I just, I just love this work and I love, you know, it's not easy sharing about my bumps and trials and tribulations, but I'm sorry. Fed up, up to the craw with the BS I see online. They even tell you, you know, make sure when you're doing a video, you're showing some, you know, go to a castle, go to something aspirational to make people feel like you're wealthy. I can't stand this nonsense. And you know what? People who are really in touch with their energy understand this is bull. They're not manipulated into it. So thank you for sharing. And I love being able to tell the truth because for many years in my corporate life, I couldn't tell the truth about anything. So thank you, Lisa. Thank you for being here every week. Samantha. Oh, you're so welcome. What methods or skills can you recommend for examining personal blocks in decision making? You know what? Beautiful. So I have a Forbes post look at Caprino Forbes decision making. I'm going to share with you what's in the way of our decision making. In fact, that post goes through it all beautifully. What's in the way? But what I see is in the way, number one is, you know, I'm going to throw this out to you. So many people who come to me who can't make decisions had some form of emotional manipulation in their childhood. For many, it was narcissism. I'll just tell you about this for a minute. Narcissism is a spectrum disorder. So you've got full blown narcissists who are like psychopaths, scary. Then they can literally be like monsters. And a lot of people have married this. And then when, when the spouse really wants to leave the marriage or challenges the husband, they can become like monsters. Like I don't even recognize who this person is. And they're scary. But on the other side of the spectrum, they can be loving people. They can be people that can engage in productive relationships. But they have certain tendencies. Well, children who grew up with any of that are often Suppressed. They actually don't even know how to think for themselves. They're so scared of it either. They were punished when they spoke up, they were punished when they said they wanted to do something that the parent didn't want. They are so suppressed that it's terrifying for them to even think for themselves. If that's you, that needs energy, healing and therapeutic help. Most of this stuff needs some therapeutic help. And you know, I was a therapist and I was engaged in therapy. So there's no stigma when I say that a lot of cultures, a lot of countries think you're, you've got to be insane before you or psychotic before you get therapy. I totally don't agree. I think everybody I've ever met needs a little bit of therapy at some point in their life. So the first thing about decision making is you have to be able to hear yourself and you have to be able to know what you want. The second thing is in decision making you have to have really good boundaries and a lot of people are going to give you advice. Like when I left corporate life. Really, you're going to give that up? Wow. But it was right after 9, 11, so a lot of people were rethinking their lives. But I've gotten a lot of pushback from a lot of things I've done. You need boundaries that let you say that's where that person ends and this is where I begin and we're not enmeshed and they can tell me they think I'm full of crap, but I know what I feel and I know what I want and I know what I'm capable of. So it's boundaries, what else? Decision making is also a process of looking at what you want, then vetting it. So you know, in my career, amazing career project course, we talk about the five steps, step back, let go, say yes, try it on and create it smart. You got to take these five steps. And if you've missed my course, we are making available the video series upon which the live course where I'm with everybody every week is available. So you can take the self paced video series journey. Then for the next session I give the amazing career project course every six months. You can wait, do the videos and then join me for the online course when it's open again. But you have to vet your decisions. You've got to vet with research, with data. You know, I'm all for going with your gut, but I'm also all for integrating data and research. You know, for instance, I work with so many people that I feel really comfortable saying these are the five, you know, ways people are broken down or whatever. But I make sure it's grounded in research, that I'm not just making it up because that's not helpful to anyone. So those are some of the things that go on with decision making. But check out my Forbes post and let me know if that's helped. Oh, Samantha, that's you. You're in my narcissism group. I'm sorry that I don't know that it's getting so large that I can't keep track of everybody. But, yeah, that's what's going on. Then you're suppressed and you're gonna need. Your voice is suppressed and you're gonna need some direct hands on help about that. Okay. All right. Jeff and Shelly. Hi. Hi, Shelley. Oh, you just finished reading Breakdown. Breakthrough. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. You say from the beautiful wisdom. I'm at a career crossroads. Oh, how wonderful. Oh, Samantha, thanks. Oh, how wonderful, Shelley. I'm so glad. I'm so glad that book was helpful. You know, it's crazy. So that book came out in 2008. I go back to it still, you know, often I quote from. From it or I feel like every word is as. As relevant today as it was in 2008. So check that out, folks. Breakdown, Breakthrough. You can find it on Amazon. It's 14 stories of women. True, real life. Real stories of women's transformation and reinvention and what they learned with exercises and strategies and solutions. That book was a life changer for me. That's a perfect example of launching a dream. I wanted to write a book. I wrote, you know, a chapter. I went to a top editorial consultant. She said, this is not your big idea. This is more like a workshop. I think you need to research. Talking about research. And I left crying. I remember was in the Algonquin Hotel in New York City. And I cried because I want. I just wanted to write this, but boy, was she right. And from that minute, I decided I would talk to 100 women across the country who I didn't know about. What is professional crisis? How did you get there? How did you overcome it? And what strategies and tips do you have to offer? It was amazing. And 50% of my hypotheses going into that research were wrong. So research, it's fantastic. But I hope you all love the book. Thank you. All right, I think we're at. Time's up. If any of this resonated, let me know. Post some comments. Again, I'm going to post it on YouTube. I want to share with you. Two weeks ago, I posted a Facebook Live on YouTube about feminism. And my God, that week, there were some tears going on for me. The hate and the rage that came at me, the swear words, the obscenities. I was so rocked. So rocked. And I'm going to be really honest, one thing that rocked me as well is women would write to me privately and tell me that they agreed or here's what. But they wouldn't get in the arena. And that saddens me. We have to have women speak up and use their voice, because what that was was a series of trolls who just wanted to hate. Hate on women, hate on feminism, hate on equality. And, you know, if we're gonna. If we're going to achieve equality, we have to have all of our voices heard, not just the hate faction. Don't get rocked by the trolls. You know what people told me? Don't take it personally. The problem for me was I felt the energy of hate in a way I literally have never felt it in my life. And that's what has erupted in our world today. So, yes, thank you, Samantha. I'm trying not to get rocked. It's just the degree and the level of hatred. Wow. It's pretty crazy, Shelly. Aw. Keyboard warriors. Thank you, Shelly. You did have my back, didn't you? Thank you, everyone. You know, it's not easy being the. Being in the arena, and it's not easy going for your biggest dreams. It ain't easy. It's not for the faint of heart. But I know you're here because you want to do it, and I'd love to help you. All right, everyone, thank you so much for joining me, and I'll see you next Tuesday at noon. Bye.