How to Boost Your Confidence Today

Hello, everybody. Kathy Caprino here. I'm sorry if you were seeing that it disconnected because the Internet connection. But here we are live. I hope I see people. I'm gonna wait a minute before I launch in. And if you do join me, what I'd love you to do is give me a thumbs up. Yay, there are people. All right, welcome to. I'm Kathy Caprino. Welcome to my Brave Up Tuesday. We are talking about. Every week I try to tackle a topic that is either burningly important to my coaching clients and my course members or something that has caught my attention that's gotten me agitated or I feel that we need more coverage about this or more. Oh, thank you, folks. More explanation or more exclamation exploration. So this is all about all of these videos. How to build a career and your life in. In the way that you want it, with more happiness and joy and reward and recognition and connection and love. So that's what this is about. Today. We're talking about how to boost your confidence when it's been flattened. So, gosh, there's so much to say about this, but what I really want to do here is, you know, if you followed my work, you know that I like to talk strategic and conceptual, but I don't leave it there. I want to make sure there are practical steps for you to incorporate and integrate today the minute you get off this video. Because what good is it if we're just thinking about something but we don't take action? I have found that action is what builds. Oh, that's cool. I'm getting little texts from Facebook. It's action that changes how we operate. You know, I learned this. Most of you know, my story. 18 year corporate career fraught with challenges, but very successful on the outside. But I never felt like I was really rocking it. I don't think I had more than a handful of days where I really felt as self confident as I want you to feel and as I feel now. Never. And I want to talk about what I learned. But then I became a therapist and my eyes were opened about what's really going on in life, in our personality development and our psyche and our souls. And, you know, it just was a life changing experience. And then doing the work of a therapist was even more life changing because then you're sitting with someone taking their personal brand of challenges and trying to help them. So that was. That was mind blowing. And then I became a coach and a writer. And in writing, I use everything I've learned. So that's where all of this is coming from. And as you know, many of you know, I've launched a Facebook group thriving after narcissism, because I had narcissism in my life and it wreaked havoc on my life. And I didn't get it, I didn't understand it. I didn't know what narcissism was. And actually I feel there's an epidemic. And, you know, I've felt that for about a year now that there's a narcissism epidemic. And I was watching a TedX talk by Kristin Neff about self compassion versus self esteem. It's beautiful. And she quotes a statistic that narcissism is on the rise and narcissistic personality disorder is absolutely crushing. If you are anywhere near that. If you work for a narcissist, you're divorcing or married to a narcissist. If your family members are narcissists, your life is not healthy. Excuse me. So I want to touch on that because growing up in that will rock your confidence and rock it till the end of your days until you do something about it. But let's back up a minute. Boosting your confidence. So what is self confidence? You know, I was thinking, what's the definition? I looked it up online and I go, yeah, that's perfect. Here it is. It's trust in your own abilities, judgment and qualities. I'm going to add some things to that. I believe it's unwavering trust in your own judgment, abilities and qualities. That's self confidence. So let me talk a little bit about what I know about self confidence. Working with all these people 11,011 years. If you're human, you've had your confidence rocked. If you've never experienced that, I think that you are probably a little bit narcissistic if you haven't ever said, wow, ow, that hurts like hell. What did I do wrong? Or I'm not good enough. You know, that's a human thought. That's a human experience. So we've all had it. But healthy people are resilient people and they're able to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and move forward. And the healthier and more resilient you are, the quicker you can move forward. So I'm going to give you examples of doing it right. I don't even like that term. You know, doing it in the confident way, living life in the confident way. And not so, you know, for instance, when I was laid off after my toxic VP job, I should have been overjoyed I had asked for a package a year before, but I wasn't overjoyed. I was devastated. So devastated. And I didn't recover really for years, truly. I became a therapist or began to study therapy pretty quickly right after that layoff, after 9, 11. But I did not regain and actually really rock it in my confidence level for many years later. And now I know why. And I'm going to talk about that too. And I share this personal stuff because I know that some of you on this video are going to resonate with this because you've been fired or you've been laid off, or you've been passed over, or you didn't get the job you went for, or you've applied for 10 jobs or 100 jobs and you haven't gotten any. Your boss told you you're on probation, right? Or your lover or spouse left you. This is human life, right? Okay, so back to. We've all had our confidence rocked, but it's how you deal with that that shows if you truly have a chronic self confidence problem. Okay? If it's chronic, a blow like, oh, I was laid off or fired or I was left, you know, by my significant other is gonna flatten you and you're not gonna recover for a long, long time. So anybody you know in all these videos, thank you. Do this for me so I know I'm not just speaking to the camera and that I know that this is resonating with you. Okay. Anytime I say something that resonates, I'd love your thumbs up. That would be so helpful for me because it's a little hard just talking into the camera. Thanks, folks. Thank you. All right, so chronic self doubt where you have like a crack in your own self concept means you don't recover from this stuff. You just don't recover. And it stays with you. And it stays with you for years. I want to give you a breakthrough about that. I want you to watch this video and have a breakthrough. So let's keep talking here. If you have healthy self confidence, you know what it takes to survive, you know what it takes? Mmm. Oh, Kate, sorry to hear that. Thanks, Dave. Not Dave. Diet. I need my glasses. Where are they? Okay, where was I? So if you have healthy self confidence, you know what it takes to survive and thrive, and you are like a warrior about it. You are going to do what is required to feel good about yourself. And again, I don't mean narcissism, which is it's a personality disorder and it's a spectrum disorder. So you can have some traits or you can be a full blown kind of psychopath about it. But I'm talking about, you know, you got rocked, but you're going to be accountable to figure out what was your part in it. So one thing I want to share with you is the biggest part of self confidence is self. And people don't understand this. And I didn't understand this. Self confidence, you're not born with it. People who look very confident. You might even look at me and say, well, she's doing these videos and she did a TedX talk. She's confident. You know, if you saw me 20 years ago, I wasn't the same person. I wasn't the same person at all. It's taken action, awareness, greater awareness equals greater choice. We're going to talk about that. You got to get aware of what is holding you down and keeping you stuck. And then you got to take action to shift it. That's the self part of self confidence. All right, so let's talk about some things. If you struggle from a self confidence problem and you wouldn't be on this video. 50 people, cool. I think that might be the most live who've joined me, which is wonderful. I want you to do a few things if you have a problem with self confidence today. Okay? The first thing is so, you know, I look at why. Why am I effective as a coach? Why? You know, some people have said, oh my gosh, one session with, you know, has moved me forward more than six months of therapy. And, you know, because I am a trained therapist, I kind of know what that means. But. And I'm honored and humbled by that. But I think one of the reasons I'm very successful as a coach is I help people look at everything that's made them who they are. Because here's the deal. If you came to me and you were flattened because you just got laid off or fired or you can't get a job, why would I simply look at today going forward? I got to look at who you are, who you've become, what, what influenced that. And the very first place we would start is your childhood. And so I want to tell you this. So many people were raised with messages from their parents and family that weren't helpful. So this is not to bash our parents. They were, most of them, doing the best they could. But what I found is previous generations were very authoritative, authoritarian. I grew up with that Greek and Italian parents and it was really, do as I say. Yeah, this resonates. Look, they were doing the best they Could. They didn't take psychology courses. They didn't have parenting books. There weren't 10 million articles online about how to parent. But the reality is that kind of authoritative parenting, you will do this and you will like it, is crippling to a child. It's crippling because you're not allowed to think for yourself and you're not allowed to articulate what you feel and you're not allowed to believe what you believe. I mentioned this in one of my articles. One neighbor, I heard her saying to her son, you are going to church today and you will like it. No. Okay. You can believe that church is an important thing, or your mosque or temple, but you don't ever tell a child what they should think because what that does is strip a child from believing in their trusting their own judgment. You know, there's so many other ways to encourage a child to do what you're hoping they will do. So, you know, we're gonna do a parenting video too, because I just see so much bad parenting. Bad parenting. I talk about this almost every video, so obviously I got to do a video on it. So authoritarian parenting is crushing to you. Not only that, look at the messages that you were given about yourself. Was your, was love from your parents conditional? Did you feel like only if you got an A in all your courses were you lovable or only if you were thin or only if you were beautiful or only if you were talented or only if you were the starting soccer player or only if you got into Harvard, was love unconditional or conditional? If it was conditional, your self esteem isn't what it needs to be because you were taught that I have to look and be and sound and act a certain way to be lovable. Yeah, lots of, lots of thumbs up. That makes me cry. So what were the messages you got? Healthy messages that support the growth of self esteem in a human being and in a child are, I love you no matter what. That does not mean you're gonna let the kid lie and cheat and steal and be horrible to other people. It doesn't mean that. It means, wow, Freddie, you really. I watched you hurt that other child by what you said. Let's sit down and talk about it. You know I love you and I'm guessing you didn't mean to be hurtful, but you were hurtful, so let's talk about it. But you don't shame your child, right? So if you were shamed, and let me say this, if there was any kind of abuse, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual, your boundaries didn't follow effectively. And your self confidence is rocked. So what happens is we spend 18 years with our family. Some kids leave earlier, some emancipate, but in General, we're about 18 years home. You learn a lot. You learn a lot about yourself. You learn a lot about love. You learn what you have to do to get love. You know, I've mentioned this before. Tony Robbins. There's a really interesting documentary, Tony Robbins about Tony Robbins called I Am not yout Guru. Fascinating. And in it, he asks somebody who's attended his live event, think about your parents. Who did you crave love most from? And who did you have to be to get it? What a question. Answer it. Who would you have to be? So if you had any of this, your self confidence is not where it needs to be. And it's not your fault. You know, it's not your fault. But you have to make sure you're focusing on the self part of self confidence, and you got to do something about it. Now, second thing I want to talk about. I can't tell you how many people tell me, including, you know, people I know very well and friends and family, that. That they're on Facebook. And Facebook makes them throw up because all they're seeing are happy, beautiful people. Here I am at my son's Yale orientation, and this person feels like my children are having a hard time getting through high school. Or here I am out in Mexico with my family and my friends, and here we are drinking and having the time of our lives. People are saying, I can't even afford, you know, to put food on the table. And so they're looking at Facebook as a way to compare their life. I would want to ask you to do this. Stop looking at Facebook. First of all, what do we put on Facebook? We don't put ourselves looking terrible and exhausted with no makeup and, you know, feeling horrible and depressed. We put the varnished view of our life. You know, someone said to me, I wish my life were as good as what my life looks like on Facebook. I howled. Yeah. So Facebook, unfortunately, you know, I love Facebook. This is Facebook. But don't use it to compare your life. Don't do it. You're comparing a varnished look of another person's life. So I always say, comparison is the death of peace. Don't compare unless you want to be motivated. Only. Only compare as a way to say, wow, she's rocking it. What is she doing that I want to adopt? Not. Oh, God, look at me compared to this person. Are you with me? Will you stop comparing. It just doesn't work right. The third thing I want to talk about, how we doing with time is expectations. I want to talk about this. Your expectations for yourself and your life and your job and your career and your relationships will make or break your happiness, make or break them. So let me, let me give you an example. A lot of people feel, it seems like everything in their life should be perfect, that they should never get ill, that they should get every job they go for that money, millions of dollars should flow into their account without. They have really wacky expectations that I don't know where they came from. But that's not life, you know? So I'd like you to look at what are your expectations about everything, about your relationships, about how you look, about your health, about how you're going to be treated. If you have an expectation that it should be seamless, flawless, easy, no effort, you're just hurting yourself. That's not human life. And I'm gonna be really honest with you and transparent. I believe that we choose the life that we come into, even though it's fraught with challenges. And you know you're gonna ask me all sorts of questions. Why would you choose a life where you're crippled or you die in a tsunami? I believe there are reasons for that and I believe it's for the evolution of your soul. That's what I believe. You don't have to believe that. But what do you believe? Because I believe that and I've seen this is going to be way woo woo for many people, but I've seen snippets of my own past lives. And I believe that we're here to learn and grow and feel joy and feel love and reach our highest potential. But that isn't easy, you know, as Mike Dooley says, who I adore and I've interviewed him in our podcast and emailed him back and forth. I love him. Mike Dooley. Look@tut tut.com if you want spiritual messages every day that are so fun and wonderful. But he talks about, why would you come into this world if it were all going to be perfect? We wouldn't incarnate into this world if there were going to be no challenges. What a bore. You know, if I could wave my magic wand and everything would be what I wanted, why would we come here? So what are your expectations if you don't get the job? Do you think, oh, how is life thwarting me once again? Or do you look at, oh, okay, wow, I really thought I wanted that job. It looked like a perfect fit, but I didn't get it. So you know what? I'm either going to look at what maybe I didn't do to help myself. Maybe I didn't rock the interview. Maybe I wasn't as prepared. Maybe I didn't know how to answer those questions. Maybe I should have come with better answers. But you're not going to hate yourself for it. You're going to look at what you could have done differently. And if you felt like there's nothing I could have done differently, it went beautifully, why didn't I get it then? You weren't meant to get it. You weren't meant to. There's something bigger, better. And maybe for many people who are going for corporate jobs, I say, do you really want these corporate jobs? And they say, no. Well, you're not going to get the job if you don't energetically want it. Maybe it's time that you go out on your own. Let me talk about that for a minute. You know, the research shows that by 2021, 48% of the nation's workforce in the private sector is going to be independent. Maybe you're meant to be a consultant. Maybe you're meant to finally start this business. I know and have helped so many people leave corporate and finally launch their idea. I have friends doing and clients doing unbelievable things in the world, things that they only dreamt about 10 years ago. But if they kept getting every job they went for, they would never have had the courage and the fortitude to go out on their own. So what are your expectations? Are you crushing yourself with your expectations? Okay, and finally, I want you not finally. There's two points that I'm looking at in my notes. I would love you to gain some self awareness here. So, you know, when I was in spiritual psychotherapy many years ago, my therapist said to me, you know what, Kathy, I noticed that you are a really judgmental person. I don't mean that you're mean to people. I mean everything is a judgment. It's good, it's bad, it's black, it's white. I think I talked about this in another, in another video, but everything was either black or white. And he said, judgments are the death of peace as well. So for instance, if I look at the rain outside and say, oh my gosh, I hate this, this is horrible. Then what is every rainy day going to be in my life? Horrible. If I can let go of the judgments and just say, okay, well, it's rainy today, I'll be happier There'll be more equanimity, you know, but to do that, he said, I want you for the next week to every time you have a judging thought, this is good, this is bad. She's mean, he's great. Judging, judging, judging, judging. I want you to make a mental check mark and say, there goes one of those judging thoughts. So you're separate, you're becoming aware of your thoughts, you're separating yourself from your thoughts and you're letting it go, not hating yourself, but you're saying, okay, there goes one of those judging thoughts. Well, I came back a week later and I said, I think I did it wrong. And he laughed because we're not, we're trying not to be judgmental. And he said, in what way? And I said, I don't not have a judging thought. Everything is a judging thought. And we laughed. And then I got working on it. Stop it. Stop making everything so black and white and what it needs to be. How about looking at what is and embracing it, going with it, right? So what that helped me do is to see that I am not my thoughts. I'm able to change my thoughts. I'm able to note them and let them go. And then when they need to be changed, I change them and I help all my clients do this. So when I'm talking to someone who has no self confidence or it's been flattened, I can hear what their thoughts are. I'm a loser. I'm old. I'm being discriminated against. I'll never amount to anything. It's all so negative. You have to help yourself. You can't let the negative self talk stand. You've got to create a process. And I'm going to give you a process. Well, I'll give it to you right now. Do what my therapist recommended for the next week. Become acutely aware of your self talk. You're going to be floored. You have a thousand thoughts a minute. I'm fat, you know, Ugh, she's mean. Why is she being mean to me? My, my daughter isn't as, you know, as smart as her daughter. You're not going to believe it. I want you to become acutely aware. And the first week I want you to go, wow, there goes one of those negative thoughts. Just say it. Don't do anything about it. Just say it. Just watch. And your, your mind is going to be blown. Okay. Then the next week I want you to say, okay, wow, that was a negative thought. What do I want to replace it with? And let it be you Know everybody has their special version of where they're insecure. I call it a power gap. You may think you're not attractive. You may think you're not smart enough. You may think you're too old. I did when I wanted to reinvent myself and I went to my first class in my marriage and family therapy masters. I drove there sick to my stomach. I'm too old. I don't think I can even study now at 41. Crazy. And of course I got over that quick. Come up with an affirmation that works for you. I am good enough. I'm beautiful inside and out. I am smart enough. I deserve happiness. Come up with one for you that you can buy into. You may not be all the way there. My therapist gave me this. I thoroughly love and accept myself, flaws and all. Okay, all right. So the final thing I want to talk to you about is you can change your level of self confidence. But again, it isn't just by looking at your negative self talk. It's by changing how you behave. So it's not just wishful thinking. So what I want to do here in how much time do we have? Gosh, go so fast. I want to take your questions. I want to talk to you about how you can change your level of self confidence. So if you have been fired, I want you to look at. Here's something that really blows people's minds. We co create everything, every relationship. We are 50% of it. So why'd you get fired? Now sometimes it's truly wrongful. It's bias. And you can go to a lawyer. I went to a lawyer after I was laid off and I got a settlement because it wasn't copacetic. And there are things you can do. But if we're not talking about wrongful firing. You were laid off, you were downsized. What was your part in it? Did you love the job? So often people, when they get fired or laid off, they admit to me, I didn't like it. I didn't fit in. I didn't like the people. I was bored out of my mind. What's your part in it? And this is not to make you feel bad. This is for you to see that you're a co creator. You co created the situation. Now what are you going to do differently? Maybe you're in the wrong industry. Maybe you, you know, there I was 18 years. Yeah, I was good at marketing and copy and scientific books and journals and then market research and then project management and then product management. But I never loved it. Well, if you never loved it. Why are you doing it? Well, there were lots of reasons why I was stuck in doing it. But you know, if you didn't get the job that you thought was perfect for you, what are you saying about it in your mind? That I'll never get a job? Maybe that job wasn't a right fit in ways you can't even imagine. You know, here's another thing. We don't see everything. You know, you may think this was a perfect job and they didn't give it to me. Never. But you didn't see it. You don't know what that job is really like when you're in it. You looked at the varnished view of it, what they presented to you. It maybe have been a horrible fit or like what happened to me. After three terrible bosses, I said, I'm never taking a job with a terrible boss. And I interviewed those bosses. Every time I went on an interview, I also was surveying. Is this going to be a good boss? And I finally found an amazing boss. I love this. I love your thumbs up. Thanks everybody. I found an amazing boss and an amazing job. I took it and I'm not kidding. One month later she quit and I got Attila the Hun for a boss. You, you don't know, right? So what can you do right now to boost your confidence? To say, you know what? Maybe I wasn't meant to get that job. I'm not too old, I'm not too this. How can you stop beating yourself up and really begin to trust your abilities and your judgment and your capabilities and your qualities? How can you say I deserve a beautiful life now? What can I do differently to go get it? And I think if you take all these steps, you're going to have a breakthrough in how you look at yourself and what you expect about life. It's not supposed to be perfectly easy with not one challenge. What a bore. You're supposed to have challenges that your soul signed up for and then you're supposed to embrace them and sink your teeth into them and, and thrive through them. All right, folks, now I want your questions. Ten minutes, let's hear. All right, I got my glasses. Here we go. Oh, I love it. All right, let me scroll back a minute here. Oh, so many people. Alright, let, let me see. Go and have to come back and watch later. Oh, okay, Marilyn. FYI, everyone, I post them to my YouTube channel, Kathy Caprino, and I post them on my website, Kathy Caprino.com youm can search under How I help and there's a Scroll down a drop down box and it says brave Up Videos. Or you can go to Kathy Caprino.com braveup video videos because they're all there. This will be up there in about half hour. Okay. All right. Oh, Amy, I feel like you're speaking just to me. Love that. You know what? That. That means a lot to me. But I also want to tell you, while we're all incredibly different in beautiful, shiny ways, we're all so much the same. We're all so much the same. We struggle with so many issues that are the same. So I'm glad it really struck you. All right. We choose the life we believe we deserve. Kate says, I really believe that you're right on. If you believe that you deserve love and wealth and happiness and recognition, you will behave in a way that will pave the way for that and you will shift your mindset when it's out of alignment with that. And listen, I know, you know, you've heard me talk about one of the final frontiers in this stage of my life of braving up is to begin to write this screenplay. And, you know, I see it. I see it being made, I see producing it, I see being on set with it. And my coach, my very first day with the coach, he said, let me ask you this. Do you think to yourself, why me? How could I possibly? And I said, no, I don't think that. I've gotten over that. Why not me? I talk about that in another video. Why not? Why not? Amazing things are happening to people every day. Why not me? Why not you? All right. Positive intelligence. Love that. Maya. Yeah, Alexis, the negative self talk can drive you mad. But I want to tell you, I know people that won't change it. I've tried so hard to help them change it, and they won't. And that upsets me. Are you going to be one of those people? I hope not. I hope you'll finally say I'm strong enough to change this and stop playing the victim. That victim thing gets old, Amy. I'm getting laid off debating what to do next. Oh, great. Amy, I hope you do the brave thing. I hope you do the thing you've been dreaming to do. Now, I need to say this. Sometimes we want to launch a business, but the timing isn't right. We need a transition plan. I don't believe. Do what you love and the money will follow necessarily. You've got to do the right thing. It's got to be smart. You got to have a business plan and a marketing plan, and you got to Take the right transition steps. But I do believe that we are meant to pursue our dreams. Why are we having them if we don't pursue them? But we got to pursue them smart. So, Amy, I'd love to help you. All right. Friend. Francisco. Hi. I have a big project to make happen, but I'm not confident. I'm not confident I can. I feel I cannot engage people from abroad in the companies. The first, first kind of project. How can I say I can make it, Francisco? So I would ask you to think about why can't you engage people from abroad? That's a limiting belief. Do you have evidence that you can't? I would ask you to look at that. Ah. It's the first time you're doing this kind of project. Well, here's what I would do there. Find mentors who have done this kind of project. If you don't have them in your company, find them outside. For instance, you know, I don't know what kind of project it is, but I launched a course and I've got people from all over the world in the course and I launched a certification training for coaches and the first one was people all over the world, and so is the second one and I'm launching a third one. What makes you think you can't engage people? Let's look at that expectation, let's look at where it came from, let's shift it. And if you need a role model, go find someone who's doing it to give you kind of real life evidence that it's doable. Okay. You can do it. You just need to see it. We believe what we see. We believe what we see. So go find someone in your sphere doing it and watch how they're doing it. Why can't you? Alright, Ruth. Hi, Ruth. Ruth says thank you. The clarity and breakthrough came in your ACP course. Oh. When I finally had the courage to accept the corporate and the industry was not right. Ruth, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. You know, I want to bring that up. 18 years for me in corporate and from the beginning, I didn't like it. I didn't like going to the same office every day. I didn't like the politics, which I was always terrible at. I didn't like the hierarchy. I didn't like reporting to people who I thought were fools. I mean, this is how I felt. But I never for a minute thought, maybe you're not suited for the corporate world. And there's reasons for that. I won't go into that now. And also back then I'm 56 now. That was a long time ago. 30 years ago, there weren't as many independent consultants. But then I had a friend who I had hired to do market research at one of my jobs. And for eight years I watched this woman have an amazing life. She lived in Florida, Ann is her name, and she ran a million dollar market research firm. And I would look at her and say, that's the life I want. That's the life. To Francisco's point, earlier, I saw that she made it happen. I saw her life. That I could come visit her in Florida and at 3 o' clock we'd go off to the beach after she did work. And I thought, that's the life I want. But I didn't take action for years. So, Ruth, I'm so glad, I'm so glad you figured it out and you had the self confidence to trust your own judgment, your own ideas, your own abilities. I'm so happy to hear that, Alexis. How do you step outside yourself to ask others for assistance? Okay, Alexis, when your confidence is in the tank, this is exactly what a beautiful question. This is what I'm talking about. You've got to take action to get your confidence out of the tank. You don't wait till one day you magically feel better. You've got to do it now. I mean, there are things I've done that, like doing a TEDx talk. You know, I wanted to do it and then I got invited to do it and my confidence plummeted. Like, you know what happened? Let me give you an example. You know, with a TEDX talk, you have to master it verbatim. 15 minutes. That's not what I do. What I do is this talk. You know, No, I do have workshops that are planned and very planful, but I love to ask questions and be interactive. You don't do that for a TEDx talk or TED talk, it's, it's memorized and there's a cadence to it. My confidence was in the toilet in preparing for this, but I mustered myself, I said, you know what? No, I've never done a TEDx talk, but I've done hundreds of other talks, so that's, you know, ahead of the game. I'm not gonna let my confidence rock here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this thing. So, Alexis, you got to do it in the face of your confidence problem. Got it. Write to me, let me know if you understand it. Secondly, if you want an immediate boost, reach out to five people who love you. Five people. One way to get a huge boost is start writing testimonials for people on LinkedIn who you love and they will write them back for you. Or ask five people you know who love you, who have loved working with you and you know, ask. Would you be open to sharing a few, a few words about how you experience working with me and read those testimonials. Your head's going to explode. Find a way. Ask people what you know. What do you see that is special about me? What do you think my talents are? You got to get your confidence out of the tank. You got to do it. All right. I hope that's helpful. How do you, Sherry, how do you determine next step and best if a best fit if current position is, you know, Sheri, I've done a lot of videos on that. Go to my video library. How to know when to how to muster the courage to change your careers. How to know what's a good fit. My whole world is answering that question. And if you're interested, I have a course, 16 week course, the Amazing Career Project, which takes you from I don't know what I want to. I know what I want and I know how to get it. And we just had a beautiful testimonial about it. So that's my whole world. So check out AmazingCareerProject.com if you want to join that course. The next one is September and check out my whole Brave up video library and you'll get an answer to that question. Okay. Danielle, is it okay to write an affirmation that starts with I deserve? Yes, I love it, Danielle. I deserve. I deserve a beautiful life. I deserve love. I am whole. I am enough. You know, I'm not an expert on crafting affirmations. You know, I haven't written a book about it, but I feel that if you can actually say I am, that's even more powerful. I am enough. I. I'm beautiful. I am worthy of love. Even though I never had it in my childhood. I deserve it. I am whole. I am special. I think that for you right now is even better. Okay. But yeah, you do. You deserve the life that you want, but you got to go and get it. Okay. All right. Few more dia. Is that right? Dia? I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. Career change. Going from employee to entrepreneur. How to cope with the change. What steps? You know, that's a very deep question. And I would want to know what is the entrepreneurial venture? And you know, let's work together. There's a process like becoming a Coach, let me tell you, I wrote a whole e book about the 10 crippling mistakes coaches make when they first begin and they go broke. So many coaches can't make a living. So let's say you wanted an entrepreneurial venture, being a coach. There's a process, and you've got to follow it. That's why I train coaches. So many people launch things, wishful thinking, you know, sitting on their couch, popping bon bons, going, it's gonna work out. It doesn't work out unless you take the right steps. So I can't answer that because it's vague. It depends on, is it a consultancy, is it a small business? Are you launching something? Is it requiring a lot of funding? You know, do you have money in your bank account to fund this? Do you have insurance? There's, you know, I was interviewed for Oprah magazine first time. That was a milestone in April about when you should quit your job before having another. And then I wrote a Forbes book about that. But, you know, you don't want to just quit your job without another if you don't have the right things lined up, if you have no insurance and can't afford it, if you have no money in the bank. So there are steps to take. There are steps to take. But, you know, you would have to be a little more specific for me to really advise you. But don't do it unless you have a plan, transition plan. And if it's going to cost money that you have access to the funding that you need, does that help? Hope so. Lorianne. Aw, thank you for being here. I've been laid off and understand my part. Bored and long commute. Gotcha. I keep going back to this industry feeling it's what I know, but I'm bored. What an. Okay, so, Lorianne, this is 80% of what I hear every day. There's a way to break through this and there's a process. You don't want to keep going back to what you know. If you don't like it, you know, work with me. Download my free career path assessment as a start. I just heard from someone yesterday. Holy cow. I see everything differently now. You have to. It's five steps. And I talk about that in another video. Look at how to muster the courage to change careers. I talk all about that. You got to step back, let go, say yes, try it on and create it smart. There's a process. So go look at that video. But this is what I do day in and day, day out with it, with people. So if you really Want hands on help? I'm here. You let me know. Hi, Rolanda. These names are so beautiful. Hi. I'm trying to start a coaching business and trying so hard not to beat myself up. Oof. I've been out of work and. Which makes sense because I hated it. I'm not having the best of luck in my job search. Yeah. So let me go back and make sure I understand this. Trying to start a coaching business. You know, take my certification. I walk you through every step that's required. And I teach coaches how to use my amazing career project video series with their clients. I teach them what people are going to bring to them. We do role playing so that I can watch them how they're coaching. I find that so many coach training programs don't, don't do it. They don't tell you about the marketing realities, they don't tell you about the financial and business realities, and they don't teach you how to be a coach. You know, they give you some strategies and then say, go fly. Because a lot of coach training programs don't want to tell you the realities. It's really hard to make good money as a coach because today you have to be a thought leader and a content creator and you have to build a brand. So, you know, let me know if that's helpful to you. Check out my coach training, it's at certification.amazingcareerproject.com and download my four part video series, how to build, you know, a successful, rewarding coaching practice fast. It's, it's, it's powerful stuff. Four videos and my ebook. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right. Surround yourself, Donna, with people who will help you. Love it. How we doing with time? Oh, running over Adyen Ayen. Oh, beautiful. I like your lectures on various personalities. Just keep it up. All right? Thank you for that. I really appreciate that. All right, folks, I think that's it for today. These are getting longer and longer by the minute. I hope this gives you a confidence boost. I hope that you know that you deserve a beautiful life. Every human being does. Every human being deserves to create life in the image that they want it here. You just have to change some things to be able to do that. You've got to love yourself without doubt. You've got to know what your capabilities are and you've got to, if you need, if you have a power gap, you have a skill gap, do what's required to close that gap. Right? Not all of us know everything. If you don't know how to become a coach, get training. If you don't know how to launch your jewelry business on Etsy, get help. My gosh, it's out there. You can do it, but it starts with self. Believe in yourself and love yourself. See yourself the way I see you, that you're capable of doing this. Okay my friends, thanks so much for joining. I hope this was helpful. Let me know post comments, will you, on YouTube when I post it, please let me know how you find it, how it's helpful to you. I would love to hear from you. Okay my friends, I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks so much. Bye now.