Mustering the Courage To Change Careers

Hello, everybody. Sorry I came on and then I was off because of the Internet connection. Mmm, Sorry about that. Thanks for staying with me and welcome to my Brave Up Tuesday. As I was saying, it's incredible here. Spring has sprung and I'm so happy about it. Hope life is great for you wherever you are. And we are talking. Are we live? Is anybody here? Yay, Donna. Thank you. I love it when I see a person because I've actually started talking, you know, for 10 minutes and thinking it's live and it wasn't. Okay? So thank you. Appreciate it, Donna. And anyone who joins, please give me a thumbs up if I say anything that resonates. Please post your questions. This is supposed to be live. I love to interact with y', all, so. And I want to help you. This is about mustering the courage to change careers. And I want to tell you. Oh, Donna, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching it. I'm glad it was helpful. So, you know, often I know exactly what I want to talk about on these Tuesdays, but sometimes I'm very open. Nothing's burning for me. And so I'll post on LinkedIn and Facebook. Hey, what's your biggest challenge? And I got some wonderful comments and some emails and I got. I think it was Christie. Oh, no, I can't believe I don't remember Dorset, I think. Or dosett. Oh, sorry. Christy, if you're here, you. You correct me. And she said, you know, how do I muster the courage to change careers? And this is what I deal with every day, sometimes every minute of every day. So it's hard to do this justice in a half hour. But I want to throw some things out there for you. If you're here and you do not like your job and you do not like your career and, you know, you want something else, but you don't have the courage to change. Okay, anybody out there say, yeah, that's me. So let me start. You know, if you've ever watched anything of mine or worked with me, you know, I don't love to stay on the superficial level. When you're talking a career, this is my view. This is what you do in the world. This is how you show up and be of service in the world. It's important. It's a big deal and we want to get it right. So I'm not going to skirt around and talk superficially. I'm going to talk about what's underneath the desire to do something more exciting, more juicy, more impactful, more rewarding in your Career. So the first thing I want to ask you is, what is a happy life to you? What's a happy life? You know, outline it, write it down, and even if you don't have it and it's a thousand steps away from you, what is it? You know, I've been with enough people who are at the end of their lives. I watched my beloved dad, who it's going to be four years this May that he passed away and he died of cancer and had dementia. You know, when you're with people at the end of life, you see what's really important in life. And I gotta tell you, what we mess around with most of us is not the stuff that. Mmm, definitely is not the stuff that stays with you at the end of your life. It's not that big promotion, it's not that big raise, it's not. It's not the outer stuff. It's the stuff of your heart, the stuff of your soul, the stuff of your spirit. Who do you want to be in this world and what impact do you want to make? That's the question. And also, what is your special brand of a happy life? Like what I think is necessary for me to be happy isn't at all perhaps what you would want. I love working from home. I love my own business. After 18 years in corporate, for me, the answer was to get out and to build a career and a business that was mine, that I could shape, that I could be the leader of, that I could make the decisions about. That's happiness to me. What's happiness to you? So before we talk about mustering the courage to change careers, you gotta answer these questions. And I say this all, every video, I have a survey that you should take. You won't get a score. It's for you to understand yourself. And it's on my website, Kathy Caprino.com and you can find it just when you go to the homepage, you'll see it. Sign up for it or you can find it@kathy caprino.com free assessment. It's my career path assessment. You got to answer these questions. And if I had answered them 30 years ago, I wouldn't have made the mistakes I made. I promise you that. So what is the happiest life for you? Why do you want to change careers? What are you looking for? Secondly, I think his name is Simon Sinek. Talked about what's your why? So in this case, I'm going to talk about your why. About why do you want to change careers? What is it that's Missing. So, you know, this is such an important question to ask because so often it's toxicity in your job. You hate your boss, your colleagues are backstabbing. It's a toxic environment. And you think I gotta change careers because you've been in so much pain. I ask you to think about that because this is what I know to be true. If you've had toxicity, everywhere you go, the common denominator is you. It's what you are creating. I don't mean that you're toxic. I mean that your boundaries aren't sufficient for you to protect yourself and not even get attracted to toxicity. So for you, if toxicity is what you're running from, oh, I hate what I've got. I'm going to change my career. I got to tell you, you got to deal with the toxicity now in your current situation, if you do not, then the next job and even the next career is going to be fraught with toxicity. Fraught with crappy people hurting you. Fraught with you being not recognized, you not being supported, you being passed over. You got to deal with those issues now or they will repeat. So know what your why is? Why do you want to change your career if it is? I'm not doing work that lights me up. I'm not doing work that I know I'm meant to. I'm not doing work that leverages who really am. Now we're talking this. That's a great reason to change your career. So before I talk about mustering the courage to do it, thank you for that. I love those. I want to talk about why people find it so scary. Why? So I'm going to tell you the biggest reasons I see. I'm going to list them and then talk about them. Money. I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything. I make 100,000 now or 50,000 now, and I'm going to lose everything. 2. I don't have the time. Some people feel that they're too old, actually, or they have kids and they don't have time to kind of do the process. The third is I'm going to fail. I'm desperately afraid I'm going to fail. The fourth is confidence. I don't really have the confidence to do this. My confidence has been rocked. I've been laid off. I've been fired. I've been passed over. The fourth is change. I'm afraid of change. I hate where I'm at. I'm unhappy, but I'm scared to death. Of what? I don't know. Two others. Support I don't really have the support to do this. I don't know what to do. I have no idea how to go about it. And I have a story about that. And the last one is this. I'm just not good enough. I don't really deserve a happy. I don't deserve it. I'm not good enough. So if you're here and you're hearing it and one of these resonates with you, I'd love to see. I'd love to see a thumbs up. So I know I'm talking, talking to people. So let's talk about it. If you do this right, if you change careers in the right way, and let me tell you, there's a wrong way, I did it, I've done it. I've done all the wrong things and then I've learned from them and now I teach the right things and now I follow the right path. But if you do it the right way, you don't have to lose everything. You don't have to lose money. It's not going to have to take five years. It's actually going to build your confidence. Confidence comes from doing. It's not an internal thing that you're born with. It comes from doing the scary thing that you're, you know, that you would say, wow, if I could do that, I can do anything. People that start to do that kind of stuff really build incredible confidence that doesn't get rocked by. I've been laid off. They understand why they were laid off. And part of it was they hated their job, perhaps. All right, support. I have a story for you. Two things. There have been two recent times in my life where I said I have a goal and I have no idea how to do it. One was losing some weight. Another was writing a screenplay idea that I've had for years that I just couldn't do. I couldn't get it get off the ground both times. One, the screenwriting is in a very early stages and the losing weight. It's been a two year process that I've kept off the £15 and now I'm going for 10 more. How did I do it? I got help. I hired for the weight issue a nutritionist because I didn't want to go on a little diet. I didn't truthfully didn't want to go on Weight Watchers or nutrisystem. I wanted to change how I operate with food because I know that if I go on a Weight Watchers and then get off in six months, I'm going to Go right back. That didn't work for me. That doesn't work for me. So thank you. I love it. I love the hearts. So I went to an amazing nutritionist and that's what she helped me do, reinvent my relationship with food. And my gosh, did I see how I was using food for, for emotion. And you know, while it's not perfect right now, my goodness, I've come a long way in understanding when do I eat. And it's usually when I'm frustrated or when I'm scared. If I've told someone off and I'm scared, I'm down there in the kitchen eating chocolate, right? Anybody resonate? So I got help and the help was transformational. And with the screenwriting, I don't know how to do it. So I'm in week four of working with an amazing coach, Bruce Gelfand in la. And you know, I'm right at a point where, gosh, do I need more help? You know, I got through some of the first assignments swimmingly, but now, now the rubber is meeting the road and I need help. So that's why you hire help. So, you know, this is not a pitch for you to hire me. However, you'll need help to change your career. You will, you'll need a coach, you'll need a, or a mentoring, a mentor or an accountability buddy. You're going to need help. So, you know, make sure that you get that. Okay. All right. So those fears that you have, I am telling you, when you do it the right way, and I'm going to give you a five step model for changing your career the right way. You don't have to risk everything. You got to get going. The one that is the trickiest, however, the one block, the one thing that keeps you stuck is I'm not good enough. That. Oh yeah. Oh, Donna, thank you, my dear. Appreciate it though I'm not good enough piece that you're gonna need a lot of help with. And I bring it up because you've heard me mention this. I started a group thriving after narcissism on Facebook group. I think we're at 1700 members. It grows a lot of members every day. I believe that there is so much narcissism out there that we are experiencing in our families with narcissistic parents. And even if they're not full blown narcissists, there's a lot of emotional manipulation, there's a lot of emotional abuse. If you've had that, you often grow up not believing and not knowing that you are good enough. And it's an epidemic. I mean, it's 80% of every course I give, whether it's at a university or, you know, in my own courses, or if it's at workshops or conferences with women leaders. I see signs of women saying, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to have the life I want. I'm not good enough to do this. If that's you, that needs help, and often that needs therapeutic help. So, you know, let me know if this resonates with you. I can give you some resources. You are good enough and you are smart enough. I just talked to someone yesterday who said there was a person in her life that told her she was stupid. Okay? Anybody who's in your life telling you you're stupid, that relationship should be over. It's what you tolerate. It's what you to. Are you going to tolerate someone telling you you're stupid, you're worthless, you're horrible, you're ugly. Why would you tolerate that? Because you think you're not good enough? So that's my little soapbox for that. You need to stop. In fact, I just wrote it today in a post, not a post, in response to someone on this Facebook page. I had written on Forbes that there is a growing intolerance of the nonsense. Thanks, everybody. Of the nonsense that's going on in organizations, Crappy leadership, toxic bosses, no clear vision, no path for your growth. And this person said, well, how do I tolerate it until I can leave? You don't tolerate it. You're done tolerating it. That's the point. You need to brave up. You need to see yourself bravely, speak bravely, challenge bravely, ask bravely. You need to connect bravely and love yourself bravely. No more tolerating the nonsense. That's why you need to change careers. You're done with the nonsense. Okay? And you are good enough and you are smart enough. All right, all right. Now let me give you the five step model that I use that I hope will help you change your career. Okay? The very first thing is you got to step back for an empowered perspective of who you are and what you have to offer. We many of us, you know, if you've watched these videos, you know, I had an 18 year corporate career, marketing, membership services, publishing, and it used a lot of my talents. But I hated. I hated it. Mostly there were periods I didn't and periods. It was good. But in general, I felt like, is this really what I'm going to be doing for my living? Oh, and I really hated toxic environments, sexual harassment, discrimination, feeling chronically ill, being chronically ill, no work life balance. It was a mess, right. What I needed to do. And I went to a career counselor and we. He gave me a battery of assessment tests. And he came out and said, well, the good news. And they were, I don't know, it was a thousand dollars. And he came out and said, well, good news, you're in the right place. You know, marketing is the right place for you. No, it isn't. What a waste of a thousand dollars. So what I needed was to step back and look at everything I'd ever been from age 14 on. What did I love? What was I talented at? How did I stand out? What did people come to me for to understand who I really was from the beginning? And what were those talents and skills? Maybe I hadn't nurtured them, but what was of interest back then? So that you can connect the dots. And I've said in other videos, you know, I was a writer. I was in English. I loved books. You know, I loved Dickens and Emily Bronte, and I was just obsessed with books. I was a competitive tennis player, so I liked competition. I like to be kind of on the frontier of pushing myself. I loved the idea of psychology, what makes people tick. Right. I love to be on stage as a singer. It's who I am. So start there. A lot of people say, well, you know, I wasn't rocking it at 14 and 15 and 16 and 18. So don't, don't take this literally. It doesn't have to be when you were 16, when you were in a period of time in your life where you were rocking it, what were you displaying about yourself? What was your spirit? What were you showing? You know, I guess the question is, why did you come here on the planet at this time? Why? What do you have to offer the world? So we step back and we look at the empowered perspective of you, and you often need another person to do that. It's very hard. Just when you hate your job, when you've just been laid off, when you're getting your confidence rocked, it's very hard to look at who you really are at your highest and best. But you're in there. You're there. The second thing is to let go. I would say right now, in this moment, this. Of the five steps, this one and the fourth one is the most critical that most people don't do. So you got to let go of the thinking patterns and behaviors that are keeping you stuck. Let go how do you figure those out? It's everything that isn't working in your life, and particularly look at what is repeating. If you have always had a toxic boss, you. You gotta look at why there's so much toxicity in your life, and it's probably from your childhood. You're used to it. You were put down. You couldn't speak up. You didn't recognize it. You know, a lot of children, adult children and narcissists hook into lousy relationships, painful, mistreating relationships, because that's what they had and that's what they expect. They don't know how to protect themselves. So what else are you going to let go of that you can't speak up? Wonderful woman said to me on LinkedIn, I hope you join me on LinkedIn. I love it. She said, I know that I need to network with others. She said something like this. I know that that's what's going to help me, but I feel like it's cheating. I feel like other people opening the door for me is cheating. How do I get over that? Again, these are things you have to let go of. We need people in our lives to move forward, to be, to reach our highest dreams. We can't do it alone. We cannot do it alone. So you need people. If you're afraid, if you're an introvert and hate networking, if you think networking is cheating, you got to let all that go. I'm not saying you should let your introversion go. I'm saying there are many ways that introverts can network very powerfully. I've written about it. I interviewed Dori Clark about it. There's books about it. You've got to let go of the ways that you sabotage yourself. So if this woman continued to say, you know, networking is cheating, she's just cutting her legs off at the knees. You got to let it go. And you have got to be powerful now and muster more courage to be who you really are in the world. This is why you're not moving forward. This is why you're not changing your career. Okay? So you got to let go of the thinking patterns and behaviors that keep you stuck. And I think you can see what those are by looking at what's repeating. And what you know is an idea that's holding you back, but you can't seem to change it. Excuse me. All right. The third step is to say yes to your most compelling visions. And I want to talk about this. The mistake I see thousands of people make every year is, is they'll write to me. And let's say they're a sales manager and they want to be a writer. So in their mind, I want to be a writer, but I can't change my career to be a writer. So I guess I can't be anything. Writers write. Speakers speak, singers sing, dancers dance. If you really are a writer, you're going to write. You're going to write at night after you get home from your sales manager job. Writers write. And true writers don't just write because they think they're going to make $100,000 with their book. It doesn't happen. The vast majority of writers don't make money. If that's why you're writing, you got it. That's not a writer. That's fantasizing. I'm not saying you can't make money writing. I'm saying if that's why you're going into it, you're going to be unhappy. So if you really want to write, there's a fellow, Mario McCracken, who's on LinkedIn. He's in sales, and he's a beautiful writer, and he does his job beautifully. But he's a beautiful writer. His blog is awesome. Check it out. So say yes to your most compelling visions, but don't be in denial about what they're going to demand of you. So there's a great book, the E Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber, and he talks all about the fatal, fatal assumption of entrepreneurs and small business owners who go into business thinking because they have a technical skill. Like, I love to bake. They'll love running a business that offers baking. They're two incredibly different things. You don't want to make that mistake. You want to really understand what it is you want what it is you want to bring forward. And then you want to take the next step, which is the fourth step in my model. Trying it on. So, so many people have a fantasy. I want to start a bed and breakfast. I want to be a wedding planner. I want to be a motivational speaker. I want to write a series of children's books. But they actually don't try it on in any physical way. And you have to try it on behavior behaviorally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially. It's not enough to look at someone else and say, I want to do what they're doing. You know, I've had people write me and I've said this to other people. I want to do what you're doing. Well, many people don't understand the actual reality of what their fantasy is doing. So you know, for instance, running a coaching and consulting practice and speaking and writing, they look at it from afar and say, wow, that looks that, that's me. I want to be that. But they actually don't know what the professional identity is of it. Thank you, thank you for the thumbs up. You have got to try it on, shadow people doing it and open your eyes to that. Volunteer, take on a new project at work, offer yourself as a consultant, try on the identity of it and I promise you maybe 50% of the ideas that you have when you do my career path assessment and it says, what have you thought of doing and what are you fantasizing about doing? More than 50% of those ideas you don't really want to do, they just sound good. And you need to understand the why behind that. Like I want to stop everything and sail around the world. Do you really want to sail around the world for a year? Why? What is the reason behind that? What's it going to give you that you don't have? And let's say you can't afford to do that. There are other ways. Let's say it's a certain kind of travel that you're hankering for. Find a way to do that thing, but in an affordable way. Maybe it's not a year sailing around the world, maybe it's a week, you know, not sailing around the world, but pick two places and sail there, Right? It's all within your reach. But so many people don't take these steps and so they sabotage their process of making change. And the final step that you gotta have is you gotta commit to it with small, smart goals. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound goals. And you need an accountability partner. Like this screenplay I'm writing. If I didn't have Bruce in my corner, you know, I was on a real roll and then some. I had to do some travel, there was some personal stuff going on in my family and I kind of fell off the wagon of it. It's hard to get back on. But I'm having a meeting with him Thursday, so I've, I've got to do my homework assignment and I promise you I wouldn't be doing this if he weren't in my corner. So you need an accountability buddy, somebody who you're going to feel like you're letting down if you fall off and stop doing this because how are we doing with time? I'm yakking up a storm here. Woo. Half hour. Because here's the deal. Changing your life, changing your relationships. Changing your career, it's not easy. It's not just gonna fall in your lap, but my gosh, it's so rewarding. It's, it's life changing. I mean, I look at who I was in my most unhappy in my corporate life, I'm not the same person. And you won't be either when you brave up and muster the courage to change your career. So that was a lot of info. Who's got a question? I really want your questions. Yeah, you know, is it failing? Do what you love, Love what you do. You know, I love that. I totally love it. But I want to say there's a sentence. Do what you love and the money will follow. I want to tell you, not necessarily. You got to do the right things to make, to monetize what you love. I see a ton of people doing what they love and going broke. So it isn't just do what you love and the money will follow. I know you didn't say that, but I want to make this point. You got to do it right. You got to learn how to leverage your abilities to make money. You have to be of service and fulfill a need for other people and that's what will generate money. So a lot of people say, you know, the heck with this. I tried and it's a failure. I went broke. Well, there's some other things you need to do to actually monetize your, your gifts, and a lot of people aren't doing that. Alright, who's got a question? I love to answer questions. All right. Oh, I do appreciate it, Lori. You shared the video. I'm so grateful for that. Thank you. Oh, my little note from Facebook said this is the most liked live video yet. Woohoo. Thank you for that, folks. Thanks so much. So can I answer a question? I don't want to hang up. I don't want to stop. Ooh, here's a question. Can you speak on that? Yeah. Monetizing your gift. I will. It's a great topic, Donna. Thank you. And Meline, these names are so beautiful. Can you elaborate on the accountability, partner? Okay, sure. Let's say you want to change careers, you know, the, the best. But this, I don't want this to sound like an ad is you find someone. Let me talk to you about coaching and a coach for a minute. People hire coaches now. Things have changed. It used to be you could hire a life Coach, you know, 10 years ago, I don't know. I've got a problem with a relationship. I've got a problem with weight. I'VE got a problem with whatever and you'd hire a life coach. Those days are gone. What people want, their money is precious to them. And what they want is to hire someone who not only can is, is a super coach, but also has done what you're wanting to do. And I've gone the other way and had coaches who couldn't help me with, with what I hired them to do and it's a waste of money. So, for instance, I won an award, make mine a million dollar business award, where I got free access to coaching and you could choose from a number of coaches. I had three coaches. Not one of them could help me do what I wanted to do, which was make a million dollars from where I was. You don't want to hire coaches who. This is my take. You don't want to hire a coach to do something and they've never done it. That's my take. So if you want, for instance, a career transformation coach, you want someone who's changed their career, knows what it is like to help you do it. And the way you do it is not the way I would do it or someone else, but they have a model for change. So if you're going to change careers, I think a career coach is the best accountability partner. But let's say you don't want to do that. You want to find someone in your life either a mentor who's 10 steps ahead of you, who has done what you want to do. Let's say you want to leave the corporate life and you want to be a consultant. You want to be a marketing or sales consultant. What you want to do is find someone in your life who you've already demonstrated your potential to, who can be a mentor, who can be your accountability buddy, who you can say, listen, I'm really. In the next six months, I want to leave this corporate job and I want to become a consultant. And you are rocking it as a consultant. Could I get some of your mentoring help? And you don't. I have another video on how to get a mentor. You don't, you know, reach out to a stranger and say, will you be my mentor? It's got to be someone who. To whom you've already demonstrated your potential. But you need someone who's going to meet with you regularly, speak with you regularly, help you with tasks to move you forward, and who will be there when you fall off. Like, I didn't do that. I didn't do that task. I'm scared. I know you said I should reach out on LinkedIn. To 20 people doing this. I didn't do it. Your accountability buddy has to help you. Why didn't you do it? Not beat you up, not. Not smack you over the head. But what's going on that you can't do this, even though you know it's something that's helpful. Let's look at that. They keep you accountable. That's what you need. And you need that if you want to change careers. Was that helpful? I hope so. All right. Oh, I love it. Let me. Let me see. Toxic relationships can harm you, but how do you let go of a particularly negative family? Amelie. Oh, it's a beautiful name. All right. A negative family probably has some narcissism in it. Go check. You're welcome. Go check out my Thriving after Narcissism Facebook group. Narcissism is. And you can look up what is a narcissistic personality disorder. I've written about it. I've written several Forbes posts, a lot of. A lot on it. You can search Kathy Caprio, Narcissism, and you'll find it narcissism. I'm bringing it up because people don't know what narcissism is. And so often the toxicity and negativity is a narcissist. Narcissists have zero empathy. They are not accountable for their actions. They. They make you wrong. They can't be challenged. I have found they are often very charismatic. They're often leaders of countries and organizations because they look very charismatic and strong, but they can't be challenged. When they're challenged, they become bullies, and they can drum you out with a murderous rage. And for many narcissists, you're never good enough. And they call it the narcissistic supply. Narcissists need their ego to be fed at all times. Does this sound. Does this sound familiar, Amelie? Am I pronouncing that correctly? So there are ways. You. There are steps. And if you have narcissism in your family, join this group and you'll see the support is unbelievable. People are going no contact, which means they're cutting off their family. They're having limited contact. They. They're building stronger boundaries. They're saying no. They're getting out of toxic relationships. You have to build a boundary to protect yourself from negativity, even if it's your brother, even if it's your mother. You need boundaries. And as an adult, you have the right to say no. I hope that's helpful. There's so much written about it. Let me know if you need some more help. Ooh. Thank you, Laura. All right, Gail. Oh, Lori, let me answer this. A few more minutes. What if you have a dream, a vision, but when you start, you become paralyzed? Then you need help. You need help. You need a coach. You need an accountability buddy. It's very common to be paralyzed because you're scared, because you're. It's unknown territory because you don't know if you're good at it. Let me talk about fear for a minute. People that are achieving amazing lives and creating amazing lives walk through the fear. It's not that they don't have fear. Like the first time, when I was laid off in my corporate life and, you know, I decided I was going to become a therapist. The first day that I went to my first master's program class, my stomach was so upset, I almost wanted to turn around and drive home. I was 41. I'm too old. What if I can't study anymore? What if I fail? What am I doing? I was so scared. But I made myself go. And I walk into the class, and half the class is over 40. And three years later, I pass with distinction. You got to walk through the fear. And if you can't, you need help, Lori. You need help. You need a coach, maybe a therapist. You need someone to help you get through the fear. But we can't have an amazing life if we stop because we're afraid. Okay. Hope that helps a few more. Gail. Gail Chapman. Hi. I struggle to make decisions about my future, especially in relation to a career change. I'm terrified of losing money and wasting time and feeling paralyzed. Yep. Let me see more. So, you know, let me tell you this. If we were working together, I wouldn't make you wrong about that. I'd make you right. You're terrified. Let's look at why. When I look at people who are terrified about money, there's almost always trauma around money in their life. You tell me, Gayle, give me a hands up if I'm right. Either they came from a background where money was scarce or. Or I've had people that, you know, had fathers or mothers that made a lot of money and then lost a lot of money, and there was trauma. You have. If you're terrified, look at the word that you use. You're not just a little afraid. You're terrified. You've got to heal your relationship with money. And that relationship formed in childhood. It formed in what you saw about how your parents and significant others and authority figures dealt with money. So if you were working with me, for instance, I would stop what you're doing and help you work on your relationship with money. What terrifies you? Are you terrible with money, or are you good with money? But do you, you know, in the end, do you want money to be the thing that keeps you from living the life you want? We've got to help you heal that relationship with money. Two great books. The Energy of Money by Maria Nemeth. I'll link to it. Everyone should read this book, everyone on the planet. It's a guidebook for life. But it takes you through your money story. Why you feel what you do, where there's shame, where there's fear, why you're terrified. There's a reason we don't pop out of the chute terrified about losing money. There's a reason then. The second book is Tapping into Wealth by Margaret Lynch. Margaret talks about a tapping technique. Excuse me. It's a therapeutic technique where when people are terrified around money, it's usually lodged in their energy system. And that doesn't change just by talking about it. You actually have to release the block. And her book talks, shows videos. I mean, links to videos, and gives you incredible. It's an amazing book, helping you release the trauma around money. So that's the deal. You. You have a problem in your relationship with money. Does that sound right, Gail? I hope that's helpful. All right. Okay. If you're Sharon, I'm reading. Hi, Sharon. About being paralyzed by indecision. You need help. You're not going to. You're not going to do that by yourself. You need someone who's able to look at why you're paralyzed and help you see why. There's reasons. Money, time, failure, confidence, change, support. You're not good enough. You know, one thing that's really important is you've got to understand your special brand of paralyzed. You might be paralyzed because you were always told you couldn't do anything right. Maybe you had that kind of childhood. Or another person is paralyzed. Because I was paralyzed. My parents said you can do whatever you. You know, you're. You're smart, you're talented. I was paralyzed because I felt like I had to deliver a lot of money to the family. And that was my burden. And I felt like. I'm gonna be honest. I felt like a prostitute. Like, I'm. I'm gonna make a lot of money, but I'm always gonna hate it. That's how I felt. Well, that was my mishigas, my nonsense. We have to understand the special brand of your paralysis because there's a reason. Here's another fun thing that'll help. I have an action style quiz. There are six dominant action styles that human beings follow to take action towards a goal. Striver, seeker, pacer, researcher, and challenger. I realize I was a striver all my professional life because I felt like I had to do it so much. Striving so much. I gotta get ahead, I gotta make money. And a lot of this was I learned in childhood. When I finally got laid off, I realized I'm not a striver, I'm a seeker. I want to learn. I want my life to be fluid. If I want to go to Greece in September and deliver a retreat, which I am, check it out. Light from the dawn.com and I want to pick up and go and then I want to go to London the week before and stay with my friends. That's what I want to do. I don't want to be so striving so hard on this path that someone else gives me. Well, I had to learn why. Why had I become such a striver when really I'm a seeker? So you've got to learn your special reason for why you're paralyzed. And I can help you. All right, what else? One more fantastic. Oh, I love it. Monetizing gifts. I believe the most gifted people with skills doing what they love and struggling with it needs to master. Yeah, yeah. I'm surrounded by artists, musicians, writers, incredibly talented people that don't know how to monetize. And I believe that the biggest key is you need to be of service. It can't be a self congratulatory thing that you wrote a book. Be of service. With what you're doing. If you come from that place, you'll make money. That's my tip. All right, folks. Wow. Oh, goalie. Oh, I remember. Oh, so nice to see you. Thank you for being here. I'm so glad. All right, folks, we could go on for hours. I'm so grateful that you're here. I hope that this answered your questions. You know, to be honest, I find it challenging to be specifically helpful to everyone when I don't know your special brand of stock. But I'm doing my best here to give you specific feedback and actionable strategies that are going to help you move forward. You know where I am. All of these videos are now live on my website, Kathy Caprino.com braveupvideos so you can see the library. I think there are 22 of them now. I'm going to keep going for as long as it's of service to you and do feel free to write on this Facebook page any other topics that you want me to cover. And I I read every single comment. I might not be able to respond personally, but your feedback means the world to me. So I hope it was helpful. And thank you so much for being here and your great comments. Love to you. Enjoy Spring and I'll see you next Tuesday. Alrighty. Bye now.