Kathy Caprino published a book in 2008 expecting clients and speaking gigs, then hit the recession with no demand. She learned that building something isn't enough: you need perspective, a worthy vision, and aligned action with a real plan.
Chapters
Hi, I'm Kathy Caprino. I am the president of Elia Communications, a women's career coaching and marketing consulting firm dedicated to helping women achieve breakthrough. I'm here today with the next installment of my new project, My 52 Mistakes, which is a social media project designed to provide an open forum for women to explore the biggest mistakes they feel they've made in their lives and share the powerful lessons they've learned and the insights they've gained from making these mistakes. So today I'm talking about my mistake number two, which is believing the myth of build it and they will come. This mistake really wreaked a great deal of havoc on my whole world, my financial world, my relationships, my business. It really did quite a number on my life. And you know, I'm still coming out of the effects of that. But here's the backdrop of it. Some of you may know I had an 18 year corporate career. It was on the outside, very successful, on the inside it wasn't. And I had a lot of challenges and bumps along the way. Those bumps and challenges turned into full blown crises. And in the days following 9 11, I was laid off in a way that was brutal to my ego. And I said, the heck with this, I'm reinventing. And I became a marriage and family therapist and a coach and I began giving talks to women around where I live in Connecticut. And what I noticed was that nine out of ten working women were as miserable as I had been. And I said, I really, really want to be part of the solution here. So that launched me into the phase of researching a book that took a year and the writing of the book took a year and the book is now out breakdown, breakthrough. And here's what happened when that book launched. September 08. At the same time I was pursuing that endeavor, I was also going through spiritual development process. I was looking at all my beliefs about why we're here and what it means to create a fulfilling life. And you know, how do we make our visions a reality and what is the greater meaning and purpose of it all, all of these questions. And of course I encountered the Law of Attraction, the book the Secret and all the writings around the Secret. And while I had discernment and realized this seems like a deep oversimplification, truthfully I bought it a little bit. I bought the idea that if you have an intensely powerful positive focus on a vision, you can make it happen. So when my book launched, I said to myself, I'm going to have a very full career coaching practice. I'm going to be speaking all over the country, and I'm going to have a very full pipeline of women who wish to have career coaching. And you know what? September 08 was the beginning of the recession. And it didn't happen. It absolutely didn't happen at all. So, you know, the real mistake is not having positive thinking. That's fine. It's not taking action, you know, hanging on to your belief. No, they will come. I built it. They will come. Just hanging on to that belief and not revising yourself, not changing your strategies, not looking at your business model, not saying, wow, what isn't working? And why isn't this connecting and bringing about the prosperity that I'm needing and wanting and the fulfillment and the activity that I want? So, you know, I waited. I waited way too long. I went through tons of money. Let's try this. Let's launch this. A friend of mine said, you're like a hummingbird going from thing to thing. But it wasn't the right kind of action. It wasn't inspired aligned action. So. So here's what I learned from believing the myth of build it and they will come. There are four key, key steps to bringing about change. And you've got to take these steps, and you've got to take all of these steps. Number one, step back for an empowered perspective. What is happening and why? Don't just resist what's happening, Manage to the constraints of it. What can I learn about what's happening and how can I shift? That's step one. Step two, let go of the thinking patterns and behaviors that are keeping you stuck. I really believe this. If we want to launch to the next level, we can't do it being the person we are this minute. We have to let go of the things and actions that are holding us back in the thinking. We have to let go. And number three, we have to certainly identify the compelling vision that we have. We have to say yes to it, but we also have to feel worthy of it. We have to be ready for it. So say yes to your compelling visions and open yourself for the readiness of it and doing what it takes to be ready. And the fourth step is create it. And this is it. You have to take action, but not just any action. Not action out of fear, not action out of desperation, not action out of fierce competitiveness. Not action out of resentment or jealousy or rage, but aligned action. And one way to do that is create a smart plan. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. And all along the way, as you take action, look at what's working and look at what isn't and manage to those constraints. So that's what I learned. So in the end is a build it and they will come mentality. Important. Sure. Have it. Believe in yourself. Know that you came here to be all you can be. But make sure you're taking action every day. Ah. And there's a wonderful lesson within that. There's a great book called the Energy of Money by Maria Nemeth. And she talks about the six energy forms in life. Money, time, vitality, contribution, creativity, joy. And what she says is this. If we. If we think about ideas or the metaphysical realm, it's pure ideas and ideas sparkle and they have light energy. Right. When you think of an idea that of something that you really want. I want to write a book. I want to launch a business. Oh, the idea is so light, airy. But then try launching that into the physical world. The energy is different. It's dense energy. And you know what? It's not easy. It's not easy to have what you want. It's challenging. It takes energy and perseverance and faith. Right. And a lot of action. So she talks about, Maria talks about. Don't metaphyszle. Don't just think that because you have the idea, that's enough to create it. You need aligned action that's inspired, that's also free of driven behavior, addictive, driven, perfectionistic behavior. So that's my lesson. Those are my lessons about believing the myth. Build it and they will come. I hope that's been useful to you. I would love it if you would share your thoughts. And I've created a new Facebook page for this project called My 52 Mistakes. Please come join it. Like it? Add your comments. Do you have a build it and they will come mentality? Has it worked? Has it not worked? What have you learned? And you can also visit my site@eliacommunications.com blog where these posts will be available as well. Thank you so much for sharing and many happy breakthroughs.
