Imposter Syndrome is a Wakeup Call to True Purpose with Alli Rizacos

Foreign. Welcome to the live Better Sell Better podcast with your host, Kevin Dorsey of Inside Sales Excellence, the number one Patreon group and YouTube channel for tech sellers and tech sales leaders, where we dive in deep for tactical advice on how to book more meetings, close more deals faster, and lead sales teams to success. But we don't stop there. We also focus on the person in salesperson. We talk about mindset, goals, time management, and so much more. So thank you for listening and if you're interested, head on over to patreon.com InsideSalesExCexcellence now with that, grab a notepad, get ready, and let's dive into the good stuff. But first, a quick shout out to today's sponsor, Vidyard. If you aren't using video in your sales process, I promise you, you are leaving money on the table. I personally have been using Vidyard with my teams for years now and we use it every everywhere. Top of funnel to book more meetings via email and LinkedIn. Middle of funnel to improve show rates, to demos, post demos to do proposals and follow up and close deals faster. Using video allows you to connect better with your prospects, bring your personality, energy and enthusiasm across every single time, and they have a much more impactful and memorable experience for your buyer. So again, if you're not using video, you need to be. And if you are using video, you should be using vidyard. Check out Vidyard.com and with that, let's get back to the show. What up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the live Better Sell Better podcast. This is your host, Kevin Dorsey, AKA kd. And I could not be more excited about the topic we have today because it's around something that we don't talk about nearly enough. And I think a lot of people assume they're the only ones that feel, feel it. And the topic is imposter syndrome. This. This feeling in our gut, our stomach, our chest when we want to do something but we feel like we shouldn't or we feel like our opinion won't be heard or we feel like we can't ask for that raise or ask for the promotion. And we tend to be our own worst enemies and we hold ourself back as opposed to moving ourselves forward. And I'm so excited to have Ali Rosakos with us today because Ali and I actually go back quite a few years, right? She was working with the big boys, right? She's right. Salesforce High performer, manager. Then she goes into the startup world leading teams there with the small shops and building teams and Then finally something happened and she went out on her own. She leaned into her own fears, her own insecurities and went out and is creating her dream life. In fact, right now she is where I want to be, which is in Costa Rica doing what she loves, helping other people. So we are going to dive into imposter syndrome. Taking the leap, going out on your own and so much more. Ali, welcome to the show.

Thanks, Ben. What a great intro. I'm like so pumped about talking about it because you made it sound so exciting.

I've been told that's the only reason guests show up now is they just, I want the intro, Katie. I want the intro. And then after that, like, we're done. So. No, I think this is really, really exciting. You know, I've followed your journey for a while and then it took a turn. All of a sudden it took a turn, right, in terms of your career pathing and everything. So let's go back just a little bit, right, because you were, you were working for, you know, Salesforce and then you went into the startup world and now you went on your own. How long did you know you wanted to go solo? Like, how long was that kind of in the back of your head?

So the, the not so secret. I talk about it a little bit, but the real story is that it's been in the back of my mind for like at least seven years. So when I was at Salesforce in my second, second year of being at Salesforce, so I was an AE at the time and I was kind of feeling lost. I was kind of like, you know that the second you. You're not, you like have a bad month in sales, you're like, is sales for me, right? You have the freak out moment. So bad happened to me for a couple months and through total just like synchronicity and serendipity, I end up finding a coach which was this is like in 2013, didn't even know what a coach was, had no idea. But I was just like, listen, if this person can help me, I'm down. And so that's how I originally found coaching. And from being coached, I fell in love with coaching. And the second I fell in love with coaching, I was like, this is what I want to do with my life, right? But I'm still at big boy Salesforce, right? Like, I'm still in the machine and I still recognize that I still had a lot to learn, right? So as much as I knew, I had that, this dream that I wanted to someday go out on my own and build this incredible life. I still knew that I had, you know, a journey at Salesforce, but so I stayed in Salesforce for six more years and then as you said, I left to do the startup thing for about a year or 16 months or whatever it was and then made the leap. So this has been in the making, like in my subconscious for a very long time.

So a seven year overnight success. And I put success. Yes, exactly. Because we'll talk about kind of the defining moment there, but actually I think this, this leads in very well. We'll get into imposter syndrome right out the gate here because you said something that I think holds a lot of people back initially when they want to make a leap in anything, right? Whether that's a job or a career change, relationships, whatever else is, they sometimes can over rely on learning, right? We tell ourselves, you know, I need to learn a little bit more. You'll learn a little bit more before I do this thing, right? So how did you make that leap from feeling like you had to learn more to, you know what, I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to make this leap.

So a couple things happened. So the pandemic obviously, right, which you know, gave us all like way more time in our lives because one of the big reasons, you know, while I was, while I was at Salesforce, I. There was periods of time where I had some private clients. But most of the time I did it because obviously you're, you know, you don't have enough time in your day to like be a full time leader and take on private clients. Like it was just going to be too much, right? So, but then the pandemic happened and we're all, you know, stuck at home. And you know, I'm in Toronto, not currently, but I was in Toronto and everything was locked down for a really long time. So like we have nothing to do. And so I started the coaching thing kind of came back up for me, right? I was kind of like, all right, you know, I haven't thought about this dream in a while. Like I guess I have time. Like why don't I start? I just actually had the thought, I didn't say it out loud. I said, why don't I start trying to get private clients again, right? And so that happened in my mind, not even out loud. I kind of set an intention and then at the same time I looked at. So it was head of enablement and which is very project based role, right? So you kind of look at your projects for the year and we were in, you know, yearly planning at the time because this was like, February, right? And I was looking at these projects, and I was like, to your point, right? Like, am I going to learn? Right? And of course I would have learned, right? These projects would have been, you know, a learning opportunity. But I said to myself, but what's the learning opportunity if I did this coaching thing, right? And that was just like a hundred X, right? And, you know, I said to myself, am I going to be happier, you know, on December 31st if I complete these projects at this company or if I make this leap and start this dream, even if it doesn't work out or whatever happens, like, which one? Am I going to be way more happy and not regret? And the obvious decision was the second one. But what happened in the meantime, which is kind of crazy, is so I set that intention in my head that I wanted to get clients. I'm not even shitting you. Sorry. I think we can swear. A week later, I get a text message from a random number. Not on my phone, right? Just random number. And it's like, hey, my name is Blank. I work with so and so you actually probably know him because he's in the sales world, and he told me that you're a coach, and I've been looking for a coach, and I'm just wondering if you're still coaching. So the person that referred her to me is, what, a past, like, leader that I worked for. We've kept in touch, but we're not even super close. So it's kind of random that he even suggested me, right? And, like, never did I ask him to refer people. Like, it was literally so freaking eerie. Like, I was like, I woke up and I'm like, oh, my God. I manifested this. Like, literally, I manifested this.

Yes.

And so I signed her on as a client, and no word of a lie. A month later, one of my past clients reached out to me and was like, hey, are you still coaching? And I'm like, all right, that's two clients. Without even trying, without even telling people I'm doing this, clearly the world is telling me something, but clearly the world needs this right now. Like, I very much saw through the pandemic that everyone was suffering, and I wanted to be a part of ending that suffering.

So how did you get over that? What if? Right? You said it very briefly there. I was like, you know, will I be happier if, you know, I do these projects or will be happier if I go and do this? And even if it doesn't work out, Because I think that's also where a lot of people get stuck is they go, well, what if it fails? Or, what if I don't make money? Or what if people judge me? All the what ifs happen. How did you get over that what if? And maybe another way to even ask this is how did you, I guess, get comfortable with the idea of failing? Right. It's like, all right, what if I do this and it doesn't work and you still did it?

How.

How did you work through that fear that I think a lot of people have?

Yeah. So this is where I actually have, like, I guess a potentially different take on imposter syndrome in itself. Right. Because how you described it is very true. Right. But when I looked at my life, if I stayed in that role of head of enablement, I was feeling major imposter syndrome, by the way, when I was the head of enablement, because I had never had that kind of title before. I never really done these types of projects, and I was utilizing my skills and my resourcefulness to, like, literally figure it out as I go. Right? And I mean, by the way, that's what everyone fucking does. But. But it makes you feel like you don't know what you're doing, right? So that creates imposter support. Right? And so I was feeling huge amounts of imposter syndrome at my job. And then. But when I. When I'm coaching, like, because I have private clients, like, I never feel like an imposter. Like, I never feel that feeling. Like, when I'm coaching, I feel in complete alignment with myself. Right? And that was the other reason why I wanted to take on a couple clients before I made the leap. Obviously, it's like, kind of a smart decision, but it was also, like, to check in with myself to say, okay, after these coaching calls, like, what do I feel, right? Like, am I exhausted? Am I drained? Am I energized? Like, and I would get off these calls, I would, like, run into the other room, you know, to my boyfriend, and be like, oh, my God, like, what a good call. Like, la, la, la. He was just like, whoa. Like, this is such a different view than I've been seeing every single day, right? And it was just, like, so obvious that, like, I was being an imposter to stay in that job. Right? So imposter syndrome sometimes is actually alerting you to the fact that you are actually an imposter, because this job is not what you're meant to be doing. Like, you have a larger purpose or a different purpose in this world to fulfill, and this is not it, right? So for me, I took it as a sign and not like, oh, I'm just not good enough. Like, it wasn't that I'm not good enough. It's that it's. This is not. This is not my tribe. This is not my mission, you know?

Whoa. So now we're getting deep now. So I knew this was gonna be good. I knew this was gonna be good. So. Okay, so then how can you tell the difference? Because I think sometimes people take exactly what you do and what you felt and say, like, well, that's why I'm not ready, right? Because I feel these things. That's why I'm not ready. You know, I am scared of that job, so I should. Shouldn't do it. So how, you know, like, how do you walk that line between imposter syndrome, which is holding you back from something that you are ready for, and the flip side of, like, reading the signs that maybe it's not right for you? So I think we talk ourselves out of things all the time, right? It was like, oh, you know, yeah, I didn't do well in that interview. But that's. That's because, you know, it wasn't going to be right for me anyway, right? So how do you. I guess, how do you weigh that out? Is there a way to weigh that out of, like, okay, is this imposter syndrome speaking or is this me just holding myself?

So. And I think what that comes down to is really, you know, the crux of the work that I do with people, which is that you have to be super, super clear on your core values, right? Like, what is it that you actually care about in this world? What is it that you actually need in order to thrive, right? And so that's what, like, for me, it was like, clearly, coaching aligns 100% to my core values. Now, a lot of people, like, I think when. Whenever I say values, people can probably, like, list off 25 values that they have. But that's, like, really irrelevant because it's just, like, too confusing and too chaotic. I force people to narrow down those 25 into two. But I'll give people, like, a head start on. On that, because what I've actually realized is that there are two universal core values that we all have, right? And I think everyone can use these in order to get over, like, figure out that distinction that you just made, right? Like, is this A or is this B? So the two core values that we all have are growth and community and the way that we Express those in the world show up differently. That's our own, like, kind of unique expression of growth and community. You know, some people are creative, and so, like, that's the way that they experience both growth and community, right? They have a creative community. And the way because they're creative, they're able to grow, so on and so forth, right? So it's all expressed uniquely, but they. Oh, it always comes back to growth and community, which makes total sense because it is, like, in our DNA. If you think back to, you know, hunter gatherer, when we were in tribes, you get exiles from the tribe, you die, right? That tribe doesn't evolve, you die, right? So growth and community, right? Needing to belong and needing to evolve, right? And so when we don't have growth in our life, we feel alone. And when we don't have. Sorry. When we don't have growth, we feel stuck. And when we don't have community, we feel alone. Which I mean, literally the two most monumental sufferings in the entire world, right? And so when. So when you're at that chasm, that decision point, use those two values, those core needs in the world, growth and community, to make the decision, right? Is going out on my own gonna grow me? Am I gonna find a community of people and surround myself with inspiring, badass people that are gonna help me grow or staying here? Is there opportunity to grow? Is there a community that's gonna, you know, you know, help cultivate and support me, so on and so forth. It will become very clear which path is better suited for you based on what tribe you want to be a part of and how that tribe is going to help you grow. Because we're, let's face it, we're all a part of communities, but sometimes we're a part of communities that don't help us, right? Like I was saying to some of my clients, say, I'm like, there's, like, there's the best feeling in the world and the worst feeling in the world. The best feeling in the world is when you're with people and you're like, oh, I wish there was more time. I just want to keep talking to you, right? Like, when you and I chat, right? That's how I feel. Like, you know, it's about to be, like, the end of this conversation, and I'm not going to want it to end, right? And that's the best feeling in the world because, you know, you found your, like, your person and your people. But the worst feeling in the world is when you're like, when is this Conversation. I gotta get out of here. Right. And like, those just aren't your people. That's not your tribe. Right. And so it's so important to find your people and find your tribe, because that community is what will exponentially help you grow. You can grow on your own, but you can grow way faster and way bigger with people.

And I love that. And I think it really does come down to also, like, taking action. So I want to take a step back to something else you said there. Right. Is like, I think a lot of people can resonate with what you mentioned of, like, after the fact, you feel great. Like, after you working with a client, you feel amazing. After you get off stage, you feel great. Like, after you went for the clothes, you feel great. But it's that. That five seconds before to actually make the decision that most people never do. They know afterwards. Even like going to the gym. Going to the gym, right? Going is the hardest part. Once you're there, people like, oh, yeah, this feels great. What's some of the advice you give people to actually make that leap, to actually do the things that you know. This is so simple but not easy, where it's like, you know what made you happy. A lot of people know what makes them happy, but then it's scary. It's scary. So, like, what are some of the pieces of advice you give people to actually take that step, to push through that fear, to get into kind of the actions they should be taking?

Yeah. This might seem like exactly what I just said, but I think it becomes less scary when you know your values. Right?

Okay.

Like, if you know that this decision that you're about to take is so aligned with your core values and it's going to honor them, it can still be scary, right? But you know that it's going to be the right decision, right? Because it's going to align. Right. It's when you don't know your values and you're just like, making a decision and you have no measuring stick of like, is this the right one or not that I think the fear becomes too overwhelming. Right? Because the fear, I think, will always be there, but it's that inner knowing that allows you to say, fuck, I know this is scary as hell, but I know this is what I need to do. Like, I know this is aligned and I'm just going to do it regardless, because I know it's going to be better on the other side, even though this is freaking scary.

I love. You just mentioned this, right. Does it ever really go away? Fear, the imposter syndrome, does it ever go away or does it just get less?

Like I don't feel imposter syndrome at all anymore. Like, I really, really don't. And people ask me like, how did I do that? I'm like, well, I don't have. Why would I feel like an imposter? Like I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing, you know, and like I'm living my dream. Where would I, where would the imposter show up? Right? I think the only place that it can, it can like rear itself is when like, listen, we all have beliefs, right? And sometimes those beliefs are kind of the common beliefs in the world and sometimes they're a little bit outside of the common. Right? And I feel like for myself I have some of my beliefs are outside of the common world. Like the common kind of corporate rhetoric, right? And so claiming that publicly, right. Claiming that space to be other than what everyone else is talking about. Not that you're. Not that. I feel like an imposter. But it feels scary, right? It feels scary to say, actually this is what I believe and this is the world that I believe in. And I'm going to be okay if you don't believe in my world, you know, because you, because we all want community, we all want to fit in, we all want to belong. So we pay that we play the fitting in game for a long ass time. But that's also when imposter shows up because you're just trying to fit in. You're not actually being yourself, right? Yes.

And I think, and I hope that's a message people are getting from this is like, when you are yourself, there is no imposter because you are you, you can't. It's only when you aren't yourself. And I went through this in my career, especially early on, like, and I'm sure there's things we can resonate here as a female leader, as a minority leader, like tried to fit in, you know, talk differently, dress differently, do what they did. Cause I wanted to be a part of it. But it never felt good. It never felt right, you know, and that's where the imposter syndrome creeps in a little bit. We're like, who am I?

Right, Right.

And so do you.

Again, it's alerting you that you are being an imposter right now. Right?

And we always, and we, I think oftentimes with imposter syndrome, we're thinking about we're imposters to other people. When in reality it's like, it's the imposter is like here, like we are the imposter. They are who they are. They're probably being an imposter too, to themselves, right? Like John Barrows and I have joked about this before of like so often after our presentations or speeches, whatever, people will come up and say, thanks for being real.

Right? And you're like, and we.

When did being real becomes so rare.

Honorable that it's something that you called out?

So do you work with your clients and all? I guess this is gonna sound weird and if this is a dumb question, we'll move on. But how to know who they are? Because for a lot of us, we have been pretending for so long that we don't know who we are. We don't know what our values are because we've always been trying to take other people's on. So like, how do you work with people to maybe discover that a little bit?

Yeah, that's honestly the basis of my coaching. Right? So like the. I have kind of like core curriculum, if you will. But it's not about me teaching my clients anything. It's about actually teaching them about who they are. Right? So the first three sessions that we go through there are like assigned exercises that are all about going inwards and all about, you know, values, strengths, that negative self talk stuff. And we can get into that because it's fucking fascinating. But figuring out like, what is your specific judge? What does it tell you? What does it sound like, what does it look like, what does it feel like, right? And that judgy voice shows up. It comes from your childhood, right? So then we kind of, we go back a little bit to be like, you know, what did you tell yourself as a kid in order to feel like you were lovable? Right? We all make up a story when we were like around 5 years old to say, okay, so my parents aren't meeting all of my needs because I don't know how to communicate them, right? And they're imperfect. You don't say that as a kid. You say, my parents are perfect. I must be damaged and broken. So in order for me to be lovable, I have to do X to be lovable, right? So for example, I'll give you my example so it makes more sense. So I'm. I'm what they call a hyperachiever, right? So I made up a story when I was young to say that my parents, namely my father, because we all have daddy issues, no matter what our gender is, that I will, I will be lovable to him. I will get his approval and his love. If I am successful, if I keep doing, if I keep producing, if I keep. If I achieve things, right? So it was like, I had to be the best at soccer. I had to be the best at dance. I had to be the best at school. I had to get a corporate job. Like, I. I look at my life and I'm like, holy shit. I've just been literally making decisions as an adult based on some fucking contract I developed as a child, right? And we all are. We all are. And that is like an absolute light bulb moment for my clients to be like, jeez, us. Like, my whole life has been shaped by this lie. It's a lie. Like, it's a total. It's a delusion that we. We created, right? Anyways, going back to it. So we go do all this inner work and create this foundation of, like, who you are, right? And then we start to solve the challenges of whatever's present in their life. It's. If it's trying to get a promotion or a raise or find a different job or leave the corporate world, like, you know, the stuff. Stuff that's getting in the way. We now have this amazing foundation to work with so that we can solve the right problems and not just focus on the symptoms. Because when you know who you are and you know what is important to you, you can do it from that place versus, like this. I don't really know who I am. I don't know how to solve this problem, right?

I love it. Mine was perfection. Very similar. In order to be loved, I thought I had to be perfect. I couldn't mess up. I had to be perfect to earn my. My father's love, right? And, like, because if I could be.

Perfect, didn't mess up, he will love me for sure.

He will love me, right? And I still remember. I still remember this. I'll never, ever forget it. The first time I broke six figures, first person I called was my father, right? I didn't come from much growing up, broken home, growing up. No one on my father's side that I know of at all has ever made that type of money. And I called him like, dad did it. It's November. Just crossed $111,000 on my W2 so far. I still got. A month ago, I did it.

I broke it.

And his response was, that's. That's great, son. Are you saving it?

Right? Still didn't do it perfectly, right?

It was like. And there wasn't a. Like, I'm so proud of you. There wasn't like, oh my gosh, yes, Kevin. It was like, okay, but are you saving it? I was like, oh, damn it. Right? And so it took me a long time to work through that. So I love that you bring it back to that.

But that's, but that's his stuff, right? Right. That's his. From his father doing that to him. Right? Like that's how he's learned, right? And so what they're, what we call them in coaching is saboteurs because they literally. This perfectionism is self sabotage, right? It holds you back, it takes over your time. You know, like all this kind of stuff, it's all self sabotaging beliefs.

It's crazy. It's crazy. So, all right, so now we've gotten to this point, right? So you know, you get your values, you work through, you know, okay, here's who I am, right? Here's, you know what, maybe some of the backstories from there. And then I guess what comes next to then really, I guess embrace that, right? So I think this idea of like almost the acceptance of oneself, like, okay, now I realize who I am. But in order to no longer be an imposter, I have to accept it. I have to be able to lean into it and be that person. How do you help encourage people then to lean in?

Right?

Like, okay, you've gone through the values, you know who you are. How do I lean in? So I'm no longer holding myself back. Whether it's because I'm an imposter to myself or I feel like I'm an imposter to others. How do I then break through it to that other side?

Yeah. So a big thing that happens with imposter syndrome is overworking, right? Because you constantly feel like you got to prove yourself, so you say yes to everything that comes up at work and overwork, right? Because you just need to prove proof. And so what starts to happen when we go through that foundational work of knowing themselves and understanding what's important to them and whatnot, they start to then realize this pattern of trying to prove what is what doesn't need to be proved, right? Like, your worst doesn't come from achievements. Your worth doesn't come from productivity. Your worth doesn't come from performance. That's what they want you to believe so that you keep doing it. Right? We're in the machine, literally. Right. But you already are wood exactly as you are, right? So they start to separate themselves from that kind of need to please and need to achieve for their own worth, right? And they start to then create an identity of who they are as just them, not as them, you know, the leader at X Company, right? And so what they start to do, because what usually happens when you overwork is you deprioritize everything else in your life, right? And then, and then you're like, well, I'm not even doing well at work because I'm tired and I'm stressed and I have no friends and I have no community and I never work out. Right? Because you're just always trying to prove yourself. So we then start to shift to what are the things that make you feel amazing, right? Like what is in alignment with like your best self, right? And so like some of the like things that they don't even think is going to happen from coaching but you know, they start to create a workout routine or they start joining other groups or communities or you know, they just start creating a new identity for themselves that has nothing to do with their performance at work because they realize that only focusing on performance at work doesn't actually make them feel good, right? That's the lie that the saboteurs, right? The self sabotaging lie that is that you will feel good if you keep performing. Like you'll feel good at the next paycheck, you'll feel good at the next deal. And it's like, yeah, then the next deal comes and then there's another deal and another. It's just the hamster wheel, right? So they start to kind of de. Identify themselves with that and start to identify themselves with their values and start to prioritize things in their life differently so that their life looks more aligned to their values and not just aligned to achievement as their only value. Because that's the only value that they see, right? Is like, if I achieve then I'm valuable. And that's just not true.

I love that. And as we start to get closer to the end here, do you have any tactical tips on like what to do in the moment, right? So like right before you have to do something right? For some people that is, you know, asking for a raise or you know, going for the clothes or going after promotion, they feel that bubble up. Do you have any exercises to kind of like I guess bring this all together in the moment, right? Because it's one of those things like people could hear us talking and they're like, oh yeah, you're right, you got it. Then you're about to walk in your VP's office or you're about to click post on, I'm going Solo, right? I still tell a story of, like, when I started my patreon, right, this $10 per month. I've closed multiple seven figure deals in my life, but I was launching a Patreon for $10 a month and I knew there were tens of thousands of dollars worth of value in there. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't sleep. I texted all of like, my, like, good, like, calling, you know, sales leadership friends and influencer friends.

I was like, yo, canvassing for some support.

Yeah, well, funny enough, I didn't even go for support. I told, I texted, this is like 11 o' clock at night. I go to bed at like 9, right? Like, I don't stay up until 11. I'm old, right? But I, you know, these, this is Scott Lees, Richard Harris, Morgan Ingram, John Barrows, Rob Jepsen. Like, I'm texting all my people. I was like, look, y', all, this is going live tomorrow and I literally don't want you to do anything right now. I'm just telling you so I don't back out. But I was like, I was definitely afraid in that moment to click go on that. And so what advice do you have for people kind of in that moment, right? Like, I've done a lot of this work. I know this stuff I've gone through, but there is still that moment, this fear that bubbles up. How do you work with people to bring that back down? So actually, again, take that action.

Yeah. Well, I love what you did because what you harnessed is the power of community in that moment, right? Because you brought, you know, all of your people and you said, I don't even need you to do anything. I just need you to hold this space for me. Right? I just need you to know that I'm doing this and you don't like, just me knowing, you know, is like good enough, you know, and that is the power of like taking up space with the community and being seen by them, right? So I love that you created that for yourself, which is definitely a tip, right? For everyone is like, but, you know, find your people and tell them and let them hold you accountable as well. But I think the other thing. So one of the practices I help, I. One of the practices that my clients create is gratitude journaling. So they gratitude journal every morning. And so I follow like the five Minute Journal framework. And so the second part of the five Minute Journal in the morning is like, what are the three things that will make today great? Right? And what I encourage my, my clients to do is think about these moments that are going to be hard, right? Maybe you have a meeting with the CEO or like it's a, there's a big deal or whatever. Just like you know, professional athletes who are about to go into a big game, right? We, I'm sure you hear that they visualize themselves winning, right? They visualize themselves like you know, getting the like ball in the basket type of thing. Visualize that moment. Like how are you going to show up in that moment? Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up? Visualize it and write it down. It is just like subconscious programming that makes it happen without you even really having to think about it in the moment moment. Because you've already pre thought about it, right? And your mind is unable to create what it can't think about. So think about it in the morning and it will create it for you in that moment, right? But if you don't think about it then you're just winging it and then all your fears and your saboteurs and all self sabotage bullshit shows up because it's like haha, here we go. Right? Like you didn't pre think about it. So here we are, right? Yes.

One of my favorite quotes around this, I wish I could find who said it. But now like the Internet gives credit to anything and everything so you never know who actually said it. So hopefully like in another decade people credit me for this quote. This is worry is a waste of imagination.

Oh God.

We have this powerful. It's what separates us truthfully from most of the other animals on this planet is we can imagine things that have never existed before. We can imagine multiple outcomes in reality, but we use it most of the time for worry. And like that's always been one of mine is like if you're going to use this tool called imagination, don't waste it on worry. Like we're no, we're no longer in the hunter gatherer days where that's all we had to do was worry. Like am I going to eat? Am I going to be safe? Is it going to storm? Is there a saber toothed tiger? Whatever we're past, let's use it for the more powerful things. That's why I love that you brought up not just gratitude but also the visualization. Use that imagination in a good way instead of a bad.

Yeah. To create. Yeah. Well the problem is that our brains haven't actually evolved enough from that, that survival. Right. Because so all of that judge the perfectionism stuff, that's your survival brain, right? Taking over. So Our brains unfortunately relate to that. We have a prefrontal cortex. As humans, we're the only species that does that allows us to rationally think. But the problem is, is that it's such a new part of our brain that it has the wiring is. So it's like a dirt road, whereas our survival brain is like a five lane highway. So our brain is like, well, I'm going to take the five lane highway, right? So I'm going to just make you worry because that's way easier than being imaginative, right? Like, fuck imagination. That's too hard, right?

Right. Love it, man. We are. We are interesting creatures. That's why this is. I love people and I love people that study people and work with people because there's still so much for us to learn about ourselves. How to get the most out of what we are and who we can be and what we can do. And so as we wrap here, this is everything I was hoping it was going to be and then some. Like you said, I'm like, oh, shit. Like, I don't want to stop yet. Like, we're at 40 minutes already. I don't want to shut it down. We can keep going. I got two no real final questions here. So the first, you know, we called like the big three, right? It's like we've talked a lot about growth and imposter syndrome and fear and things of that nature. Like, if you. The three core things you wanted people to walk from from this conversation, what would those three key takeaways be?

Okay, so values. You gotta, you gotta do a values exercise to really get clear on your two core values and start evaluating your life against them. You know, am I honoring these values or am I not honoring these values? Because then you'll know what you need to do and change. You can go into action because when we don't have clarity, we feel overwhelmed, right? And we feel unable to act. So get your clarity on your values so that you can start taking action. Right? Two is gratitude journaling in the morning. Honestly, just like, just do it. You got to do it like, it's. It'll change your life. And I think three is because I know that this is just everyone's pain point right now. And so why don't we just come together and create it for ourselves? Which is like, find your tribe, right? We've all been so isolated. Every single one of my clients is lacking community in their lives. And it causes so much stress. And it causes a depletion of growth too, right? Which then causes more stress. Because if you're not growing, then you feel like you're right? So either create your community, find your community. You can have multiple communities. It doesn't have to just be one, right? Like, when I think about who I want in my tribe, you know, it's a lot. There's a lot of things, right? And I can't. I can't just like, you know, I can't just, like, expect people to be everything me, right? So, like, I have a workout community, right? I have a community of coaches, right? And then I have, like, my sales community, right? And they all. They all fulfill different needs for me. But you need to feel like you belong somewhere. And when you belong, you feel safe. And when you feel safe, you feel brave, right? You feel like you always have people behind you that are going to catch you even if you fall.

I love it. I love it. And I mean, that could have been the episode right there. I mean, there's just so much. It's even in those three things. And, like, it kind of overlaps into the last question here, right? Cause, like, the name of the podcast is Live Better, Sell Better. I have this really weird idea, right, that if we took better care of ourselves, if we had more gratitude, if we had more joy and energy and fulfillment, that the sales would also improve. So you're crazy.

You're crazy how that would work out.

You've touched on a lot of things that fall into this. But, like, what would your live better advice be for people listening?

Like how.

How to live better day to day?

I think that there's so much there. I'm trying to think of something that I haven't already said because I don't want to sound like a broken record.

Repetition is everything. Repetition is everything. There's nothing wrong with it.

True. Yeah. You know, I think. I think it goes back to the. A sure fire way to live better is to be with people that inspire you all the time, because you are a product of those people, right? You're a product of the people you hang out with most. And so make them amazing, badass people, right? Because if they're not doing cool, interesting, fun, inspiring things, you won't have bravery to do it either, right?

So true. So true. And then, so speaking of amazing, brilliant, badass individuals, you are one of them. How can people get more of? Where can they find you? Where can they follow you? Where can they get the content you're putting out? Where could they work with you? I'm sure there's people who hear this and go, hey, like I need more of that in my life. How do people get more Allie in their life?

Absolutely. Yeah. Like my whole thing is really around growth and community and how we can create a frickin limitless potential for people. So I'd love to work with your awesome audience. Best way to find me is on LinkedIn. So my name Aly Ruzakos. And then pretty easy, my website, alirezakos.com so you'll find all the ways to get in contact with me. Follow my content on LinkedIn. I post five days a week. I have a newsletter that you can find on my website. So those two places are definitely where you'll find me.

Oh yes, well, I'm signing up for that newsletter for sure. Because also that's where I think I can live continuously, vicariously through you in lovely Costa Rica, which I'm jealous of.

But it's basically a weekly, weekly dose of the things that I'm still learning.

Hell yes. Well, Ali, I learned things today. I'm know the audience learned things today. Thank you so much for your time, your energy, your insights, it was amazing. Really appreciate it.

Thank you for the great question.

Hell yeah.