Turn Your Doubt Into a Superpower with Alli Rizacos

This is so simple, but not easy, where it's like, you know, what made you happy? A lot of people know what makes them happy.

But then there's scary. It's scary, which makes total sense because it is, like, in our DNA. If you think back to, you know, hunter gatherer, when we were in tribes, you get exiles from the tribe, you die, right? That tribe doesn't evolve, you die, right? So growth and community, right? Needing to belong and needing to evolve. When I'm coaching, like, because I have private clients, like, I never feel like an imposter. Like, I never feel that feeling. Like, when I'm coaching, I feel in complete alignment with myself, right? And that was the other reason why I wanted to take on a couple of clients before I made the leap. Obviously, it's, like, kind of a smart decision, but it was also, like, to check in with myself to say, okay, after these coaching calls, like, what do I feel, right? Like, am I exhausted? Am I drained? Am I energized? Like, and I would get off these calls, and I would, like, run into the other room, you know, to my boyfriend, and be like, oh, my God, like, what a good call. Like, la, la, la. He was just like, whoa. Like, this is such a different view than I've been seeing every single day, right? And it was just, like, so obvious that, like, I was being an imposter to stay in that job, right? So imposter syndrome sometimes is actually alerting you to the fact that you are actually an imposter, because this job is not what you're meant to be doing. Like, you have a larger purpose or a different purpose in this world to fulfill, and this is not it, right? So for me, I took it as a sign and not like, oh, I'm just not good enough. Like, it wasn't that I'm not good enough. It's that it's. This is not. This is not my tribe. This is not my mission, you know? Whoa.

So now we're getting. We're getting deep now. So I knew this was gonna be good. I knew this was gonna be good. So. Okay, so then how can you tell the difference? Because I think sometimes people take exactly what you do and what you felt and say, like, well, that's why I'm not ready, right? Because I feel these things. That's why I'm not ready. You know, I am scared of that job, so I shouldn't do it. So how, you know, like, how do you walk that line between imposter syndrome, which is holding you back from something that you are ready for. And the flip side of, like, reading the signs that maybe it's not right for you. So I think we talk ourselves out of things all the time, right? It was like, oh, you know, yeah, I didn't do well in that interview. But that's. That's because, you know, it wasn't going to be right for me anyway, right?

So how do you.

I guess, how do you weigh that out? Is there a way to weigh that out of, like, okay, is this imposter syndrome speaking or is this me just holding myself?

So. And I think what that comes down to is really, you know, the crux of the work that I do with people, which is that you have to be super, super clear on your core values, right? Like, what is it that you actually care about in this world? What is it that you actually need in order to thrive, right? And so that's what, like, for me, it was like, clearly coaching aligns 100% to my core values. Now, a lot of people, like, I think when, whenever I say values, people can probably, like, list off 25 values that they have. But that's, like, really irrelevant because it's just, like, too confusing and too chaotic. I force people to narrow down that. Those 25 into 2. But I'll give people, like, a head start on that because what I've actually realized is that there are two universal core values that we all have, right? And I think everyone can use these in order to get over, like, figure out that distinction that you just made, right? Like, is this A or is this B? So the two core values that we all have, growth and community, and the way that we express those in the world show up differently. That's our own, like, kind of unique expression of growth and community. You know, some people are creative and so, like, that's the way that they experience both growth and community, right? They have a creative community. And because they're creative, they're able to grow, so on and so forth, right? So it's all expressed uniquely. But they. Oh, it always comes back to growth and community, which makes total sense because it is like in our DNA, if you think back to, you know, hunter, gatherer, when we were in tribes, you get exiles from the tribe, you die, right? That tribe doesn't evolve, you die, right? So growth and community, right? Needing to belong and needing to evolve, right? And so when we don't have growth in our life, we feel alone. And when we don't have. Sorry. When we don't have growth, we feel stuck. And when we don't have community, we feel alone, which I mean, literally the two most monumental sufferings in the entire world, right? And so when. So when you're at that chasm, that decision point, use those two values, those core needs in the world's growth and community to make the decision, right? Is going out on my own gonna grow me? Am I gonna find a community of people and surround myself with inspiring, badass people that are gonna help me grow or staying here? Is there opportunity to grow? Is there a community that's gonna, you know, you know, help cultivate and support me, so on and so forth. It will become very clear which path is better suited for you based on what tribe you want to be a part of and how that tribe is going to help you grow. Because we're, let's face it, we're all a part of communities, but sometimes we're a part of communities that don't help us. Right? Like I was saying to some of my clients today, I'm like, there's, like, there's the best feeling in the world and the worst feeling in the world. The best feeling in the world is when you're with people and you're like, oh, I wish there was more time. I just want to keep talking to you, right? Like, when you and I chat, right? That's how I feel like, you know, it's about to be, like, the end of this conversation, and I'm not going to want it to end, right? And that's the best feeling in the world because, you know, you found your person and your people. But the worst feeling in the world is when you're like, when is this conversation? I got to get out of here, right? And, like, those just aren't your people. That's not your tribe, right? And so it's so important to find your people and find your tribe because that community is what will exponentially help you grow. You can grow on your own, but you can grow way faster and way bigger with people.

And I love that. And I think it really does come down to also, like, taking action. So I want to take a step back to something else you said there. Right. I think a lot of people can resonate with what you mentioned of, like, after the fact, you feel great. Like, after you working with a client, you feel amazing. After you get off stage, you feel great. Like, after you, you know, went for the close, you feel great. But it's that five seconds before to actually make the decision that most people never do. They know afterwards, even, like, going to the gym, going to the gym. Right. Going is the hardest part. Once you're there, people like, oh, yeah, this feels great. What's some of the advice you give people to actually make that leap, to actually do the things that you know. This is so simple but not easy, where it's like, you know what made you happy. A lot of people know what makes them happy, but then it's scary. It's scary. So, like, what are some of the pieces of advice you give people to actually take that step, to push through that fear, to get into kind of the actions they should be taking?

Yeah, this might seem like exactly what I just said, but I think it becomes less scary when you know your values. Right? Okay. Like, if you know that this decision that you're about to take is so aligned with your core values and it's going to honor them, it can still be scary, right? But you know that it's going to be the right decision, right? Because it's going to align, right? It's when you don't know your values and you're just like making a decision and you have no measuring stick of like, is this the right one or not that I think the fear becomes too overwhelming, right? Because the fear, I think, will always be there, but it's that inner knowing that allows you to say, fuck. I know this is scary as hell, but I know this is what I need to do. Like, I know this is aligned and I'm just going to do it regardless because I know it's going to be better on the other side, even though this is frickin scary.

I love. You just mentioned this, right? Does it ever really go away? The fear, the imposter syndrome? Does it ever go away or does it just get less like, I don't.

Feel imposter syndrome at all anymore. Like, I really, really don't. And people ask me, like, how did I do that? I'm like, well, I don't have. Why would I feel like an imposter? Like, I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing, you know? And like, I'm living my dream. Where would I. Where would the imposter show up? Right? I think the only place that it can. It can like, rear itself is when, like, listen, we all have beliefs, right? And sometimes those beliefs are kind of the common beliefs in the world and sometimes they're a little bit outside the common. Right? And I feel like for myself, I have some of my beliefs are outside of the common world. Like the common kind of corporate rhetoric, right? And so claiming that publicly, right? Claiming that space to be other than what everyone else is talking about. Not that you're. Not that I feel like an imposter. But it feels scary, right? It feels scary to say, actually this is what I believe and this is the world that I believe in. And I'm going to be okay if you don't believe in my world, you know, because you. Because we all want community. We all want to fit in, we all want to belong. So we pay that. We play the fitting in game for a long ass time. But that's also when a bus shows up. Because you're just trying to fit in. You're not actually being yourself, Sam.