In this 2013 breakfast presentation, Brennan Graham, Executive Director of The Relatives, shares personal stories of youth trapped in cycles of foster care, homelessness, and neglect to illustrate systemic failures in his community. He outlines The Relatives’ three‑pronged mission—providing safety, stability, and pathways to successful futures—backed by concrete impact statistics: over 3,000 young people served, 2,700 receiving shelter or crisis services, and 450 emerging adults gaining job‑skill training. Graham critiques the broader public system for its high‑cost, punitive approach and lack of preventative resources, highlighting alarming data from the OnRamp Resource Center (e.g., 65% with criminal records, 40% with only an 8th‑grade education). He announces recent expansion efforts (new OnRamp facility, additional lease space) and issues a passionate call to community members to support and invest in proactive, outcome‑driven programs rather than incarceration. The speech blends vivid anecdote, hard data, and a persuasive appeal for collective action to break the cycle of hopelessness for at‑risk youth.
Chapters
15 years ago, I worked in a residential treatment program with a young lady, a 16-year-old young lady named Julissa. I can vividly remember her telling me that her life was so messed up that a normal life like mine would never be possible for her. I remember her telling me how she'd been passed around from foster home to foster home, from facility to facility, having to change her life and start a new life nearly every year. Until she just looked at me and said, you know, I'm just tired of it. 3 years ago, at our crisis center, I met her 13-year-old son, who looked me in my eyes and said, a normal life like yours will never be possible for me. 3 years ago, I renewed my commitment to breaking that cycle, to opening doors to these youth that have been closing their eyes for so many years. To end that cycle of dependence, that cycle of hopelessness, that cycle of homelessness. My name is Brennan Graham, and for the past 8 years, I've had the distinct privilege of serving as the Executive Director of The Relatives. I have the honor of leading a wonderful staff that believes, as I do, that every child deserves a safe place to sleep and a fighting chance to make it. See, for me, serving at The Relatives has been truly life-changing. For 10 years prior, I'd worked with kids and thought I pretty much had it all figured out. But I quickly realized that I absolutely had no clue what was really going on. I was horrified for our community after seeing the faces behind the knocks at our doors. With situations like Brittany, a 10-year-old who had to literally live in her garage, soaking daily in her own urine while her family enjoyed the comforts of their own home, and hot meals. Or Melanie, an 18-year-old who was so desperate that she had to make the decision to sleep with strangers rather than freeze on the streets. And so for me, with situations like this happening right here in our community, it sounded a blaring alarm that our future as a community is in serious trouble. The mission of the Relatives is achieved in 3 very distinct ways: providing safety, For those youth like Corey, who was so scared to go home that she chose to sleep under the bleachers at her school rather than face another night of fear and pain. Providing stability to families like the Wilsons, who could actually focus on finding steady jobs rather than worrying about whether their 13-year-old was okay as she watched her 4 siblings while they slept in the back of their Dodge Caravan. and helping clear paths to successful futures for kids like Michael, whose dream was to be in the military. Now he's a paratrooper. And he comes to our office every now and then, he brags about jumping out of airplanes. In the past year, our work supported more than 3,000 young people in this community, providing shelter and crisis services to nearly 2,700 youth and families, empowering more than 450 emerging adults To obtain necessary job skills, achieve all of their goals towards education, or find safe housing. We've developed and continue to develop critical partnerships that will enable us to tackle these issues as they are identified. Because as many of our young folks demonstrate to us every single day, you really just can't do it all by yourself. But, you know, for the relatives, we've only scratched the surface. This is just the beginning. Many kids in our community face so many situations and have so many cards stacked against them that it's just amazing. Of the 95 16- and 17-year-olds who stayed at our crisis center last year, we were only confident that a handful had the preparation and the knowledge and the education support needed to survive on their own after 18 years old. 65% of the young adults seeking help at our OnRamp Resource Center had criminal records. 40% had not completed farther than 8th grade. More than half were or had been homeless. And we actually know of 5 who actually made their beds right in front of our office door. And amazingly, but not surprisingly, more than 90% had been in foster care or in one of our other public systems. See, there's something profoundly wrong with the way our systems deal with the kids that we have. I don't know if it's because of cost, because of lack of resources, lack of knowledge, or sheer apathy. And frankly, I really don't care. Our kids are in trouble, and they need somebody to do something about it. When kids grow up in our systems and in our community headed to jail, or to live in the streets, becoming prostitutes, stealing, or going to jail just so they can have a safe place to sleep or food to eat, we have to take a stand. And with so many of them being beaten down every day by their circumstances, literally hiding in dark corners in our city just so they can take a quick nap, selling themselves, or spending all day around the transit center trying to work whatever hustle they can figure out, not realizing or imagining or even being able to dream that there is anything different or anything possible for them, our future as a community is in serious trouble. For years, we've spent countless resources in our community trying to figure out how to prepare for these impending crises. And now, after all of this preparing, we're still not prepared. We're not prepared to get these kids jobs. We're not prepared to help them appreciate the value of an education. Not prepared to help them dream big and plan even bigger. But we are prepared to lock them up. And at a cost of nearly $30,000 per person per year. And of course, with none of that empowering support and preparation that leads to truly successful futures. We've been preparing our questions for them. What's wrong with you? Don't you want anything better for yourself? But at The Relatives, we're committed to taking a stand for these kids, to prepare them as a part of our community, rather than a problem within it. We see firsthand what happens to these kids, even from a very young age, if we don't equip them with the tools that they need to make it, so they can successfully struggle, as young people should, but struggle in a way that builds character rather than a criminal record. Our organization is growing every day to take on these challenges. In April, we moved our OnRamp office to a new facility to account for the, the the growing need that we've had. Just yesterday, I signed a lease for additional space to reach these needs. We're not only committed to answering every knock at the door to help these kids, we're making plans right now to go to the streets, go out to the communities where these kids are, to shine a light of hope into these dreamless eyes. At The Relatives, we're saying no more. No more wasting time. No more wasting resources. You know, no more wasting money, because many times that's what it really boils down to. And we're prepared to ask those questions: What do these kids really need? Rather than the question, how are you going to pay for it? We know that in order to change lives, we have to change thinking. So we're committed to programs with proven outcomes that empower our young people to dream, to dream big, and then to plan, to plan their lives to be Very successful. And we won't accept failure. We won't accept failure as an option for these kids. They can't— they expect us to do more, and we have to. So when you leave here today, ride past the transit center. See the faces of the many kids who've been left to fend for themselves. Go to any of the malls in the community and make sure you stay there after closing time. And then ask yourself, are they all looking for trouble? What else do these kids need? So when they knock on our doors, the relatives will promise that those doors open to safety, stability, and a path to successful futures. Will you all stand with us at those doors? Thank you. Thank you. My daughter is—
