The transcript captures a live set by Dan Stothard, performing under the moniker Fela Dakota, at the Salon48 FaB 2019 event. The content interleaves original song lyrics with on‑stage banter among several participants (Speaker A – the performer, Speakers C, D, and Larry). The lyrical sections explore themes of loss, addiction, self‑medication, loneliness, existential dread, and turbulent relationships, often using stark, repetitive phrasing (“It’s getting harder to breathe”). Between songs, the speakers discuss the creative process (writing a new set, taking breaks), casual topics (wine, skateboards, childhood games), and meta‑commentary on the performance itself (staging, audience reaction). The dialogue oscillates between confessional, poetic monologue and informal, sometimes humorous conversation, revealing the performer’s mental‑health struggles, artistic anxieties, and the collaborative, improvisational atmosphere of the event.
Chapters
We were looking for hope Food drinkin' and all them lines of code Said, hey, old friend It's been a little while since you lived in my bed And I don't believe But I still speak to the dead And cut it up in so hard To just keep moving, breaking apart Because I'm mad at you Like there's no day I don't think about you
Yes,
I was so passive and you let me into your bed Talking desire and racking up lines of cash To subdue whatever we were subjected to No, I never clench my
fists like your father used to So
here's to you
My darling friend I
never went to your funeral I could barely leave my bed I couldn't face the eyes of God I never learned how to repent I couldn't face the eyes of God I couldn't see you, my old friend
You
pulled me close to let me go Now I'm dancing with your ghost Pulled me close to let me go Now I'm dancing with your ghost You pulled me close to let me go Now I'm dancing with your ghost
So I set myself a challenge. I was going to write a whole new set for tonight. But I had a few moments where I was like, this is fine. And then it got to, like, two
days ago and I was like, this isn't fine!
So that's my headline.
Scared
and hardened to breathe Scared and hardened to breathe While she sings for me It's getting harder to breathe, to
breathe
Can you see my heart racing from my shirt? Do you have a 10-bag of dopamine? I hope this loneliness hides the high candidism Can you take me quiet? It's getting harder It's getting harder to breathe While she stands for me It's getting harder to breathe
And I've been
waiting for someone to pull me out But all these fucking pills, they just help me fucking drown I'm running out
of power, here I am, a disaster
just like It's getting harder to breathe It's getting harder to breathe While she sits for me It's getting harder to breathe And I smoke you in And
you'll freak me out And these fears stick my head And pull it away
right now In that smoky breath And you'll freak me out Oh, these fears are getting a bit of me now And it's getting harder to breathe
It's
getting harder to breathe Every time you leave It's getting harder to breathe How
much time do I have by the way? I don't know what you want. Yeah, I don't know what you want. You have a thing to put on.
I don't want to take off any of your stuff.
We're going to break it, won't we? Yeah, don't break it.
So do you want to do a
few tracks and then come back later?
Yeah, so do you want to turn it all around and then we'll have
a break and then come back later?
Yeah, yeah, we can do that.
Should have thought about this.
I haven't really.
Help yourself out, come on. Yeah.
either grow together or we're falling apart you are more than nothing but nothing lives inside my heart and oh the shame when I wait next to a stranger and you can't Fuck away your loneliness I guess that I'm just a user of anything you've got on my behalf And I've ran out of lies to tell myself I self-medicate to run from my mental world I've ran out of lies to tell myself I'll take anything to feel like someone else
And
let me live inside your skin Run through your bloodstream Run through your veins And I am to blame For my own participation in this vacation for myself.
That's
when I have a lot of lies to tell myself. Self-medicate to run from my mental health
I've
ran out of lies to tell myself I can't take anything to feel like someone else Goddamn, I'm losing myself to this mask that I wear Catch myself sayin' I'm a nice man But a nice man wouldn't need to say
that Wouldn't
say that I've ran out of lies to tell myself self-medicate to run from my mental health I've ran out of lies to tell myself I'll take anything to pretend I'm not myself I've ran out of lies to tell myself A self-medicate to run from my mental health And I've run out of lies to tell myself Cut out your razor's heart. Turned me my naked heart to yours. When your fever was a long night Please say it's me, I miss the light Say what you want, please say it's me I can't make my song with him now. Do
you think of me?
Do you think of me?
Please say yes to me It's the life Say what you want Please say yes to me It's the life Please
say yes Please save me, you're so
weak But it was love you never knew I don't know.
I'm not sure what that defies, but it's nice.
I mean, it's not exactly what I was thinking or something.
I know, I know. Outside, yeah? That's a bit of a look, shall I get some marshmallows?
You've been in the light of...
You've been in the marshmallows, I'm not been in the marshmallows. We could do a set of them and get away with it, because none of us is guilty of it.
Yes. Yeah.
I like when you're racist. Yeah. I'm just playing around.
I stagged it.
You stagged it? Yeah, I saw it.
They literally ran away about 30 seconds.
Did anybody play Knock Knock Ginger when they were kids?
Yeah, yeah.
I used to play Knock Don't Run.
And then there was someone that stagged it.
Like, what do you want? I just went, you're in my house.
And I was so scared, but then it got really angry. And then a vulgar clerk who came
like, what a funny chap. And I was like, this isn't my house.
It's just like, no.
There's more shit to do.
Do you want me to get my clothes?
How could I believe in a higher being? When my eyes are the size of moonless nights When did I stop trying? And how could I believe When I was born into a foreign home Where fire was warm If they can love me, I do care Cause damn, I never got the heart to love myself If it isn't painful and goddamn real
And
I want to be your boy When I go down on the stars above I'm so sorry But I think I did it wrong And I want to be reborn When I go down on the stars above I'm sorry I think I did all wrong, so wrong, so wrong And if it doesn't hurt Is it really real? I know it's wrong to seek Validation in others Just dying to please
The
days that you can't do it for yourself Do it for the other people You keep all my hours before When I go, don't mourn the stars above I'm so fucking sore Think I did it wrong Think I did it wrong Think I did it wrong Think I did it, oh I tried Think I did, God I tried Think I did, God I tried Think I did, God I tried Think I did, oh God I tried I see it coming now I see the fear under your eyes I see it coming down I don't know whether to survive or not Hold me If you hold me Oh, I'll hold you If you need me Oh, I'll hold you if you need me, cause I need you to hold me. Here we stand, here we go, here we lie, don't go slow.
Thanks pal. What's this? White wine.
Do you want a white wine?
I love a white wine. Yeah? Wait. Keep singing.
It'll be there.
You have to sing for your wife. Oh, it was.
Um, do you know if you just want to go on this?
And there it is. Very good. Let's give this man a drink.
It's actually a dessert. Said rain Sound the alarm Open the lock Your map of hopes And breathe The time away
Would it matter much
if I asked you to stay? And I have buried you Deep inside
my gut
And I'll bury you Deep
inside my gut
To you I'm as bad as all that we had But it's no more Can you feel that? That I have buried you
Deep inside
my gut And I have buried you
Deep
inside my gut
You
had a
future plan And it didn't seem to co-align with mine And,
oh God, you
had a future While I'm just wasting time again I'm stuck Goddamn, don't you shoot me down Goddamn,
don't you shoot
me, pal But it was good It was fine, don't you think that all the time Don't you take it just because He didn't stay But I know now God, I know now God, I know now God, I know Turning pages on my notebook Everybody's watching me I feel like a narcissist Please look the other way, look the other way The other way. I'm barely turning pages on my notebook. If you wanna be happy, buy a Happy Meal. You can eat all you like.
What a great deal! I'm on a roll!
And it's gonna be a happy meal!
Gonna buy a happy meal!
This is the next one, Sam, are you? Ah, what can I say, I'm... The wine's doing good.
Enjoy.
Oh, please. Yeah, it's a real song. Kind of. But for me, it doesn't count.
Travelling
for my place But my place won't leave a person alone Who wants me to sit right with my words? Not forgiven, I'm moving on And when my shame comes into light I use the scripture, don't be a sleeping knight She makes a call Shut her down on the floor and lied to the
wall Finally
fired up in her mind, can't excuse what she's done
This is
my body, this is my home Your actions haunt me, I can't sleep alone This is my body, this is my home Your actions haunt me, I can't sleep alone And this is my body, this is my home Your actions haunt me I can't sleep alone, can't sleep alone Can't sleep alone, can't sleep alone
That's the last one, that's the last thing on my page.
No, can't be, it's just a blanket.
No, I don't get that. I don't get that.
Hang on, there might be something on my iPod. Okay. Oh, I hope you've got something on your skateboard. Let's just talk about skateboards.
Skateboard is big issue. Hi, what's your name?
I'm Larry.
Do you want me to come at you? I love you, mate.
I love you.
I love you more ways than one would be fair. Oh, thanks, thanks.
Hello?
I'm there.
I'm here.
What can I do for you?
Let's go for classic ways of sports. That can never fail.
You don't know?
What's that I told you, though? Feed me some more wine. Anytime.
Nothing's
been good, Dad. Goodbye. I suppose it's going to be harder
this time Under
the velvet moon I'll be dreaming soon but don't let me Oh, if you were one to do
I'd be here forever And stay forever,
too Is
it all natural?
Is it all that you have?
Goddamn, I've been getting older Cause I
don't know what I need in my life
Let's lose our shape I think I've noticed how you're not comfortable with your legs You're pressed on by the keys to the ground As the alarms are sounding The angels ring my heart
It's snowing.
And as cold as I catch my breath I feel tomorrow after our skips.
Like for us.
And I... But I hate you most not
This
fear in my head continues to roam I'm so fucking scared of being alone These sleeping pills don't work right These sleeping pills don't work right And I can't deny I bathe in your love and I hate you most not And I can't deny I bathe in your love but I hate you most not I'll kiss your fist till my lips bled And I'll spit blood till you taste it Is it love? Is it love? Don't make a cat spit Is it love? Is it love? Can I kiss your fist till my lips split? Can I spit blood till you taste it? Is it love?
Is it love?
Don't make you ask me Is it love? Is it love? Don't make you ask me Can I count to nine? Baby, you're a liar, but I hate you most.
