Becoming A Top Leader Series - Part 1 - The Foundation

Welcome to part one of the Becoming a Leader series. Hello, everybody, and welcome to our first webinar. Thinking about the things that we can talk about that would be possibly the most benefit to you, I thought about picking up the theme of getting your own software for winning, and that's why I've got winning 1.0. It's kind of like a software because as we know, it takes two things to win. You need a vehicle and you need a driver, which in your life is going to be. You see, it's the combination of those working together that's going to cause you to win in life. And it's like a computer. A computer's got to have software. You can have the greatest computer in the world, but without the right software, not going to be able to get the job done that you want. You know, this whole thing about vehicles and you. It's like winning the Kentucky Derby. Got to have the horse, got to have the rider. You want to win the Indy 500, you got to have the car and the driver and life. You've got to have your opportunities, the people you have relationships with, the jobs you do, things like that. And it's a combination of those opportunities you have that's like the computer. But you're the one who's got to be making the decisions. See, and if you're not programmed for winning, you're not going to have the success you can have. You influence. We talk about magic. See, the magic in these things comes down to you. You're the magic. And anything you come across in your life is going to be something. Your involvement, you're going to influence, how it turns out. There's just no way of getting around it. And you're going to make decisions based off what you have in your mind, what kind of knowledge, insight that you have. That's why it's important to have good foundations, good exposures, what's true, what's not true, what works for you. So you power whatever situation you're in by the energy you add. And you're the one. Things never go right all by themselves. You become the thermostat in the situation to control the environment, to control the results. And so this has to all come from you. So it seems like we'd be on the right track to spend some time talking about helping you get your own foundation for winning. I'm looking forward to talking about it because the more you focus on these things, the more you clarify the issues and the more things can jump into your mind that can help you improve so let's take a look at it and see. See, the issue is we all start here. We have our dreams, our want to's, we look around, we have those things inside us that we want to do. In other words, one version or another, we want to do it big. We want to make our mark. Now that of course, is going to have time. But what is the problem? We all know just having those doesn't cause it to turn out. Why is it that people roll around through life looking up here, always looking up, why can't I get off the ground? Why am I not good enough and others are able to do it? Well, it has to do with some ingredients. First of all, for you to get to where you want to go, you got to do a lot of work, but you've got to be able to develop, you've got to be able to improve. None of us good enough to do what we want to do in life when the idea pops in our mind, you know, eight year old kid enjoys playing football. Mom, I'm gonna. Dad, I'm gonna play in the NFL. Sure you are, son. Well, that might turn into a future NFL all star, but he's got to go through years of development and focus. Same thing with being a, you know, piano player, swimming, gymnastics, all of these things. Anything that you're, that drives you, that turns you on, excites you inside. You're not good enough to do it at the beginning, you got to develop. Now where does that development come from? It comes from a few people are able to do it by themselves or to get way up the ladder by themselves. But it helps if you get in a hot house type environment, like a greenhouse where you grow plants. You get them up to a certain size on their own. It's where you have an environment where you can excel, where you can grow, you can make mistakes, you can be encouraged, you can learn. And then you have mentors, people who coach you along the way. Those are the two big keys. But here's the problem a lot of people have. They'll get in the environment and they'll get the mentors. And then they start fighting. You know, they, they turn into their own worst enemy, make excuses, they blame others when things go wrong. They get totally off track. But that's why we keep saying, no matter what kind of advantage you have, environment, mentors, you got your dreams, you want to do it. The thing that makes the environment, the mentors, the dreams all come alive is you. You're going to be the make or break issue. And so that's why we want to focus in on winning 1.0, getting a game plan for doing, you know, for being successful and taking charge, making decisions, it's not a one time decision. It's got to come from you. You're the one who calls the shots. Now again, we say the magic is in you. The issue we need to realize is we're all born in a cocoon. Another book I'm writing On the top 10 myths about winners is we start off talking, we're all born in a cocoon. And inside this cocoon are all of the. We get our opinions, our viewpoints, our attitudes, our expectations of what we think we can get in life initially are all formed from the environment we grow up in. But when you're a little child, you're a baby, you're in your house, you don't realize you've got a limited exposure to the world. It's mainly your mom, your dad, your relatives, your friends. And what happens from this is you get out on your own and you started setting out. In life, you find out, of course, you know there's things you've got to learn, but you start to realize, well, hey, maybe there's some limiting beliefs there too that I've got to unlearn before I can start making the progress that I want to make. Here's a couple of keys. Once you start moving forward in your life to stay on track, maximize your progress, here's a couple of things. First of all, write down your lessons. It's your life. You have your skills, your situation, your time in life. Write down what works for you so you will remember it. It doesn't matter what's worked for other people. You've got to find out what works for you, you, and then pass it on to people who are coming up behind you. Pass on what you learned. This allows you to remember it. Because who wants to keep learning the same lessons over and over again? You want to write this stuff down. You want to be specific. When you're specific, then you can explain it. When you start talking, that deepens your understanding of it and makes it a part of you. Over here, you may have gotten lessons from other people. You learn, then you install them in your life. You find out it works, you write it down. Now it starts to become yours. It's not somebody else's idea that you tried on for a while, someone else's tool, someone else's illustration or phrase. It becomes yours. And as you talk, you explain, you pass it on to others. It buries it Deeper, it becomes part of you. You start to own it. You don't want to be just things you learn and you're parroting back. You want to learn it. That's what they tell actors. When you're an actor, part of the acting classes, don't just say the words. You know when they point to you, director points to you, action. You don't just blah, blah, blah blah blah. You're just saying the words. No, you've got to feel it. You feel that thing and you're ready to go. Then you say it. You don't just like blurt it out. Because I've memorized the words, I supposed to say these words because then it becomes phony. But you got to give yourself a chance to take that dialogue and make it you. How would you say that when you feeling that thing and then you say it and it comes from inside you. That's the difference about this stuff. And that becomes all of these things that you move forward in life, learn techniques of winning. You're going to be using these over and over and over again and you want to make them yours. Not just things you're parroting back or you're copying from other people. And this helps you remember, it helps you to stay inspired, excited, because you keep seeing the power of this stuff. And it also keeps you on track so you can keep moving up. See, once you find a winning track, you want to stay on the winning track. You, you don't want to get off track. So that's a couple of things to think about as we move forward. And then the other thing to think how this thing takes shape. Because it's important to get your viewpoint, your perspective. That's what we're kind of looking at right now. All of life looks like. Have you ever seen a baby at the bottom of the stairs? Soon as they can stand up, they crawl over. They stand up next to some stairs. If there's a stair there. What is he doing? It hikes its. It wants to. May not be tall enough, may not have a strength, flexibility yet, but it's trying to hike that leg up. What does the thing, what does the baby want to do? That baby, as soon as they see stairs, they want to climb it. Hey, this is life, folks. This is where you are. You see your dreams, you want to climb. It is in you. You don't have to come up with it. It's follow your natural curiosity, your natural compulsions, your natural infatuations, the things that turn you on, those are in there for a purpose. You're not supposed to. Now, of course, assuming it's legal, you're not supposed to feel bad about this. No, it's supposed to. These are the things that as you pursue it, it's going to release that greatness that's in. There's a reason you have the desire for this stuff and you should release it. And it's the same thing people criticize. Like if you go out there like a musical instrument, as soon as you sit down, the piano, the guitar, did the violin, you know, you're plunking around, you sound crazy, you sound terrible. That's not satisfying. You want to get to where at least for a few pieces of music, you can do it the way the professionals do it. You know, you want to play it well, you want to improve. You don't immediately look and say, how can I play chopsticks on the piano? That's my highest goal. You want to play something that sounds good. You want to play like something on the radio that you've heard, you know, you want to play the exciting songs, the fun songs. Well, that's all of life in life. You get in a job, you want to do well at it. And the extra effort is ultimately what gets you to head. When people play golf, they're always criticized. Well, you got your handicap to a 20 and now you want a 15. Now you're playing at a 10 and now you want to get to single digit handicap. Well, that's what makes it exciting, it makes it fun. That's all of life improving, keeps the fun factor up, keeps you stimulated, keeps you interested, and it keeps you at your best where you're not just going through the motions. It allows you to reach your potential. Those are the things to think about as you go through this thing. Follow the things that turn you on and don't feel bad if you're motivated for more because you're supposed to be motivated for more, to get better, to improve. That's really what winning is all about. Winning is not everybody plays baseball wins this World Series, everybody plays football wins the Super Bowl. It's just that you're improving in your chosen profession, sport, activity, you're getting better. The better you get at it, the more fun it becomes to do. So those are things to think about. And when I went up to North Carolina in 1978, 1979 was the first full year up there. It was just me, all alone, starting a new business, a scared in the world. Have you ever felt like that? That's the way we all are. Anytime we Start something new. A new job, a new sport, a new activity, a new relationship. You're all alone. You're full of fears and question marks. Will I be good enough? Am I going to be able to get functional fast enough to be able to succeed? Or is this going to be a waste of time? And the thing you got to realize, bigger the risk, bigger the reward. If you don't have those thoughts, you're not doing anything really worthwhile to begin with because there's no, you're not taking any kind of risk. So there I was. Now here's what I did. You got to put yourself to work. When you're starting in anything new, even if you've got a boss, that's no excuse for managing yourself. You've got to put yourself to work. This is 40 something years old. This is my activity from 1979. I was sitting in an office, a little tiny office. It was just me in the world and I was in a sales situation. I was attempting to build a marketing team, a sales team. But in the beginning, I was going to have to make sales to support myself while I was looking for recruits, which meant I had to make appointments. Now, before you make appointments, you've got to call, you got to find people, you've got to get them on the phone, you got to make the appointment, then you've got to keep appointments and then hopefully you get some results, you might make a sale, et cetera. But all this activity on the front end, lots of that led to all of this activity up here before it ever turned into any kind of income down here. I was after the income. I'm sitting in my office and I'm saying, I need to make money, I need to make money, I need to make money. That wasn't doing me any good. And so what I really had to do was I had to put myself to work. If you can't manage yourself, you're never going to be able to manage anybody else. And the better you can manage yourself, the more people you can keep up with. So I created this 3 by 5 card. This was how I put myself to work so I could start making some money and I could survive. I didn't know how it would turn out. I didn't know if I was good enough. I didn't know if I could get good enough, but I knew I was good enough to make some appointments. And so I had a jar, an activity jar, and I gave myself like one cent a penny for every call I made. And then I put a nickel in if they answered. You know, you got a lot of calling to do before anyone actually picks up the phone. So I gave myself a quarter for actually doing appointments. The idea I was trying to get across is activity equals money in the bank. I knew that I had to somehow convince myself that all of this running around was going to turn into results. And I knew that if I could get myself actually live. See, I never had a chance to make a sale or make money until I got down to this step here. But all of these things, I had to talk myself, trick myself, remind myself in that this activity of calling, setting, talking to people, all of that was leading me to money. And so I had this is my activity jars. I kept all of that up, had it on my desk. Every time I'd make calls, I'd throw pennies in the jar, nickels in the jar, dimes, quarters, and I would see that activity would start to build up in the jar. And regardless of how much money I had coming in, right there in the beginning, I knew things were going to turn out right because I was doing what I was supposed to do. See, the rule is, if you do enough of what you're supposed to do, things are going to turn out right. You're going to get enough positive response to be successful. But I just had to focus on what I could control, what I was supposed to do, not whether they were saying yes or no. They were answering the phone, they showed up for appointments. No. My job was to keep marching on, filling up my activity jar. And if I did that, eventually that's going to start turning into paychecks. It didn't happen very fast, but as a result, I had 160 contacts in January. And that's not a huge number for 30 days, but some people do that in a week. But you don't have to be a superstar if you just work then. I had 36 interviews. That's a little. Averaging a little bit over one a day. I had three recruits. Not a great turnout, and those three weren't that particularly outstanding, but it was a start. And then I did five proposals and I had one sale. So I had five people who said they wanted a proposal. I made one sale, and actually two out of my three recruits were not even in our market. They didn't even buy the product themselves, which is almost automatic with recruits, because they're not going to come to work for somebody if they don't believe product. But I couldn't even get recruits in the market, so I kept going, stayed with my activity jar back in February120. See, I had some people now that were asking me questions. I had to keep up with a little harder to keep my activity going. 120, 34 interviews, 6 got 3 sales. Picking up momentum. Not a lot of money. Picking up momentum. That's what will happen over a month's time. It seems like nothing's happening. But if you keep up with your numbers from a month to a year to year, you find out you really make pretty substantial progress if you keep working, if you keep your focus on building up your activity. You know, at each month I dump the jar and, and start filling it up again. And so at March 145, I'm pretty proud of March, March's activity because I had a lot of people to keep up with.32, I guess, presentations, and then got 20 of them. See, I'm getting in a better market. 20 of them decided they want to have proposals. We had six sales. So we're starting to pick up a little momentum there. What happens? And this is always the case if you do what you're supposed to do now, this is just 90 days. But then look at my contacts. I had people to keep up with now, but I didn't have time to do calling and everything for myself in months as much in months four and five. Even though I tried to keep it going. See, when I laid this card out, I planned to do it for the whole year. I didn't know if I was going to have to call, you know, 500 people, 5,000, but I knew was a big number. And so I was going to try and knock it out as much as I could each month. But by the time I'm getting down here in the fourth month of April, we'll look at this, the numbers are going up on things. I didn't even have trouble time keeping up with my card. And the last thing I could keep up with was, was this number here. And that is we had 62 proposals. We had 62 people who wanted proposals in the month of May where I was struggling to get anybody in January a few months. And so at this point I was spending all my time. I was the only trained person. I was trying to get my best and brightest people trained so they could help me, I could build up my management team. And that's what happened in June. I was able to promote up three full timers to management help. And actually by June, my income in June was over $7,000, believe it or not. And all of this started with me alone in the room all by Myself wondering what's going to happen now. Let's look going forward, going forward on this, what did this turn to after a year? So I'm there one year later, January 1, 1980. Whereas one year earlier I'd started with me all alone, now I had four. I'd expanded where I had four full time people. Not bad. See that little activity thing when I started there, I am calling, people are not answering, people are not picking up. People who do set appointments, don't show up. I'm in the office, I got every day, every minute of every day, got to make money, money. But I'm sitting in there, I just keep my mind on business. One year later we're up and we've got four full time people. I'm starting to build a team. That's what can happen now if you stay on track and you keep compounding, things can get bigger. You got to look at building a business or big organization like getting a college degree. Like this is my first year, my freshman year, didn't know anybody at the college, the business, whatever. But now I had four. I'd expand it. It wasn't just me against the world. But if you stay on track now, here's what can happen. This was one year later. This was starting off January. January 1, 1981, we went out, we had a huge. See in my first year we recruited, you know, 3 and 6 and 2 and 1. We didn't really have a lot of momentum. We're going up and down. But we started after the year one. As we went from started off 1980, we got a compounding game plan, a growth game plan. You got to have a plan. I had four people. But now we knew how to put into work and we started growing. And whereas in this whole first year we recruited 56 people, in the second year we learned how to compound. We went from, you know, 7 to 13 to 18 to 32 to 56 to 58 and the summer exploded to 147. And by the end of the year we had added up in fact November. In my first year we recruited three people in one month. Month of November we had three, October, November. A year later we had 300 in the same month 12 months later. And by the time the year was over, we had recruited a total of 1800 people. But see, it started with me back here. And these are the things can happen to you in life. And so whereas a year earlier I was up to, you know, right here, we had started, we had our four people, now we have people everywhere See, you're building a foundation. You've got to keep your eye off where you are and keep yourself to where you're. You're headed. That shows you it's just an example of what can happen. I was not good enough when I was starting here to be able to run and do the things that I had to do. Two years later, when we had recruited 1800 people and now I was the leader of a mob of full timers like this. I didn't have that experience here. And the lessons come fast and furious. And so you don't know what you don't know, but you can. When there's a lot of things you can learn in a day, a lot of things you can learn in a week and in a month, you add all that up. You can learn a lot and you can accomplish a lot. That's the story of what happened to me. And who knows that happens in tech, you know, the tech world. That happens in different industries. I don't know if that can happen to you. Odds are probably against you, but it happens. It happens in a variety of industries and it happens all the darn time because people go to work following the dreams that fascinate them. Keep their head down and they at least give themselves a chance for that to happen. Now here is one year later. We stayed with a game plan. Now look, how about that? That was the management team. And at this point, halfway through this year, I got promoted up to regional vice president and in the company. Nine months later, after being promoted, our team, we went to number one, our training center. And this was in April. I got promoted in July. But see, when you have a big army like I just showed you, there's not a whole lot of people that can compete with you. However, out of that army, I had promoted somebody else out and he was number seven in the company. So we had taken the number one in seven spots, whereas. And that was our ninth month in business at the highest level. So these are the kind of things you can look forward to happening to you. And when the convention rolled around and I still. You can see this. If you look at this close, you see it's kind of beat up. This, this plaque, not an expensive plaque, but this is back at the A Williams era. I went from a nobody. The little, the little guy with one little circle in an office, no money, all the pressure, put myself to work with me and my little activity jar, my little pennies, nickels and dimes. Here's what, here's where I was two and a half Years later, well, two years and three months later, I was the number one regional vice president of the company. Essentially, this was the MVP award in that era out in San Francisco. And so, folks, these are the things that you can look forward to happening to you if you focus on doing what you're supposed to do. And, you know, you get in the good environment, you get yourself planted in a good opportunity, and then you put your head down and go on the attack, and you create the opportunity for your mentors, your environment to pay off for you. What we're talking about is you going from being an amateur to being a pro, making things happen in your life. In other words, all of these little items out there where you're, you're here, you're sitting, and, boy, I would love to do that. I'd sure like to get there in a hurry, if possible. I'd like to go boom, get there immediately. And so where most people go, they wind up getting started. They do a face plant, get discouraged, and that's just another area of their life that was a failure. But it's more than just business. Say that's your business thing. People who fail in business are usually failing in the other areas of their life, too. Not always, but usually because the patterns that work. I had a fellow worked with me one time who was incredible at working with his choir, and he had the choir show up on Wednesday night, and when they walked in, he had all the material laid out for him and. And the robes were already prepared and the songs. And he knew, you know, what, they had little dollar jars to put in there, the people who were laid. He had everything organized to a science and how they practiced. It was like a football team, and they had the best choir in town. Well, see, knowing those things put him in a perfect position to be able to succeed in business because he could use those same techniques here. But all of life, anything you want to do, if it's with your. Your family, you want to get a vacation, you want to start spending more quality family time doing things together, or you, you want to start getting in shape, all of these are going to revolve around, you know, you want to make more of a contribution with your church. Well, what exactly is it? And you got to get started and each of these along the way. What will happen is you start off and there's a bunch of unknowns. You're going to have to be able to make that happen. So it's important for you in your personal life in the winners club here. Let's start Getting specific about what you want to have happen. Because the thing is you want to have happen is chances are it's not happening right now. So you're going to have to get here, get going, and get in the process of learning the things. And they'll probably be 10,000 things. And you have to do and learn, depending on, you know, something that you want to really master. But the thing is, everything you learn puts you a little closer to it. Everything you learn is something you can use for the rest of your life. Not only here, but all of the other things that you're going to want to accomplish too. So I. I don't know on your goals, if. Let's break these things down. Let's get that, you know, you can certainly some people, as you get, you know, give yourself time, but you'll get to where you're down to every hour. You can keep up with every hour, every day. You've got the down to a science, but at least you can do the week and the month, the month and the year. So a year from now, here's where I want to be. But you're not going to start really making it happen until you get specific. So the thing that I would encourage you to do, start writing these things down. It's for you. You don't have to show them to anybody. Sometimes it's better if you don't show them to someone. Now, when I went to North Carolina, I did not know what I did not know, but I knew there was a certain amount of work for me to get to where I wanted to go to build my income up, build my business and income. I knew there was a certain amount, a mystery amount of work and in other words, things I had to do. There's always that portion if it's learning a language. There's certain amount of things you've got to do to learn the words and the practice and the stuff. Like if you want to learn a musical in certain amount of practicing and certain things that you've got to get fundamentals, you got to get behind you before you can move on. So there's always going to be certain things I had to do. Now, when that's why I had the activity jar, I didn't know. The mystery was how much. My goal was not to do a minimum. See, I'm trying to get up here, I'm in a hurry. What most people do is like, what's the average? What does the minimum person do? That's no good. What's the fastest anyone has ever done what's the quickest? What's the most progress I can make in a day? And so it's like going to the gym and getting where you can lift weights every day. You start by you going there and you do as much as you can, knowing that if you stay with it, you're going to be able to do more quicker, more quicker, more quicker, more quicker. And you're just going to get better and better at it. And better means you're going to be more efficient. You can do the same thing in less time. So as far as your progress down may. That's why you see a lot of these graphs, growth chart graphs. You see people down here, you know, they'll be very slow in the beginning and then they'll start to get better and then skyrocket growth. It almost looks like they had overnight success. Well, what was happening down here is they were learning how to get good. And it's usually not a straight line. It's up and down, up and down, up and down. But you average it out. See, that's what happens in the early stages. You can't let yourself get frustrated because you're not making incredible progress right from the beginning because you're putting yourself in a position that to be able to make incredible progress. They ask Michael Jordan, or they would always say to Michael Jordan, you know, Dean Smith, his coach at Carolina, they said Dean Smith was the only person who was able to hold Michael Jordan under 20 points a game. They were kind of kidding. You know, no defender could hold him under 20 points a game. But his coach could, his college coach. And what Michael Jordan said was, no. And see, this was his college career. You know, he started off, he was in high school, then he went to college. And he said, no, Dean Smith was teaching me how to score 30, 40 points a game. He wasn't holding me under 20. He was teaching me how to score an average more than 20. See, he understood the perspective, understood what was going on there. And so it's. You'll be able to keep yourself on track if you understand. As Michael Newman told me a long time ago, as I was learning how to ride horses, jump horses and compete in show jumping and I was falling off and making a total a fool of myself in the process of getting injured and everything else and feeling like a dog. I remember coming out of the ring one time and Michael sitting there in supreme rider. He's only like 17 years old, but wise beyond his years. He looked down from the horse and said, it'll only get better. I'VE never forgotten that. And guess what? It did. He said, it'll only get better. Don't worry about it. See, that's where the environment, that's where mentors work for you, where you get around, where people who understand the process but you, if you are going to make the most progress, need to get to where you will. Start writing these things down, get specific and don't worry that you're not that good at it. You'll get good at it, you'll get better, and so line these things out. Where do you want to go? Get started on the track and make adjustments. Because a lot of these things you learn. You start to move here and say, oop, that doesn't work. Let's make a correction there. But if you're not measuring it, you haven't written it down. You don't know what you expect to get done during the day, what you expect to get done during a week. You let yourself slide. You do, like a lot of people, their ostrich approach. This is why people go down, down, down, down, down. It's one thing to have a see, you got to be the person who gets discouraged. You don't stay discouraged. You got to be somebody that gets depressed. Everybody gets depressed, but you can't stay depressed. See winners. Everybody goes through these things, but the people who overcome. See, you want to train to become an overcomer. You're not training to become perfect. You're training to become someone who goes through all the experiences everybody else does, but you overcome them, stay on track, get right back on your horse. If you get thrown off and you keep heading to where you want to go, and if you're not measuring, if you haven't been clear to yourself about what is really important to you, what really matters to you and how fast you want to make it happen. And you keep. You take an ostrich approach where you just hide from the numbers, make excuses all the time. You're going to lose the benefit. And see, these are the people who just keep going down. It's not that they couldn't, it's just that they handle it the right way. You've got to be able to make the adjustments, use the environment and the mentors. See, the environment and the mentors are not going to do you any good unless you take advantage of them and stay on track. Because what you're trying to do here, this is the steps breaking out of your cocoon of where you were born. Let's just say I want to learn how to speak Spanish well, in My world, we didn't speak Spanish, so I've got to break out of that limitation. Somebody else was raised in a home where they spoke Spanish. By five years old, this kid is going to speak Spanish better than I will in my entire lifetime because of the cocoon he or she was raised in. So if you, as you move forward, see, this is all the process of you expanding, breaking yourself out, freeing yourself up, and creating more options for yourself. Because, again, like we said, every time you reach a huge goal, it opens up doors, more options. Now, there's a whole range of great things you can do because you moved yourself up to this level. And so there's a lot of things you learn as you go up this thing. One of the big things. And you see this played out on television, on the golf tournaments with even big. Tiger Woods. Tiger woods, his big goal in life is 18 majors. He wants to win more majors than Jack Nicklaus in his career. He's already at 79 tournaments. He just won his last one. 79 tournaments, 14 majors, and he wants to get those last. But since he's been 8 years old, he's had this target in his mind. So he measures. He's very clear to him. He measures everything pretty much by majors. Of course, he loves winning tournaments, but what makes it a great year for him is if he won a major during that year, and they have. There's four majors every year. But what happens is it's been 20 majors, it's been four or five years or longer since he's won a major. And this is just unheard of for Tiger Woods. So what you see him, because these are so important to him, where he gets in. And in these tournaments, he may play great, but then when he comes on Sunday or right at the end, he's been blowing them left and right because he gets. When he starts to make mistakes, he. He has a problem handling the grief. And so you've got. One of the big problems is handling the fact that you're not perfect. You want this so bad. Just like Tiger, he wants this so bad. He's worked so hard. When he gets started, even when he's in a position to win, as soon as a mistake or some kind of imperfection comes in, he just falls apart. And as a result, he winds up losing on Sunday, a tournament. If he had just relaxed, had just given himself a chance and not expected himself to be perfect on Sunday, he could come in and have won a lot of these recent majors that he was in a position to win. But he's in the process of learning how to handling. Handle his emotions. See, emotions, they run their own course. You know, that's your autonomic nervous system. That's adrenaline. It has a life of its own. But you got to learn how to handle that stuff, keep a perspective. You got to learn to say, when it goes wrong, hey, that's a disaster. We had a slump. We made a mistake, but it's not the end of the world. We'll win anyway. Will overcome. You get so close to your goal, and then you start sliding down. You say, yeah, here's where you got to keep perspective. Yeah, we may have lost a little time, might have had a little slump. It might be the end of the tournament. I might have had a four or five stroke lead. Now I'm down. I'm barely leading. Or, you know, I've got. Got to go, but I'm starting to. Starting losing. You say, look, look how far I am. Okay, look, look how little is left to go. Forget about this little. This little imperfection and get your eye back on here. That's what you've got to do. That's the process of winning. You don't want to be your own worst enemy. You don't want little problems to knock you off track. You want to be teachable, coachable, flexible. You got to be willing to change all of us who've gone through this process. The hardest thing is being willing to admit things. And so let's just look at this. This is right off of YouTube.

It's just there's all this pressure, you know, and sometimes it feels like it's right up on me, and I can just feel it, like, literally feel it in my head, and it's relentless, and I don't know if it's gonna stop. I mean, that's the thing that scares me the most, is that I don't know if it's ever gonna stop.

Yeah, well, you do have a nail in your head.

It is not about the nail.

Are you sure? Because, I mean, I'll bet if we.

Got that out of there, stop trying to fix it.

No, I'm not trying to fix it. I'm just pointing out that maybe the nail is causing.

You always do this. You always try to fix things when what I really need is for you to just listen.

See, I don't think that is what you need. I think what you need is to get the nail.

See, you're not even listening now.

Okay, fine. I will listen. Fine.

It's just sometimes it's like there's this achy. I don't know what it is. And I'm not sleeping very well at all. And all my sweaters are snagged. I mean all of them.

That sounds really hard. It is.

Thank you.

Ow. Come on. If you would just don't. All right, folks. You don't want to be your own worst enemy. You don't want to be holding yourself back from getting where you want to go, continually failing time and time again simply because you won't admit the obvious.