Episode #544 - Why You Need To Start Taking Care Of Yourself with Matt Shoup

Welcome to this edition of the Million Dollar Mastermind podcast. This is where we pick the brains of high achievers from all walks of life and get their hard earned real world insights on winning. I'm your host, Larry Wydell.

The better we get at communication, the easier we make our lives. You know, that's one takeaway for us all to take from this. I'm talking to myself too now. Share with people the experience and I will tell you this. Going through and making sure those words I kind of gave in to my ghostwriter quite a bit because she, she was, she was more persuasive than me. When it came to the final thing, it's like, trust me, I've written all these great books, this, that and the other, you know, for all of these politicians and you know, this, trust me, you know, this is how it communicates. Well, you know where I fell apart on that, it just not all the way through. But when it came time to read the book into audible, you know, for the audiobook, if it's not your words, you get tongue tied, you know, and you have to go back. Okay, yeah.

You hear yourself saying it and you say, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say this in my, in my normal conversation. Like I, I don't use this word or this.

Yeah. So the more words, the more you're going to save yourself reef when it comes time to read that book for the audio version for Amazon. But talk about the experience of coming through that, writing the book and it doesn't sell itself because there are a lot of people that have made it through writing the book and then they're shocked that it doesn't sell itself. You know, so I've got time writing books and then they don't, they, you know, they're like you, you know, like, I'm sure you've got friends, the same thing. They see you write a book and say, okay, I wanted to write a book, okay, now I'll do it. But then there's prize and not all the marketing works, but you've got to do marketing, you know, and a lot of it's to find out what works and what doesn't work. But what, what have you found out about marketing a book?

You know, what I found out is, well, I'll kind of even back up one step is it's like, well why, why are you writing the book? You know, I meet so many, you know, business owners and they, they did a self published paper back. They, they, they wrote it, you know, right. Proof, read it once and it's like their business card, right? So it's like, you know, they're an author. They're, they're an author technically on paper. But it's like, are you an author, you know, like where you are going out and you have a message to share and you're really passionate about it? So I didn, I didn't know that when I wrote the book. I just thought people are going to be like, oh, Matt, yeah, buy, buy his book. But you, it's just like anything, you know, with painting. I was knocking on doors. I knocked on this many doors. I did this many proposals. It's like, what is the method you're going to use to sell that book? And there's, there's so many ways you can do it. I'm going to go on a podcast. They'll definitely be listeners that purchase your book. I bumped into a guy in Las Vegas, kind of a crazy story. It's. I'm an early riser. I'm in Las Vegas five in the morning, waking up to start my day. You know, a lot of people are wrapping up their evening. There's this really cool gentleman just, he sits there, he goes at 4am every morning and he has a little sign. He's a realtor and he has a book. So he's got his realtor sign in his book and people walk in and he sells, you know, two or three books a day. Right? So you do that every day. That's a thousand books a year. Like, that's, that's his method. He's committed to that. He's passionate about the message that he's sharing. So you have to, there needs to be a bigger reason behind it because it's, it's a huge time investment, it's a huge financial investment. Whether you're directly paying for these services to put the book together, you're also stepping away from whatever your earning potential is and you've got to be committed and you've got to look at it through a, through a 10 year, a 10 year window, you know, um, again, your method, Your method is, is your method.

Yeah. And so talk about now what you've learned by speaking to other groups, you know, and basically, yeah. Are you continuing to learn, you know, that's what you know are. How motivated are you compared to when you got started? As you know, you're, you've gone, you know, you're 5, 10, 15, 20 year stages along the journey. Being an entrepreneur, has it been worth it? You know, would you, can you imagine yourself doing anything Else, how's your life? What kind of life have you been able to build for yourself?

Yeah, so a lot of questions there. You know, I, I am definitely still, still motivated. I'd say more motivated. You know, in 2005, I'm, I'm fired. I need to make $2,800 in 28 days, and I know how to go do it. Knocking on doors. So back then, hey, I'm Matt. I want your money. Like, you know, I'm not, I'm not talking about purpose, vision, pouring into people, leadership, being vulnerable. I'm like, give me your money. Like, it was, it was, you know, coggin, and we'll make the numbers work. And now, like, you have kids, whoa. I'm responsible for teaching them lessons about life. And, ooh, I have kids now. I'm really seeing, you know, some, some past, say, traumas or things that I went through in my childhood that I'm like, seeing pass over to my kids. Well, I've got to deal with that. I've got to go on this journey of self discovery and finding out that I can be a better person. And, and business is a vehicle to help me do that. So my motivation is the. It's stronger than it was and it's for. For different reasons. But, gosh, I know I could not imagine ever working for anybody ever again, you know, after getting a taste of, of business, something I love, something I'm great at, and it's something that others need. And I really view everything as like, how do you go out and help people every day? You know, how do you make their lives better? You know, we own six companies technically here, and everyone's a little different. We have a jiu jitsu academy. We sell an online drywall repair tool. And in different ways, we get to help people make their life better. That's the consistent theme.

What is the hardest thing you've gone through? You know, you talked about showing vulnerabilities and this and what did you. What is the, would you say the hardest thing you had to go through? Because again, that's where, you know, make or break type things. You know, it can put you out of the game or it can teach you lessons that you use the rest of your life.

Yeah.

What was the most painful? Like, this is hard.

Yeah, you know, I think so. So personally, I grew up in a very. Just angry environment where I learned the anger emotion at a very young age. And I'm not saying that that emotion can't get you places. Right. Like when I got fired from the Bank. It was, it was F you. I'm going to go make a million dollars. And then like that, that drove me. But then I saw that emotion starting to overflow right into like, hey, I see, you know, my, my three year old gets pissed off and you know, throws his train across the window, across the room, hits the window, kicks over, you know, kicks over a little table. I'm like, oh, he, he didn't just learn that on his own. Like Elmo didn't teach him that on tv, you know, kind of a thing. So I think really, really getting called out. I mean business, business stuff aside of like, hey Matt, you know, somebody called me out, he's like, how are you showing up to life is, is what you're showing your, your kids the way that you want them to grow up. And I had to take a hard look at, you know, how, who, who.

Was that in turns? That was a friend or a older, a mentor or. What would you say? Who is that?

Yeah, it was, it was a, it was a couple of different people. Yeah, a couple of different people in a couple of different ways. We were in a business mastermind group where we got together with other business owners and the, the gentleman that was running it, he did, he had a background in neuro linguistic programming and lp. There's a lot of the programs and everything that you run and I'm a pretty hard headed dude. So I'd say, you know, 90, 98% of the general say population like you and I, I think we have the same energies. Like not a lot of people are going to walk up to us and say, hey Larry, man, I got a beef with you. Did you know you're being a real dick and look you right in the face and say that? Right? Like no one's going to say that. This guy just came out and said it to me and, and I was like, okay. I was in an environment where, you know, there was an understanding that we were going to get vulnerable. And that was kind of the first guy to call me out. And then another big part of my life is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. So I had a lot of, a lot of one training partner in particular. He was like, man, did you know that? You know, you're really, you're, you're really intimidating. You know, people are very intimidated to engage with you both physically in your jiu jitsu and you're fighting, you're grappling, but then also just in a verbal conversation. So, so it was situations like that and it wasn't one that was Big and eye opening. It was kind of the culmination of a lot of them. And then me stepping back and going, hey, these guys are right. Because my knee jerk is to be like, get out of here. What are you talking about?

And it's so easy to be a bully and not be aware you're a bully, you know, and especially the leader. And it's amazing. You know, I'm very. I've always been very conscious. I don't say I've necessarily always done a great job of it, but I've always been really conscious that if I'm in front of a group, you know, in an Even in an office or a manager meeting, this, that, and the other, I darn well better feel good before I get there. Because if I feel bad, if I'm worn out, I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm overwhelmed with a certain problem. When I show up, they're gonna see wrinkles in my face that I can't hide, you know?

Oh, yeah.

They're gonna think it's because of something they did. You know what I'm saying?

And you don't.

They won't tell you that, but they're gonna be like, oh, he's mad at me. Oh, what did I do? You know? And you create more trauma for yourself than you do good by showing up and having what you think is a real gung ho meeting. But when you've wound up again, the body language sends a different signal. So you really have to. And this speaks to. We'll wrap up on this. Taking care of yourself as you get more pressures. You got six jobs, you got family, you've got responsibility, you got people calling you to, you know, over commitment is always a big thing. But there's over commitment with things you really want to do, you know, there's over commitment with things you don't want to do. But the frustrating thing is we get over commitment of things you really want to do. You want to go speak there, you want to go meet these people.

It's hard to say no when you love it. Yeah, it's hard to say no.

You want to take your family over there, and you want to start this new product line, you know, and you want to. And so you're running ragged and you can get strung out. I mean, it can happen just like that. Especially as a business person, it always seems like it's feast or famine in business, you know, and so balancing that is something I bet you've had to learn.

Yeah, absolutely. It's, you know, I Joe, I joke, like, when I hear the word balance and time management, I go, where?

Yeah.

Like, I'm never balanced, you know, So I spent. You know, if you would have Talked to me 30 days ago, I wouldn't have been able to talk to you because I'm down in the book. I'm like, you know what? Can't. Can't talk to you. I'm doing the manuscript. And now. Now I'm enjoying that. I don't have as much work right now. I'm taking a breather. You know, I had a couple extra dates with my wife at lunch this week, so there's always, you know, there's always a little ebb and flow, but I got really good. I felt like I got really good over the years at determining, okay, for this specific time period, you know, what is important, what. What am I going to prioritize, plan, execute, and evaluate on in terms of. Because you can't manage time. We all have the same amount. But it's like, here are the tasks I have at hand. Why am I doing them? Why are they important? But, yeah, carving out time just to. Just for your own mental sanity and health and, you know, being able to explore your story, where you've come from, where you're going, why you want to go there. It's been. It's been really important for me.

Yeah. And I really think you nailed it there. The answer to the balance thing, if you worry about balance, you'll always be paranoid. Am I in balance? But the thing is, it's more priorities. And if you've got your priorities change at different times in your life, it's like if it's. You spent the whole summer planting your crop, and today is harvest time, and you got to get it done today, tonight, and get it in before the rain comes tomorrow. That's balance. It's, you know, the balance is prioritizing, getting that in. We'll worry about the other stuff tomorrow. You know, your kids got a call. Okay. We'll go to the doctor tomorrow, you know, take some cough medicine. I got to get that hay in, you know, and it's within reason, you know what I'm saying? But the thing is that it's more of a priority thing, and where you have. And that's. Isn't that the great thing about being your own business? What you really earn is the right to have. Decide what your priorities are and to pursue those priorities?

Absolutely. Yeah. No, that's a. That's a big, big part of it.

Let's go. And I want to give you a last word but kind of a final word to wrap up. What would you want people to take away from listening and you know, and they can plug in at your websites?

Oh absolutely. Yeah.

And we'll get all of those, have those listed out. But you could say them now. The name, the books. The books are. The book that's already out is.

Yeah. So the book that's already out, it's become an award winning company and then the book that's coming out is Painted baby. And that should be out, should be out in January. But yeah, everything you can find everything you know about, about me, everything that I do and offer just on my website, matt shoup.com I'm sure you'll link it up on your, on your show.

Right. Thank you. And let's stay in touch and let's get back together down the road and I'll hear how the book went and how your new adventures. You know, by then you'll probably be up to 10 or 12 companies.

See, I'll let you know.

All right, let's stay in touch. Thanks so much, Matt. This has been great.

Thanks Larry. Take care, man. Nice to talk to you.

Bye bye.

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