Episode 79: Learning Leadership Fast in Vietnam with Super Sergeant Larry Stephens

Welcome to this episode of the Million Dollar Mastermind. I'm Larry Weidell, and let's get started. I'm here today with my longtime great friend from Palm Beach, Florida, Larry Stevens. And Larry is a giant of an influential man in many areas of life. But he earned his credentials early in life coming back from there's military service, which I'm sure he'll let you know. But going into financial services and making a big impact in Chicago. And so let's hear. Let's hear from Larry Stevens. Larry, welcome. Glad to have you with me today. I'm looking forward. This is gonna be a lot of fun.

Okay, great. By the way, who's gonna be Larry today and who's gonna be cousin?

We're just gonna be. I'll be Cousin.

Okay, you be Cousin and I'll be Larry.

Yeah, there you go.

Good. Then I won't get confused by who I am.

Yeah.

Great. Okay. Well, I'm Larry, otherwise known to some people as Uncle Larry or Larry Stevenson. I was born halfway between Loganville and Monroe, Georgia, in a little town called Between. And I made a lot of jokes about that speaking over the years, and basically grew up relatively unsuccessful, barely unremarkable youth from an unremarkable family. The one thing I did learn as a kid was to value work. I finally got out of high school and I was unremarkable in high school. If you got my high school annual book, you'd see almost nothing in there because I was terrible at football, I couldn't cut it in the band, I was overweight, had bad complexion, and I surely wasn't a hit with the ladies. But somehow another. I managed to just dig and scratch and find something that I could do. And I got a foot in the door of the bond business in Chicago. I was going to school full time, trying to avoid getting drafted for Vietnam. And sure enough, I got that letter. Did you ever get that letter, cousin, that says your friends and neighbors required the gift of your service to your country?

No. I was gifted with a draft lottery number of 348. So that meant with my birthday would be the 348th one drawn out of the pot that told you you had to go. Yeah, So I. I won the lottery. That was me winning the lottery.

I'd like to win a lottery, but I didn't win that one. Well, anyway, I knew my friends and neighbors didn't want me, but I was then, and until now, patriotic. I love the country. So I showed up when I was supposed to show up. And like a Lot of life. I took my time in the military as a challenge, and I wanted to do the very best that I could at it. And I succeeded in the training. Within my first year of training, I'd made it to Staff Sergeant E6. It usually takes five, six years to do that. And I hit the ground running in Vietnam as a platoon sergeant, and my first week in country, we went into a hot combat assault, which is coming in for those that don't watch a lot of TV for that period. We come in on helicopters and you're getting ground fire, so you're all trying to scramble to get off the helicopter at once. And the first lieutenant had his head cut clean off. And I thought to myself, lord have mercy, I've been in this country one week and I'm in charge of the destiny of these 35 infantrymen. Just help me get through this. So that's how it started in Vietnam, and that's how I got to be a platoon leader. And I'm looking at my medals here on the wall, actually, Larry, as we're talking. And I've received from that war every medal that an infantry can get, except I didn't get the Silver Star and I didn't get the Medal of Honor, but I was as good a soldier as I could be. And then when I came back in 1970, well, those weren't good days for ex soldier coming back, and those were tough times for our country. What were you doing in 1980, Larry?

1980, I was working and raising a family. And actually I moved up to North Carolina and started that expansion program up there. And we were just actually my second year up in North Carolina. So that was the big, the big explosion here. So that brought you. How did you do any, any experiences from being in that pressure cooker hellhole of the war and the responsibility that kind of galvanized you or, you know, you learn, you learn what works and what doesn't work. You know, it's not a time for theories when you're in war, but were those, were there some forming experiences there, light bulbs that went on in your mind about surviving and being successful while you were over there in that position?

Oh, no question. One of the things that I didn't even know that was a part of me that I refined during that time was a sense of personal control. I was immediately cast into a role of leadership, and I had to learn to control my environment and to control the environment of these other guys as best as I could to use all the help that I could get from the other services that were available to me, because if you don't control your environment, the environment is going to control you. And that would have led to an unhealthy ending, probably even to death for me and some of the men I was with. So when people say to me today, they say, Larry, your approach to, to the day's work, your approach to your career, it seems awfully goal oriented. And you seem like you're a very controlling sort of person. And I have to admit that that's the truth and without any shame. Because if you can maintain a sense of balance in your personality, if you can control the, your sense of discipline in your life, you can add value to others.

And how did that play out, you know, when you were thrust into that role, how did that play out and how did that make a difference and allow you to elevate your performance and that of your team? When you say control the environment where you don't know what's happening from one minute to the, the next. And there's always a certain amount of things you can do to control things. And rather than just throw up your hands and give up, so what, what did you wind up doing at a young age? So what are things you did to maintain your. Keep yourself on track and keep your unit focused?

Are we talking about that time in the war or came back and I in the business world.

Well, I'm curious when the war. Right now, just for just a little bit, but we get into the business in a minute. But do you remember things you did that maybe was different than what some of the other leaders over there did? Usually in every situation, there's good examples and bad examples to learn from. And obviously you, you were getting clues about how you had to operate. You're getting those signals from somewhere. And how did that inform what actions you took over there?

Okay, how about if I, I'll give you a living illustration and I hope that it doesn't offend anybody with, with just the blood and guts of, you know, that comes with.

They're gonna, they're gonna. Yeah.

Into the war.

Yeah, they're gonna have to, have to, have to accept it. I mean, this is what life is, you know, so go ahead, don't worry about it.

Yes, well, that first week, we started with that story where I went into my first hot CA and then the company commander sent out a E7 that was a lifer he'd been in about 20 years. And he said, now, Larry, this guy's going to show you the ropes. Actually, they call me Super Serge, he said, ss, this guy's going to show you the rope. So, you know, you guys kind of work together with this leadership thing for a while and then we'll see how that goes. So I had to defer to him and our orders were to move from one point to another point and between the two points was a whole lot of vegetation and there was an easy path. And he said to me, hey, we're going to take this well worn path because we can get there a lot quicker and the walking will be easier. And I used a bad word and I said, no, we're not going to take that path because all our training says don't take that path because that's where the ambush will come and someone will die. And we had an argument and he said, hey, I'm in charge here. We're going to do that. We're not going to go through the bushes, we're not going to cut our bodies on the bridge briars and with our machetes, we're going to take the easy path. I was walking third man out of 30. It was the point man and the machine gunner and then there was me. And we're walking the easy path that I was told to take. And we walked right into an ambush. And the guy in front of me, he went down and bullet came from the side and it split his belly and his intestines jumped out. And I jumped on top of him and I pushed him back inside him and grabbed up bandages from the other guys. And that was my first encounter of a real close and personal nature of knowing that you don't ever take the easy path. And I let somebody else talk me into that. And after the ambulance helicopter come and taken him away, I gave that guy an earful of it. I gave the company commander an earful of it. And the CO came out and a helicopter and I thought, well, this is it, they're going to take me to jail because I just told the CO where he could go. So the CO was marching towards me real fast. He was a short little guy and he said ss he said, I'm sorry I stuck you with that guy. I see you know what you're doing, so good luck. Call me if you need help. And that was the first real lesson that I learned was if you believe in yourself and you believe that you know what the right thing to do is, even though it's difficult, that's the call you gotta make. And that's what I did the rest of the time. And I'm Thankful to say that in the year I was there, we had some injured, included myself, but I never lost a man to death in the field.

Absolutely incredible. And you know, they say, you know, you grow up fast in those kinds of situations. How were you aware of the kind of transition you were going through at that time or were you just trying to survive?

More of the latter. I had a certain sense, as I said earlier, that I had to control the environment for these guys. So there was no question that I had to let them know that I was their authority figure. And that doesn't work as well in civilian life. I understand, but that wasn't civilian life. And they knew they could count on me. They knew I was going to be there for them. But beyond that, I really, in the war experience, I didn't have any sense that I was growing as a person. But then of course, when I got out and I looked back on it, I could see a tremendous amount of growth in myself. But that was only after it was over.

And when you, when you're in those situations, I mean, we're always surrounded by good and bad role models. And you know, you just gave a perfect example there. And I guess as you moved up and moved through your, you were able to pick up more and more ideas. What are things that you learned from running a team like that? Because, you know, you've always been in a position of influence and leadership and people looking to you. It's also interesting, someone pointed this out the other day, that most people make an impact, they're really make an impact early. And they talked about athletes, you know, Tiger woods, you know, you know he won early, Tom Brady won early. They talk about this. Patrick Mahomes, he won early. And so, you know, you're going to show, you show what you've got pretty much if you've really got an outstanding ability, knack or drive or insight into how to perform form in a situation that's going to show up. And it doesn't take years for that to show up. And you were talking about like already they identified you as super Sarge because you've made up your mind to hit the ground running and make the most of the opportunity and took in the military. It's not see what I can get away with, but took it as a challenge to see how much I could achieve. And so how did you pass those things on to your. Or did you even worry about passing that on to your team? And how, how was your, your, how is your team set up out in the field? Was there so much turnover, you. You couldn't keep up with people, or how did you go about accomplishing what you needed to accomplish over there? I know I'm digging deep on that, but.

Oh, I know it's good. I'll answer it, and I'll answer it in two different ways. I'll answer the easy thing first. The easy thing. And it's just on the surface, the army has a way of doing it, and you do it the Army's way. And, you know, that's just kind of how it is. There. Some things you can't change. They only send you food and new bullets every three days. So you got to make everything last for the three days. And you earn a certain amount, you learn a certain amount of organizational skills, and you learned that there's two or three guys that you can count on, and you put those three guys in positions of leadership beneath you, and you lean more heavily on those guys than anybody else, and then you just kind of let it flow. I think probably the most important thing that I learned regarding my initial role in leadership and being an influencer was while I had to show I was the authority figure in military in a war, realized that doesn't work as well in civilian life. But despite the fact they could count on me, and despite the fact that I was the leader and I was in control of myself and the unit, I still had to deal with each and every individual soldier that was under my command with the gifts and skills and the personalities and the emotions that they brought to the table. I couldn't deal with a fellow from New Jersey who'd never been in the woods at all with a guy that grew up in Kentucky, had been shooting all of his life. You had to assign responsibilities to people that could carry those out, and then you had to give responsibilities, maybe to the guy from New Jersey, to be the radio transmission operator, because that was more up his alley than walking point and being the first guy to fire. So it was a combination for me, and I really didn't even reflect on it at the time. But looking back, being a leader early in my life, it was a combination of leadership, yet knowing who I could pick as my lieutenants. And then I had to deal with every person on their own merit.

Well, I. What's so fascinating, Larry, about this is that the thing. You were very young. How old were you from while you were there?

It's funny you say that. I was 23, and I thought that was young, but I was the oldest guy in my entire company. I was older than the company commander, because they were drafting, you know, such young people.

And the thing is that, you know, you hadn't been to a leadership people. You know, I was listening to Jerry Seinfeld and his Comedians in Cars getting coffee and everything, and he was talking to somebody about going to a six. You know, their kids were in the same. Whoever the comedian was, I think it's George stephanoffice, his wife, I forget her name. But their kids go to the same school and they were just recently at a sixth grade graduation. And he said, he said they're up there talking about this is such a critical point in their lives and, you know, such a transition and a difficult thing and the fragility of going from elementary school to junior. He said, what a bunch of garbage. He said, I could hardly keep my mouth shut while they were up there on stage. He said, he said, nobody, nobody worried about us when we were growing up. He said, these kids are so pampered. And baby, he said, when they get the real world, they're all going to fall apart, you know, and if anybody's kids are pampered, it should be Jerry Seinfeld's, you know, but, you know, it's obvious you can overthink things. And you got people going to leadership school reading leadership books after leadership book and, you know, our good friend engulfing buddy John Maxwell has written what, 35, 40 of them. And some people, they never get the lessons that you, you got by being thrown into a pressure situation where, you know, the deadline was there, the job was there, the consequences were there, and you had to go. And that's why I always encourage people as quickly as possible, get yourself in a position where you're going for something that matters to you, that you're excited about and jump in and, you know, get a deadline, get a big goal and make things happen. Make things happen. Because when you get that and all you got to do is get a little bit better this, this week than last week, this month and last. All you got to do is keep pressing forward and towards your goal. And the results, the feedback you get from that is going to teach you things you can not learn any other way. But we got people that are screwing around 20, 30 years of their life not doing anything because they just will not let their ass go and get after it and take responsibility and think, well, I got to wait, I got to read another book, I got to take another course. No, you need to get off your spot and get out there and take charge, take responsibility and make something happen and this is a perfect, you know, what I want to do is, you know, we're going to, I'm going to hold off until the next time we talk to ask you about the transition to Chicago and your career after the military. But there's so I really want to hear you say, hear you comment on what a power packed experience that was for you being in that pressure cooker in terms of learning real life leadership lessons at a young age, that you probably still inform your decision making now and you probably went back to and operated, you know, use those same operating principles all the way up, you know, because it's the way the real world works. You get a real world situations, you got pressure on you, you learn how the real world works. And that's, you don't have to be 30 years experience, 40 years experience. You just got, you just got to get in that situation and let the situation teach you and talk about, you know, at, at 23, did you feel like it's not that hard, is it? It's not that overwhelming and complex. It's just like, I got to make this happen. It goes back to the first thing you said. I have to. I learned the value of hard work and I learned that I had to control my environment if good things were going to happen. And so when I say things like that, I'm just interested in your reaction to it.

Well, I agree with everything you just said and I don't know this would be a fact, but I'd be willing to bet a hundred bucks that neither you nor Art Williams ever read a leadership book before you started out doing. Well, there's some people that are just meant to be leaders. They seize the moment. They don't wait for somebody to tell them that they need a plan, or maybe they do need to be kicked in the butt a little bit, but after that, they just seize the moment and they go for it. And my psychologist, Dr. Baker, said to me after, actually, I suffered a lot of PTSD for decades that I never dealt with successfully and only about five, six years ago that I start to deal with it. And I was dealing with my personal anger, which is a real detriment in the workplace. And Dr. Baker said, Larry, you know, you had some success, but the sooner that you can learn that anger is good in the military but not so good in the real world and deal with people where they are in a positive, affirming, but consistent, disciplined way, that's when you're going to achieve the kind of success that you want to see in other people's lives.

Absolutely. Well, Larry, this has been fantastic. Thanks so much for sharing and there is a basically bottomless pit of wisdom and lessons in those stories that you told. So thanks so much for sharing with me and with all of us today. Thank you.

Glad to do it. Good to talk to you, cousin.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Million Dollar Mastermind with me, Larry Wydell, if I've helped you in any way, leave us a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. For more information like this, listen to our other Million Dollar Mastermind episodes and check out my Wydell Academy YouTube channel and visit us on widel on winning. Com. I'm the million Dollar Mastermind. And until next time, go go.