Episode 81: How John Lennon Learned to Overcome Life's Biggest Tragedies

Welcome to this episode of the Million Dollar Mastermind. I'm Larry Weidell, and let's get started. All right, today we've got John Lennon, and we've, you know, he's done me the favor of getting on before, but we thought we'd do some practical application of some of the concepts that we covered before. And you can see how it's not just what you learn, it's how you apply what you learn that transforms your life and allows you to stay standing when you get hit with things, but also to do more than just stand and take it, you know? You know, it's like a boxer in a ring. More than sitting there, just take a punch. But to be able to fight back and move forward and still keep winning. And so John is a champion at doing that. And so, John, thanks for coming back and sharing with us again.

Thank you, Larry. I do appreciate the opportunity.

And it's a, you know, always a lot of fun being around John. I think we bring out the best in each other. And, John, last time, you know, we've talked about your background coming up, some of the concepts that you started out with from your family, what you expanded that when you went to college, and we talked last time, the importance of building a network of the right kind of friendships and relationships and how that can transform you, support you, open doors for you, melt barriers to progress. But now let's move it deeper and let's talk about how in the real world, nobody's dealt more with the real world than you, and talk about dealing and surviving and excelling in the real world when you face the varied things that life throws at you, John. Because that's what really this podcast is all about. It's like getting inside the minds of the high achievers and what allows them to stay. That's what my book, you know, serial Winner, the concept was when Art Williams said to me that, you know, the issue is the world is full of people who almost do things. We need more. The world needs more people who actually do things, not almost do it. And what I thought, a lot of that has to do with not going beyond people not having the toughness or drive or real commitment. But a lot of the advice that was being put out was half baked. You know, it was a lot of it's put out by, you know, high achievers don't have time to stop and really explain what they're doing most of the time. And so the people who do have the time are the people who are not doing anything. And you got professors and interviewers. And you have people out there that are selling courses on how to become a success on online. And what you do if you don't know anything is you take 90 days, six months, and you read every book you can on it and make yourself an expert. And now you know more than most people about that subject. And maybe that's true about cooking, but it's not about life and winning because so you have all these half baked pictures, people who've never, professors, interviewers who have never really done anything and they're out giving advice. And what they tell you is almost what it takes to win. You know, they could get you 98% of the way, but. And all of that's great information, but what makes the difference is what you do at that last 1 or 2% of the time that knocks out most people and where they give up on their dreams and they just throw away all the progress they've had. And when it comes down to that moment of truth, they just don't have the information, they don't have the toughness, they don't have. They, they cannot keep themselves mentally organized to make one more step. And it's not that they can't do it because if they get, if you can get 98% of the way, trust me, you can take, get, take those last two steps. It's a matter of they give up because they just do not know how to keep a clear head. And John, better than most, you know how to clear your head. And you know, maybe it goes back to that what you, you, you brought up, that you learned from your dad, that you've kept in your mind that you said as a final word on one of these episodes. And that is keeping focus on what's really important. So maybe you know, keeping focus on what's really important is what you excel at. And so talk to us about how these concepts work out in the real world. So welcome back, John Lennon.

Thank you, Larry. I do appreciate that opportunity. And you know, I just believe that there comes a time in all of our lives that we really have to come to the crossroads of what is it that we really intend to do with our life and what is it that really matters and what is it that we going to focus on and, and do we plan to finish? And once you, I believe, get to a certain point and you get engaged in and you have all the right situations in place, you know, you have the right environment, you have the right leadership, you have the right mentors, you have the right friendships and it's like a moment in time. And in my way of thinking that things change in life. And when things change, did you have an opportunity or did you put both the effort or did you put both the focus or did you put both the determination to make sure that you could finish? Because things are going to change, Life changes, things do change, situations happen. Obviously, I've had all kinds of situations happen from a personal point of view, you know, so I know things change. But when you have a goal and you have a specific destination, you have a journey that you really, you're really part of this journey and the journey becomes extremely important because now I need to finish this journey. Because I know if I finish this journey, if I finish this journey, you reach a point where your confidence is, the evidence points to it that if I could, if I, when I complete this journey, I will have the prize of prizes or the opportunity to have the prize or whatever kind of prize it is that I'm looking for. The opportunity would be there. Whether it's my network, whether it's financial or whether it's friendships or whatever the prize is, whether my family. I will have the prize if I can stay focused in the journey long enough. And so you begin to recognize that. And I think you reach a point of no return. I mean, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to reach that point. You know, I had a uncle one time, and he went to the war. I can't remember World War I and World War II, but I looked at what had to happen. He left home to go to Germany, wherever, they went to France, wherever. And they didn't come back home for two to three years because they had to go do what they had to go do and had. And whatever time it took to do it, that's the time they had to do it at the end of the day to put out to make it happen. So I looked at my life, I say whatever time it takes to do to finish this journey, I have to finish this journey. And you're gonna have things to happen. I don't mean you don't be responsible through the situation when things happen. But it also don't mean that you get off focus either. Now, how do you be responsible and, and focus at the same time? I don't know other than you just keep an eye on the prize. You've got to still get up and do what you got to do. But with responsible, you got to be responsible at the same time doing what you have to do. You know, I've lost family Members. I lost two sons. You know, my wife died, you know, so I've had situations that happen. And throughout my life and throughout my career, I hit a health situation. But I'm still not finished yet. I'm still got my eye on a prize. I've had a level of success that I desire to have, but I've not finished it. I still, I still yearning. It's still, there's a yearning in me that I believe it can go to the next level. I have met enough people that have gone to the next level that, that started with basically nothing, basically like I did, and they took it to the next level. I mean, Art Williams, the father of our company, he wasn't a super rich guy when he got started, but he had some beliefs that he believed in. I had an opportunity to be around himself. Bob Turley. I had an opportunity to be around himself. And Larry Waddell, I mean, I mean there the influence you had on me, mentoring me over basically, especially the first 10 years I was in this business. I mean, I mean, I saw you just walk through the tough stuff and I gleamed from that. And I said, man, my time ever come, I'm gonna do what he did. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna finish this job at all costs. I'm gonna be responsible. You know, I was always responsible to my family because I was working for my family. That's what my journey was all about. That's what I was fighting for. But I still had to continue on. In spite of the fact that I had situations happen, in spite of the fact that I had lost two family members, in spite of the fact that I lost my wife and I love my wife and we was partners. In spite of the fact that illness hit me a little bit. But, you know, I don't look at it like that. I look at it, I have to finish the journey some way I'm going to finish. And so I think we have to be deep rooted with that. And once we get deep rooted with it and there's been a decision made and we look around at all the situations and we look around at our life and look around at all the people we've had an opportunity to meet. And that's the great thing about in the industry and the business that we're in, leadership is free. And you have an opportunity to be mentioned by so many people to keep those thoughts going in your mind and to keep those ideas going. And even though, you know, whatever you had to be here to show you had all kind of things going on to help us stay tuned into who we was. And finally you get in touch with who you are as an individual. And once you get in touch with who you are as an individual, individual that you unstoppable in your own mind to give, accomplish whatever you have to accomplish, irregardless of what the situation and being responsible. Yes, but you got to still achieve. You still got to go ahead and fight to the end because there's people counting on us, your family and members of your team, people that become your friends. They're counting on you to finish. And people want to be around somebody that's going to stand strong and finish. So that's what I have blamed from all the people that I've had an opportunity, like yourself, to be part of their leadership team and be a part of the being mentors. You know, you pick up on all those things. And my father was like that. I mean, he would say, listen, this is when the season starts and this is when it ends. And he had a, he had a word to use, old country word. He said, boy, we gotta get it. So we didn't let nothing get in our way when it was go get it there. And so that was sort of an attitude that I have carried with me and enhanced by meeting other people such as yourself, NERV and other leaders and other human beings I've had a chance to meet that I saw achieve in spite of whatever the situation was and being responsible. So that's kind of what I wanted.

John, I appreciate those kind words, but you know, you've, you've really inspired me too. And you know, the Bible in Hebrews, I think 13, it says, is talk about keeping the faith. And it says, seeing as we're surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses of faith have gone on before, you know, you've always, you know, you have to sort these things out in your own mind. You have to coach yourself through it. But it really helps to have. There's no, there's no way to help but feel lonely when you get. Go through huge loss. You know, there are people that, where they've lost their homes. I mean, you got people, tornadoes go through town and the whole town is gone. You know what I'm saying? The whole town's gone. Everything. It's not like my house burned to the ground. I lost all of my memories and photographs. No, the whole town did, you know, and these tornadoes, like it just went through Nashville. I mean, life, life will throw some vicious things at you. And when you take these, you've had the personal, tragic, horrific like this should not, how did this happen to me and this, that the other. But life happens. And you know, we've just got to, you know, for people like me and you, we've just got to trust in God and feel like he will, as it says in Romans, that he will cause things to turn out to our advantage. We're only here for a temporary time and eternity is what's important, not our temporary life here. And this is the, you know, we're playing things out here, but the real rewards are on the other side. And you've got to have a faith like that, in my opinion. Or, you know, if, if you don't have that faith, good luck to you. Coming up with some kind of way of keeping yourself with a positive attitude rather than just, I'm going to hang on and put up with this stuff. But to have what you've got is a positive attitude, John, in spite of facing all this stuff. But you got to talk to yourself. I know a lot of this time tragedy puts you in isolation, you know, because when all the well wishers come and go, there comes a moment where you're face to face all alone yourself with what am I going to do now? And if you don't have those values, those ideas built into your brain, those concepts into your brain, which is what we're trying to pass on two people. Now, you can have tools, you can have concepts, you can have facts, you can have foundational things inside your brain and you can have experience working with and you can. That's why it's so important to win, so you can have some successes so you know that these things actually work and you can rely on them in the toughest times because, you know, we all have tragedies, you've had some really monstrous ones, but we all have some kind of tragedy. And the thing is, even if you ever, you know, like when my son, he put up, you know, and I know your sons, you know, they would go to the gym and they transform themselves, you know, from, they couldn't lift the bar up, you know, within a month they were pressing, probably more bench pressing than I could, you know, I remember when they were teenagers, you know, know, they went to the same gym and Adam stayed with it and he did like 10 reps of, he posted a video of 505 pounds yesterday and you know, he still got that big bulk. But a lot of people when they go to the gym, like when your boys went to the gym as teenagers and they were pressing the 45 pound bar that felt to them like 500 pounds feels to my son. You know, I mean, they could get 10 reps with that thing. Thing. But they improved, you know, and they thought, oh, this thing is heavy. A lot of the time we go through tragedies and we say, oh, it's the toughest thing in my life. Yeah, nothing, you know, that, you know, and those of us who have lived a long time, we think about that, we try and be sympathetic, but it's just like child, you know, you're going to have some bigger things come your way. But even if you're starting out and you're going through what for most people might be a little tragedy, it's still big to you, it's still significant to you. You know, that weight was heavy for your sons. But the deal is, when you face those and stand up to it, you're able to hang on bigger challenges and bigger challenges and still keep going on. And there's just no other way to develop mental toughness rather than have mental health challenges. John. And those mental challenges and the mental toughness comes from what you do when you are alone and when you're by yourself. And all the fanfare, support from the friends have gone away because at some point they come to support you, but then they got to go back and deal with their lives, and you got to deal with your life. And so at those moments, John, what has it been like for you when, you know, you're alone and that first hit, you know, comes rushing in after all of the people have gone home, and now it's, am I going to move forward or not? And sometimes it takes. Sometimes it takes a day, week, or a few months to kind of get yourself on track. But that's okay. People need to know that's okay. That's okay. If you've got to go through a healing time or let your mind absorb a setback. Because that doesn't mean just because it takes a day, week, month, or series of months doesn't mean it has to be permanent, that you can come out of that fog, you can come out of that thing, and when you do come back, you're probably going to be stronger. But, John, talk about what it's like to go through those things.

Well, Larry, like you say, I mean, you. You go through those things, and like you said, it takes some time longer for others and shorter times for others. And the underlying effect of it is that even though it may take a month or two, a week, a year, whatever it takes, you still have a thought process There that resonates in your mind from time to time, that if you are serious about your journey, you're serious about creating opportunity, that with every adversity there's a greater benefit. And you, you have to have some quotes to say is ideals are something that's been ingrained into side of you that you hang on to because like you say, some people go through it faster. You know, some people go through it slower than others do. And sometimes, you know, you really don't ever get over it, but you get past it to the point that you can keep on moving and you can get back focused and you can get back doing the things that you really truly enjoy doing. Because that's a level of enjoyment, that's a part of this journey that we're all taking out here in life to do what we do. And that journey is so powerful and it's so great and so enjoyable and you affect so many other people's lives and you learn so much if you're a person that like to learn and achieve and you have opportunity coming your way all the time. So I guess the thing that helped me more than anything else is.

You.

Know, inside of me, I'm. I'm looking for a different way to do it. I'm looking for a better way to do it. I'm looking to help my team and I achieve and the people that I have an opportunity to interact with. And I just always remember that with every adversity there is an ego, a greater benefit, there's a greater bit of greater benefit opportunity. Because I've seen that, I witnessed that in my life that, you know, go through adversity, things happen. It looks like it's gonna knock you down and maybe it does for a while. But then if you just keep pushing, if you get the strength to just push on a little bit more, you'll find that there's a greater benefit there. And I guess that's just the way the universe is made. I guess that's the way God made things. And that's what's happened in my life. You know, I get down, I get knocked down. I mean, I get knocked out first in the gut. However, you know, I had that underlining spirit inside of me that there's a greater benefit here, there's a greater. That there's something here greater than adversity. And it has to be a greater benefit in this journey that we're taking. So that's kind of how I looked at it. That's how kind of how we still look at it today, you know, because life, life, life throws the things at you. Sometimes you don't know why, but it just comes your way. But you. You gotta still deal with that.

Well, the thing is, John, I mean, you know, you said something really profound there, that there. There is. If once you get yourself back on track there, you open the door to being able to receive other kind of joys and satisfaction and great experiences and. And relationships and that you'll never achieve. If you let. Whatever the tragedy is, no matter how monumental it is, if you let it stop you, if you let it crush you, there you are allowing that tragedy that you had probably nothing to do with, wasn't your fault it happened to you. And, and even if you had some role in it, the thing is, if you let anything stop you, you're letting it rob you of a lot of joy and happiness and impact that is waiting for you down the road if you keep continuing. And, you know, I remember, John, you know, maybe this, you know, you and I have been kicked in the gut so many times because, you know, to prepare us to be able to do this podcast to where we can help, you know, we. We've learned things, we see things, we can help other people. Because I remember, you know, when I was going through my toughest times, and, you know, I'm thinking, you know, why is this happening to me? You know, I. I did everything I could, right? You know, I won't go through all of the things. And, you know, now because of the economy throwing me out of work, and I've got, you know, kids and a wife and no income and no, no prospects, you know, we're starving to death, we're on unemployment and food stamps for a period of time. It's like, why is this happening to me? And you know, what came to me, and I don't know what a book or someone said, it's like, you go through times like this not by accident, but on purpose because there's a particular plan God has for you in your future, and he is preparing you, particularly precisely to learn things so that you can achieve the things that you've got to achieve in your future. And a big part of this is, is being able to help other people who will be going through the same challenges, and they're going to need someone to encourage them. And, you know that there's a greater purpose behind this thing, knowing there's a greater purpose, knowing that not only can you survive, but you'll be able to, you know, achieve greater things. And then also, you know, you'll come through it with more insight, more wisdom, more discipline, more toughness, but also ability to bounce back quicker the next time. But also being able to help other people's really opens the door to all kinds of multiple benefits and joys that you could not get if you just lived an easy, normal kind of life. And you've seen that yourself because I know you become an inspirational hero to tens of thousands of people around the country who've known your story and known you and that you're. You're working with now.

That's absolutely correct, Larry. And you know, and, and there's, there's a bit of joy in that too, you know, even though, you know you have to bounce back. And there's some satisfaction there too. And you know, because achieving, achieving a satisfaction too, you know, is. It's something that gives you a consciousness that of your worthiness in relationship to being on this earth and how you can affect other people, how you can help another person in their journey, in their path or going where they're going. There's some satisfaction in that. And you know, we are all driven by some level of desiring to help others or to, to, to, to inspire others. And that's just a part of how we are made up. In some, in a lot of instances, you know, we want to do that and, and adversity helps you to do that. It helps you to bring the best out of you so you can keep going, to be able to do what God may have put you on this earth.

Yeah, and the thing about tragedy and setbacks, usually you're going along and you've got joys in your life, you got things you, you like to do, your, your relate, you got relationships that you enjoy, you got things you're looking forward to. You know, that's what tragedies are so bad, is they wipe out the things that you had in your mind that you were looking forward to. You know, you were enjoying, you were looking forward to this, that. And all of a sudden tragedy comes out. Bam. You know, the board is erased. All that's gone. But the thing is, the important thing that you said was that you don't get over that. The loss of all those opportunities and relationships and enjoyments and things like that and possibilities. You don't get over that. But you can get past it if you keep moving. And you might you. And what you find, you've often find is the board will fill back up with other new, fresher, and sometimes even greater opportunities and joys that were only possible if you Went through that tragic phase that you never got over. You always have that inside of you, but you've got past it and you have moved on. And you know, you do it on your own thing. You know, it's one thing about grieving, I tell people about grieving, you can't, don't worry about, you know, don't let grief come, you know, you can't control. Grief has a life of its own, you know, where, you know, just. You get overwhelmed with it. Let it have its work. You know, grief does what grief does. And don't be down on yourself. Don't force yourself to overcome it and get past it. You know, don't be ashamed of it. It's like grief is what grief is, but sooner the grief, let it do its work. So you can not get over it, that experience, but you can get past it and there will be a new day and you can let get re. Energized and your mind refreshed. And John, you've just gone through this. I know you've gone through this really with the loss of Angela, who I still cannot believe is gone. She and I were such big friends and, you know, I know there's tens of thousands of people who thought that she was her best, you know, she was their best friend and she had such a major impact everywhere. And for her not to get over the loss of Angela in the last couple of years had to be a huge thing for you. But things are starting to, you know, and you're not going to get over it, but you have, and you have been able to move forward and other, you know, it's like grass growing through the surface and new flowers coming up. There are new things happening in your life in terms of things happening with your son, with your grandchildren, with your people in your business and your community and your extended family and, and talk about what it is to live through that, John, and where that's got you in this frame of mind now, because people can feel energy in your voice, they can feel excitement in your voice about, you know, the life that's caught, that's in front of you now, the possibilities now that have come and are now appearing on the board of possible opportunities of things to do in the future. You know, that's in your mind. Your mind is. Has become to a large degree refreshed again. And you can hear it in your voice. What, what Describe that process for us.

As you say, Larry, you know, you, you, you do go through a process, and obviously it's different for each person as to how they go through what they go through. And I think, you know, when things happen suddenly, maybe you go through it a little bit differently than if. If there is such a thing as expect this expecting something to happen versus something suddenly happened. So, you know, you. You begin to get in touch with yourself a lot, and you begin to share and talk to people that you trust and that you know, and you begin to become encouraged and you begin to see gradually you're coming out of whatever it is, but you begin to see new horizons also, you know, you begin to process things differently because you have to. You can't just sit there anymore because a person is gone and they're not coming back. So you have to process things, Jeffrey. You have to see, you have to learn how to do things differently. You have to learn how to associate differently with different people and integrate into different situations. And you learn a lot about yourself and how to get things done differently. I've had to learn how to get things done differently than I did before, and a lot of things I had to learn to do. But, you know, you learn how to do those things and eventually you. You get comfortable and you just ultimately figure out it's time to go now. You know, for example, I didn't even go to grocery stores, and I had to figure out how to go to the grocery store. What you do in here, I know I had never even been to Sam's club, for example. First time I went to Sam's club, I like to paint it. I think, God, leave all this stuff in here. How do you find anything? What do you do? But eventually you figured it all out, and you figure out how to get help doing stuff and how to, you know, so your life changes, but it don't stop. Your life changes, but you come out of it. And when you come out of it, seem like you, you're better. You can do things differently. You can, you can figure out things faster. You know how to put a network in place differently than what you had. And because you have to, because you still want to move on, you feel part of that journey. And if you're still part of that journey, then you easily word. You figure out things and you get it figured out. And you do figure out stuff because you're driven to figure it out, and you have a yearning to figure it out because you just want to make the journey happen and you enjoy. It's fulfilling for you and your family and your network of people that you're affiliated with and the company of people that you're involved with. And it does. And it does great to be in connection with good people and also to have that network, like you said, outside of the company, that people that you meet and talk to that really share some great things with you during those times, because you'll find too. But people, a lot of people have been through some stuff out here, and sometimes just a word or a conversation can make a big difference. So, you know, I don't think you never forget, but you move on.

Yeah. It's amazing, John, isn't it? You know, you're kind of the, you know, you'd be up there in the category of people who've had, you know, tragedies happen to them. But no matter how many tragedies you've had happen to you, out of the woodwork will come somebody who's got it worse somehow. There's always. It's, you know, it's amazing. You know, it's amazing. No matter how bad we think we've got it or what's happened to us, like, there's always somebody who comes in and I mean, they've got it, you know, so much worse, either, you know, physically or, I mean, you know, happened to their kids or this, that and the other. I mean, there's always somebody who's got it worse. And it does help you keep perspective. And the other, other thing is you want to keep going for the people who depend on you. And there's always people looking at us to see how we will respond. And it's always great to know that you're responding in a way that will inspire people rather than cause them to give up when they have to face stuff. And, you know, I have to feel like knowing how many people depend on you has had a little bit to do with how you've responded to these situations.

Oh, absolutely, Larry, man, you know, you don't realize it sometimes, but, you know, people be looking for answers and because of their affiliation, association with you, then, you know, you do feel compelled to come up with those answers and it causes you to, let's go to the next level because you feel you can. You can go to that next level. And. And I think that's when it gets down in your guts and soul and mind and heart. What matters. This is what matters now. And if there's one thing that you've got to come up with, for me, this is what matters right now. And this is what I'm going to do right now in order to go ahead on and continue to live my life and continue to be worthy and continue to be impactful.

Well, John, this has been fantastic. And I appreciate, I appreciate all of your great insight and comments. And, and, you know, we're, we're, it's going to be fun to see the great things that's headed your way in the next weeks and months. So thanks so much, John, for being on.

Thank you. I really do appreciate it.

Yes, sir. Sharing from the heart, John Lennon, thanks for listening to this episode of Million Dollar Mastermind with me, Larry Weidel. If I've helped you in any way, leave us a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. For more information like this, listen to our other Million Dollar Mastermind episodes and check out my Wydell Academy YouTube channel and visit us on widel on winning.com I'm the million Dollar Mastermind. And until next time, go, go, go.