From 200 Rejection Letters to Hitting the Jackpot Through Networking with Jeff Love

Welcome to this episode of the Million Dollar Mastermind. I'm Larry Weidell, and let's get started. I am back with Jeff Love, attorney and realtor out of Southern California. And Jeff, he's partnering his law firm. He advises real estate developers and really loves the real estate business. And as he said, real estate touches every area of our life. And so what an arena to make a positive impact. And as we know, we have a lot of people out there trying to tear up our environment, trying to destroy. But it's great to be a part of the side of it where you're building, you're developing, you're creating opportunities for. And building places for people to work and start their businesses and get their first home and second home. And so welcome back, Jeff. It's. It's great talking with you.

I'm happy to be back and looking forward to talking some more.

You know, what was interesting on the first episode was you said you ran into a brick wall upon graduation, and that was that the, you know, the market was bad and 200 rejection letters, which would depress most people. But you did exactly the right thing to respond to that, and you started networking. Because most of the great jobs and most of basically most jobs, period, are the whole thing of, I know a guy who knows a guy, I've got a friend who's got a friend, and that's the best thing for prospecting. That's the best thing for finding the best doctor in town, the best mechanic, the best attorney in real estate. You know, it's. I've got as a referral, and you can't do referrals if you're not out there talking to people. And like it says in the Bible, if you want friends, you just got to be friendly. Plus, you've got to get yourself in a position where you can bump into people and find common ground. And by the way, a little hint when you get in front of them, let them talk. Don't be dominating the conversation. Let give them a chance to get to know you by telling them about themselves. And so how did that idea come to you, Jeff? How did you segue into that? Like, I'm going to apply for jobs a standard way, send out the resumes, go to the job fairs, do things like that. Or how did you segue over into the networking and meeting people and. And having them introduce you to other people?

It really came about out of necessity. You know, when I were getting those rejection letters, I didn't have any other options. You know, I was looking for a job And I was trying to go about it the normal course, sending emails, making phone calls, following up, getting interviews here and there, but nothing really was working. I realized I have to go out and meet more people. Maybe, maybe a friend of a friend has a, you know, had a dad or a cousin, a brother, someone that would look, looking to fill a position. So what I did is I just started with people that I, that I knew, I talked to, I talked to friends. You know, I'm graduated law school and this is what I'm looking for. Then talk to family, friends. Hey, do you know anyone else I can talk to? It was kind of earlier on in LinkedIn, but I was on LinkedIn and trying to use the social media. It's not what it is today, but I was trying to use that to the extent I could, and one thing really led to another, and it's kind of that seven degrees of separation, so to speak. It may not be the person you know or the person they know, but it may be the next person or the next person. But to get to that for person, you've got to start somewhere. You know, everyone has family, friends, business contacts, you know, someone, and that's a place where you could start. And it's not just to get a job, but it's also, you know, meeting new clients, customers, partners, people to start businesses with just contacts that can help you grow. You know, that's why networking, I think many people hate it. You know, I still don't like it. I still don't like going into a room or the equivalent of cold calling and going up to strangers and shaking up a conversation. But for the most part, most people feel the same way and they're happy just to talk to someone else. And that's just, that's the way you got to do it. And once you talk to the first person, the next person gets easier, and it's easier, and it just becomes part of developing yourself as a person, not just for business, but being able to deal with other people, negotiating and survive with other people out there.

And the thing is that, you know, recently I interviewed one of my longtime friends, Sam Shepard, out of Atlanta, and he's just gone over $2 million. And he was the first African American in our company to do the million and then 2 million and amazing talent. Talent is only good if you could get around some people and be able to use it. You know, so you've always, no matter whatever your business is, you got to prospect. If you're in business, you got a prospect and nothing beats face to face. So Sam said from the beginning, Jeff, he got past the prospecting rejection issue by saying he wasn't prospecting, he was making friends. So he went out to look for people he'd like to know as a friend. And from there, they turned into clients. And so if you look at it as when you're meeting new people, trying to find a common ground, and don't think about your stupid presentation because that will put a scowl on your face. You will. If you've. You're thinking about something technical. How can I squeeze this in here? How. Looking for my opening. You will have a wrinkle on your forehead that they will see, and that will throw you off. You got to concentrate, keep breathing, stay relaxed, focus in on them, get them talking about themselves, and look for common ground. And once you find common ground, you have struck gold. And you've probably had some experience with that. And is it. Do any of them jump into your mind?

Yeah, I mean, that's great advice. And that is what I tell clients as well, because I have many clients, you know, they are. They're looking for customers and looking at how they can grow their business. Or we represent a real estate brokerage and how did new real estate agents get clients? And a lot of the times there are exceptions, but someone's trying to get something out of you, and it could be off putting it sometimes. But you go out there when you're meeting people for the first time and just strike up a conversation, you know, like Sam said, you know, if you're going out there to make that person your friend, you're not trying to get anything out of them or them from you that first meeting. But if you strike up that rapport, even just as a casual acquaintance, you get to know that person. You get to know them better. I'm part of a networking group, and their motto is trust, like referral. So I'm sorry, I said that backwards. Know like trust, Van Woofer. And what that means is you get to know someone because you're not. You don't want to, you know, send business to someone that you don't know or like. You get to know them. You get to like them as a person and think that they could do a job. And once you get to that point, it's a good model, then you trust them. You say, I think this person does a good job. Maybe I can refer them this work because I know them, I like them, and I trust them. And that's the same with, I think, building this rapport, whether it's Clients or customers or partners or just meeting other people to help you be more successful is just really getting to know that person. Because one good quality contact is better than 10 mediocre ones. Because that one person is going to think, oh, this person's talking about a real estate transaction. Hey, do you have an attorney? Oh no, you do not. Well, I've got this good friend, Jeff. Maybe he's able, you should call him. Maybe he's able to help you. But those 10 mediocre contacts, they may not remember me and may not be first of mind. So really focus on making those good quality connections.

Yeah. And you know, at this stage of my life, I, you know, I've always. I started in my preteenage years before I got into business painting and doing photography because we were over in Tuscany and that was, you know, we're always going to Florence and Rome. And so I kind of my impressionable years, I did sports and I did photography and painting. That was my deal. But then I found out when I got up in years, that's a hard row to go as far as. Well, first of all, sports was not going to be an option as a professional athlete. I was too short and slow for that. And I just didn't have any idea how you would make a career. The other, other things. So, you know, I went into business, studied architecture, building, construction, and then went into the secure big industry of financial services. But along the way, you know, I always had the photography and the art in my background. But the thing is like now at this stage of my year of my life, I'm trying to like I've got all this stuff, I need to try and sell it. So I've been for a couple of years I've been trying to break into the art business. And you know, it's just like you go in a gallery and you're nobody. But what happens is out here and you got to. It takes time. Let's talk about this, about. I'm leading into the thing. It takes time sometimes for your networking to pay off from one person, to lead to another, to lead to a big explosion of opportunity. But over a period of a year out here in Aspen, we decided from Palm beach, we're very active. That's our base of operations in Palm beach, my studio and everything. We said let's go to Aspen because I spent so much time here. And we did a pop up this summer and we met, you know, I got a sculptor in there, a friend of mine. So it's a two artists gallery, but he Introduced me to another gallery owner who likes my stuff. And it turns out this guy is. This is the whole friend to friend networking thing. And I won't say his name, but anyway, it turns out this guy is really connected in with the museum, which is right behind my condo here across the alley. But it might as well be in Afghanistan in terms of getting in and knowing the people up there. You know, I spent the whole last year trying to get hello from the museum director, but for some reason I got invited. They got a new director in there. I got invited to a dinner last night because of this friend, and bam, I met not only the director, the key people there. I met other artists, gallery owners, art consultants all over town, super powerful people. Like overnight, at one dinner, bam, the whole world has opened of opportunities. And of course, that's not the first time in business that's happened. But it was great to have that happen in this business because I've been fighting for that breakthrough. You have to push for growth, but growth is not always steady. Lots of time growth comes in surges. You don't have the overnight success, but you went through a period of time applying, meeting people, this, that, the other. Then bam, that job opportunity came and your life rapidly took off in another direction. And that's an important lesson for people to think about is you keep making friends, you keep networking, you keep probing until, like you say that, and most of them will be mediocre contacts for you. But until you find that magic person who can open up, you know, dozens of doors all at one time, or one magic door for you to go through and give it the time, just, you know, like, I tried it this afternoon, met some friends and nothing happened. No, stay on it and give time for your efforts to compound and multiply and turn into something big. You can build momentum through a friend network long before the big result you're looking for shows up. And it's important for people to stay on track with that, don't you believe?

Absolutely. And that kind of goes back to where we were talking about earlier is, you know, in business and life, you can't give up. You got to keep trying. And that those mediocre, they may not be the one, but they may have a best friend or a colleague or a wife or a relative that may be the contact you're looking for. So just because you don't get 100% of the results you're looking for, don't let it be a discouragement, let it be encouragement to go that next step, meet that next person make that next business deal and you don't give up and you keep trying. And that, that's really, it's just, it's advice that I give. You know, kind of learn from your mistakes, but keep moving on. Is not just new entrepreneurs and business owners, but even those ones that are successful that may not close that big deal. This wasn't the right one. And I've had to happen many times when that right one does come a couple months, a year later where they wouldn't have got that if they had closed on that mediocre deal. So don't let it be a discouragement.

What were some lessons you learned about that and have learned about the networking? You say, you know, you've, you know, you make mistakes and you learn from it. What, what are some mistakes you've learned about how and how not to do networking?

The biggest one and the one that sticks with me is don't try to sell someone on your services. I'm an attorney, so by nature I'm a service provider. You know, I don't sell a product. I sell my services to clients doing transactions, whether it's real estate or corporate law. And when I first started, I would try to, when I would meet a contact, kind of sell them what I'm doing. Oh, do you have an attorney? Who do you use and do you need an attorney? And like I said earlier, that's kind of off putting. People feel I'm trying to sell them something. And now when I meet someone, I could tell them what I do. Yeah, but I'm not trying to sell them on what I'm doing. I'm not trying to make them a client. I'm making them a contact, a friend. Maybe, Maybe I can refer business to you. Maybe we have something in common. Maybe I can tell you about that new movie I saw or that new bar, that new restaurant. But I'm not selling something. The selling will come naturally when they remember, oh, I did meet this guy and he was an attorney. You should contact him. Or maybe he could help me on this. So let that come naturally. Well, that's, it's not a hard and fast rule. There are cases where you might want to be selling. It might be that context or might be some type of networking event that you're at where you're meant to be selling. But for me, the general rule is I'm meeting people again. I like what you said with your friend Sam is I'm meeting them as friends or contacts. I'm not meeting them as potential clients, at least not at the beginning.

Yeah. You know, when you're in the service world and you're always prospecting and then you're training, you're always advising people on how to prospect and find new people. One day, about 20 years ago, I started thinking about my attorney, and then I started thinking about all of the professionals in accounting, the legal field, that kind of thing. And it was like, even medical, and it was like, how. I couldn't figure. I was confused. It was like, how do these guys, which, by and large, most of them, no offense, Jeff, because I'm obviously not descriptive of you, but most of these guys are close to zero on the personality charisma scale, and maybe a one or two. But, you know, the. The vast majority at least don't project that they're the life of the party and fun guys. And so you're thinking, how in the world do these guys, especially the dull ones, that, you know, how do they build a practice? And so one. One of those guys who was really, you know, he's maybe a 0.5 in the personality scale, I said, kevin, I got a question for you. I said, how do you find prospects? I said, what happens when things slow. How did you get started? What happens when things slow down? Because every business has slowdowns, you know. And he said, very simply, he said, when business slows down, he said, I start going to all the parties and events I'm invited to and get togethers I'm invited to that. Ordinarily, I would just turn down. And he said, inevitably, somebody will say, you know, you introduce yourself. I'm Kevin. I'm Kevin King. And they will say, oh, we can edit Kevin's name out of there, too, by the way. You know, I'm so and so. And you know what? Who are you? They would tell me what. And they would ask. He said, I wait for them to ask me what I do. And he said, all of a sudden I go to a few parties, and pretty soon I've got business again. You know, I got people calling me. And so you can make it as simple or as hard as you want to do, but you can't make it happen fast, so you might as well just go with a flow. Would that you agree with that, Jeff?

I do. And that's one part of networking, too, is it's. It's a long process. And even I've got partners at my, you know, firms and senior partners that started it that still network, you know, One of my partners and good friends, sometimes when he goes on vacations, he specifically Makes it a point to go visit someone there that he knows to reconnect with them, to check in. So he's on vacation, having fun. But he's networking, too, because it's a long process. And you're essentially building out this networking referral, whatever tree you want, because each person you meet, you're now connected to all the people that they know. And once you meet those people, you're connected to the people that they know. So your example, I think that's great, even if you don't have a super outgoing personality. And I don't. You know, I grew up incredibly shy, you know, in certain social situations, you know, I'm clearly the shyer one than my wife. She's. She's the one that goes up and is friendly and everyone's talking to her. And you know what? I stick by her side, and that opens the conversations. And then I'll talk to, you know, I'll talk to the spouse or I'll talk to whoever is with, or I'll, you know, I'll go get a drink and someone will come up and get one and we'll talk about the. At a party, maybe it's. We're talking about the scotch that we're drinking. There's always something that you can talk about. Even if you are shy or even if you don't have that super outgoing personality, you find something in common, and maybe the other person's shy, too. You're talking about the last football game or basketball game you saw. It's something to start talking about. And that can lead into other things.

Absolutely. Because you know, what you're looking for is that moment where they light up. You know, you hit a nerve with them of something they have an interest in that you can talk about. And it's really, the more you do it, the more you recognize that moment. And one of the people I met last night, well, a couple of them were architects. And so I told them my experience with architecture, Georgia Tech and going, you know, the. The long nights and this, you know, the styes, the endless number of sties you get in your eye from never sleeping. And. And so we had a big laugh about the. The experience of getting the architecture degree. So anyway, Jeff, I. Any last word? You want to leave people on this prospect of really, this. This relates. Ties back into something that people are always asking about and always do ask about is what do you do when you stall down? Because one thing that I saw with you and those stories in college with major and then getting the job is you kept on going, and it's important that you keep on going. And really, this is one of the best ways for people to break out of a funk. You know, people like, you know, I'm a writer. I got writer's block. I'm a painter. I got painter's block. I'm in business, and the business has gone stale. You know, I need some invigor, you know, something to invigorate me. Well, one fresh idea or one new person, one new friend can be all it takes. And whatever it takes, you got to keep on going because life is short. And so. Any last words you want to add on that subject before we wrap this one up?

I do, and it's cliche, so don't laugh at me, but it is. Don't give up. Don't be discouraged as hard as it is. And know that many, many other people have been in that same boat as you. And the reason that their success or lack of thereof has resulted is whether they decided to pick up and move forward if they hit that roadblock or whether they let it, you know, really dictate their next step.

Think of it as this happened for a reason. Anyway, the. Jeff, it's just been a lot of fun talking with you. Thanks for taking the time.

It's been my pleasure.