If No One Is Laughing at Your Dream It's Not Big Enough with Co-Host Tonia Poe

Welcome to this episode of the Million Dollar Mastermind.

I'm Larry Weddell.

And before we get started, if you want to know exactly how to win again and again, go to Wydell on winning.com webinar now to watch something I've put together for you. Now let's get going into this episode of Million Dollar Mastermind.

Let's go now and talk with Tonya Poe about doing something great with your life. We wrapped up the last episode with Tonya talking about how she'd given herself permission to go for great things in her life that she was exposed to growing up. And that kind of that has transformed her. And so welcome, Tanya.

And thank you, Larry. Thank you. I appreciate you having me.

I was so. I'm so proud of myself for not getting into this on our last episode, but I was so tempted. But here's the thing defining the line between mediocrity and greatness. We have to do that for ourselves, you know, and the thing where we, you know, we look at other people and people look at themselves, like, I just can't get that motivated. I just don't. You know, you see them, they have talent, but they never go for it. You know, the single most talented person I ever met in my life. And, you know, in our business, we recruit and train thousands of people. The single most talented person was the guy who lived next to me when I expanded up to North Carolina, who's my next door neighbor. And he came in and tried it, but. But he just, for some reason, he just would not turn himself loose. And you and I have seen those people, like, frustrate us and they frustrate themselves. And I want us to talk about that for a minute because it's like, why are you lazy? Why do you procrastinate? What is that? That's not like, I need more willpower. No, you need more dream power. You need to give yourself. See, success is never guaranteed. And all you can do is do the work that puts the odds in your favor, minimizing the possibility of failure, maximizing the possibility of success until it becomes almost inevitable. But it's never inevitable. There's always things that can go wrong. But you can always stack the odds in favor of your success. And you'll do that. You'll pay the price. If you're working for something that really excite you. And, you know, you got. But to do that, you got to give yourself permission to be you. You got to give yourself permission and stop worrying about what other people think. Or is it the right Thing or this, that. No, it's the right thing. If it's something I have a friend this past weekend, Tanya, I won't say who it is, but it's a close friend, inner circle, and they want to get into. In their little area, they were thinking a business. And, you know, some ladies, there's no, you know, and I won't get into the details, but it was like, is that crazy? Are we wrong to do that? Is that a stupid idea? No. I said, are you fired up about it? Because I said, you know, here's how you make things happen. You get something you're super fired up enough about to work like a maniac on, because hard work is 50% of what it takes. But the other thing is, I said, do you have a model? And they said, yeah, there's a lady up there. She's got a store like 30 miles up the road, and she's been doing it for 20 years. And there's no other stores in the area, but we've gotten to know her pretty well. I said, well, you've got your model. And now, you know, because if you work hard and you work hard in a successful direction, that's what you get from the role models and the mentors. And, you know, you find a winning program and you follow that to the nth degree as far as it'll take you. And by the time you get to the end of that, you will have enough experience to know how to make your own refinements, you know, and improvements on it. But, Tanya, the thing is that people, you know, and they said, you know, we're doing well. We don't need money, don't have to do it. But, you know, I feel like there's just more that could be done. It could be. And the thing is, it could be more excitement in our lives. It'd be more fun in our lives. I said, exactly. And the fact that you've got this feeling is that, you know, take that stuff serious, that's not an accident, that you have these desires and you have these feelings, you have these interests, and if you got an inch, scratch it, you know, go for it and find out what that's going to lead you to something either to more in that direction or, you know, like, that's not the direction I want to go, but I found something else that I want to go off in. But that itch, you know, as long as it's not immoral or illegal, you know, if it's a positive, healthy itch, scratch it, follow it. Because that's the indication of where you should. You're supposed to go. But most people, like, you don't have to tell a kid to remember when Christmas is. Remember when your birthday is, you know, now, dad Gummet, don't forget your birthday. You know, they, they remember when the birthday party is, they're going to get presents. They remember when Christmas is, you know, when Halloween's going to be. And you know, they counting the minutes and everything. They don't forget things that are important to them. And if something is a passion of yours, nobody's gonna have to tell you to work at it.

Right.

You know, if you've been denied this all your life, you've seen other people on television or, you know, people in the neighborhood talking about it, and you've never been able. And you feel like, you know, you've been denied. And then all of a sudden you get your opportunity, you're gonna work around the clock on it because it is something that you want to do. Nobody's going to have to tell you to, you know, you give a girl a pony who's always wanted a pony, you don't have to tell her to get up on Saturday morning, we're going to go down to the barn where you can ride. She's going to already be up and dressed and ready to go, you know, Right. Same about a kid who wants to go fishing. He finally gets a chance in the boat, in the fishing pole and, you know, let's go, let's go. And you got to get that child life turn on that child. You have to find childlike enthusiasm if you're going to have monster success in anything. Because it's the childlike enthusiasm that drives you to these monstrous bursts of activity, consistently chasing something. Because it's not work for you, it's excitement for you. It's fun for you. You know, the kids who want to be, you know, the reason I'm not a professional musician is I, I like playing the guitars. I've, you know, I've had a. Bought a hundred of them. I like, you know, I like playing the banjo. I got a ton of those drums. I like all that stuff, but not enough to be a professional, because the guys are professionals, just really love it. They don't want anything else, you know.

Exactly.

And it's like Paul McCartney says with his family, you know, he's not the famous musician and singer, whatever with his family. He's the old guy with a guitar over in the corner. Anytime the family gets together that they have to listen to the tv over because he's playing guitar and kind of singing to himself. You know, he's always interfering their fun at the house because he's over there making this noise, you know, and because he never stops and. But he's got that passion. And it doesn't mean that I can't play the guitar, can't have fun with it, can't enjoy it, play with friends and everything. But I'm not going to be a professional because I don't love it that much. I'm not going to put that much effort into it. So the thing is to give yourself permission to, if you know what it is to follow it and, and say there's a reason I've got that in me and I'm going to find out why. Or to give yourself permission to start being curious. If you don't have overwhelming passion, we'll just start seeing what you're a little bit curious about and start checking those things out. You know, give yourself a chance to start moving in other directions in your life and see where that takes you. So I'm curious about what you, you know, what this is, is takes you. It's your passion that takes you from mediocrity to greatness. Because you're right. You know what I always knew, Tanya, I'm interrupting you. But what I always knew was if I was going to be great at anything, I was never going to enjoy anything if I couldn't be great at it. Because even part time playing, you got to be able to play the songs you can't being around, you got to be able to at least play a good amateur version of it. And the thing is, if you're going to enjoy it and so I never wanted to, if I was going to be good at something, I wanted to be something that I could get excited about it and do it over and over and over again. Otherwise I'd be mediocre. And if I was mediocre at it, I wouldn't want to do it.

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Exactly. Anything that I've ever done, Larry, I put my all into it because number one, I just, I know that you know that old question, what's in a name? Right. When someone hears the name Tanya Po, I want them to think of someone that is trustworthy, hard working, a get it done person. And if I'm never displaying that, then that's not what people are going to associate with my name. And I've always been that way. I was brought up instruments and I was in the. I was an orchestra first and I was played the violin and I was trying to become first chair. I was third. Then I worked my way up to second and I never got first chair because I didn't want it as bad as the other person wanted it. I didn't have a passion. I liked playing the violin, but I didn't love it. It wasn't on my mind constantly. I tried again. In high school I played the clarinet and I was in a band for 9th grade and 10th grade. And then by 11th grade I didn't have a passion for it anymore. I didn't want to do all those practices. I didn't care to play. And so if I'm going to be mediocre at it, I'm just not going to do it. And so I ended that. And I've just been that way my whole life. If I'm going to do it, I have to put my all into it. And I think that people are very concerned with what someone thinks and I think that is controlling them and it's hindering them from growing and elevating to achieve some of the things that they say they want to achieve. See, their mouth is saying one thing, but their work ethic and dedication is saying something totally different. And that those things have to be in align with one another. And that takes a lot of really not caring what other people think of you. You know, we know what they say. If you have a goal or dream and they're laughing at it, if no one's laughing at it, then it's not big enough. If no one's calling you crazy or looking at you like what is wrong with you? Then it's not big enough. You're not, you know, thinking of something or pursuing something that seems unattainable. It seems that way. But when you do something and have enough passion behind it and do it long enough, it's attainable. Anything that you want to do, you can do. You put your mind to it. But how bad do you want it? How Much sacrifice are you willing to take and how hard are you willing to work? And I just feel like America as a whole has a problem with that, has a problem with work ethic. It just seems that we've gotten to the point where people want a lot of something for nothing. They would much rather have something given to them than to work for something. And I'm not speaking about everyone, but we have a vast majority. That's what it is. And then that's a global process, global epidemic of people wanting something for nothing when they don't. When they don't even realize that they have the power within themselves to change the whole direction of their life and their family as well. And it's just really, it's a sad situation that people don't take the time to even know themselves, to even know what power they possess, to take time to sit down with you in a book and read up on things that have been researched and apply some of the skills that they're telling you to apply. When I started doing that and I saw that, wow, that worked and that worked, and this worked, and you start reading things about. I read a lot of books on people because I'm in a people business, so I read books on pushing up people and having skills with people. I want to be highly skilled on people, the art of dealing with people. I want to be skilled on how to deal with. Deal with people, you know, and so I did the homework and the research to improve and enhance my skill set, which has allowed me to be able to have a tremendous income and a tremendous business based off of knowledge that I have acquired in these last 13 years. And I'm the first to say, anybody can do it. Anybody can do it. Why is it you take two people and, you know, one might be from a background and you would swear, which just the right setting, the right everything. And the other one is nothing's looking promising about where they're from or what they used to do. But it's about the moment that you're living in right now. How bad do you want it? Right now? How much do you want to change? How bad do you want it? And you could take those two people and you'll be surprised that the person that doesn't look the most promising is the one that made the biggest change, and the one that changes the most is going to be the best. That's just the bottom line. And when people realize that, they would understand they have more power than they think they have over their lives. Larry?

Yeah, and the thing is that, you know, life satisfaction, enjoyment, confidence, this, that and the other comes from things you do not, gifts that people give you. Charity is never going to lead you to happiness, folks. You know, give me this, give me that. I deserve. No, you don't deserve a thing. But you do have an opportunity to go out and make it happen. And it's, you know, if you're miserable, we see that even in the office, in our staff, you know, the people come in and they're just miserable. Well, you need to be somewhere else.

Right?

Right. Go find someplace. I had to let my executive assistant go in January. And I said, you know, this. This is heartbreaking for me. It's never happened before, but, you know, you're the best I've ever had at this position. I mean, it's just like every time I say, you know, like every day, thank goodness she's there, she knows. But I said, somehow in your personal life, you're just sad, you're just miserable, you're just angry. And for 18 months, I have tried on my side, you know, to get you more help, to get you more money, to get you better equipment, to give you different titles, to do this, to do that. And I said, you're still miserable. And I said, the trouble is it just splashes all over me and everybody else, and you're first class and probably the best I'll ever have in that position, but it's not worth having the bad attitude.

Oh, Larry, that's so funny you say that. Not to cut you off, but I had to get. I got rid of my office manager of 10 years back in October. It was one of the worst experiences ever. But the negative energy, I just couldn't take it anymore. The negativity, the gripe and the fuss, and I just couldn't take it. Very good at her job. Very good at her job. And I'll say this, very good at her job. But guess what? I got someone better. Didn't think they existed. I didn't think they existed, but I have someone better. And it was rough for a minute, but like you said, it was necessary. I was not willing to compromise anymore. I was not willing to carry your energy. I was not willing to do it. And it was tough, but especially after 10 years of building and watching, it was very tough, but I had to do it. I had to do it. And you have to protect your own peace and protect your own energy when people don't want to change and they don't want to grow.

Yeah. And so that's the thing that if you're not. You know, again, the frustration thing, if you're not feeling like you're getting close to something wonderful happening in your life, maybe it's a number of years off, but you're making progress towards something that you feel would be wonderful, would be exciting, would be enjoyable. And you're miserable where you are and you're just going through the motions. You need to make a change because you're not doing yourself any favors. You're not doing anybody any favors where you work. And life is short. Life is very short. You're wasting your life. And everybody's designed to do something great. Maybe not something great at work. Maybe work is where you just get the groceries and the money to survive and then you do your great things in your personal life and your personal activities. You know, it's a combination. It's not necessarily everybody's going to do something great in business, but the thing is, you should feel special about your life, dadgummit, you know, and you should feel like you're accomplishing something. You're making a difference. You know, you're right. You know, there's a reason for you being here. And you know, you're going to try new things and you're going to be fresh and you're going to meet new people and have new experiences in or outside of business. You know, regardless, you know that you're going to be on the attack, you're going to be a force for positive things happening. And if you don't have that feeling, that's a sign to you, no offense, that you're in the wrong place. And the thing is, we can take Tom Brady and the greatest quarterback of all time in football, and if we stuck him at tight end or defensive back, he would be terrible. I mean, he wouldn't make the team. He got to get in the right slot, folks. You got to get in a slot in life, in business, that feels right to you. And because you're never going to make, you know, the square peg in a round hole type thing. And so give yourself. Don't feel like if you have to make a change, I mean, people make changes all the time. You know, move up, look around, find what you know, find what you're curious, what you can get excited about and go there, give it a shot. But don't waste your life just being lukewarm, dragging around, making excuses, being miserable, blaming the world.

And.

When that didn't have anything to do with, you could still have a great life and accomplish great things. Regardless of all these things that you let bother you?

Yes, definitely.

When you have that forward thrust, that momentum, you can bounce through. You know, somehow the problems of life don't seem to bother you quite so much because it's like, well, that's just part of it. Boom, boom, boom. And because you got your eye, the old eye on the prize type thing, which is a very real thing. And it's like this. Do you have your eye on a prize? You should. You really should. And that's. If you don't, that's on you. And don't be blaming everybody else. Nobody knows what is a prize that would be most interesting to you. That's your job to figure that out. Do you have a last comment to make on that subject, Tanya?

You know, I have always just wanted more. I used to say that I didn't have a specific thing growing up that I wanted to do. I kind of want to be a journalist or whatever, but I wanted to be successful. Success was important to me. And I just think that people need to find out what's important to them. And success being important to me was one of the reasons why I was so open minded when presented with the opportunity to start my own business. I was open minded because the things that I were doing prior was not getting me the success that I actually wanted. And because I had a desire, a burning desire to be successful and to be in a financial position to where I didn't have to worry about bills all the time. I didn't have to make 50 million decisions based upon the money that I had and didn't have at the time. So because I was so passionate about wanting to put myself in a better financial position and become successful, this is what I knew that when the opportunity came across that, hey, I'm going to jump on it. Because, you know, having the jobs and switching professions and all these things that I was doing was, yeah, you know, you switch one profession to another one to make a little, a little more money. Right. But at the end of the day, it still was. I was still in a position to where I didn't like it. So I think people need to explore themselves, get to know themselves, spend time with themselves to get to know what do I really want and what am I willing to do to achieve it. And when you ask most people, Larry, what they want, I really think that they just don't know. They just work is directed. They're just going along to get along and working to pay bills and that's not living.

And just realize folks, you know, like, you can't it's not. Life is not supposed to be you drifting down the river of life wherever life takes you. You're supposed to be captain of your own ship. You're supposed to be making decisions. You're supposed to be setting sails for certain destinations that you can get excited about and driving yourself towards them rather than just bumping along wherever the wind blows. And I think that's why a lot of people are not putting a lot of energy into it, because they're not.

At.

A place by design. They're just out of place because that's just what came along. And let's face it, your life is too valuable. Life is too short for you to be wasting it in a place with people that you don't enjoy. And you're not making a great contribution, not learning new things and accomplishing things that are meaningful to you. So thanks so much. Thanks so much, Tanya. This has been a lot of fun, and hopefully we've gotten people's mind turned on and thinking about adjustments, decisions, and things that can cause them to get even more excited about their future. Thank you, Tanya.

You're so welcome. Thank you, Larry, for the opportunity.

If you enjoyed what you've heard and are dead serious about finding out for yourself exactly how this works in the real world, I've taken the most valuable business lessons I've learned over 40 years and put them into something for you to watch. Go to whiteellawinning.com webinar now in order to move up as fast as possible. I'm Larry Wydell and I run the Million Dollar Mastermind. Go, go, go.