Part 2 - Lost, Fired, Or Failed? Here's What To Do Next

Welcome to this edition of the Million Dollar Mastermind podcast. This is where we pick the brains of high achievers from all walks of life and get their hard earned real world insights on winning. I'm your host, Larry Wydell. Talk about your workshop. What's your workshop?

So the workshop is launching in October and I'm super excited about it. So I'm not sure when this will air, but it'll be out there probably in October. Okay, great. Well, it's called the now what Workshop. So it is a workshop around this just happened. Like you get fired, you failed, you lose a loved one, some big traumatic event, you screw up and you just think your life is over. It's the now what workshop. It is my workshop around resilience. It's a lot of my resilience research and the stuff that's in both of my books and it is a real simple way to just step in and go, let me get on the other side of this thing. And I just walk people through that like, yeah, yeah. It's called the now what Workshop And I'm really excited to put it out into the world. And it's similar to what I've been doing from stages as a keynote speaker. I've done a lot of mentoring and it's very much from my first book and talks about the commonalities in both entrepreneurs, businesses, individuals, athletes who go through tough times and then how, whether it's, you know, whether it's Lego reimagining themselves through the years from the 40s till now with AI and or it's some other, you know, SAS company software as a service company like I used to work with, how did they, how do they evolve through, you know, constant connectivity and advances in technology? And some of what you talked about, what's the session planning look like? What is it? What does five years from now look like? How does that look? So all those pieces and it doesn't.

Have to be level, you know, the thing is that you're not going to be know specifically what it's going to look like and you don't need to waste a lot of time like what's your five year plan? What's your ten year plan? What are you talking about? We're just trying to get through tomorrow. You know, that's what an entrepreneur thinks. But in general terms you can plant the idea 5 years is going to be here, 10 years is going to be here. And so let yourself be aware of that. And then you say, what are my choices about how that would be in Five years, you know, well, it's either going to be up, down or the same. Probably not the same. So it's either going to be up, down, I'm going to be more run ragged or I'm going to be less run ragged. I'm going to be more productive, less productive. Where do I want to be? What picture would I like? You know, you at least get the, what we talked about the picture, right?

So do you want to be sitting in an office? Do you want to have people reporting to you? Do you want a small team? Do you want a big team? Do you want to be in a city? Do you want to be out in the country like five years from now? If you're going to work towards something, you have a small team. I worked at a big software as a service company, So I did 12 years in tech and on the executive team and took the company through an ipo. Head of marketing, comms on a plane all the time jumping back and forth to New York. Goldman Sachs was lead left in a suit every day. I knew during that that wasn't going to be my whole life. That was going to be a chapter of my life. And now I wanted a small space with a small team. I want a window where I can look out. I want to be able to go for a walk on the beach in the morning. I wanted that to be my five years from now. And so that's what I've worked towards. Other people, whatever your vision is, if you want a big team, if you want a big city, that's what you're working towards. So that's what that vision is. You don't have to know all the answers and how you're going to get there. And it's probably not going to be if you have a perfect plan, it's probably not going to happen that way because nothing ever goes as planned. So just have an idea, right?

And the thing is, let's just kind of frame the thing for people listening. It's like if you work hard, you're going to beat half the people. So you're going to be successful compared to most people and your business will be successful compared to most businesses. If you work, just work hard. Now if you follow a pattern, the success pattern, in other words, kind of generally pattern what the most successful people do in your arena or your area, you're probably going to beat 90% of the people because you're not going to be chasing down as many dead ends as you would if you didn't have a general method to Your madness. And so if you work hard and you have a little a management philosophy kind of put together from seeing successful people, you're going to be successful. Now, what comes from that is options. And I just wanted to say the options come. You're going to have lots of things to say no to and a few things to say yes to, because you can't say yes to everything. And so the more you plug in this thing that we're talking about of having a general idea of what you want, you can get excited about down the road for yourself, you're more likely to make those choices of the yeses that would get you there. And it's easier to say no to the ones that sound good because. But the good is the enemy of the best. But you're not going to know what the best is unless you have some concept and you've let yourself at least generally take a look at what would be ideal because you're going to be successful. You may not feel like it now, but you're going to turn out to. To be successful if you work hard and you put a method to your madness and you're going to create some great options in your life. So you might as well be able to put yourself in a position now to make the best choices for yourself because that'll keep you running at full speed. That's the main thing of that, is to keep yourself running at full speed, which you have done in your career.

Yeah, and success looks different for all of us. Your vision of success, Larry, and my vision of success are different. And mine has changed through the years. There were years where I was in the grind and like I said, in a suit and jumping on planes and go, go, go. And that was what success I wanted. That's what it felt like. But that was a chapter of my life where I wanted to be able to put my kids through any college they wanted to go to and I wanted to be able to buy a home that fit all five of us and all the things. So I was living that piece of success. Success now feels different. What I feel, what I want success to look like, feels different. What you want success to look like is different from mine. So that's part of what you're talking about. And one thing you said is so spot on, is keep reading, keep pulling in people. Don't go it alone. Somebody has gone through this journey before. We're not reinventing the wheel, folks. Yes, there's more technology and more social media and YouTube and stuff. But you know, I sometimes I'LL just go back to Marcus Aurelius. Like, they kind of had it figured out, stoicism way back then. Like, it's not brand new. So listen to people around you. Find someone who has taken this journey and. And then learn from them. Keep reading, keep learning, keep tapping in. Those who have big success, don't go it alone. And you said that earlier, and I just wanted to, you know, expand on that.

There's a thing called brainyquote.com and if you go on there and look up the Socrates and Aristotle and, you know, all of These guys from 2000, 3000 years ago, you find out making good and bad choices comes down to pretty much similar principles. And you, you know, like the generals, you know, like even Julius Caesar and things like that, they were successful because they made good choices and they had clear thinking. And so that's another source insight. If you don't have people, you know, personally right now that can give you that stuff, go look and see how these people in the past looked at some of these issues. Because great ideas don't get old, and great ideas don't care who use them. And so what been successful, somebody else could be, can work for you. And that's what you're doing at your workshop, is you're passing on these ideas that you've picked up, you found you've accumulated. That's what this podcast is all about, by the way, Nina, is I'm making a stand against the interviewing professors that have never been out of their cubicle, and they think they can interview somebody and really know how they think and how they respond and how they act and how they win and. And they have no idea. You know, it's like they fed the gorilla at the zoo for 30 years and they think they know how the gorilla thinks, but they have no clue how the gorilla thinks.

Yeah, and so much of this is, like I said, it's repeated. So Marcus Aurelius would say something. And then hundreds of years later, Ralph Waldo Emerson says the same thing. You know, what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to compare to what lies within us. And then years later, Dr. Seuss says the same thing, just in a different phrase. So I'm saying the same thing. And you're saying we're doing our own mashups of what we have learned because we've just been around longer. Some of us have been, and because we continue to learn and grow and study and pass that along. And that's part of our work to do. But we're not reinventing anything new. There's so much great information out there and granted, I mean now with AI and a lot of new sources, we can tap into a lot more of it, but it's still just a ton of information from many hundreds of years where we can find people who've said very similar things through the years.

For those of you who are sick and tired of fooling around and are dead serious about wanting to move up fast, I've got something especially for you. I've combined the best insights from over 40 years in business and making $70 million in income and compressed them into a free webinar. That's right, it's a free resource. If you want to find out exactly what the concepts are that I use in coaching million dollar earners, Register now@wydellonwinning.com you'll discover the five part framework used by so many to reach their financial, personal and professional goals. You can find that link in this episode's show Notes. Well, congratulations on the success of your two books. And it can came because you had a wealth of personal experience, successful experience on those subjects, and you had a body of material to put together and package and pass on. And it resonated with people. You know, it was things that people go through. And one was, the first one was this is not the end strategies to get you through the worst chapters of your life. Which by the way, congratulations on not allowing them to talk you into shortening your title.

It had so many different titles and I wanted to put that typewriter on the front of it too that says the end. And they didn't like that either. I just said, this is how I'm doing. And I'm doing at this point in my life, you know this, you just get to a certain age and say, I'm doing this. By the way, I'm pretty sure I know what I want here. Yeah, but it's a little long, it's a little lengthy.

No, but I mean you've got people, obviously it was the right one because of the success. And then the other one is the what is it? But I want both. Or something like that.

Yeah, but I want both. So there. This is not the end. And. But I want both. If you just take out the subtitles, they're not.

Yeah. Now if you go, did you have help writing it? Did you write it yourself? Did you, Are you a glutton for punishment or.

I did write it myself, but I went through a book workshop I had before I had written my book. The longest thing I had written was. Was like a five part series for television news, you know, investigative journalism. So I'd done a five part investigative journalist piece. It's the longest thing I'd ever written. So I worked with a group called Difference Press back then. I think it's changed names since now. But they helped me organize my thoughts and figure out how to put this out there. To write a book that makes a difference. That was what I was looking to do and so that's why I chose them. And so I could have never organized my thoughts and made it as good as it is. I'm real proud of that book and would not be as good as it is without them. It's hard to write a short book and I say that because my second book is not my favorite because it's too long and I didn't spend enough time on really narrowing it down. Hard to write a short book.

Yeah, I was going to write a book, you know, during the not pandemic. It's a long story. But anyway, I was kind of at a health issue where I was immobilized and stuck on the couch. And so eventually it evolved into, okay, I'm going to write a book. And so I put together this, what I thought was a book, and I sent it to a bunch of my friends and they all said, hey, this looks good. Why don't you get a real right author and turn it into a book?

And I said, wait, that's what I did.

I thought I did. So I had to go get a ghost writer to help me. You know, I was intimidated when it came to writing, you know, the real book. But it's a hard process.

It's a difficult process.

Yeah, I don't think I could put myself through that. But, but you had guidance. And the thing is that don't be afraid to get guidance because there are professionals out there in pretty much everything you want to do. But what's great is the way that I analyze your track record is first, you know, that's like stage four of your. You didn't go write books, you know, right out of college. You did your athletic career. You were at the top there, you know, touring with the Olympic team. And you were right, right on the doorstep of qualifying for the Olympics. And so you went through the same program, the same practice, the same drills, the same schedule, the same intensity. And then you went over to. You had the college experience and then you went through the ringer of the. All of these are preparations for you to write the great book.

Right.

Then you Popped up and you had another career now and you went into TV and became this TV anchor, celebrity reporter and top for four years in the Charleston area and won an Emmy for top in the Southeast. So what I see with you, here's the way I interpret that. When you were in athletics, you had your goal, you know, total focus on making the team the competition. And then once you got out through the college things, pretty soon the thing is like anchor. You know, I'm sure if you're in a TV studio, you get in there, it's like, I want to get at that anchor desk, I want to get that camera on me. And so you pulled it off this time. I mean, that's the great thing about what we do is we work, but we're just talking. You know, it's like, you know, I've told people all my life, like, I'm really busting a gut right now. You know, I'm like a football player running 100 yard sprints. I'm just really putting out. You know, if you're speaking on stage or something like that, most of the time you're laughing, you're having a good time. That's what's so great about being in the communication business, you know, leadership training and even sales management. But when you get got into that business, how quick did you did it get in your mind that I could get on that anchor desk?

Well, you know, I first started off and I loved being a journalist. I thought sports was neat and then like, really fun to do. But then it was, they win, they lose, here's the score. And I needed more. So then I, you know, did some politics, I did some general assignment and I wanted to be the next Christiane Amanpour and go around the world and speak five languages. And then that was. I was not in the cards for me. And I got offered my first anchor job. I ran teleprompter and did all the crappy jobs in a newsroom and weekends and mornings and. But by the time I'd been in the newsroom for about five years, I was standing there with my hand held higher and willing to do anything. And an anchor position came open. And so I was 27 when I became a news anchor. I was very young and small market, you know, Charleston, South Carolina, big fish, little pond. But very loved by this community and by that community and, and gave me an opportunity to do a lot. So I loved that space for a long time. It was pretty quick for me. A lot of people work many more years than that before they get the anchor job. But I got that anchor gig and it's like what I told my kids, go decide to be great at something else. So I did that, decided to be great at it. I wanted the big job. I got disciplined, I got down to it and I got the job. And then I won Emmy for best newscaster in the Southeast. Had some big success. And then, you know, at some point I went through some difficult times in my 30s and said, what's outside of television? What could the rest of the world look like? And that's when I jumped to a friend's startup. And when I jumped into, his startup had about 250 people in it. So from TV to tech, I knew nothing about cloud based software. I knew nothing about the space that I was jumping into. But I just could imagine my life there and I knew I could learn fast. I jumped in with both feet and, and I became a vice president of that company. And we took it from 250 people, usually you don't, to 1200 people, and went public.

You know, let me derail you for a minute. Usually you don't. Well, first of all, anything you do, you're gonna run into problems. You know, I mean, if you're movie star, top anchor on television, you know, you could rattle off all their names. They all have, you know, Barbara Walters. I mean, you know, she's had nightmares and this, that and the other. What kind of nightmares did you run into to the extent that you said, no, I'm going to switch, I'm going to get into business, I'm going to go into something I know nothing about. Rather than climb the ladder and get into the Washington D.C. affiliate and get into New York City and be the star and be up there with Al Roker in the morning. And what caused you to say, this is over?

I had had some opportunities early in my career to go to bigger markets, but I had chosen to stay in Charleston. One, I was divorced and we had decided to live near each other. So the option to go to a big market was sort of off the table because we decided we would stay in the same town to raise our kids. So that first took it off the table, but then I really went through a very difficult time. As I mentioned, at 37 I was involved in an accident that took me from being reporting the headlines to being the headlines. And I'm not going to go into it here. It can be very triggery and we haven't really talked about that. But I went through a very difficult time where I was off the air for a while, recovering. And everybody around me sort of saw me as this person who was involved in this thing. And I didn't even want to go back on the air because I thought everyone would always look at me differently. And I can remember, I mean, Larry, to be honest, I can remember standing, like the day I had to go back on TV after being off for a little bit, standing there and grabbing my husband's razor and thinking if I just slice up my face, I won't be pretty and they won't want me back. And then I thought I could just be done with this whole thing. Like, haven't I done enough at this point? At the ripe old age of 37. How scary is that now? But I really went through a very dark time and I had to. I had a good therapist, I had good people around me. Put down the razor, called my therapist, went back on the air, was fine. But I did, I did a year back.

I'll give you, I'll give you credit. When you go down, you go real down.

I went way down. Yeah, I had high highs and low lows, let me tell you so. And my book about my low lows, I think it's.

People need to know. People need to know. Just because you feel like that you go through that doesn't mean you stay there. One thing I found about, you know, I wound up coaching million dollar earners in my career and one thing I found is never fall for it when they're moaning and bitching and whining and groaning and complaining and everything and their life is over and this. Don't believe it because the next day, that next afternoon, they'll have figured something out. They'll have you by the throat, you know, and you're over there feeling sorry for them. We need to get them help. No, they've got to. They have that resilience thing that bounce. There's something in them to where they might go down, you know, this is my thing about people think the billionaires don't bitch. No, billionaires bitch constantly. But it's brief, you know what I'm saying? They notice things and they get pissed about it and then they do something about it, you know?

Well, I always say it's okay to not be okay. It's just not okay to stay that way.

Thank you.

Yeah, it so well said. Yeah, it's okay to not be okay. We all have times when life just is crappy. But it's not okay to stay that way. And it's up to you to get yourself out of it. So I did. I got myself out of it and I spent a year back on the air and then I decided, you know, something I want to do. I don't want public.

How did you get yourself back in the air? Just. Just grid it out and do it.

Yeah, that's. That's part a big part of what my first book is. So I want. I surrounded myself with some of the right people. I started looking at, hey, I've got three young kids and a new husband at the time who. Who stuck with me, and I have three young kids. I had good people around me and I got a really good therapist. And hey, if people are listening, I believe therapy is like dating. Like, if you don't like your therapist, don't go back for a second date. Took me a few to find one that could really I. Because I needed action. I didn't need to be thinking about a happy place. I needed stuff to do. So I had some good people around me for that. And then I also started envisioning what life was going to be like that five years, 10 years down the road. And I had. Was able to do that piece of it. And I had to really work on the language in my head, the things I was saying in my head. The words in your head come out of your mouth and become your story. So I had to.

What was most helpful, that narrative? What was the most helpful for you on that? What was the most helpful that piece of it? Everything you were doing or your experience or your people around you or what was the most helpful to you in getting yourself. We all have to be. That's one of my principles was we all have to be our own best self coaches. Because once you get in your groove and you start to make things happen, things are going to happen fast. You have so many decisions to make. You can't run to mama and ask her and explain everything to her or daddy, you know, you gotta like, you know, you gotta say, nope, we don't go over here. No, that's not profitable. And, you know, and we do it all day long. I've had five of those things happen to me today, you know, where I, you know, I had to. Had to give myself a talking to. You know, it's like, no, we don't do that, you know. And so how did you get yourself mentally? What was the biggest help for you to get mentally organized on that?

Well, therapy, obviously. But part of what we did in that was controlling the narrative in my head, the things in my head that were going on and what, how I was thinking was a big part. Your thoughts become your reality and they also become your future. They become the world you live in. So if you say every day, this sucks, it's terrible, it's ruined. That's the world you live in. If you say every day, this is tough, I'm getting through it. I got a, you know, a path for the future, that's the world you're living in. So that being able to control the narrative in my head and having been a journalist, the concept of a narrative was really strong with me. So what was I putting out into the universe? What was my future going to look like? And starting to not just what was I doing in the future, but who did I want to be? Not what did I want to do, but who do I want to be? And I had to. That's where the values piece come in. And I know you've probably worked with this. If you worked with, you know, million dollar earners, then, you know, it's what are your values? And who was I going to be in the future? Not just what I, who was like, what was I going to do? And so that language, so the biggest thing for anybody listening and if you're in a tough spot, that language in your head, you're creating your reality, you're creating the narrative. If it was a book, all the pages of header blank, you're deciding the words that go into that page, those pages, by the things that come out of your mouth because people will repeat back to you what you say. Yeah.

I'd like to thank you for listening to part two of this episode of the million dollar Mastermind podcast. Timing is everything. You may feel that now is the time to get moving forward so you can do something even greater with your life. Now, if that sounds like you, I've got a free training video to show you how that transformation can take place. Getting introduced to how the cycle of success works has been a major transforming event for so many current million dollar earners. And that's exactly what this video is all about. And yes, it's completely free. Join us at the video@wearlyllonwinning.com and thanks for being part of.