Stop Being A Victim In Your Personal Life

Just talking with my good friend from California, Mario Arizona, and he was using the phrase victim or victor. Nice way of looking at it. You don't want to go through life burdened, overwhelmed, letting yourself being beat down. You want to go through life on top of things. You want not to be beaten, you want to overcome. You don't want to be behind the eight ball. You want to be ahead of the game. It's not that you can control the universe, but you want to, you know, here you're, it's out of control. And again, as I, you'll hear many people say over and over, the mark of people in the insane asylums are the people they, the number one symptom they have is, is they feel like they've lost control of their life. So it's out of control versus in control. Of course, none of us control everything, but to a large extent you're. You got certain things you know you can control. You make decisions and you're doing it so things can turn out for the best. In other words, so you can be at your best. Now, for some reason, many of us have problems with this and in fact the nicer ones among us have big problems with this. Because you're so kind and nice, you forget about yourself and you turn into this victim, letting yourself being abused by everybody else in your life and they really don't want you doing that. But you feel like you've got to help them out. You're smarter, you're more in charge, you're more organized, you're thinking ahead, you know, your mother, henning, everybody, you're. And so you feel like you, you've got to watch out for them. You take on a burden you don't really need to take. And so the thing is you need to start thinking about how, what, what are things that allow me to be at my best, what are things that I like? You've got to start thinking, what does my being respond to colors, styles and when it comes to people, personalities. Because what you want to do is build a pleasant world for yourself through your choices. It's like this. We don't control our length of our life, we have no control there. But we to a large extent can control the quality of our life by the choices we make. No one has total control. But the thing is, you're not going to have everything you want. But you can certainly steer things in a direction that allow you to be at your best. Now here you don't want to be a victim. You want to feel like you're in control. You're in charge. So you got to stop this. Like, I just can't help, but I have to do this because your personal life is so great. That's where you have to recharge. And so you like to. You want the world to be a. Your personal world to be a haven. It's like your bedroom. The colors you like, the music you like, the people you like. You want to arrange the room the way you like it, the styles of furniture to the extent you arrange it in a way that's going to make you happy. That's why you, you want your home base to be a place where you can recharge. Now, here's the thing to look at it. You look at it like this. If you go along and you have. Let's just say you're walking through a. A dusty area and you have a pebble jumps in your shoe. Now that is not your fault. That's not your fault that that pebble got in there. That could, that's a circumstance that could happen to anybody. And that is. It could be a pebble in your shoe. It could be a certain person comes into your life, it could be a certain person in your life has something happen to them that they've got to deal with. It really has nothing to do with you, but you wind up hearing about it or it comes affect you in some way. Well, these pebbles jump into our shoes as we go through life. Now, this is not your fault, okay? Not your fault. But if you leave the pebble in there, I think we can safely say, yes, that's your fault, because why are you putting up with it? Have you got arms, leg, health, a brain? Well, use your fingers, hands, reach in there, pull it out rather than go around, victimize. Oh, I've got a pebble. Unbelievable. Well, so many of us go through life and we let not just one pebble, but pebbles build up because we're afraid to exert ourselves. Do you know what? You can tell certain people you like them, but you just can't have them around anymore. It just bring. Some people are too much trauma. Some people approve. They can't be trusted. The other day we were thinking about some of these comedians that you see on tv, you know, the live wires. What if you had Robin Williams, thank goodness he's got a TV show now because it gives him a place to put his energy. What if Robin Williams was your neighbor? I'd probably be thinking of moving because that guy, I mean, he never shuts up. You know, you could never have him Come over and sit and have a nice conversation about somebody's going to be bouncing off the walls. Hey, let me show you this. At the other. It's just like some people have just. You know we had a guy in Georgia Tech, another student. Everything you say he turned into a joke. He'd either repeat it back or he'd do a sing song thing or he'd give you a thing. It's just like. And then he'd be gig. Of course he would always be giggling at his own jokes. It was just like finally just had to say get out. Why? I just can't put up. I can't deal with it anymore. You've got to feel confident to deal that because you've got to keep yours. If you let yourself be constantly run ragged your energy eat up by people and events that are no more than pebbles in your shoes to be dealt with. That's your fault. And it could turn you into a sourpuss that other people don't be around can make you unproductive at work and it'll directly affect the quality of your life. We had a cousin, the boys were growing up. They had a cousin from Tennessee. I remember he came to visit for some reason they came over. They stayed with us for about six, eight months and I guess let's just say he's 10 years old and at breakfast one morning he was having it when he first got there. We could just getting used to having him around. He wanted coffee. So he's out there drinking his coffee. Pour him a coffee. And he had I don't know like eight teaspoons of sugar in the boys we're looking at him saying what is. You know, I just can't believe it. He kept doing it, kept pouring it in. They. Somebody said something to him like what's with all the sugar in the coffee? And here's what his. Here's what he offered his way of explanation. I like my coffee the way I like my coffee. Well that into that. He did it because he liked his coffee with 90 sugar. We never brought it up again but he wasn't afraid to assert himself. If he's going to drink coffee he's going to have it full of sugar. You've got to have. Is that right? Is that wrong? To nutritionists all over the world. He's probably got had to have all kind of cavities from that but it didn't matter at that point. That's the way he liked his coffee. It wasn't for me to explain. Well it could affect your Teeth. It's going to get you wired at school or, you know, running around here. Be a little maniac. No, if he wants the coffee. Hey, not my kid. Number one. Other people's kids come over to your house, not my kid. I'll make them behave like little, you know, some semblance of behavior while they're my. But I'm not going to discipline them. Not my place to discipline somebody else's kids or explain anything to them. That's their job. So don't take on things and make things. Now if you have someone parent, you have kids come over to their house that are too unruly, they're not allowed to come over. Or maybe they take a month off before they can come back. So you got to stop. You got to take control of your life. It's up to you to not be a victim. And your personal, especially in your personal life, because that's your recharge. That's your home base. That's your sanctuary in the world. That's where you get yourself back. You reflect on life's events. You get a game plan about going back into the world and, and making a difference. And so that's when you really have to assert yourself. How can you assert yourself in business in a positive way if you can't really take charge of your own personal life? Victim or victor, Stop being a victim in your personal life. Start making changes. It's not all at once, but it's a step by step process. One step at a time. And you know what? One step can free you up and make you feel good. Just clearing up one. You know, every pebble you pull out of your shoe is going to be a relief. And all of a sudden you're going to start seeing yourself with more energy, a better attitude, more, you know, more of a better perspective of what you need to do. Living the life you want because you decided not to be a victim anymore, but a victor and to take charge your personal life. You're in charge of your quality of your life. Don't be afraid to make the decisions to make that happen.