Battling Call Reluctance to Crush the Shift

Hey, nice to see everybody here. My name is Wally Bressler. Actually, Stacy Peterson is a former client of mine as well. So I've had the good. The good fortune of going to South Dakota before, and I admit it. So cool. Listen, Lars, thank you. Stacey, thank you so much for letting me be here today. I'm excited to spend some time with you. You know, what Lars neglected to tell you is that he worked and actually, Stacey both worked their butts off to become some of the top agents in their marketplace. And, you know, because of the time in which they were running their business, you know, you had to get on the phone, and we're kind of at that point now where, you know, I mean, social media is great. Calling, you know, past clients is fair. You can market your butt off, but at the end of the day, at some point, you got to get on the phone and get somebody to come through the front door. Does that make sense? Right. At some point, we have to get on the phone. We've got to be good at it. And honestly, as the market shifts, you know, it's kind of a. I don't say it's bad news. The good news is, is that in the next 90 to 120 days, we're going to see a significant decline in the number of real estate agents that are currently in the market, which is going to be a lot more opportunity for the folks that are willing to go and get it. So a shift in the market like this is always good for people, but you've got to be able to articulate value. You've got to be able to demonstrate expertise. And at the end of the day, you can only do so much of that with an email, a text, and a video on Facebook. Does that make sense? Or Instagram. So the rest of it is really up to, you know, getting on the phone. And so, you know, today I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to talk about, you know, what. What it takes to. To be good on the phone. We're also going to talk about, you know, 10 strategies to help you really ramp up and master, you know, being successful. Phone. Then we're going to talk about overcoming call reluctance. Anybody here perfectionist? Do I have any perfectionists here? Raise your hand. No perfectionists here. No Procrastinators? Any procrastinators? No. Everybody's leaving.

I'm going by. Right.

No procrastinators. Perfectionists? Any. Okay, so, you know, statistically speaking, from my research, about 65% of the. Of the people in today's salesforce actually suffer from a very extreme need to be liked. Okay, they want to be liked, they want to get along with people, which is fine. But when your need to be liked supersedes your desire to a good job for somebody or to add value, that's when it tends to impact your ability to do well. So we're going to talk a little bit about also what over what sales call reluctance looks like and how to overcome it. So this is me right here. And that's a phone for those of you that are under 25. That's a phone right there. I don't know if you recognize that this one was the worst kind because if you, I don't know if you remember this, but if you missed the number, you had to hang up and go all the way to the back. So I always wonder how many people actually died like during the 60s and 50s that shouldn't have died had they been able to dial 911 without, you know, missing it. So anyway, right. So anyway, so let's, let's, let's chat a little bit here. So I'm, I'm kind of like the IRS of the real estate business. Like if you want to remain in good standing as a human being, as a citizen, you got to pay your taxes. And if you're going to be good in real estate over the long term, you got to get on the phone. Right. There's just no way around it. And so, you know, today we're going to talk about some things that are uncomfortable, not unlike the rock and the shoe. Some of it is about getting on the phone and talking with people. Some of it's about, you know, kind of where we've all come, we all have come from and, and maybe how that's impacted who we are today and what we can and can do or we think we can and can't do. So let me just, I want to introduce you my team. So this is me. I'm the co founder of a company called Phone Sales Secrets. I started about a year and a half ago. I spend time with entrepreneurs and salespeople helping them overcome, you know, call reluctance, video reluctance, self sabotage, imposter syndrome, and any other thing that keeps them from really accomplishing great things in their business. It's not just about getting on the phone. It's about, you know, what I call these hidden identities that are inside of us that tell us what we can and can't do and keep us from doing things that we probably should do to grow our business. Is that fair? This guy right here, he's been around the longest. He actually got in the business in 1998 as a real estate agent. Sold 72 houses his first 14 months in the business and then, you know, helped grow one of the biggest Coldwell Banker offices in New Hampshire. This guy's been coaching since 2001. That number is close to more than 40,000. One on one calls, group sessions, and in person training sessions. I've had the good fortune of working with, like I said, great agents like Lars and Stacey and other people around the United States and Canada. And that allows me to bring a really interesting and well rounded perspective to people as I talk to them about the things they need to do to be successful in today's real estate business. This guy just wrote a book and he published it. And it's kind of like half memoir, half personal development book. And it's about the things that I overcame to become successful at being on the phone and being a great real estate agent. This guy's a phone sales expert. Yes. For those of you who are looking at this, those are all my picture, by the way. This is just my funny way of telling you about me without making it a boring bio. So, Madeline, don't get too excited about it. It's just me. Yep. So anyway, specialize in prospecting. Objection. Handling, you know, progressive profiling, which is basically building relationships with people over time. Nlp, inside sales, hiring, onboarding and training. And then this last year, I was nominated one of the Success125 basket top 125 people in real estate industry that get results. So I've been really blessed, very fortunate to have a great real career in the real estate industry as an agent and also as. Hey, trainer. So this, you know, oddly enough it's funny because when I do this live, I actually hand out barf bags. I actually bought a bunch of barf.

Bags and I give this, I give them out to people so they can have them as we go through this.

Because this scenario probably makes a lot of people very uncomfortable. So let me, let me do this. Let me make sure I get the.

Volume up here so you can hear this.

But tell me if this, this sounds like a conversation. There's. There's that.

Sorry about that. Please hold.

So tell me if this sounds like a conversation you may have encountered at some point. This is from Boiler room.

Hello? Hi, Ms. Estavis, this is Ron calling you from the Daily News. How you doing this morning?

It's Davis and I'm not interested.

Okay.

I'm sorry to Bother you? Have a nice day.

Wait a minute.

Wait.

That's your pitch? You consider that a sales call? Well, you know, I get a call from you guys every Saturday and it's always the same half ass attempt. If you guys want to close me, you should sell me.

All right.

All right. Start again.

Okay.

Hi, this is Ron from the Daily News. How are you doing this morning?

What do you want?

It's not what I want, sir.

It's what you want.

Ron, now we're talking. All right, what are you selling me?

I'm offering you a subscription to the Daily News at a substantially reduced price. We're trying to reach out to people that have never had home delivery before.

Right, so basically you're saying that everybody else who already has a subscription is getting on this one.

Yeah, I guess so.

All right, well, I can handle that. So tell me, why should I buy your paper? I mean, you know, I. I mean, why shouldn't I get the Times as a voice, you know?

Well, the Village Voice is free, sir, so if you want it, you should certainly pick it up. But the Daily News offers you something no other people can. A real taste of New York. We have the best features, more photographs than any other daily in New York. And we have the most reliable delivery in the city. Now, what do you think?

You know what I think, Ron? I think that was a sales call. Good job, buddy.

So you're going to buy a subscription?

No, I already get the Times.

So. Right you do. Hold on a second here. Sorry about that. So you do. You do. You do your best job right now, Jill. You had like this smile on your face. Was that a nervous smile? Were you, like, nervous, like for what was going to happen? Now you just feel like you've lived that before. Okay, I saw Diane. Diane's head. She's like on the side of the screen, she had her hand on her face, like. Were you hiding from this? Did bother you? Troubled you? No. Okay, so anyway, here's the thing. It's. It's. It's one of these things where most people don't like to get on the phone. And a lot of it has to do with that potential outcome, right? Because, oh, my God, what's going to happen on the other end? And so let's talk about. So basically I want to go through some numbers about the fact that the phone is still a valid means of actually helping, getting in touch with people to do business. Even with that. That. That ever hard to nail down Millennial group. So this is some interesting data here. So by the way everybody knows who this is right here. Again, if you're younger than 25, you probably don't. That's LL Cool J, right? Right. The very first line of mama said knock you out was said, don't call it a comeback. I'm aging myself. I got it. So here's the thing. Phones actually have really never left the important part of doing business. And so right here, if you look at these arrows, you can see that at least a quarter of every age group, millennials, Gen X, and then our friends that are kind of in the baby boom generation, at least a quarter of them roughly, would prefer to talk to somebody before making a purchase. Here's the other thing. And you know this one right here. Before buying a big ticket item, for example, one that costs over a thousand bucks, over half the people in general want to talk to somebody. Last time I looked, house is over a thousand bucks. If you break it down by age group, still very, very important for people to talk to somebody. And I think, you know, take this for checking. I think we're more worried about getting on the phone to talk to people than they are about getting in talk on the phone with us. Would you agree? I think we have more of an issue. We have more of a, I guess you would call it a confirmational bias, meaning we already think that people don't want to talk to us, which they do. And quite honestly, if it's way, way before they're ready, they might not to. But at some point, people do want to talk to somebody when it comes.

Time to making a decision.

Now, Whoopsie. All right, so right here, okay, so 28% of calls are answered. That means that the rest of them are not. And I think that kind of gets in people's ways. Right? You're only going to talk to 25% of the people for whom that you get leads for. In general, you know, you get 100 leads, you might sell one to three houses. Granted, the payoff is great, but you got to kiss a lot of frogs.

To find a prince.

Here's the big one right here. 69 of buyers have accepted phone calls from new providers in the last 12 months. Right. And I think we have to take a look at what happened over the last couple years since like February 2020 until June of this year as an aberration. You know, I don't know, you can, I mean, you folks, I know how folks, long you folks have been in here, but Lars, do you recall a time when you were just holding thing outside with a basket Waiting for opportunities to fall in a basket prior to the last two years. No, sir, right now, I mean, you know, you got to, you got to, you got to do some work. You know, this is important too here, right? I mean, I'm not a big fan of voicemails, by the way. I'm going to give you a little tip today.

If you call and leave anybody a.

Voicemail that you don't know, all you should do is this. You should call and say, hey, this is Wally, looks like I missed you. Give me a call back and leave your number. I guarantee people will call you back if you call and say, hey, this is Wally, I'm calling from ABC Realty. And the reason I'm calling back is because you had submitted a request for, you know, they're just going to click. But if you say, hey, it's Wally, how you doing? We use your own name, of course, but it looks like I missed you, you know, give me a call back. They will call you back. You will get calls back from people. Historically, I don't like leaving voicemails for people I haven't talked to. But that I guarantee is a way to get people to call you and call you back. Okay, now this is interesting right here. 48% of people do not make follow up calls and 44% do not make a second follow up attempt. Anybody know where the, the sweet spot is, or at least the sweet spot starts when it comes to contacting people. It's six, right? Six contact attempts, right?

Most people don't make it past two.

So if you're not calling that much, you're missing out on some opportunities and eventually they're going to work with somebody and the only way you're going to make sure you're that person is if you talk to them regularly. This one's really disconcerting for me. 44% of salespeople stop the sale after receiving negative feedback on the first call. Hey, I noticed you had submitted a request for getting some information on 123 Main Street. I'm not interested. Okay, have a good day. That's usually what happens, you know. And unfortunately, you know, we've got to go at least four nodes deep to get business 66% of the time. Here's another good one. 40 people. Every year, 43% of people change phone numbers. So always make sure that your data is good. So here's the thing. I mean, this data, hopefully you look at it, you see that getting on the phone is important. Now I think there's a misconception that we see lots of people out there.

Saying, oh, I do all my business.

By referrals and I get all this great business by referral.

And that's fine.

But I mean, if you want to, I don't know how many folks have been in the business, but Lars Stacey, I mean, how long were you in the business before you started getting good, consistent referrals from people? How many years did it take you? Five? Yeah, it takes a while, right? And even then you couldn't rely just on that business. Right? You still had to continue to fill your pipeline. So please know that, you know, there is a tipping point where you'll start.

Getting more referral business.

But you have to, you really have to hop on the phone. So let's talk about this. So this, this is Wally Bressler's down and dirty lead pipe. Stone cold log. 10 ways to own the phone or 10 keys or the phone. So you should work from your financial goal backwards, right? The number of home sales people. Like, I want to sell 50 homes. Really? I mean, your mortgage company really only cares if you can pay your mortgage or not really. So it really comes down to the dollars for yourself. So figure out your financial goal. I mean, we're at a point now, what about 45 days, you're going to start planning for next year, right? Mid November, you're going to start putting your goals together for next year. I mean, you probably got what, what's today? October 3rd, right. So we got 28 days left in October, another 15. I mean, you're looking at about 40, 43 days left to put a deal together to get it closed this year safely, maybe, you know, 60 if possible. So it's probably not a bad time to think about how much money you.

Want to make next year and break.

It down into how many homes you want to sell. So that's, I've got my dollar goal. What does that mean for sales? What does that mean for clients? What does that mean for appointments and contacts and dials? I mean, real estate technically is a mathematical certainty, right? If you track your numbers, if you track your dials, your contacts, your appointments, how many people show up, how many clients you have, any homes you sell? You know that if you talk to so many people, you're going to get a sale, right? And I think for buyers, I think every 15 or 20 buyers you talk to, you should be able to get a sale with sellers. That's closer to 55, 60. Those are my numbers, you know, So I think if you really focus on that you can make it so that it's, it's not just a mathematical certainty.

But that you can scale it as well.

Okay, next, put a prospecting plan together. You know, I'm a big fan of what we call the non negotiable. I know Lars is a good buddy of Cliff Freeman's, you know, as well, and you know, Cliff calls him non negotiables. Right? You have to have things in your schedule that are non negotiables.

You know, date nights with your significant other, time with your family, exercise, you.

Know, working on your personal development.

Prospecting. Prospecting needs to be a non negotiable. Whether you're calling past clients in sphere or if you're calling new people, you have to continually fill that pipeline.

Right? And folks, how many people are here from exp. Which Lars? Most people, would you say?

Probably about three quarters.

Okay, so same thing happens with your recruiting efforts, right? You want to recruit people, you got to build relationships. You know, I mean, a lot of people, you know, when they, when they build relationships, they send text messages and emails and all this other stuff, but at the end of the day, you know, you've got to have a relationship with somebody that, that requires some phone calls or some meetings.

And so, you know, have a plan where calling is a non negotiable strategy. Where are you going to do it? How long are you going to do it from where you're going to call? Make sure you're standing up, make sure you have scripts and dialogues, be consistent. You know, you only call once or twice a month and you get a lot of no's. It's like getting stabbed 15 times. You call three or four times a week and you're talking to people. The nose don't hurt as much, you know, I mean, it makes sense, but I don't think we sit and think about it that way. I mean, the no's don't mean as much when you get them, believe it or not, on a more consistent basis.

Okay, number three, make prosper or non negotiable. I said that. Here's the thing.

This is the one thing. Somebody has to be bleeding or dying or graduating or something really important has to be happening for you to not do it. They pretend you're on a date with somebody who's important to you. You're at your child's recital or something like that, or something that you would not, you would not, you would not miss. And you have to treat it like that. And you know, the old KW mentality is if you erase it, you must replace it.

You know, when Gary Keller wrote Shift.

Back in, was it 12, 11, 12 back then?

Right.

One of the things he said was, is he thought you had to do like 21 hours of prospecting to be successful. I think with dialers these days and access to information, I think you can get away with probably 12 to 16 hours a week and still have enough business coming in the door, which with, with what you need to do, especially if you layer in some nurturing of leads and also working with your past clients in sphere. So I don't think it's an onerous amount of work. And quite honestly, you know, real estate is one of those things where you only have to do it until you can pay somebody else to do it. Does that make sense? So don't look at it as terminal, you know what I'm saying? It's not like having a disease that's going to kill you. I mean, it's really something where if you look at it and put it in place, you can get it to the point where you're making enough money to go ahead and have somebody else do it for you.

Okay, Use proven scripts and dialogues.

I'm sure Lars can give you 4,000 of them. I can give you another 4,000. Find one that works for you and just use it. People are like, oh, I don't want to use script because I don't want to sound like a robot.

Well, the reason you sound like a.

Robot is because you haven't internalized it. Right. If you take the time to internalize it and learn it and use it, you're not going to sound like a robot. And quite honestly, you're going to be able to have better conversations with people. You'll be able to lead people to where you want them to go. I mean, it's all about having. Believe it or not, it's like baseball, you know, I mean, I can get three hits out of a hundred and I'm hitting 300. Like, it's not about talking to millions of people. It's about getting better results with a smaller number of people. Okay.

And then practice like you play.

You know, repetition is another of skill. You know, you gotta role play every day until your scripts are internalized. And then you get to the point where there's nothing that anybody could ever say to you that's going to impede your ability to be successful. And if you look at the things you've done so far in your business, think about where you're successful and if somebody says something to you, if you can handle it, well, then you've internalized it. And if you haven't, then you need to learn.

Okay, Oops. Number six, track your efforts. Does everybody have a tracking document?

Anybody need a tracking document to track the dialing contacts? If you need one, I'll give you one. I'm sure Lars has one.

You've got to track your efforts because.

You can't make any improvements if you're not tracking them. But anybody tracking their, their, their prospecting.

Efforts right now, either for, for recruiting or for whatever.

Yeah, I mean, you can't make any.

Improvements if you don't know what. You know what. You're not where you're going wrong. I mean, if you're making a lot of dials and not a lot of.

Contacts, you could be calling a bad data set. You could be calling at the wrong time of day.

If you're talking to a lot of.

People, but you're not getting a lot of appointments, you could be talking to a bad data set. Your scripts could be no good. If you're talking to people and they're agreeing to meet you and they're not meeting you, it could be what you're saying on the phone. They could be unmotivated. The point is, is that, you know, a lot of people go on in futility, right? They keep calling and trying all these things and nothing works. And they throw the whole baby out with the bathwater when the fact of the matter is, if they tracked everything and looked at it, they could break it down and figure out where the problem is, okay? So I think it's important that as.

You'Re especially, it's a great time of.

The year to really take a look at what you've done and decide what you want to make changes for.

Here's even better News.

You got 45 days, 60 days where you can now just start now. If you haven't track what you're doing and then you set your goals for.

Next year, you get 60 days a.

Day that we can go back and look and say, hey, every 15 people I talked to, I got an appointment. Every two people I got in front of, somebody bought a house. So I want to sell 50 houses next year. I need to, you know, I know I need to meet with 100 people to get 50 homes sold. Is that fair?

But I think that, I mean, doesn't.

That make that more palatable for you too? Rather than just starting out the beginning of the year and hoping that you might hit your number? Does that make sense to everybody? And listen it's not brain surgery. I'm, you know, I graduated last in my college class, I played college football. No brain surgeon. I know that. That math works though. Okay.

Find an accountability partner.

Accountability breeds responsibility account, you know, and.

Somebody said this to me, I don't know if you agree with me at.

Accountability, in my opinion, is the demonstration of true love. When you true love, when you love somebody and you hold them accountable and they're willing to hold you accountable, that means you really are carrying somebody for somebody at the highest level.

You know, you folks, if you don't.

Have an accountability, find somebody in partner.

Find somebody.

Find somebody who is better at something than you are. Somebody who's not afraid to tell you the way you don't want to hear it. Right. Because, you know, we need to stretch ourselves. You know, what's coming down the pike here in the real estate market? Anybody here been in the business before 2013? Anybody? One person? Two people?

Three. So not many of you. Right. I see.

So like three to four people have been in the business part of 2013. Like 2013 is, I mean, we're like steady like this. And then 2000, February 2020 was like this, you know, so you got in after 13. You know, you really never experienced what's coming down the pike here because interest.

Rates are going to go up again.

Home prices are likely going to settle a little bit more. The number of homes sold is likely going to go down. You are going to have to cycle through a larger number of people. The days of people taking flyers to list their home and get the most of the one or buyers that's going and running around and putting in 50 offers on home.

Those, those are gone. Right.

People are going to be holding off because of interest rates because they think homes are going to decline in prices significantly. And if you're not able to articulate to people what they need to hear, as an expert in the real estate marketplace, you're not going to be able to compete at the level you want to. Does that make sense? Like, I'm not trying to scare anybody unnaturally here, but unnecessarily, I'm telling you that you've got to take your, your expertise level to the, you know, to gain to a much higher level. You've got to take your ability to extrapolate what's going on in the market to what somebody's situation and give them a reason to get off the fence.

Right.

Interest rates going up doesn't mean that people can't afford houses. We just got to make sure.

We're talking to people who are looking.

To move within the next 90 days that have equity in their home or that have money and the ability to get financing and have a life event, the birth, the death, getting a job, leaving a job, marriage, divorce, right? You've got to really weed through all the crud to find the people that we can help. And then those people, we've got to give them a good reason to move off the mark in a market like this. And you're not going to be able to do with text messages, you're not going to do with emails, and you're not going to be able to do with videos and Instagram and Facebook alone. You have to talk to people. Does that make sense?

Right?

I'm, you know, I'm, I'm the least.

Favorite person I know of the people.

That I talk to because I, you know, I. You got to get on the phone at some point and, you know, and that's kind of what we're here for today.

Next thing, know your real why and we're going to talk a little bit about that today. Okay, but your, your why, like, your kids are a what, your car a what, a house, a what books. Those are all. What's your why Is.

You know, according to Simon Cynic, you've got to be able to. Income and inc. You've got to be able to.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Influence the outcome of. Does that make sense?

So if your kids are a what.

A why, maybe, you know, I had a terrible childhood with money. I want my kids to never have to worry about money anymore. Or even a car can be a why.

Like, you know, we had crappy cars growing up. I don't want to drive a crappy car. I want to drive a nice car.

I want to be able to feel.

Comfortable who I am. And it's okay to feed your ego.

As long as it's not the only thing you're feeding. It's okay to want a nice car, but it's not the car.

It's what it does for you.

Does that make sense?

So, and when you know your why, when it's not just, hey, I want.

To make a million bucks, but that million bucks is going to let me set up a foundation to take care of all the, all the single mothers.

Or all the, you know, orphan children out there, this is an entirely different story than just making a million bucks. So you need to know your why. And that's part of what I do with my clients is actually Help them find their why, right?

People like, oh my, what's my why? I want to know what my why is. And they never find something that makes them want to get out of bed at 4:30 in the morning to work out and want to get on the phone to talk to people because it's not powerful enough. And that's because they're focusing on things and are focusing on how can I go ahead and make something better for somebody, right? Simon Sinek's formula is easy. I go and find something that, that was painful in my life, I had pain in my life. And I either don't want somebody else to feel that pain or I don't want to feel that pain. And I'm willing to contribute X so that I can impact Y. I'm willing to do this so then I can impact this. That's what where your why is, right?

So you grew up a poor kid.

You grew up, you were, you know, you had a terrible relationship with your parents. You didn't have something you wanted. You lost everything. If you're lucky enough, you've lost it four times like I have because you've been a knucklehead, whatever. You know, you've had something like that happen and now you don't want it to happen for you or somebody else. And you're willing to do whatever it takes to never have to feel it again. Okay, does that make sense, that resonate with everybody? Because that's really where your why sits. It sits in the middle of all that. I want a car, I want a house with kids. It sits right there in the middle. Okay?

The next thing, commit to nurturing your leads. Here's the problem. Like the real estate industry has create a, created a bunch of.

What's the word I'm looking for?

We're like, we hunt and peck, right? Turn over a stone. No deal there.

Turnover stone.

Oh, here's the deal, reader.

Turnover a stone.

Let me focus on that. The problem is we should be turning over many stones and then continuing to go back to the stones where something's happening, right? The average lead converts at a rate to 1 to 3%. Internet generated buyer leads, expires, withdrawns, for sale by owners. I don't care what lead source it is, other than referrals. The average lead converts at a rate to 1 to 3%.

You're going to talk to 25 of those people, you're going to get one to three of them to do business with you. However, if I talk to somebody and build a relationship with them and I continue to talk to them and continue to talk to them and continue to talk to them, and then email and text and do all this other stuff, I can create an 8% conversion rate. Much higher. Significantly higher.

Okay, but that requires managing relationships and.

Having conversations with people on a regular basis. I talk to somebody, they're moving in more than 90 days and up to a year. I say, okay, I found out the date they're going to sell or buy, and then I go ahead and I. I find out, and then I basically cut back the time I'm going to call them to a little bit before half, and I can shrink it and shrink it and shrink it and shrink it and build that relationship with them. Okay.

In this.

In the strategy of progressive profiling, which is basically how marketing companies know to send you things that you like when they're marketing to you, because what they find out about you, we call it an oui. Find out one unique piece of information and bring it up on every subsequent call.

Right.

I know. Let's just say that Jessica's going on vacation. I talked to her.

Hey, we're going to Hawaii. Okay, great. Next time, I call Jessica.

Hey, Jessica, how was Hawaii?

Oh, it's great.

You still planning on making a move for the next six months? You are?

Okay, super.

What's going on now? Right? We heard if you guys remember Howard Brinton, you know, going way back, Howard Britton had the Ford method. He talked about family, occupation, recreation, dreams. Grab something on each subsequent phone call and bring it up. Every time I talk to them, send them a handwritten note. Jessica, great to talk to you. I'm glad, you know, you had fun in Kauai. Sorry you hurt. You broke your leg surfboarding. Take care, Wally. And then I'm off.

Right?

And so if you do that and show people you care, they'll want to stick with you.

All right?

And then lastly, number 10, conquer your sales call. Like that.

Here's the thing.

If you can't get on the phone, you can't get in front of a video by show hands here.

Who.

Who likes getting on the phone and prospecting? Raise your hands. Nobody. Oh, there we go. Anthony, my man.

Anybody else? I notice people turning their phones off. My girl Jill. There we go. Everybody else is smiling. They get that nervous smile. Oh, my God. I want to get on the phone. Right? Most people don't like getting on the phone.

Okay.

It's not fun.

In many cases, I am one of.

Those Tracy people that likes being on the phone.

If you hang up on me, I'LL call you back and say, we got disconnected. It happens, you know, but the whole.

Point is, is if you cannot get on the phone to talk to people.

You are going to have trouble growing your business. You're going to have trouble building your, your, your, your referral base.

You know, I'm saying. I mean, Lars, how much of getting on the phone would you attribute to.

Your success as a real estate agent and then as a, as a recruiter?

I mean, for sure, in the early days, I mean, I didn't miss a time block, about 15 hours a week where I was on the phone. And if, if I, if I missed it, I moved it, I didn't delete it.

And if you're being honest with yourself, you've had to kind of reignite that with recruiting.

Right.

You'd have to get on the phone.

Call people, talk to them. Now that you're building your revenue control group, Right? Yeah.

There's no, no part of it that I'm naturally drawn to.

No, but you're not. But you have to do it, right.

Yep.

Right. You know what I'm saying? And it's not something that people are naturally drawn to. So I actually suffered from. Thank you, Lars. I've suffered from call. I suffer from call reluctance for 10 years myself. Okay? I got out of college. In fact, I took a job.

And so let's tell you a little about myself here.

So I took a job trying to.

Sell, like, small insurance policies to poor people in college, and I sold one over the entire summer. And Mr. Willie came to me, says, you don't like this, do you? I said, no. He said, I gotta let you go. No problem.

So.

But it took until I was 30, just about 30, when I got my license, to get over phone call. To get over my phone call reluctance. So let's talk a little bit about that.

So here's the thing. So here's the deal. I want to tell you a little bit about myself. I'm going to stop sharing for a second so I can share this with you. So, look, here's the thing. If you have any sort of sales call reluctance, if you are afraid of getting in front of a camera, if you're afraid talking to somebody like that, it's not your fault, okay? It is not your fault. I promise you. It's not your fault. There's something that happened when you were younger that impacted you at such a level that it, it kept you from maybe doing the things you wanted to, becoming the person you wanted to become. So I'm going To start my, my, my part with this. So here's the deal. You know, I'm 54 years old and I'm going to start by saying this, that my mom and dad, I loved them, they were good people, they just weren't good parents. I, you know, my parents did not have a good relationship with their parents. In fact they were both treated pretty.

Poorly by their parents. And you know, my mom and dad got married, they were very poor. And one of my punishments when I was 4, 5 and 6 years old was to be sent to bed without dinner. That was a punishment. And so at the age of six, I, I started having a binge eating disorder. So I had trouble with eating food for, you know, not trouble with it, but I had a bingeing disorder from the age of 6. I was sexually abused at the age of 10. I started looking at pornography regularly at the age of 11 and by the time I was 12 I was having sex regularly. I was bullied unmercilessly until I was about 14. And so by the time I was 14 I pretty much hated myself. I did not think I was a good person. And then there was kind of a decided shift from the age of 14 on. And then I went from being hurt and the horrible things to becoming a very self destructive person. I've lost about $5 million in my life. Wasted it really. I was unfaithful to my wife four times. I was involved in some real estate investing in 2005 and 2006 and my real estate partner lied on about $15 million worth of mortgages. And I spent a year in federal prison for mail fraud. I ruined lots of relationships. Thank you. Welcome. Over time. And I ruined my children's lives. One of my children, after I got back from prison tried to take their own life and they've all been to therapy. And then in 2000, a few years ago, I was dating somebody for four and a half years and I found out about four and a half years in our relationship after I asked her to marry me and she said yes. When she wouldn't move to come see me in Illinois, I found out she was married the entire time we were together. And a month later I decided I was going to take my own life. And so you know what I realized? And so I've been working on myself. And what I've realized is that there are things that happen to us when we were younger that we're not aware of when they're younger that set us on a path of self sabotage and other things that put Us in a position where, you know, we make a lot of bad decisions or we're unable to make decisions because of, you know, the things that happen that we don't even realize. Does that make sense? And so, you know, if you have trouble getting on the phone or if you have trouble with being liked, if you've got, you know, there's people that have lots strong need for approval, they have a strong need for acceptance. They don't like themselves. They can't have good relationships with people over time. They're perfectionists, they're procrastinators, they've got imposter syndrome. And it's all because of something that happened between the ages of 0 and 12. And it doesn't have to be like a complete trainer, like, wreck like my life was. You know, I'm saying I've got clients who. No word of a lie. You know, he went. He was. Went over to one of my goddamn clients. Went to. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you so much. And so. And I'm sharing this story with you for a reason, because I know a lot of folks have had a lot of trouble in their life, and they've never been able to put their finger on the fact why they're not living the life that they want. And they don't have the relationships that they want, and they don't have the business that they want, and they can't, for the life of them figure out their way around whatever it is. And so, you know, that's why I shared my story. Because I know there are a lot of people on here that had something happen that they just cannot figure out to get their way around. And they're just not living the life they want. They're not happy. They're not, you know, they want to have, you know, great lives and become great parents. And the thing is, is we're all good enough the way we are. Every one of us is, like, perfect just the way we are. God made you just the way he wanted you to be, and you're just good enough the way you are, but a lot of us just can't see that. But I had a client that literally went. Visited the kid down the street four times. On the fifth time over, the kid's older brother said he, you need to stop coming over. That's all he said to him. And from that day on, that guy felt like he was bothering people and he was unable to pick up the phone by that one simple comment. I have a client who used to wear. She went to gym class and wore dress, few dress shoes to gym class one time. And the kids made fun of her for a month. And she became a perfectionist. And every time she left her house, she had to have $5,000 purses and her Mercedes car and her hair extensions and her makeup and her brand new clothing. Like, she did not want people to think that she wasn't perfect. And so the whole point is there's like this dumb stuff that happens that impact us in such a way that just keeps us from moving forward. And so that's kind of what I want to share the rest of our time together. Here is, you know, the way to overcome sales call. Reluctance has everything to do with looking back at what happened at some point in your life and saying, okay, you know, let's kick the crap out of this. And so look, car reluctance is pretty simple. It's either your inability or your. Your lack of desire to get on the phone. And sometimes, you know, it looks like crazy emotions, your fear. And, you know, anybody gets sweaty palms, sweaty pits, dry mouth when they need to go pick up the phone, it's okay if you do. You know, sometimes you just.

Yeah, Lars is like, that's me. You know, so I mean, happened to me, right? Negative thoughts and anticipation of the worst.

They don't need it. They'll turn me down. You know, they're not going to want what I have.

Oh, it's too early to call.

It's too late to call. You know, we come up with all these excuses. I don't want to sound robotic. I don't want to sound like, you know, like I'm scripted. You know, all these things we give ourselves, all these excuses. Sometimes it's a straight mental block. We can't get our way around a time to call. Like, right.

This is my favorite one right here. Oh, my God. Like those dishes that have been in.

The sink for a month. I need to go and clean those.

You know, I've got a garage. It's got all kinds of stuff that needs to be picked up. You know, there's all kinds of things we come up with. Procrastination. How about any. Any getting ready to get ready, people here. My presentation's got to look great. My car's got to look perfect. I've got to, you know, stop raising your hand. The whole point is right, oh, my. My presentation's not good and my scripts aren't good enough. I got to get my suit clean, my shoes aren't clean, I got to clean my car. You know, getting in front of A camera. There's a lot of people that don't want to get in front of the camera. For social media, it's the same thing, right?

They don't want to be seen, you.

Know, because they think that they're going to be judged.

And the whole thing is it has nothing to do this stupid little like 4 ounce piece of plastic, metal. It has everything to do what's happening on the other side of that phone. Am I going to be embarrassed? Am I going to be rejected? Am I feeling is going to be hurt?

Right.

Lots of people would love to recruit like crazy free XP because they see the opportunity, but they just don't believe strongly enough in themselves and they feel like that they can't call people to talk to them. And I guarantee there, there's a bunch of people on here, I, at least a third of you would rather talk to somebody you don't know than somebody you do know. You don't want to call people you know, because you're afraid of what they're going to think of you, okay? And then the last thing is we spend time beating ourselves up and beating ourselves up and beating ourselves up because we can't do it. And then it's this vicious circle and we just keep building, bitten the crap out of it. I see you guys smiling and chuckling and so I feel like I'm hitting home here.

So here's what happens, all right?

It's real.

It's.

It's not simple, it's not easy, but it's simple, okay? You were either sexually abused, emotionally abused, physically abused, you saw somebody die, you're in a bad car, something happened that was traumatic, okay? Or you were bullied, okay? There's two places we look for acceptance and approval when we're younger because we either spend our time at home or at school, right? So you don't want to be approved of at home or approved of at school. And if you're not approved either of those places, then you have issues with approval, and that's perfectly reasonable. Sometimes we create these hidden identities. We make an observation, okay? You guys don't know me, Larsing. I'm six three, I'm a big guy. I weigh over 300 pounds. I'm gonna play college football, right? When I was younger, you know, I, I convinced myself and if, oh, you're a big guy. You know, I took big as being a bad thing and I just, you know, I created this identity that I wasn't a good enough person and I was dumb because I was big. And we do the same thing with, with poverty. If you grew up and you had no money, you have this belief system that you're not good enough, that you don't deserve things. Or, you know, maybe, you know, you saw something and made an observation. Like, I, you know, we were poor growing up, but I made observations by looking at other people. Was not good enough. I mean, I had lunch envy. Swear to God, I would have, like, a sandwich and a piece of fruit and crackers. And kids would come to school with, like, boxes full of candy and cakes and sodas. And I would ask my mom, I remember cow tales. Anybody remember cowtail candies? Never had one.

To this day, I can't bring myself.

Even to buy one. But kids would bring those to school and ask my mom, come get cow tails. We can't afford them. Levi's. Didn't get Levi's until I was in high school. You know, tough skins and Nike Cortez sneakers. Like, all that stuff I looked at as me not being good enough because I couldn't have them. Okay? And we make these decisions internally. We don't even think about it. We just make the decision that we're not good enough for, that we don't deserve it or whatever. And then it just. What happens is, and I'm going to explain this in a second, but it, it starts as a tiny little seedling, and it grows into this ginormous, like, sequoia tree in our brain because we continually just avoid the things that cause that pain. And it could be a learned belief system, you know.

You know, you're, you're younger and you're.

Growing up and, you know, like, it's like Mike Hughes's dad going, hey, Mike, listen, you know what?

Don't go become an independent contractor. Nothing good happens to the Hughes family.

Don't try and do anything.

Just don't. Just go get a job, get health insurance, get life insurance. Don't try anything. Don't step out in the limb or anything like that. Hey, Greg Miller. Good to see you, buddy. Right. And so, you know, the thing is, is we get all this stuff. Like, I'll give you one other example.

And I gotta slow down here because I get excited about this. But here's the thing. I, I, you know, nobody, For God's sakes, Russell, nobody in my family has, is thin. Not, you know, and I always had this, like, little belly. And my dad used to say to me, he would be like, hold on a sec here. I gotta get back to the right slide here. I'm all excited I'm pressing buttons and doing all kinds of things here. Hold on. Where are you? There we go. Sorry. And so. And I had this little, like, belly, and my dad pointed at, and he said, you know, he says, you're always going to have that as long as you live. And so I figured I would have it as long as I lived, and I still have it, right?

But the whole point is, one of.

These things happens, and then your sympathetic nervous system, your fight or flight response kicks in, and you either act out or you check out. So if you know who Frank Shamrock is, UFC fighter, you know, he was abused as a kid, spent his life kicking the crap out of people, became a UFC fighter, made his living kicking the crap out of people. Anybody knows who. I can't remember his name here. He spoke at one of our events. Lewis Howes. Lewis Howes will tell you his story. Had a terrible childhood, but he said, you're never going to hurt me again, and spent his entire life fighting and fighting and fighting. But the rest of us who weren't like that, we became flyers, became runners, right? You got flight, you got fight, you got freeze, you got flight. And if you picked flight, you ran away. And every time you avoided that thing that caused pain, you reinforced within your brain that you were not going to do that, that it was going to.

Hurt you, and you avoided it.

And every time you did it, it got bigger and bigger and. And bigger. And now you won't even think about getting on the phone or in front of a camera or asking somebody a tough question or doing whatever you need to do to go ahead and make sure that you get what you want. And a lot of time, it shows up as a need for approval, need for acceptance. And again, it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility if you want to change it. Does that make sense?

Here's the other thing.

Like, you know, our subconscious brain does about 95% of the work every day, right? And when you go to bed at night, your subconscious brain turns into, like, a librarian. Remember, the librarian at school would take the. The books and put them on the cart and walk around the library, put the book here, put the book there, right? And so when you're in bed at night, your brain goes ahead and it says, okay, let's make sense of all these things and have an elk. Here's this bullying at school where we thought we weren't good enough. We'll leave that right there on the floor. And, oh, here's where your dad used to smack you on the head on the way out the door, we'll leave this here. Or here's where I looked at somebody and they had something I didn't have. And so what happens is every night it keeps leaving these things on the floor and eventually the card starts bumping up against and you start getting sleepless nights and insomnia and you start getting anxiety and you start getting panic attacks, you start getting depression, you start getting doubt out and all these things creep in because your brain just can't process it and eventually just avoid altogether. But you're not stuck with that, right?

You're not stuck with you.

That's a great thing.

Oh, sorry. So you're not stuck with this. The great thing is, and here's the thing, I'm 54 years old.

I didn't start working on this until I was 51, all right? It took me 45 years to figure out that I wanted to live and not deal with this anymore. And so here's what I figured out.

So look, you want to solve this problem?

Let's go identify the source. I'll give you one little trick I teach people. When you go home tonight, I want you to get two index cards and I just want you to write on it. What is the source of my call? Reluctance or video reluctance or procrastination or perfectionism or self loathing or, or imposter syndrome or whatever the heck it is. I want you to put it on two cards. They want you to put one in with you, keep it with you. I want you to put one next to your bed.

Most of you, some of you probably already figured out by the time we.

Were talking, if you have it, and.

You know, some of you already figured.

Out, you already know we had the conversation, I was telling you my story, like, oh, I remember this.

Some of you, it's going to take a little longer. But by tomorrow, if you do this.

Tomorrow, by tomorrow morning you'll know what it is that happened that caused you to get to the point where you're not getting all you want out of your life and business because you haven't been stable or wanting to not want to, but able to step out and get beyond that level of discomfort to.

The point where you're willing to do.

What it takes to take care of it. But if you want to know what it is, that index card will tell you. And I'm glad some of you don't know my phone number because my clients usually send me text messages at 2:30 in the morning. I hate you. Why did you do this? To me, you suck. But it's all part of the process, right? Tony Robbins says, and I love what he says about this, he says, you.

Need to go find out what the.

Problem is, but you don't need to get stuck on the problem. Does that make sense? You want to solve the problem, you got to go find it. Okay, but we don't get stuck there. We just use it as a launching point. Nick Nanton said that. Basically, he says, I help people.

Assess.

We say, he says, I hope people become self aware, but not self conscious. Okay? You become self aware, you got to find out what it is. But once you know what it is, then you can go ahead and defeat it. Then we go into awareness to find and identify. Everybody know who T.R.

Becker is here? T.R.

Becker is a Canadian personal development expert, and he has this thing he calls tfar. It's thoughts, feelings, actions, results. Okay? Get a thought or trigger, and we get a feeling, and then that feeling creates an action. Sometimes it's inaction, sometimes it's not moving at all. And then we get a result. Here's the problem. And if you have an addiction like I did, I was addicted to sex, pornography, money, and food for well over 40 years. I was addicted to all four of those, like, regularly, like, badly, like destructively, like, you know, debilitatingly. But what happens is. Or if it's procrastination or something else, you get a thought, you get triggered, but instead of going to feeling, you go right to action. So I get trigger, drugs, trigger, sex, trigger, food, trigger, cigarettes, trigger, alcohol, trigger, procrastination, trigger. You see what I'm saying? We don't deal with that feeling, but if we would just let that emotion come up and process it, it would go away. So when these feelings come up, you.

Got to be like, okay, that.

Okay, I'm anxious. Why am I anxious? Okay, that anxiety comes from the fact that since I was a kid, my mother and father told me I've had clients who said their parents told them that they were literally pieces of crap, that they were useless, that they did not love them. Right? And that's where that comes up. So we define it, we identify it. So I'm like, hey, there it is. That's anxiety. The anxiety is because of this, and here's what it is. And then when I. When I can, I can identify it and I can then process it. So the best thing I could ever tell you to do is that when you start feeling some sort of anxiety or panic coming on is to get into some sort of breathing Strategy. Like, I like box breathing. You know, you in for four, hold for four, out for four, nothing for four. And just let that breathing control your thought process. Because when you start controlling your breathing, those feelings will start to go away.

And then you got to reprogram your brain for success. Here's the thing. Reprogramming your brain, success is doing the.

Same thing you've been doing for however long you are up to this age, but saying the things you need to hear, that you want to hear, that you should hear. I'm a big fan of Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning. Great book, right? You're focusing on saying the things you need to yourself, do yourself. You need. You focus on doing the things you need to do. You're reading a book, you're journaling, and you're, you know, the affirmations. Especially, you know, I'm saying if you don't feel good about who you are, it's because you've been telling yourself you're useless or whatever your entire life. You want to change how you feel, change what you say to yourself. So you got to work on reprogramming your brain day after day after day. It's just another ritual, right? You get up in the morning, you exercise, you do some reading, do some affirmations, you do some mindfulness meditation. Eventually, you'll start feeling better about yourself, and it happens a lot faster than you think. And then we find out what drives you, your mastery out. We call it mastery, autonomy, and purpose, right? Anybody read here Lenobink's book Drive? Great book. What he says is that, you know, carrot and steak motivation is not great. Carrots are great, but if the carrot's too big, it's too far away, takes too long, we lose motivation. Stick's not great either, because if it's really painful, we may avoid it all together. So when you want to find out what drives you, pick something. You got to pick something. So let's just say, you know, tomorrow you wake up and you're like, you know what? I really want to. I want to put away enough money so that I can retire comfortably and make sure that my kids live forever, never have to worry about money. Okay, so what do I have to master to make that happen? Is it. There's. Is there some sort of emotional mastery? Is there, you know, prospecting masteries, recruiting mastery? There's all kinds of stuff you have to master. What does that autonomy look like? What does it look like when I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, and then what's my purpose? What is the pain that I don't want to experience anymore? And then what am I going to contribute so I can impact the outcome over something so that the thing that happens, wants to happen? Like, one of my wises is this, is that my parents never taught me how to take care of money. I've blown millions of dollars. You know what I'm saying? I bought houses I shouldn't have bought, in cars I shouldn't have bought, and all kinds of dumb stuff. So one of my whys is that my kids are taking financial, you know, financial wellness classes with me. They all have a credit card, They've all got a debit card. They all know how to save money. You know, I'm saying, like, I'm. I'm teaching them about money and what to do with it. And then, you know, my son's getting his real estate license, and I'm going to teach him to build a portfolio of real estate. It's going to take care of my kids for the rest of their lives long after I'm gone, because I don't want them to, you know, be 50 years old like I was and have zero money in the bank. You know, that's. That's a big why for me. Okay, so. But, you know, you. You've got to figure it out for yourself. And when you do, when you start working on the things that are keeping you from getting where you want to go, then you'll be able to really make some great things happen for yourself and again, find your true why again. It's real. It's real straightforward, for God's sakes. Like, what do I not want to feel again? What do I not want somebody else to feel again? Everybody has had some sort of pain in their life. I promise you, you've had something that sucked that you do not ever want to feel again. And you've got to tap into that, let that emotion lead you and drive you and then say, okay, what am I going to do so that I never have to feel that again? Or that somebody I know never has to feel that again so that it will come out the way that I want to? Does that make sense? Okay, so I just. Shameless Plug for my book. It's on Amazon. It's like part personal development, part memoir. If you want to find out a little bit more of what I went through and how I overcame it, I'd love for you to take advantage of the book. It's available on Amazon. The Kindle version is only 10 bucks. If you don't like it, let me know. I'll give you a refund myself. I have my own website. It's called reluctancephonesales.com.

You can.

Anybody can schedule 15 minutes with me at no cost. And I'm not going to sell you anything. If you got a problem, you want to talk about something, you're trying to pinpoint something, you want to get through it, you know, we're all put on the earth to serve. And I'll leave you with this for my good friend, the Punisher. At Marvel. You can hide your identity, but you can't hide who you are.

Right?

Because it'll always come back to who you are. Any questions?

Comments?

That's awesome, brother. There's just lots of comments, as you were telling your personal testimony. You know, just most people don't lead with their truth, you know, and I think it's just such a. We kind of see people where they are today, and we just, you know, we just assume they had it a certain way or, you know, must be easy for Wally, you know, like. Or whoever. You know, we're all jacked up, and that's ultimately the motivator in good med ways. So just lots of props. I wish you could read all the comments and just. Just really good comment from. From Ben. You know, Ben had a similar coach, helped him figure out that because he grew up poor, he told himself that he would never have to rely on anyone for help. So he equated making phone calls, asking people for help, and he hated doing the calls.

Just.

He was able to reframe it. So that's really awesome. Any questions for Wally while we've got him? We've got a few more.

I want to know who asked where.

New Hampshire was, for God's sakes. Is that you, Anthony?

You go north where it snows all the time, and then you take a right and there's a lane where there's.

Only igloos and snowmobiles, and that's where it is.

Justin said this was the most impactful preventer I've seen in a very long time.

Thank you.

Which I agree with.

Yeah, I appreciate that. You know, I. Guys, I just. You know, Brene Brown talks a lot about the importance of vulnerability, and a lot of us are afraid of.

I was afraid of vulnerability. You know, nobody wanted to be vulnerable. But, you know, vulnerability is not weakness, it's strength. And, you know, one of the things I talk about in my book is about becoming radically transparent and radically honest with yourself. Okay. I used to go to Like, I mean. I mean, I. My dad died when I was. I didn't tell you this stuff. My dad died when I was 23, right out of college. My mom died when. When I was 30. The average age of death in my family is 64. So longevity is not strong within my family, and I'm working very hard to change that myself. But I used to go to bed, I think, from the day my dad died, from when I was 23, I thought I was going to die every day. So he was 23 until about age 51. So what's that, 18 years for me? So I thought every day for 18 years I was going to die. And I would go to bed some nights just asking to make it through another day. And, you know, I. And I succeeded in, in spite of myself. I succeeded throughout life and had tons of great things. I mean, I played college football. I was on the Biggest loser. I lost 116 pounds. I've sold a ton of houses. I, you know, coached tons of real estate agents. I've been very successful by most people's standards, but I did it just to outrun the shame that I felt every day. And when I was finally willing to be honest with myself and, and, and be. I agreed, Alicia. But, you know, when I finally agreed to be honest with myself and radically honest and realize that, you know, I'm. I'm going in a bad, Saying a bad, bad direction, I was like, okay, I gotta change this. And when you're willing to do that and accept the fact that the only way it's going to change is, Is your. It's because of you, I mean, that. That's the only time it's going to change. Here's the thing. I mean, there's enough money for everybody to make millions. There's enough everything out there for everybody to get exactly what they want in life. But if you're not willing to do the things that it takes to make it happen, then it's never going to happen, you know, so, you know, God's taking good care of me. Lars, thank you so much for giving me the chance to be here today. I appreciate it, man. I asked Lars on a lark. I'm, like, just trying to get my story out there and meet with people. And I said, hey, I'd love to do a free training for your group. And he looked at my presentation like, 15 times. He's like, you know, if you screw this up, I'll kill you.

No, I didn't say that.

But I'm just saying, so I do.

Have anybody has any questions? I got, you know, we got a few minutes.

I'd be happy to answer some questions. Or if you got something you want to chew the fat about, I got a few minutes here. I'd be more than happy to talk to you.

Another comment by Jennifer. This session has made me realize that my fear of reject, of rejection is more powerful than I ever thought.

Yeah, again. And here's the thing. I swear to God, you know, I'm.

Not Catholic, but I'll make the sign of the cross. Swear to God. But if you want to talk, I mean, just go to. Hey, I'll put my calendar link in here. I'll save you the trip. You guys can schedule, turn on the calendar. We have 15 minutes. Let's talk. And I mean, I have a class. I'm not going to try and sell it to you, but if you want to talk and just try and make heads or tails or something, grab some time. Let's talk and I'll just, we'll chew the fat and sometimes it's just good to talk to somebody. I just sent that to Stacy because I was talking to Stacy. My bad. Sorry about that. How about if I send it to everybody?

And the book is Tragic Hero.

Yeah, right.

Like, here's the thing. I think one of the best things.

About talking to somebody like me is that there's nothing you could say to me that would ever make me judge you. And if you screwed it up, I screwed it up twice. So, I mean, we can talk about it. We can talk about, you know, whatever you want. I can identify. We can cry together. But if you want to get it off your chest and get a little hope and start, you know, getting over the fear of rejection, the need for approval, or all that other stuff, then.

Amir Huckleberry, here's a question from Izzy. Would you consider someone that can make a certain amount of calls and then they tap out? Call reluctance.

I mean, I, I, I mean, call reluctance to me is.

So I guess.

What that, what's that number of call, Anthony? What's the number of calls you're talking about, like ten or a hundred? And why do you stop calling? So you make a hundred. So you make a hundred calls. If you make a hundred calls every day and then you're done. I don't think that's call reluctance. I think that's, you know, but here's the thing. And this, and let's say this, you.

Know, it's, it's, it for me, it's not the number of calls, you know.

I'm saying, like, here's the thing.

I would. Your goal should be to talk to 10 people every day until you're so busy you can't do that. Okay?

If you can't talk to 10 people every day and you get into like contact three or four, then you're like, oh, I hate this. I don't want to do this, and stuff like that.

You know, you got to tap into.

Whatever that reason is and get over it.

Because this is where, right?

You know, this is where the great things happen. You know, when. When a horse wins a horse race, it doesn't win by length.

Sometimes.

Sometimes it wins by like a hair by a nose. But it's going that much more. It's working that much harder to make it happen. So if you make a hundred phone calls, you know, God, I can't do this anymore. This is driving me crazy. That's fine, you know, then you gotta be like, you gotta look at what is it gonna take me to push through so I can put in the 200 when I need to put in the 200. So there may be a hint of call reluctance there. Yeah, yeah.

Renee makes a comment. You know, someone told me if I'm not using a dialer, then calls are not worth doing. Would you. What would you say to that?

I mean. No, you know, but I mean, it is contact sport. You know what I'm saying?

Look, it's real simple.

And this is why I started off with. You need to figure out how much money you wanna make, right? You wanna make. Make a hundred grand. Then there's a number of. There's a number of contacts and a number of sales and a number of everything that goes along with that, right? So if you'll need a dialer to reach all the people you need to.

Reach to reach your goals, then you're good. Period. End of discussion.

Does that make sense?

Like, and quite honestly, Renee, let me. If this is not. It's not personally, but this.

This gets into the comparison game, you know what I'm saying? Like when we start comparing ourselves to other people and what's good and what's not good, right? We should never compare ourselves to people because comparison is like the thief of self esteem. It's the thief of.

Of.

Of happiness, right? If you don't use a dialer, but you're making enough contacts and you're doing all the business you want, then as the Italian say, see you later. Right? Too bad.

So.

But it all depends on what you want.

If you're accomplishing your goals, you don't need a dialer.

You don't need a dialer.

So. Right. And you know, they can go pound sand.

What is my website again? It's phonesalesecrets.com if you'd like.

I've got a 10, I've got an 8 part series, it's called, it's phone calls, phone sale secrets. Can I tell them about Facebook real quickly? Yeah. So if you go to Facebook and go to Phone Sale Secrets or whatever, I've got an eight part series coming up that, that's no cost. I'm just, I'm going over it but I'm going to be talking about how to overcome procrastination, how to overcome, what.

Do you call it? Imposter syndrome and about seven or eight other topics. They're an hour long, they'll be recorded, you can hop on, ask questions and you know, in everything there's like a, there's a syntax reason as to why you have call reluctance and there's an emotional reason why you have call reluctance. There's a synt reason meaning, you know, specifically not doing the right things in the right order where you have procrastination and then there's an emotional reason you have procrastination. Does that make sense? So go to phonesalesecrets.com grab 15 minutes. I gave you my calendar link there. Go to my, to Facebook. I post all kinds of stuff there. I've got an eight part series starting this Friday on different things that have asked different aspects of, you know, just how to make your life better and how to overcome some stuff. And all I know in the.

How many more minutes do I have here?

There's one more question. We technically have one minute but you keep going.

Okay, I'll answer the question then I.

Want to show another quick video here and then I'm going to bounce.

So the question is, Christine asked, do you break free with the consistent action of doing what you are reluctant to do or is there something more to it?

So it's a combination of that. Does that make sense? Like you've got to. Repetition is definitely the mother of skill. But. But usually if you have some sort of emotional block, it's hard to get.

Into that repetitive activity because usually self sabotage kicks in. Does that make sense?

Like how many of us have started.

Something and stopped something? Like we started, we were going great and a month later, next thing you know, day 31, you're like, eh, I'm gonna sleep in, I'm just gonna have this bar.

Right, right. And the Same reason you won't go to the gym consistently is the same.

Reason you won't keep a calendar, is the same reason you don't stay on top of your goals is the same reason all that other stuff and that has to do with, you know, your, your hidden identities and what you believe about yourself and you know, you're self sabotaged. You know, Rick Carson calls it your gremlin. Eventually your gremlin's gonna come and say, guess what? We're not that person. We don't do that. We don't work out regularly, we don't make calls regularly, we don't do well, come on back and let's be that whatever person you are. And so yes, Anthony, 22 days to create a new habit. But most people listen. I went on the Biggest loser. I lost 116 pounds. I looked like an entirely different person, right? And then in the next year, because I went and did it for the wrong reason and I hadn't fixed this part of me, I went, went from 398 to 282 to 405 in a year because I didn't fix the one.

Thing that needed to be fixed. And I worked out twice a day like a saint for months and I can go and do the work.

And so when I didn't do the work and I swear to God, we weighed in. So we weighed in for the, for the finale. I weighed In, I weighed 282. I lost 116 pounds in like less than six months. And then I, I, I, I said, okay, great. I borrowed somebody's car and I went to In N out Burger and I had two double doubles with cheese and two Cokes like that and it was off. It' done it work on the one part here. I want to show a quick video and then I'll let you go. Is that okay with you guys? Yeah.

Cool. And I appreciate all your time. I'm like so grateful for your time.

And all the nice comments and I would, I will talk to every one of you if you want to talk to.

I was just having a debate with.

A friend of mine.

This, this, I think this, this really is what, what this is what it all boils down to right here.

And this is actually the first video I show when I, when I, when I start my class with people I do, before I talk about anything else is the exact video that I show here. Hold on. The stupid share sound button. You suck. Okay, here we go.

All right.

Whether you like will or not, this is good. Good Good, Good stuff.

I was just having a debate with a friend of mine and we got stuck on the difference between fault and responsibility. She kept talking about how something was somebody's fault, it's somebody's fault. And I was like, it really. It don't matter whose fault it is that something is broken if it's your responsibility to fix it. For example, it's not somebody's fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it's for damn sure of their responsibility to figure out how they're going to deal with those traumas and try to make a life out of it. It's not your fault if your partner cheated and ruined your marriage, but it is for damn sure your responsibility to figure out how to take that pain and how to overcome that and build a happy life for yourself. Fault and responsibility do not go together. It sucks, but they don't. When something is somebody's fault, we want them to suffer, we want them punished, we want them to pay, we want it to be their responsibility to fix it. But that's not how it works. Especially when it's your heart. Your heart, your life, your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone. As long as we're pointing the finger and stuck in whose fault something is, we're jammed and trapped into victim mode. When you're in victim mode, you are stuck in suffering. The road to power is in taking responsibility. Your heart, your life, your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone. Hey, I want to thank y' all for your response to my IG story. The fault versus responsibility has been a lot of comments about that. There was one thing I wanted to add also. I wanted to say there that taking responsibility accept or response to my IG story. The fall versus responsibility has been a lot of comments about that. There was one thing I wanted to add also. I wanted to say there that taking responsibility, accepting responsibility is not an admission of guilt. Like you're not, you're not admitting that you're at fault. Taking responsibility is a recognition of the power that you seize when you stop blaming people.

It's not.

Not like you're letting somebody who wronged you off the hook. Like taking responsibility is an act of emotional self defense. Taking responsibility is taking your power back. I was just having a.

Anyway, I mean that's really what it comes down to. And I'm not saying anybody here's a victim or that you're blaming anybody else, but you're a different person than you were even five minutes ago.

And if you want a better life, if you want more money, if you want better relationships, if you want want.

Better relationships with your kids, if you.

Want boundaries, if you want happiness. I don't care what it is.

It ain't happening unless you do something about it.