How to Master Your Mindset, Focus & Habits - Part 3

Welcome back to the Business Freedom Podcast. This is part three of Mindset, Focus and Habits and really putting it all together in terms of some of the feedback from this session and Stacy Peterson giving her own perspective on where she's done well and not so well, and me adding my two cents as well. So the only thing I ask is that you share this with someone or share it on social media if the Business Freedom Podcast is helping you in your business growth journey and leave us a five star review, that's super, super helpful. So stay tuned for part three. Not every mountain is worth climbing is a good one, because you know when you become successful, you do have options and you have to kind of pick one and go deep on it so that you can take it to the next level. And then one of the questions in here was, what are you passionate about? I'm like, oh, wow, there is some stuff I'm passionate about in real estate. How do I get towards that? Because so many times I think we're just dealing with all the problems in leadership and we don't focus on, oh, cool, well, how do I delegate this? Eventually there's a time and a phase your business that you have to go through stuff, but knowing that there's an opportunity to structure that, especially with the systems and models that you guys have to work with within what you want to be working within in the business is cool.

That's awesome. Really good. Finding your passion.

Yeah, I had a takeaway and it was. I had a conversation with the Sissons over there, this was last week. And you know, we get so wrapped up and I get pretty wrapped up. I'm pretty high strung and I'll get all worked up about something that is not even. And sometimes I'll vox Thomas and he'll be like, what are they gonna do? His saying, is this to me when I get all like, whatever. He'll say, what are they gonna do, eat ya? I'm like, I guess they can't eat me. So, like, if that's the word case. But the conversation we had was Greg has a very a ground. If you ever get a chance to talk to that couple. They're awesome and very grounded in the fact that very little of what we get involved in on a daily basis in our business is as dramatic as we let our clients, like have us believe. And it's. You might look at me like, it easy to you to say, when was your last closing? You know, And I know you guys are working deals as you're in this room, but really, when you Think about it. And it's just. I forget what you said exactly, but it was like, you know, it's not. Yeah, just like, it's not as, like, dramatic as we make it out to be. And that's, like, pretty much everything in our business. And sometimes as team leaders, we can bring. And I do it in my personal life with Julie, you know, I could think of, like, five instances in the last two days where I just made one little thing, like, way more dramatic than it needed to be. And I'm like, why did I do that?

It's my job.

Like, she spilled coffee on this jacket, and I gave her a look that must have been the most horrible, like, literally. But I know it made her feel like complete crap. And after I did it, it was a moment afterwards, I'm like, why did I do that? Like, and she was holding my coffee, and she was holding my jacket. So here she was holding all my crap, and it spilled, and I made her feel like. Like just an idiot about it. And I think I do it with my kids, and it's like, I'm just catching myself a little bit quicker every time. So now at least the apology is way more. At least I recognize it. And the apology is, like, right there. So the goal is to, like, maybe not do it. So you don't do it, but if you're going to do it, at least apologize. So for me, it's just sweating the small stuff and, you know. Yeah. And not having.

Here's the club.

Someone said, don't sweat the small stuff. We've all heard that. And someone asked the person, what's the big stuff? And he said, when you're born and when you're. When you die, everything else is small. And when I heard that, the weight just. Everything on me just went away. It's like, you're right.

It's all small.

So I think that's what I told you. I don't know.

That's awesome. Oh, anybody else?

It's still here. Whatever. I think the main part is still intact.

These are really good shares. So if you heard something else or you wrote something down, share with us. I guess just going with that because I do the same thing sometimes I'll stress over something and I make it bigger and bigger and bigger. So what I've been just trying to tell myself is when I have a problem come up and I feel my heart start to beat really fast and I get super nervous or super anxious or upset, I just remind myself, this is so temporary. Like, this feeling you're Feeling right now is just a blip in the grand scheme of things. And I remind myself that there's always a solution. Talk it out, figure it out and move on. And that's just been helping me lately that the stresses in life are so temporary, but the happiness and the end result is so much greater good. Yeah.

Since we're on the topic, I just shared this earlier. The Mel Robbins five second rule. I don't know if anybody's heard that TED Talk. That really helps me. It's just to kind of trick your brain, basically. If you have some. If you're really emotional or you're kind of angry or you're just getting wrapped up in everything to kind of just tell yourself, count backwards from 5, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And then physically move your body and for some reason your brain kind of forgets about it for a split second. And you can like just really manage your emotions a lot better than just kind of reacting. And then also I forget, what if it was in a book or where I heard it, like, even if it's something that's bigger than like a really small thing, you know, just to ask yourself the question, like, is this going to be relevant in a week or a month, you know, or a year or 10 years, or does it have any eternal significance? You know, that, that helps me. A lot of times. You know, we're going through some challenges with our daughter who the. She's just spirited, quote unquote. And, and it's really like, it's probably the biggest. And I don't say challenge in a bad way. Like it's, it's game on. Like we're gonna figure this thing out, you know, and it is taking every bit of every. Like I'm all in the books and, you know, and really challenging myself to. And I'm learning stuff just how to relate to people in general, you know, where I just have a response for freaking everything. And it's like, people don't want that, you know, like they want to just be heard. And when my daughter flips out and she goes from like 0-100 mph in a split second, she doesn't want to be met with that hundred mile per hour intensity. She just wants you to understand what she's going through and just slow the thing down a little bit for her and get her down to a level where. And I feel like that's just good advice for anyone, is that a client is flipping out. If you meet them, you know, with a certain level of attention, maybe they just need you to be, like, a calming influence. I feel like the thing you said, if you could bring that to your clients, you know, and just be that, like, we're gonna get through this, you know, it's just a freaking faucet leak. Like, you want to tell them, you know, it's not worth displacing your entire family and not moving here because of, like, the fact that the seller won't repair this faucet. Like, we're gonna figure this out, I promise you.

So I guess just kind of piggybacking on what everyone has been saying. So maybe these things are happening and they feel stressful. And my biggest takeaway so far has been awareness. Like, all these things are happening, and we're kind of just rolling through every day, going through the motions, trying to get through things. And sometimes we don't think about how our reaction is really affecting other people. And so for me, maybe they're hyped up and I meet them at that same level, and my reaction stays with them for who knows how long because I didn't take a second to step back. And so this trick with the doorways and setting intentions and just being aware, so far, that's been my biggest takeaway is how am I coming across? How am I delivering when these people or these stressors are happening outside of me that I don't have control over? And so I think that's so far, for me, has been, like, my big aha moment. This that I need to really curb how I'm reacting and be aware of how I come across so that I can deliver a huge, big customer service level and satisfaction for these people and give them what they're looking for. And maybe I do need to be the calm in a storm. But just being aware of how I come across and how I'm perceived is a huge thing that I think that a lot of times we don't think about, because things we just go through the motions and they're coming at us, and that's that.

The person you're dealing with is slamming through their day, you know, just with no awareness. So that's really good. You have time for. Yeah, I don't know if I can throw that far. We got two more over here.

So I've been listening to some of your comments on how to deal with people and situations and things like that and reminded me that sometimes people just need to be listened to, like you were saying, but not in a sympathetic way, but in an empathetic way. And if you. I would highly recommend you look up the definition of the two because sometimes they're thought to be interchanged and they're not. But just trying to help identify the emotion that they're feeling and help them to identify it. And just because there's throwing up all this stuff on you doesn't mean they want you to fix it. Sometimes they just want you to hear what they're saying. And once they get it out, they may be okay. So, you know, just to sum it up and say, I'm really sorry that this happened or whatever, you know, to be empathetic about how they're feeling and then just address it with the fact of, okay, so what are your thoughts? What would be the ideal situation from here? And sometimes they come up with a less expensive or time consuming or whatever solution than what you would offer originally. So if you let them make the offer first, sometimes it works out a little bit better.

Real quick on that. And this is for all the married guys in the room. And it's from. I don't even know where it comes from, but someone shared it with me and it's been really valuable. And it's from Pet Parent Effectiveness Training. And it's an acronym. To your point, leap. It's listen, empathize, affirm. Then and only then maybe give perspective. And I think as men, and typically I can only relate because I just go right for the picture. Like, before you're even finished talking, I already know what I'm going to tell you and it's going to be the right answer and you should totally do it and all. They just want to be heard. They want to. And I think I've been working at this for 12, 13 years now, so I only learned this a few years ago, to be fair, but I feel like women do this really well with each other. Like when I see women interact like they are, and part of me is just like, I have the answer. Do you guys want my perspective? And they don't want any perspective. And I feel like that's just so valuable, like sometime. And Thomas does a really good job of this on our team, where I know he just wants to pee on our agents sometimes. And you know what I'm saying, with our three lead agents, like, he is listening and empathizing and affirming and you always throw the perspective in there. But really to train yourself to do the first three first, you know, you have to, you have to lay the groundwork to even have that relationship.

Okay. I was going to say it's sometimes a male thing that you want to fix things for sure, you know, so that's where the. Listen, My husband and I would just say, okay, I just want you to listen. Don't want you to fix. Just leave. Listen. I just have to get it out.

Yeah, that's good.

I just want to give real estate B school a huge kudos because just going through this book today and being here after three and a half years, I have a lot of smiley faces and a ton of gratitude that I didn't have three years ago. So it's amazing how just doing these exercises and not saying that everything is perfect or significantly better, I think just my perspective is completely changed. So thank you. Thank you.

Misty, the best last name for real estate.

That's right. So I was at a conference last week, and it was a far inferior conference to this one, I'll just say, but just connecting something I heard there to what we're talking about with clarity. And this guy was saying that he had talked to a business coach that said, you know, what if you pulling back gave you unlimited success. And he took that advice and it helped him. But it's just that idea that we over complicate everything and we know the steps that we need to take. You know, being successful in business, I mean, there's a lot of examples of things to do, but we just like mentally over complicate things and just sometimes pulling back and not trying to make ourselves feel important in everything we do by doing our thing instead of what we know is going to work just can really make things easier. Yeah, that's a good one.

So one of the best things that we learned between years of retail and having the real estate business is somebody told us one time, meet them on the beach. And when you rush the tide when it's coming in, it'll knock you down. You'll fight it to stay there. So if you wait until the tide comes up on the beach, you can walk into it. And so when you have people that are out of control or even yourself, just wait till the tide comes in and meet them on the beach. Well, it's proven you can't be in.

Your emotional brain and your solution brain at the same time. So if you can sit with someone, your kid comes home and says, I hate school. Nobody likes me. My teacher hates me. I'm horrible at what I do. They don't need you to say, what are you talking about? Tommy just invited you to the sleepover.

And no, no, no.

They need you to stay right there and say, wow, that must really hurt to feel like you don't have a friend in the world. It doesn't mean you agree with them. Right. But you allow them to get that all out and then when they're done, they're actually brighter than we give them credit for. Sometimes they come up with their own solution. We don't need to come up with a solution. We need to hear them. Yeah, yeah.

Or the reptilian brain. They're like, don't poke the lizard. Like when your child is in that space where, you know, they cannot, they don't want to get your perspective on anything. You just connect with them and then they already know they did something wrong or whatever.

So it's really cool.

Yeah.

But we can carry that over into the sales environment with our team and with our clients. And it's a secret weapon. Seriously. Yeah, it works really well.

So I think someone mentioned like a TED Talk, the five minute, the five second rule. There's another TED talk that is really interesting. It's called Life is Simple and it talks about how we will just complicate the heck out of life altogether. It really takes back everything and like pulls out a bunch of layers that we threw on ourselves and shows you the simplicity of how simple our lives really, really are. Like going back to the core as far as like where we confuse our needs for what our wants are. Because very, very easy to confuse, you know, all the things that you want and then say that those are things that you need to have in your life. So sometimes, whenever I'm feeling like a lot of anxiety, I'll go back to, to that video. It's a short video. I would encourage anybody to watch it. It's called Life is Simple and just interesting little story that's in there that a guy shares. I think it's amazing because, you know, we're the only ones, we're in complete control of our experience and everything. Right. Feeling anxiety, feeling pressured, feeling like you need to grow, feeling, you know, you know, all this, everything, every bad emotion that you can think of is usually self inflicted. You're in 100% control. And you know, sometimes you're not looking at how you're contributing to your own, your own feelings, your own anxiety. Sometimes you want to blame it on. It's because this is happening. It's because that's going on when the reality is that nothing is really going on. You're just telling yourself that that's so bad that you have to feel this way. So just let us share that.

All right, we are going to do a 30 minute break so you have a 30 minute networking break and then we're going to reconvene at 4 o'. Clock. Team leaders are in here, sales are in the room behind us. And don't forget to register for Nashville for our intensive to get a special gift rebsworkshop.com and also don't forget to visit our sponsors and do a social post rebslive to win prizes as well. What? Oh, and the snack bar, whatever you call that room. Right? I just need an office just for that. Yeah.

That's awesome. All right, thanks for listening to the Business Freedom Podcast. If you're getting value from the podcast, would you keep Please leave us a five star review and share it with others who might benefit from the content I'm sharing. And if you're ready to scale your real estate business sustainably and profitably, There are a couple options for you. If you're doing under $500,000 in annual GCI, our business foundations Program is for you. Head over to getbusinessfoundations.com that's getbusinessfoundations.com and learn how you can make the shift from overwhelmed real estate agent to true business owner. If you're doing more than 500,000 in annual Team GCI, there's our graduate program designed for top producers and team leaders who want to grow their team and scale their business. If that's you, go to realestatebeastchool.com and apply for a free business Growth strategy session. In your business growth journey. We have the tool, system, strategies, training and coaching to get you win where you want to be. Remember, only you can create your future, so take action now.