Personal Lessons Learned From Building & Leading a Real Estate Team

I find that most top producing real estate agents and team leaders, you know, there's this reluctance to really let someone into the struggles of building a business and maybe trying to be a good spouse or a good, you know, father or mother. And you know, on today's video, I'm going to bear it all in terms of the things I have failed at along my business growth journey. You know, it's easy to talk about the wins that we have in business and way harder, you know, to detail out like our failures in leadership or management or how we failed, as in this case, a husband or a father, you know, putting our business ahead of the things that matter most in our, in our journey, our ultimate journey and the reason that we're here. If you're at the point in your journey where you, you wish there was like this resource that you could just have in your hands to know the path to go from agent to owner and just have a little bit more, you know, contentment fulfillment through your real estate business, stick around. I'm going to let you know how to get a copy of my book Scale or Die. And if you like the video, give me a thumbs up, hit the like button. Subscribe to the channel and make sure you turn notifications on and, and as always, leave comments below. I have a firmly rooted belief that if we all could just bear our good, bad, ugly, you know, personally and professionally, it would make the journey for others that are trying to come up behind us a little easier. It's the approach that I've taken in real estate B school and even in my business in terms of breaking down. Like we're just, we're all human beings and we're showing up and trying to do great things and, and you know, how can we learn from each other's mistakes? And so that's what I want to cover in today's video. And I would say the first thing, you know, as I look back on my journey, it is putting the deal ahead of something more important, you know, a date night or a vacation. Oftentimes in real estate we don't create standards for ourselves. So the one thing I want most for you, and it doesn't matter where you are in your journey to set some standards around what you're willing to do and not willing to do for your real estate business, you know, it could be as simple as just time blocking your calendar, saying like, I'm willing to work Monday through Friday, 8:30 to 6:30 and appointment only on Saturday, only if it's from this time to this Time. And I'm going to take Sundays off. And maybe you have to negotiate with your spouse. Like, okay, Sundays, I need to check in for 30 minutes at 12:30 and another 30 minutes at 5:30, predetermined what that looks like. So you're not going to shortchange your family. That's the biggest thing I regret. In those early days, I was all in 100 miles per hour, and it was exhausting for my wife to keep up with it. And she was just constantly put second place, really, when it comes down to it, this business. I mean, my belief is that we're all here and it's temporary and there's this, you know, eternal game that we're playing. The reality, though, is that I'm not going to do real estate forever. I'm going to be married to this woman forever. She doesn't care if I sell another home. She doesn't care if we live in a nicer house or if we drive a nicer car. She just wants more of me. And the same thing is true for the people that love you. If you're busy in real estate and you let all of that drama consume you, chances are you are missing out on the really good stuff. And just take note of that. You know, where are you really missing out? And then if you need to sort of systematically create those moments where you're not going to miss out, put them in your calendar. Right? The things that matter to me most are in my calendar. So you could start there. I would say the second thing, when I think about the lessons I've learned in building a business, both, you know, personal lessons and professional lessons, is just to check your motives. You know, this is going to be a tough one for me to share. You know, when I was building my real estate business, I didn't know what I know now. I built it to be served rather than to serve generally. I'm not a guy that has many regrets. I see everything as a learning lesson, though. When I look back on some of those decisions I've made with how I treated team members or how I was always focused on the numbers and hitting our goals. And I know there was more than probably dozens of times where I could have slowed down and connected with a team member that was struggling in some area of their life, I wasn't attuned to it because I was so focused on achieving in the business and the same approach I took with sacrificing time with my wife or my children, I was just assuming that everybody wanted to do that. I've had some tough conversations with team members as they've left my world. These are, you know, six, seven years in my world, and they would tell me with tears that it never was enough. On the one hand, you want to be able to drive your folks and coach them to achieve more than they could on their own. On the other hand, you don't want to leave them feeling that this business is here to serve you. And I was just a pawn in the overall scheme. The moral of the story and the happy ending is that I have figured it out and I have learned from those tough lessons, and I wouldn't wish those lessons on anyone. And those tough conversations and those strained relationships that, you know, I had to work hard to salvage those relationships and turn them back into something that was a mutually satisfying relationship, even if we weren't technically in business together. Third is this focus on, you know, personal putting up this front, like just this. This man of steel superhuman force, which we think we have to show up in our businesses that way. The reality of it is, if you can break down, you know, and be more authentic with folks around you, with your clients, with your family, with your team members, the world is lacking in authenticity. If you've read anything from Brene Brown, you know, it is to lead with your authentic self. And I, year after year, I put up this bravado and this hard exterior where it's just about the numbers and achieving and going on appointments and knocking, you know, commission checks down and getting to the goal. I was just very consistent and clear on where we needed to be. And along the way, I didn't really let people in on the fact that I had never done the thing I was doing. You know, even this video, getting good at video. I've never done this before. So I'm learning as I'm doing this. When I was building a team, I had never managed somebody before. Nobody taught me how to manage people properly. Nobody taught me how to be a good leader. Nobody taught me how to be, you know, have a difficult conversation with somebody. And so I feel like if I could have just acknowledged that fact with the team, and now I openly say, hey, guys, I've never done this before. And I have a feeling that we could have gone further than faster if I only let people into what was going on in my world. And so just check yourself on those few things, you know, if you're really looking to, you know, do this without the pain that I experienced along the way and those painful lessons with my family and my team members and, you know, just check your heart, you know your motives, your authenticity, and, you know, why are you building this thing? What, what are you trying to accomplish with building a business? If you're at the point in your journey where you just wish there was a guide, you know, something that you could hold in your hands and page through, There is. I wrote a book not only about my journey and some of the failures that I went through, but our most successful members and what their journeys look like. You know, I lay out the step by step process, the drivers, accelerators, tools and systems, the things you will need to know to go from agent to owner and it's ScaleOrDieBook.com or click on the link below to get your copy today. If you like the video, please hit the like button. Subscribe to the channel. Turn notifications on so you'll be the first to know when a new video drops. And as always, comment so we can have a dialogue back and forth. And appreciate you showing up today. We'll see you on the next video. Sam.