Healing Your Inner Child: Pathways To Emotional Healing And Growth

Evening, Leilah. Hello, hello, evening everyone. Thank you for joining us this evening. I'm really looking forward to this. I saw Leilah— Hattie, who runs the Positive Living Group in, I think, Lyon Solent— she had Leilah speaking through Zoom the other day, but she actually does live Positive Living group as well with speakers, because I'm going to be a speaker there on the 9th of February for Ho'oponopono. But, um, but yeah, so I met Leilah through that, which was a marvelous evening. And so I said, would you like to come and join our group for, for a talk? And thankfully she's agreed, even though she's really busy. So thank you, Leilah.

Thank you so much. You're so welcome. It's such a joy to spread love with everybody.

Oh yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to just do this quick introduction, a little bit of what we know about Leilah, uh, and what she'll be talking about tonight— how to heal your inner child, which I absolutely love anything about the inner child, and use our intuition. Leilah Mirza, holistic therapist and inner child healer who has worked with international clients and entrepreneurs helping them enrich their lives and expand their businesses. Oh my God, sorry, the microphone was facing the wrong way. Um, she traveled— she has traveled and taught in Sydney, Australia, and worked with people all across the world. Leilah's extensive experience has given her a wealth of knowledge and sharpened her highly intuitive abilities. Her native qualities along with her experience she has gathered in her career has had a meaningful impact on numerous people that were stuck in seemingly final situations. Leilah's strong empathic connection and her clairvoyant qualities facilitates and provides her clients to bring forward high-frequency information, detangling their past and shed light for a clear luminous future. So that sounds absolutely wonderful, and I've made a few notes about the inner child if we do talk much about the inner child. But yeah, thank you so much, and we're really looking forward to this.

Thank you so much, it's, it's a pleasure. But I feel like it's a pleasure more to really help people and educate people— not necessarily educate, but ensure that people really understand how important it is for us to really understand our inner child. It's a word that becomes used so frequently lately in almost every therapy setting, and we all have an inner child. Some of us may have an inner child that we deny, and some of us may have an inner child that we accept. So I am, I'm here for you to speak to me and to ask me as much questions in a moment about the inner child and and I feel like this is most of my expertise. I have certifications in clinical hypnotherapy, in counseling, and Reiki. So I was, I was born in Cape Town— my accent, as you can all hear, and you can probably see I've got a little funky features— South Africa in the 1980s. So yes, I am only 36, but being born as an empath, life can never prepare you. So you you're older for your years on a soul level. So growing up from a very young age, I was very empathic, and I'm sure some of you may resonate. And being empathic may seem as the biggest curse but also the greatest blessing. But as a child, it is the biggest curse because everything— you feel so much, you understand so much. And that, of course, has made me quite intuitive. So I'm very good at— I call it my party trick. To read someone and tell them what are they thinking, what's going on, because it's made me become very, very intuitive. I was born like this as well, but going through trauma as a child, um, abuse, um, on different levels, it has— what has done, it has heightened my receptors. So tonight I'm going to explain to you what happens with the inner child and how your beliefs around money becomes formed, your beliefs around relationships, your beliefs around your limitations in life. Perhaps you feel stuck in life, perhaps you feel that you are— you see yourself growing bigger, but no matter what, you can't up your level. Or you may see yourself always thriving in life, but no matter how much you thrive, you, you're not moving anywhere. Maybe you had a vision of seeing yourself become rich or live in a house but no matter what happens, you keep playing small in life. So all of these are just a block, they are just onions of beliefs. So I have these like on my table when I, when I work with my clients. I tell them every session we're going through an onion and another onion, and all of these onions are basically core beliefs that we form as a child. Now if we have and impact of these beliefs, they can really become the narrator of our life. So your subconscious beliefs, the way you see the world, is actually your narrative of your story. So if you have a belief that in life, um, something bad must happen before something good happens, that's a belief that somewhere in your life You may have picked that up. Now, our inner child is run by subconscious. Our subconscious mind takes over most of our consciousness and unconscious behavior. That's where all our beliefs are actually formed, in our subconscious. So I just want to explain to you how this happens and what works. So I've got some drawings, but try not to pay attention to my drawings because I'm not the best artist, okay? So this is an example of a mother. I did say don't pay attention to my drawings, okay? This is a mother and this is carrying a baby. Now, if the mother goes through an experience, let's say this child is coming and this child has ADHD, one example, which is a clinical term. Do I believe in ADHD? Not really. Do I believe in trauma? Yes, I do. But I'm going to explain to you how these labels that the clinicians use really has an impact of the environment that they were born into. So this is a child, and this is the mother, the pregnant mother. Now let's say, for example, this mother has gone through domestic violence or trauma. Everything around this mother is her cellular energy. Now, we may go through an experience of a trauma, we may forget, or we may have the ability to disconnect. So when the brain goes through trauma, the brain finds ways to disconnect, okay? Because your brain, it's programmed for survival. Your brain is programmed for survival. This is a very crucial word I want you to remember, because if you're a person living your life in survival, this is not your destiny. Your destiny is not for decrease and survival. Your destiny is for increase and expansion. You are built for increase and expansion, and I'm pretty sure you know that already. I'm pretty sure, Maggie, you can feel that. I'm pretty sure you're people who can really resonate with that. Katherine, Sue. So your brain is all programmed to expand. So when you buy a house, you don't buy a house small enough just for you to fit in and sleep. You buy a house big enough so you can expand, put furniture in there and grow. So when you dream, you don't dream small just for you to accomplish from A to B. You dream big because you need to fit into the dream. You need to make things fit into your dream, right? So I don't want to go off track because I have a tendency to do that. Anyway, so we are all programmed By the way we are born, this is called mother wound. This is called mother trauma, maternal wound, mother wound, father wound. Now, if any of you have a mother wound or father wound, it will show up in very common areas of your life, which is your beliefs. So mommy is carrying a baby. Now, I will say mommy is called Cindy and the baby is called Nicola. This is a girl baby. Now, the mother is going through quite an abusive relationship, which makes her feel quite anxious. So her body is constantly in fight, flight, and freeze. So this is a cellular energy. So everything around you, as Gregg Braden says, is a cellular energy. So when we go through any form of stress, our brain goes into fight and flight. And remember, our brain is designed to work in constant survival. This is why you wake up in the morning, you put on the news, you, you listen to drama, because your brain needs that to thrive. For some reason, your brain is built like this. It's animal instinct. So the little baby, all the stress that's going through the mother gets held in her body, which forms part of a cellular memory. Remember, your brain forgets but your body doesn't. This is why disease has an impact in your life later. This is why you may get mental health conditions later, and this could be because of stress that you've gone through as a child. Okay, so now the baby is born, and this baby is a hyperactive child, and this baby can't settle. This baby's crying, baby's got colic. There's a lot of stress around the baby. What I usually ask the mother is, "What happened in your pregnancy? Did you feel safe? Did you feel like you've had a sense of belonging, a sense of peace, a sense of trust?" Because all of this cellular information gets transmuted into the placenta of the unborn baby. So, remember, animals have an ability to shake off stress. Humans don't have that ability. So with us humans, we remember, our body remembers. So we have adrenals in our lower abdomen where we would say is our base chakra. Now, our base chakra is responsible for fight and flight. Our base chakra, the demon of the base chakra is fear. So anything that triggers you, anything that arouses you, that is all base chakra stuff, that is fear. So our base chakra produces the hormone cortisol, which is a stress hormone. So that's what triggers. Now, I don't know if any of you have a background in counseling or psychology or therapy. So our brain has 3 stress responses: 1, 2, 3. The first one is positive stress. The second one is passive And the third one is toxic stress. Now, the difference is with two twins that's been separated at birth, one is thriving in life, successful, and in living in abundance. The other twin who was separated at birth goes and has an alcoholic who's an alcoholic. He's, um, his processes are different, his receptors are different, um, he's not as abundant, he lives in his means, he lives in Bible. Let's look at the differences with these children. The happy child lived in a very positive environment growing up. Positive meaning being safe. The mother always came, you're safe, you are loved, I love you as who you are, you're perfect, it's okay to be angry, your voice is heard, you are part of this family, you are special, you are loved. Then that is positive. Positive stress can happen when we lose our car or we lose our keys, and I'm looking for my keys and I'm going to work, and all of a sudden I go into stress mode. That's positive stress. But when we go through passive stress is when we're living in an environment that takes us up, and then we stay there, and we have to go down again, and up and down. So, what happens, we are allowing our emotions to regulate. So we know how to go up, and then we know how to process our emotions. We know how to regulate our emotions. Now, if you have a client who's gone through toxic stress— toxic stress is when someone's been raped, abused, living in violence, father perhaps going to jail, perhaps her mother has left or abandoned her— that is toxic stress. And that means basically the emotions are going up and it's not being regulated. So, their body is stuck in cortisol. So, stress becomes a safe hormone. So, when I'm working with a woman perhaps and we look at her inner child and we do a program around her inner child, I'll usually ask her, "Do you create stress in your life to function? Do you create, perhaps not consciously, unconsciously, to you create some form of drama in your life, always looking for something to go wrong. These are all signs that you have a trauma in your inner child. So that is toxic stress. So toxic stress, you may not know how to regulate your emotions back because you've never been taught what is safety, what is it to go, it's okay, it's happened, regulate, you're now safe, you're loved. That's emotional regulation. So emotional intelligence It's really a big part of our DNA. But with our generations, they never had the emotional capacity to know how to give us the love and how to give us the attention. So for an example, I'm quite happy to use myself. I was born in Cape Town. My father was a little bit of an alcoholic, maybe not excessively, and he used to beat my mother. Like every weekend. So every weekend I'll prepare myself mentally, he's going to come in, and I pray to God, please God, if he comes home, don't make him hit my mother. So that for me was quite toxic stress. And I never had the fundamentals, I never had a therapist or a coach growing up to help me. So I never knew that it's safe to speak, it's safe to be in my power. I was always people pleasing. Codependency forms. And these behaviors we pick up, we bring into our adulthood. But now we have therapists and coaches who are able to help us to access that, to unleash that, and to empower us. But as a child, your brain forms beliefs, and these beliefs is what you take into adulthood. Now I want you to remember You are all built for increase and expansion. You are built for whatever your vision is to become of yourself, you are. And I can see there are women over here who are dynamic, you've got strong characters. I can read the colors, we have 4 personality colors. We have blue, green, yellow, and red. So I can understand your personality color. So we all have the— I can see your capacities, your strengths, and your weaknesses. But don't allow your, your story of your childhood to become the book that hasn't even been opened, so your future book of your future self. And that's where I'm here to guide you and to show you how these beliefs has an impact on us. So I gave you a little bit of an idea of how your beliefs has an impact of you, on you, So I want you to envision for a moment your whole life. So think of your whole life, think of everything you have around you, think of your, your limits, your beliefs. Then I want you to, if you can, when you can, I want you to draw a column, right? So make a column, write father and mother in your column. It's a little bit of an exercise. So I want you to write your father and your mother. Now I want you to write down And this is uncomfortable, and I want to tell you that you are loved in their version of what love means. You may not understand their love, but you are loved. Okay, I know this is uncomfortable, but I want you to write down all the negative aspects of your mother and your father. Then I want you to take a look at those aspects and see how they resonate with you. For example, My father, he was an alcoholic, which made him quite abusive. I am a mixed South African female, so I have Dutch, I have Black ancestors in my blood. My great-grandparents is Black and my grandma was Chinese. So I've got a lot of heritage going on. So a lot of beliefs in that. So my father was controlling. He was a bit abusive. He was jealous. And the list can go on. If I really want to nitpick on my daddy, and he's gone now, he passed away. And then if I look at my mother, my mother was codependent, she was OCD, you know, so that was all her negative traits. Then when I became a young woman, when I had my first relationship, who was my ex-husband, his negative tendencies was what my brain read as love. So all those negative energies that you're picking up from your parents, you may have not witnessed, it somehow become safe behavior because your brain is getting programmed between those ages of 0 to 14, and your brain starts working out what is safe and what's not safe. So you then act from your subconscious. So if you look at, like, the mountain, if you look at a mountain If you— I don't know if anyone has seen Table Mountain, or if you look at an iceberg, the Titanic. So on the very top of that iceberg, you have the consciousness. Now, your consciousness, you only use up to 4%. Then you have the subconsciousness. The subconscious behavior is your learned behavior. So 90% of of your behavior is learnt behavior. Because remember, you are not here to live life in survival. You are not, Mary. You are not here to live life just thinking, I have to be indoors and this is going to be in my life. You are not. You are programmed to live life to the best capacity you can, but you have some form of behavior— not you specifically, Mary, not you— but some of you may have some beliefs here that's going on that's going, this is normal. So when I do something which is called Theatre Healing on my clients, when I'm working with them on a program, I tap into a belief using theatre. So I ask them, what would be the worst if this was to happen? How does this make you feel? Take me back to a time you felt this emotion. So a very common belief a lot of people tell me is, "I'm not in abundance. I only earn £300 or £600 a month," for example. Somehow, that money becomes safe. Now, no one wants to earn less money, but there's a belief that keeps your money on tap. You may even say I have an upper limit problem, which means that in life you can only earn so much. Because the moment your tap goes more increase, you shut down because your body's going, I can't cope. Maybe because you may have think you have a self-worth issue. Maybe you don't feel safe to hold that because of what you witnessed or what your perception is. But these things can play in all aspects in our life. These things can really program us for tomorrow. Remember, we have something that is called this brain, and you may, you may see now that you may have a friend who doesn't have all your skills, but somehow in her life she's thriving because her childhood may have had a different story to yours. So I had a client in Australia last week who told me She said, Leilah, I had an interview and I felt that I was excellent and I was really deserving of the job, but someone else got the job. And I said to her, are you afraid of standing in your power? What will happen? What is the worst thing that will happen if you step in your power? And then she said, well, I won't be liked. And then I said, and what will that make you? I said, a failure. She said, "A failure." And I said, "And when was the earliest memory of being a failure?" She said, "When I told my father that I wasn't earning my C or my D," whatever percentage she said in that term. And I asked her, "How did you feel?" She said, "I felt like I failed him." So all those beliefs can be tapped back to our childhood, and this is why the programming of our beliefs are so important. So I just want you to sit with that for a moment, and I just want you to feel into that and, and just reflect on a moment. And if you have any questions for me, please ask me because I don't want to bombard you with information.

With the start that you had in life then, Leilah, how have you overcome it so young?

Oh yeah, it was horrible. I think I probably had— I would feel the worst things. I have a history of sexual abuse. My father died when I was 9 in a car accident. And then my mother went into relationship after relationship. And in every relationship she ended up in, getting a hiding, being the battered housewife became very safe for her. So she would go into every relationship being the battered housewife. Well, one night I actually heard her go, "Hit me if you want to. Hit me if you want to. I'm here. I'm waiting." And the man is like, Why would I hit you? So I was so in fight and flight that I had— I have a photo actually. I was 18 and I was bulimic, so I had eating disorders. So I disconnected from emotions. But being an empath, I think you have a choice in life. You have a choice and you have a chance and you can make the change. And this is what I tell my clients every day. Remember the 3 C's. Whenever you wake up in the morning, write down choice, chance, and change. Because you can make these choices to, to make the changes, but you're going to need to take the chance.

Gosh, that's quite amazing, really. So how did you, being an intuitive, uh, really in tune with how you are. How did that matter? How did you feel then if your mum was being treated like that? Did you feel helpless?

I felt helpless. I felt power— powerless. So those are very big questions because those are exactly the questions I ask my clients. I felt helpless. I felt powerless. I— because I loved my father very much, and in fact I was Daddy's little girl, so I had a very distorted view of what love is. My father was nowhere like my partner today. No way. My father was an alpha male. He was a big African man, and he was a man that if my food is not on the table, you will get a hiding tonight. You know, he was a very big alpha male. Like, I'm the woman my father would not have married because I am in my power and I'm safe, you know. So it was very, very hard. It was very hard. And I was in no way the way I was. I was an underachiever at school. School. I skipped classes because I was so stressed out. I would have to go to school at 8 in the morning when at 5 at night I was hearing my dad hit my mom, right? So remember, my fear, my receptors, my fight and flight receptors are heightened. Now, if your fight and flight receptors are constantly heightened, that means your psychic abilities becomes heightened. So there's a difference with a psychic and someone who channels, because a psychic is reading out of their perception, not necessarily true information. So if you're ever into going to see a psychic, which I don't really go, I can see into things, but it's a choice. So if you go see a psychic, sometimes a psychic would tell, like a client, a psychic told one of my clients, that she needed to lose weight. So that psychic was coming from a judgmental perspective. So she was reading her own, her own drama. So basically what happens when you go through trauma, your receptors become heightened. So anything can create a trauma. Primary trauma is when something's happening to you directly, or secondary trauma. So secondary trauma is when you're witnessing, like I, I was constantly witnessing abuse. I witnessed rape on a train in South Africa, and I was very little, and I felt helpless.

This—

I was born in Cape Town. The government, it's not very good. Anyway, so my receptors were constantly heightened, which means if you scream, Leilah, I would jump and I'll be away. I was constantly alert. So if something happens, I'm constantly alert. So this is what happens when people become or are psychic. It just means that some of their senses are heightened, and the ability to read people, it's pretty good. But what makes a psychic good, it's— is she coming from a place of judgment of what she's seeing, or she coming from a place of love? Because if a psychic is coming from a place of love and compassion, they're coming from a higher vibration, they're connecting to Source. So this is why you might get friends who are quite narcissistic, but they're very intuitive, right? Because they're able to read people because they're coming from some form of trauma. NPD, narcissistic personality disorder, is a trauma-based function. It's a survival function, you know. It's the need to control because of the— of their childhood, of having a critical parent attacking them. So that can create the NPD in people. But this could make a person very intuitive. So someone could be reading but coming from a judgmental perspective. So this is why I tell people, be very careful when you work with a healer and make sure that the healer has fixed their problems. But obviously you won't know someone has fixed their problems. You will just work with someone and you will know they're coming from a place of compassion or love and they have healthy boundaries, and that takes time. I'm, I'm, I'm 37 almost, and I was— I went through that trauma at the age of 5. I went through counseling. I went through counseling at the age of 13 when my dad died. I had a panic attack, and then I went through counseling. But then when I became 18, when I was— when I turned 18, I was sent abroad, and I worked, and I traveled, and I, um, I was— I'm quite well traveled, and this is why I was working in Australia on Psychic TV. So then I was traveling and I was doing healing and then I did studying, but in that time I was working for a financial institution. So I worked for Santander and HSBC, and then I decided this was not actually what I want to do. I wanted to help people to elevate, to show them that they are more in control and they're more empowered than they think they are, that their trauma doesn't control their life, that they are the captain of the soul. They're the captain of their own ship. God, that's amazing.

And is your mum still with us?

Yeah, she is. And now she's living on the beach in Australia.

Really?

My mom is a powerful manifester, honestly. She used to cry and she used to look out the window and she used to live in survival. Because it was all about like survival. But you know, when she died, when my dad died, it may have been a bit of relief to her. Can you imagine? But then when he died and she turned her life around and she left South Africa and she moved to Australia, she really started changing. And I was the first healer in the family. So from a very young age, my mom told me, you're a healer, because she had a period and I could lay my hands on her and she would heal. So she told me, you know, from a young age I was a healer, and actually through me the whole family line has gone through a healing transformation.

Gosh, how inspiring! So how do you connect to your inner child if you are disassociated from it? Vivian's asking.

So Vivian, um, you are not actually disassociated to your inner child, but you're creating this connection because this connection is safe for you. So it's not really, Vivian, that you are— because your inner child is part of you. The thing is, your chronological age and your biological age may not be integrated with your inner child. Your inner child may have gone through a lot of trauma that you're not really ready to, like, to, to integrate, to heal. So what happens, the brain finds resources to disconnect. So you have two parts of the brain. You have the logic and the creative part. So you use the logical part of the brain to disconnect from the creative part, which is the emotional part. So if you look at the sacral chakra, your sacral is the house of the emotion. The sacral is the house, house of creativity. So when you go through everything that arises your emotions that it becomes really heavy and hard, you use the logic part of your brain. So if you look at people very logical and grounded, they're very disconnected with the emotional stuff, emotional stuff. They're very disconnected. It takes a very balanced person to be in harmony with logic and emotional. That makes a highly, highly intelligent person. But you can always connect with your inner child. Your brain may have suppressed memories as a coping mechanism for you to deal with stress. If that makes— if you can understand that.

Do you want to say anything, Vivian?

You happy with that?

Or you can put in the chat box if you need anything else. Catherine's saying, can you explain poverty consciousness attitude, i.e., not charging appropriately?

Catherine, I love that question. I love the question. It's a good question. It's a good question. And there are so many healers that are doing this, and I feel that you are here. You're a healer, Catherine.

Yes, she is.

You're a good healer, Catherine. You're a good healer. But I think your problem is you— your worth, your self-worth comes in the way. And I feel like you have a tendency, Catherine, to have imposter syndrome. But this is a very, very good question because I did this, and if I did this, you can do it. So I went from charging £75 an hour to running programs from £750 to £3,000. So yeah, it feels big.

It feels big.

And it's very scary, Katherine. It's very scary. But do you want to live your life like this? Or do you have a vision for your business? Do you see your business thriving? Do you see your business growing? And if you see your business growing, why would you undercharge your time for your worth? So, there's a belief that you have. There's a belief that you have. Now, if you are, if you are actually struggling around this belief, it will look like this. Money comes and it falls through your hands. So, you may get £1,000 a week and before you know it, that £1,000 will be gone because if you're running a poverty consciousness energy, you find ways to spend that money where you're not seeing that money. So that's a belief issue that you have. So invest in yourself around this. Look at that and invest in yourself because you may need to reprogram this. Now I can say Hampshire is very strong in poverty consciousness because my clients are not really from Hampshire, they're from Australia and abroad. But if you see yourself and you know that you're undercharging, that's because you're running the belief. And your belief is perhaps, was I killed for being a healer in another life? Maybe running some past life beliefs. And I really feel that when I look at you, Catherine, I feel like you were almost, um, you were a matriarch in the matriarchal system in the past life. So I feel like you were almost a leader in another life. I got this this, um, this priestess energy about you in another life. And I feel like you were busy with oils and you were very medicinal in another life. So I feel like herbs and oils, and you're doing things to help people heal. And I feel like you, um, you are hung for this. I feel like there was energy around your neck and you were hung. And I feel like this is something that's come as a block. That's one thing that I'm feeling that's blocking you. So you're running a past life energy of if I if I could see into what I'm doing, I would not be hapskidilak or be killed. But this is an unconscious energy that you're running. But I also feel like there's another— there's other stuff that's going on there. I feel like somehow there's a disconnection from you and your father. So I feel like there's some, some self-worth issues, that not feeling worthy of love, not feeling worthy to succeed. I feel like this plays a very big role in your charging. But I really feel like there's another thing I've been told as well. It's an invisibility block. I feel like you make this almost like people are not seeing you, because I can see you, but only when I'm paying attention to you. But there's something about the energy, there's a slight invisibility block. So you might want to, if you can, if you, if you can do muscle testing, ask, am I, am I running an invisibility block? And see, because sometimes the invisibility Invisibility block keeps you safe. It keeps you safe, but it also puts a— puts on how much you are earning. And sometimes you have to ask yourself, how much do you see yourself earning? Where do you see yourself going? Now, when I'm working with entrepreneurs and healers, I ask them, do you have a business plan? And if they say yes, then I'll ask them another question is, do you have a life plan? Now Lots of people think you can only have a business plan, but a business plan doesn't work if you don't have a life plan. Because how are you able to step into your future self, your future avatar, if you don't even know your life plan? So I hope that, um, I hope that answers.

It really does. And if I can just say that I'm trying to do my website, redo my website at the moment.

I'm absolutely struggling with it because it's putting myself out there.

And it's, will I look silly or whatever? So all of that comes into it. And although I, you know, like Jackie say, people think I'm a good healer, but I don't, I don't, I feel like I'm keeping the lid on it like this, you know, let's keep it all in. So that's how, and somebody did say years ago on a regression I had been, been hung, and that was partly why I can't express my, uh, authentic truth, I think.

So very interesting, spot on.

Thank you.

You're very welcome. I would love for you to stand out. I would love for you to go, like, to go big. And I would feel— I feel, and I'm getting goosebumps right now— I feel like your market is in London. I don't feel like they're ready for you over here, but I feel like your energy is in London, Surrey side. But you really must break through that. And even if you can one day do invest in a coach, because when you change your energy, it changes everything. And even I had a coach. So I'm like, I went— I started at £45 an hour, then I went to £75, and I was making it fine. I was getting the clients, but I was working constantly, and that was not life to me. I wanted to spend time with my family. I like to travel, you know. So there's nothing wrong with charging your worth. There's a lot of the that people have around money. Some people think money is greed, it comes from the ego, but yet people need the money. So check that beliefs that you have, and if you can, get yourself a journal.

Yes, I've got a journal.

Journal on that belief that what will happen if I make my website big? Why can't I? So there's something there, and I see that's an invisibility block that I felt with you. I felt that you were hiding a little bit, that people are not going to see you.

Yes. Thank you so much, Leilah. That's brilliant.

Thank you. You're very welcome. You're very welcome.

We've got another question.

Thanks for that, Catherine, because everyone, you know, a lot could resonate with that, as you know.

Um, oh, how do we— Vivian's saying, how do we reprogram ourselves? And then we've got one from Catherine our cells as well.

How do we reprogram ourselves?

It's ourselves.

Yeah, ourselves.

Yeah, C-E-L-L-S. Yeah, yeah, your cells.

Yes, you can reprogram yourselves, and there's loads of self-help books around that. Also, if you look at theater healing— theater healing is a very— like, I, I love theater healing. I teach theater healing, and I do theater healing. But remember, I don't do, um, I don't, I don't work clients as a one obsession because people who come for one obsession, quick fix, and your healing, that's like an insult because your healing, it's a journey, you know. It's a journey. It's something that you have to invest in. Like every, everyone needs to invest in their mental health, you know. Otherwise this facade, it means nothing. The image looks like nothing if you don't invest there. So invest in your healing. Reprogram yourself by affirmations. Now I know this sounds like complete déjà vu, and it's so like everyone speaks about it, this cliché, it's just self-talk. But self-talk is powerful because if you notice, when you do body work, when I work with the inner child and the shadow, and I ask my client to look at themselves in the mirror for 5 minutes naked, right? That's the thought that we're speaking. So if you guys were to go out in a breakout room. If Jackie had the ability, for example, to put you all in a breakout room with each other, then tell the person who you're in the breakout room with what are the negative things that you don't like about yourself. Tell it to them. So if you won't say that to someone else, you wouldn't say that to you. So why would you say that to yourself? Because you are the biggest, you're the biggest criticism in your life. You, you have the ability to criticize or empower your life, and it all starts with what you're feeding your brain with. For me, I, I drink peppermint tea, I journal, I take care of my mental health, I affirm every day when I look in the mirror. I lay in bed before I wake up and I use my affirmations. There are great books. Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about the reprogramming of your beliefs, meditation. All these things can help contribute to this. Now I can really vouch for this, I honestly can. If you can really take this part serious, I was abused on many levels as a child. I was, I have scars of self-harm as a child. I used to burn myself, hurt myself, right? And I really didn't look like this when I was 18, because when you start healing, your face starts to heal, your energy starts to heal. If you look at someone who is on addictions, if you look at people who's heroin addicts, alcoholics, people who are struggling in life, they age. Stress ages you. But when you start working with yourself and your energy, you have cold showers, you start changing, you drink better, you start looking after yourself a a lot better, then you start going through the physical transition too. I mean, I take collagen tablets, I'm not gonna lie, I take supplements, but at the same time I do meditate every day, I do my self-healing work on myself, and I do journal. And these things, they work, they work towards your growth, they work towards your healing. You can change your cells because cells are DNA, and DNA is information provided to your cell growth. So if you look at Theta Healing, if you look at the book, Vianna Stierbell, she healed herself through Theta Healing. So that's going up through your beliefs, through your thoughts, because if you look at the cellular memory, that is the beliefs that we are learning that creates DNA. And you can Google this in a moment, because when I explained this to my partner, his very, you know, science-based, he looked at me like, "What? Your cells changes your DNA?" And I'm like, "Yes, your beliefs creates new DNA." Because when you learn something, that creates new DNA strands. This is why people who do all these DNA facial, cellular facials, they really go through transitions. Healing heals you physically and emotionally.

Wonderful, thank you, Leilah Mirza. Catherine's saying, can we do anything to heal the damage to our children that we have inflicted before we knew better? Oh, what a lovely question.

I think, Catherine, this is a question that I get asked by a lot of, a lot of people. Catherine, Catherine, I can see you, right? And I feel that you're very hard on yourself, Catherine. I feel that you criticize yourself a lot. Your self-language to yourself can be very harsh. You are— I feel like this comes from your mother, the energy of your mother. Now, I feel like she was a very kind of strong woman, and she was very like— there's a teacher energy about it, you know. There was this thing that was very assertive about her, and I feel like you can be very tough on yourself. I feel like your children actually love you very much, but this, this could communication where everyone's a little bit shy and find it very difficult to express themselves in that way. But I feel like you are a very good mother, you are very good, you help your children for their own better. But I feel like you spend time perhaps criticizing yourself a little more. I feel like you need to nourish yourself a bit more. But in regarding to your question that you asked, you can heal by, by being aware By explaining to your children, it's never too late, it's never too late. For example, there's a lady in Australia, her daughter is 15, so there's a big mother wound energy going and big transference because her daughter is becoming herself the way she was when she was little. So I told the mother, it's never too late to give your child love, it's never too late to tell a person that they are loved and they are safe, because humans, they need connection. No matter how old they are, they need connection. They need— they're thirsty for love. Everyone's thirsty for love. We're built for connection. So if we look at Maslow's hierarchy, which is the pyramid need of safety, connection, and love, and trust, and a sense of belonging, no matter how old you get— now, even the older you get, the more childlike you become. So if you look at very old people, like in the late 80s, 90s, they actually crave that pyramid need of love, belonging, the sense of trust. It's never too late to give that to your children. But remember, Katherine, remember, there's something that's called the Five Languages of Love. Now, I don't know if you've read the book, The Five Languages of Love, but you should read the book because if you're one of those women who don't understand your partner after years of being married, Jackie, you might not understand your partner. Take the Five Languages of Love quiz because my partner, he's acts of service. So he doesn't come to me and tell me, "Oh, let me kiss you and tell you how much I love you and how beautiful you are." He doesn't do that, trust me. But he will come to me and tell me, "Can I make you tea? Can I set the room up for you?" 'Can I cook dinner tonight?' That's his language of love. That's called acts of love. And I always ask my, my clients to do this so I know how I can love them in these sessions, so I know what voice to be for them and how they understand that. So a very good question, Catherine. Understand your love language and understand your children's. And remember, it's It's all about perception, because really there's no right and wrong in life. It's reform our perception of how things are meant to be.

Wonderful answers. Thank you, Leilah Mirza.

That's okay, that's okay. And I've spoken quite a lot tonight.

Yeah, but we— yeah, everything thinks worth listening to, luckily.

Wow.

So I don't know if there's any more questions. There's none, no more there for me to read out. Um, is there anything else that you wanted to share with us? Obviously I've got more about inner child, not questions as such. Um, yeah, inner child healing, the importance because of feeling rejected, insecure, thoughts about self-esteem, emotions, wounds, trauma, shame, and that, all of that. But you've covered such a lot anyway. That's really— but if you don't heal that, then you do get those, you know, alcoholism, workaholism, or, you know, isms. That, yeah.

Do you think They find ways to creep in your life. Your unhealed beliefs, they find ways to creep in your life. So look in your life, look at your life and see where you're thriving. Look at your life and see where you're not thriving. Look at your life to see where you can be thriving. And look at where you are excellent in thriving, because perhaps you may be hiding from a place where you're excellent at thriving. And see if perhaps you're workaholic, what are you hiding from because you are thriving in that area. So look at all areas of your life and see where you are in your life and see where you're thriving and where you're not thriving. And take where you're not thriving and check what is the belief about not thriving. So is anyone on here, um, have a question about where they are not thriving? Do you want me to scan your energy and I can help you to uncover what your belief is about not thriving? You can, you can type it in the box. But Sue has sent a message.

She has, yeah. What about if you have no love in your life and find yourself isolated?

Sue, I kind of wonder if this is something that you may be creating for protection, isolation. Because I feel like even so that you're very open and you're very willing to receive love, I feel like there's something about love that doesn't feel safe for you to be in. Now, I don't know if someone has disappointed you, but I feel there's a bit of grief in your heart. So I feel like there's some grief in your heart over there, um, but I So I'm just going to connect to Sue again. Yeah, I'm just going to connect to Sue. So I feel like there's something that you're hiding from Sue. So if you were to come to me and tell me I'm struggling with love, I would really ask you to envision what your ideal love looks like to you. Write down exactly what your ideal love looks like to you. Then I would like to ask you a question: what would happen? What is the worst thing that would happen, Sue, if this love came into your life? Will you lose yourself and be hurt again? Because I feel like there's some form of protection that you are running, and isolation. Because the world doesn't isolate you, you may isolate yourself. Does that make sense, Sue? Because I'm looking at— I'm looking at Sue on my— but I'm not sure if there's another Sue.

There's two Sues on here tonight, and one's not got her camera on, and that's the one that's asking the question.

All right, okay. Yeah, so Sue, does, um, does that make sense? So I feel like the isolation, it's a defense, a protection, because something is happening. I feel like there's a bit of grief that's going on there. I mean, and this is not even me seeing you, this is me just connecting with your energy and feeling your heart. I do feel like there's some disappointment and some grief they. So I would like to know, because that ideal man is there. Remember, we have trillions and billions of people. There's trillions of people to love you, there's billions of people to be there, there's success everywhere. You can be abundant in any part of your life. You really can. You can. But there's something that we are creating that stops us, which is the bridge, because we have a distorted belief in our subconscious that if we go for that and we hack into that energy, something may happen. Now, there's another reason why people don't heal. Sometimes people hold on to something that is called secondary gains. Secondary gains is an unconscious program that we may have running. Now, if you work with a healer, not all healers, know about this, but if you have a healer, you could be asking your healer, do I have a gain? Do I— am I running a secondary gain? Which means, how is this serving me? Because you may have a belief that the reason why you can't keep up this belief, perhaps you're creating the energy of I need to be alone, even though you don't want it. Even so you don't want it, you don't want to be single, but you may be running a belief that if I'm single, I will be safe. And this is called secondary gains.

That makes absolute sense.

Now, this could happen as well, um, Jackie, in terms of business, um, like Katherine was saying. So Katherine may see his— I'm not saying, Katherine, you're running a secondary gains there, but Catherine may see herself really thriving. She done all the education, she's working on her website, she's investing, doing everything, but somehow her business isn't booming. So when people come to and people tell me, but my business isn't booming or my house isn't selling, then we look at what is the gain? You are gaining something from playing small, and that's called the secondary gains. So going back to Sue, I feel like you may be right running secondary games. I'm pretty, I'm pretty adamant you are. And it's not because you're doing this consciously, because of course you're not. Everybody wants love, everybody wants to be loved. It's not because you're doing this consciously, it's because it's keeping you safe. There's a trauma there, there's a scar there that you are protecting yourself from. Um, did you want me to read these questions, Jackie?

Well, there is quite a few now, isn't there? Yeah. Are you happy too, or do you want me to read them?

Um, yeah, sure. I can, um, quickly go—

go.

Yeah, I'm very fast when it comes to life.

Okay, lovely.

Yeah. So when we've recognized the trauma and the healthy patterns and beliefs, how can we overcome them? So the one thing that stops, stops us from healing is resistance. When we go into the denial. We form reasons with it. We almost do something that's called bargaining, bargaining. And sometimes we go into denial why we can't heal from that belief, because going back to what Sue said earlier, what I was explaining to Sue, is that that belief may keep us safe. So it's very important to understand. So for example, for me, I've gone through trauma, I was abused, and that is okay. To say to your subconscious or the ego, yes, I've gone through that. Because ego stands for edging God out, right? So edging God out is edging the voice of reason out. So your ego will find ways to tell you it's safe not to heal, it's safe to hold on to this trauma, it's safe because perhaps being a victim serves you. It may have a financial gain, it may give you sympathy somehow. I'm not saying that this is happening to you, but I'm saying the reason why people don't heal is because sometimes it serves them, or sometimes they are in denial. They can't integrate. And when they can't integrate, they spend loads and loads of money on therapy, and then they become a serial therapist, a serial client. Um, yeah, so that is Helen. Helen, I hope that, um, that has answered your question. And then Kate asked if I could scan her because she's not thriving. So I'm not sure if Kate has a video on. Okay, there you are. Okay, okay, naturally I can, I can see, but I can, I can feel Kate. I'm not even looking at you right now. It's just because I feel like there's a lot of like anxiousness in your energy. You've, you've always been quite an anxious person. And I wonder what was the surroundings of when you were growing up. And I feel like the reason why you're not thriving today, it's because that stress hormone has become a very safe hormone. Even so, you may not express it because, Kate, you're actually not a confrontational person. You don't like arguments. You're very loving harmony. Harmonized person. There's a lot of love in your heart, you've got a lot of compassion, but you also have past life energy, Kate. And I also feel like this past life energy, you know, like the Buddhist and Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, they were of service. And they also have this belief that if I am a healer or medicine, I shouldn't charge, right? Which is a belief because you have— I'm not saying that you are a healer and you are self-employed and you're not, but I'm saying these are beliefs that you have to be humble to be loved, to be seen. And I also feel like another thing that's running with you is the appeasement energy. It's appeasement energy around— it's almost like you need, um, the validation is coming through for me. And I feel like this is what's going on with, with you over there. But I feel like your energy, um, it's the people that you also around. Because remember, as Tony Robbins says, says, show me your 5 friends and and I'll show you your future. Your friends really tells you a lot about where you're going. Your friends are what forms your habits. If you hang out with people who are beauticians, you're soon going to start looking like you're a beautician. If you hang out with people who are successful, it soon can start rubbing off with you. So show me your friends and I'll show you your future. I do feel like you're very empathic and your type, there's something there, there's someone there around you that I feel like you can't grow because they keep pushing you down. That whenever you want to go up, someone pulls you down and it's almost like, no, you're not gonna make it. Then you go, oh, I've got a dream, I can go to Disneyland. No, Kate, you're old for Disneyland. I feel like whatever you do, that someone's always pushing you down. Does this make sense? Yeah, I don't know who it is. Yeah, it's, um, I have the feeling— so I have a feeling— well, I can't tell you the name because I'm not that good to tell you the names, but I have a feeling— so I feel like it's someone who's quite close to you, okay? But this person's got a very assertive, authoritative energy. But I don't feel that this person is doing this intentionally. It's just the energy, you know. People not always intentional about them being like this. It's just that they have this energy, and where you're very empathic, you feed off that energy and it disempowers you because you are very empathic. I feel also like in another life you were in a Red Cross, you were a healer in another life, and I feel like all these energies are coming through within this life. For this life, I feel like, um, nature outside, I feel like the outdoors is calling you, you know, like you could create something in the outdoors. Does that make sense? Okay, yep. Okay, um, and then it was Julianne: I feel like I'm not as abundant as I could be. I know I was a wise woman in past life. Yeah, so yes, so you are very intuitive, um, Louise, you are very intuitive. I feel like there is a strong coaching energy about you. I feel like you would be a very, very good coach, but yours is a lot to do with your confidence. Yours is a lot to do with the little voices that comes in your head. You know, we all have these little demons and they pop out now and then. I feel like you are very confident and I feel like, Louise, you would actually be a very good coach. I also feel like you've lived in France in another life. I feel like you're French. I feel like this interior designing— you, that energy of interior designing, you're very creative and you're very artistic in your energy. And that's when I'm getting these goosebumps feelings around me. I feel like you are actually meant to be thriving, but I feel like the self-sabotage energy that runs in your program— so I feel like you may create self-sabotage patterns in your life, and these things, things that's always been around you. So if something good happens, that something bad might happen.

Yeah, I'm— I feel like I'm fairly positive now. I've done a lot of Healy life work. Um, I'm a hypnotherapist, I do workshops and things, and I, I'm working on a course now about waking up to your words and listening to the words you use. Um, but I still feel like it's not actually going anywhere, and there must be something holding me back, and I haven't worked out Yeah, yeah. What I'm wondering if it's to do with this past life where I was a wise woman and I was, I was dunked as a witch. Um, spent a lot of my, lots of my life so far being terrified of water. Um, and I think it's, it's to do with hiding my light under a bushel, partly because of that. But there must be something else because I've cleared some of that.

Yeah, no, I don't feel like it's necessarily past life. I think like, is it not? Even so, you're very confident there's something else hiding. And I think with you, it's what's going to happen when you step in your ultimate power. For you, yeah, for you, it's power. And I feel like that word doesn't even feel good to some parts of you because you are meant to be powerful. But I'm not going to say hypnotherapist because I feel like you're, you're cutting yourself too small by being— calling yourself a hypnotherapist, you know. I feel like you're bigger. I feel like there's a bigger vibe about you. So I feel it's almost like you're meant to be a coach. You're meant to work more platforms. You also need to use your voice more.

Okay.

You really need to use your voice more, like podcast. Not podcast necessarily, I know this is a new thing, but I feel like you really need to step into your power of using your voice more. But I feel like for you specifically, there's something about your power. There's something about your power because you understand theory, you understand practical. I like your energy. I like what you're selling. I like your product. I like how you work. You're also very intuitive. But I also feel around your business, you need to restructure your business around packaging and how you're running the business. I know this is not a business coaching thing that we're doing, but I just feel like your business needs to elevate with you and grow with you as well. That the business model is running like an old program. I also feel like— I don't even know that you can get a business clearing, so you can find people to do a business clearing. But I find this, this energy around the business that's not really in alignment, right? You may see in monetary energy, so money comes into you like stuck, stuck, you know, like a dripping tap, drip, drip, drip. It's not like— remember, you were born to be medicinal, you're supposed to be magical and mystical. So I want you to think of yourself as gold. You're born to be like gold. Cold, but you, you're going to the pond and you're going, I only want a drop, I just want to feel what the temperature is like, and then I'm going to walk away. It's almost like you're not ready to immerse into that. There's a power there, there's a power there that's, that's, that's keeping you from actually, from growing. And I feel like once you step into that, you will perhaps look at investing in yourself in that way.

Okay, thank you.

I hope that, that gave, that gave you some food for thought around your business.

But yeah, Definitely. Thank you.

I wouldn't just call you a hypnotherapist because I feel like you're destined for bigger. I think you're a leader. So if I look at your soul part, I feel you are a leader. I feel like you're here to lead people into their higher purpose.

Okay, thank you.

Thank you.

Very welcome. Um, yes, so I'm lost. Oh yeah, and now I, I have Vivine, I have a belief that there's always a fly in the ointment. I'm lucky, but something always goes wrong or holds me from my full potential. So that's two things for you, Vivine, that I'm feeling that's happening. I feel like you have the upper limit energy. So the upper limit energy is, say for example, let's just use this as a thermostat. This is your thermostat. So your thermostat should look like this. But somehow your thermostat, every time it gets to this level, so it's not full, it goes back to reset. So I feel like in life you run a thermostat and there's a— it's an upper limit issue that you can only earn so much, you're only allowed so much choice, only allowed so much happiness before something will go wrong. And I think this is down to your childhood programming tool that you're only allowed this much, which takes you back to your self-worth. What am I standing for? What is my worth? Because you are putting an attack to your abundance. Another part of that as well, it's that you're running a belief. If I fall in love, for example, he might leave. If I get rich, I might lose my money. So that's a belief. So you really need to know, like, I hope everyone really takes this, that the world and life is abundance. If you're single, there's love. If you need money, there's millions of money all there waiting for you, but you are determining your own future.

So just— that's lovely, thank you. And I didn't stop any of that, but just because I think so many of us can resonate with so many of the questions asked there, something comes up for all of us. So it's really interesting to listen to everyone's point of view on that and, and your replies. So thank you for that, Leilah Mirza.

That's okay, that's okay. Yes, um, there's amazing people. He has very strong, powerful souls. He's— your soul's with massive vision. Um, I can see leaders, I can see women leaders, women in power. I can see a lot of powerful women who's not even spoken to, but you know I'm speaking to you. So, um, I really hope that you enjoyed it and took as much as you can from this.

So just to finish with the inner child, to heal our own inner child, is it something, you know, a good thing to try and do on our own, or do you say really we should see, you know, go with someone, a healer? Yeah, talk us through it, or is it something we can do for ourselves?

If you find yourself having a block that's really, that you really want to overcome, for example, what are you really passionate about? What do you really see yourself thriving and striving? If you feel that you're really not and you really want to overcome it, then yes, go and do it, go and see a therapist, or you can always get in touch with me. I offer, like I said, I do free clarity call to tell people where they're stuck and what they they can do. So you can invest in a therapist. Remember, if you're investing in your mental health, it's an investment because you're going to grow, right? Anything that you're investing will grow, like in your health and stuff. So you can either do that, or you can, you can go through meditations to, to connect with your inner child. You can perhaps ask yourself, because remember, you're 90% behavior, is based on learned behavior. So when you feel triggered, it's never about the other person. So if I go downstairs and my partner triggers me, for example, it's never about him, it's about me who's feeling the trigger. So he's showing something within me that needs to be healed. And this is why it's very important when you feel triggered on a daily basis, sit with yourself, feel where it's coming from. Feel what is the earliest memory of feeling like this, what is it bringing up for you, and feel why. But your self-dialogue here is very important because if you were to come and see an inner child therapist or see myself, for example, and you tell me, I'm being triggered because today's our last session and I don't want our session to end, I'll say, what is scaring you about it? What is making you feel a alone or abandoned, because we have core wounds. So we have the core wound of perhaps abandonment, trust, whatever that is. But whenever you're getting triggered, it's a time for you to connect with your inner child.

Thank you, Leilah. How can we connect with you?

Um, you can connect with me on Facebook. Um, well, my business was called Gracing Lives because I had crystal stores in in Southampton, which I, I closed, um, to focus on my coaching business. So you can connect with me, um, yeah, yeah, sorry, it is Leilah Mirza Facebook or leilahmirzacoachingandhealing.com. That's my website. So that's www.leilah, which is spelled L-E-I-L-A-H, and then Mirza is M-I-R-Z-A. So if I will be helpful. I will put it in, in the box below because I know it's quite a mouthful for you. So that's how you can connect with me, leilahmirzacoachingandhealing.com. Um, yeah, on there. And you know, I, I'll offer you a free clarity call if you need it. And just let me send that through for you.

Wonderful.

On technical stuff, because now I have clients and I'm sharing my screen and I'm showing them graphics and graphs. I'm very good with— okay, I'll just text you while I'm talking.

Thank you everyone for joining us this evening. Hope you've enjoyed it. Really enjoyed listening to you again, Leilah. So thank you so much for this evening.

You're very welcome. And please remember, you are built for increase and expansion. Not decrease and survival.

I really love that. I wrote, wrote it down. Yeah, increase and expansion, that sounds good, you know. And visualizing what we truly want to, as if we already are, isn't it?

Yes. And, and when there's resistance, there's a block, there's a fear. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Brilliant. Okay, thank you everyone. Thank you, Leilah.

Thank you.

Bless you. Bye.