Using Hanlon’s Razor at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table

We are Erin and Amanda of Level Up Creators and Level Up Creator School. I'm our Director of Operations and Amanda Northcutt is our CEO. We are across several platforms and giving people a moment to join. If you want to drop in the chat where you're joining in from, I would love it. I'm in Atlanta. Amanda is in Colorado, which is so So cool. We are so excited to be with you for a few minutes today. We are talking about Hanlon's Razor and how you can use this mental model at the Thanksgiving dinner table. So thanks again for joining us. If you have any questions for Amanda, please drop them in the chat and we are happy to answer those. Okay, Amanda, how has using Hanlon's Razor helped you to navigate tricky situations, whether that's business or at the Thanksgiving dinner table?

OK. So if y'all know me or our content at all, you know that I love mental models, and I find them very helpful, very useful at all times for all decision-making. I believe that my, you know, ability to run our business and other people's businesses comes down to excellent decision-making. And mental models play a role in excellent decision-making. And I was, I found myself in a situation that I was just completely perplexed by. A few years ago, a business situation. It was a big situation, and I was at the Denver airport waiting for a flight, and there was some delay, and I was like, I just couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Basically, in this, I'm being very vague for a reason, but I couldn't figure out what was going on. And so I started going through one of my favorite, like in-depth blog posts on the Farnam Street blog. It's like every mental model ever. It's like, so I'm. Putting this situation through each and every one of these mental models. And then I landed on Hanlon's Razor and I was like, holy moly, this is it. This is what's happening right now. And Hanlon's Razor goes like this. It's a rule of thumb that suggests people should consider other explanations for someone's behavior before assuming malice. Specifically, you might attribute someone's inappropriate comment next week at the Thanksgiving table, or some of those difficult conversations that you're anticipating with relatives that you see once a year. They may just say things that just are so far gone. We're in an election; we had just had our election. Like, my goodness gracious, there is so much opportunity for difficult conversations coming up. Everybody knows what I'm talking about. So think about My voice in your head, when you hear that relative say that crazy thing, it's maybe not because they are being malicious or have malicious intent. It may actually— this is not from me; this is from Hanlon's Razor. I'm saying this; I'm just repeating the mental model here. It may be because of stupidity or ignorance or both. And so that is such an important thing to remember, because Sometimes people make poor decisions about the words that come out of their mouth, the actions that they take, any, anything, anything, anything, anything in life. And just being mindful that perhaps not everyone around you is as disciplined in their thought and what comes out of their mouth or that they do. And that, that may not be because they are mean or mad at you or trying to make you angry. To them, what's coming out of their mouth probably sounds smart and logical from wherever they're coming from, right? So just remember that Uncle Whatever might not be trying to be a jerk, but may just be coming into a situation real hot, but with some ignorance surrounding that situation. And this absolutely applies to business as well.

Yeah. Why is it always the uncle, though? Like, is there a study on this? Because I feel like, I feel like there should be. I

don't know. I don't have an uncle, so I don't know. Um, so I never had that experience, but, um, I know that's, that is a common trope. So yeah.

What advice do you give for staying calm and applying this mental model when you're, when your emotions are running high?

Yeah. Count to 3. Take a deep breath. Try and have empathy for the situation. Try and, you know, like Michelle Obama says, when they go low, we go high. That is such a great and easy thing to remember. I don't care what your political affiliation is. When they go low, you go high. And so try and take the high road. Try and demonstrate empathy. Try and remember that someone is not necessarily, someone does not necessarily have malicious intent. Perhaps they were acting To the best of their acting or speaking to the best of their ability. And just literally, I think that the rule actually is count to 6. And even count to 6 backwards. There's something about counting backwards that helps our fight-or-flight kind of like turn down in our brains. So if you can count backwards from 6 and take a deep breath, and exhaling twice as long as you inhale— I just learned this from my acupuncturist last week. I know there's all sorts of like box breathing and, what is it, 4-7-8 or something like that breathing. But she was just like, just exhale twice as long as you inhale. And that will also kind of reset your nervous system. So try and get yourself out of fight-or-flight before something comes out of your mouth that is worthy of the Hanlon's Razor mental model overlay. Yeah, that's what I would do.

Yeah. How can creators use this mental model to build stronger relationships with clients and collaborators?

Yeah, I think really just the switch that from maybe victim mentality or something resembling victim mentality, like this person is out to get me. Maybe it was a, you know, somebody in another B2B business that you're like, you're trying to do a marketing partnership with or something like that, and it goes sour or they ghost you. Instead of assuming malicious intent, which gets you in a place of stress and does not put you in a position to take the high road, take a step back, count backwards from 6, take a deep breath, and remember that they're probably actually not even thinking about you. And they probably just got busy or something. And it's not attributable to them trying to ruin your day, week, year or life. But that people have a lot going on. And we do things sometimes impulsively or without thinking. And Everyone is fallible and capable of such things. We've all done this before. Um, so yeah, just being mindful of maybe, maybe it's not because they're trying to ruin your life, but just,

yeah,

they have something else going on.

Yeah. Do you have a personal story where assuming good intent completely changed the outcome of a situation?

Oh my gosh, I could probably tell a lot of stories around this. Um, but since I show up to these lives really cold. And do we just— I answer your questions? I don't have a specific story. But I do know that people will come off of the defensive if you approach them with curiosity instead of coming in super hot with, like, you know, a bomb you're about to drop with your words, right? And so I have seen many situations that were tense, difficult. I mean, I've been in lots of, lots of executive meetings and boardroom meetings where things are not going well, and there's a lot of blaming going on. So if you can step back and approach a situ— situation with curiosity and ask a question and like, take a breath so that the tone, your tone of voice communicates your intention of being curious and trying to understand what's going on. Because in those situations, like we're all Literally, our lizard brains are wired to be defensive. We are so wired to be defensive. And so, um, we have to use our more modern brain to recognize when you're in that state of fight, flight, or freeze and you are being super defensive and you will do anything to defend your honor because you feel like you acted within your values and your integrity and that what you did or you said was right. But inevitably, the other person thinks the same thing. They think they're in the right as well. And so I think that's a very important thing to remember in healthy conflict is that you're assuming positive intent and that there is some sort of miscommunication, communication breakdown. There's just, you're just missing each other. That's what we call it, like in our household. It's like you're, you're both, maybe the other person is not behaving well, but still you have the ability to empathize with them and do a sales tactic, actually called Agree and Disarm. This is a good customer service tactic as well. And you're not necessarily agreeing that the customer is right or something like that. But you're, you are acknowledging how they feel, and how what, whatever has transpired, or what didn't happen that they expected to, if you are going like, I can definitely understand how that made you feel disrespected and ignored. And, you know, that's not the way that we intended for this to transpire, right, or unfold. And so you're not— again, you can still believe that you are in the right; you can still be in the right. But then acknowledging the other person's feeling, feeling triggers something in our brain that like, we can come off the defensive a little bit. We can, we don't have to like have our hackles up and our guard up and like ready to, you know, punch somebody in the face. But instead, oh, OK, I feel seen. And this feels a little bit safer now. And so, you know, you be the responsible party in that interaction. Do the Agree and Disarm, assume positive intent, have empathy in remembering that the other person thinks they are just as right as you think that you are right. So you got to go into it that way.

Yeah, and I love these mental models because this is not just business. This is like everyday life too. Like, I can think of like last week, my husband went to the store. And for forgot my Chia Boni sweet cream that I need for my coffee. And automatically I wanted to be like, do you hate me? Like, why would you do this to me? But then like, as he was talking about his store experience, like one of the kids was freaking out and like super mad that they weren't getting a toy. And it's like, oh, maybe like their experience and like what they were going through made this thing happen. And it's not that they intended it to be mean or something negative for you. But sometimes just believing the good intent of like, oh, maybe you're going through a lot and I can see life from your perspective. It just gives a grace and an understanding and an empathy for other people that sometimes we're not wired to just have that out of the gate. So yeah.

Oh, one thing to add real quick, If you did screw up, own up to that shit and don't go blaming other people or making excuses for yourself. You will lose your credibility and your credibility and like in the business world especially is your currency, like your referability, your trust factor, the affinity that people have for you is based on your integrity and owning up to a situation where you made a mistake. There's actually statistics around this. This is interesting. Customers who have had a problem with a business, where, like, you know, there's a shipping problem or a problem with the, you know, report that you made for them or something like that. If that business owns up and apologizes and makes it right, that customer has higher affinity and therefore higher likelihood for repeat purchases and referrals than a customer who did not have a problem with the organization. And so you have such an opportunity to earn trust, and I mean earn it by owning up to what you did and fixing it, by having integrity and acting within your integrity. So don't hear me say, everybody else applies to Hanlon's Razor, but not me, because, you know, I'm higher and, you know, high and mighty or whatever. I'm not saying that. So you have to have a high deal, a high degree of emotional intelligence to yield these tools, or wield, wield these tools in a way that is good and OK and kosher. So have that in mind as well. If you screwed up, own up to it, fix it, move on with your life.

Yeah. Last question: What's the best way to practice and start working in mental models into everyday life?

Hmm. If you have a decision you've been spinning on for a couple of days, for instance, that's a great opportunity. You are, you're stuck, you're spinning. That's a good time to start asking your mentor, mentor, partner, advisors, you You know, a trusted party, an employee, whatever the case may be, a past boss, your current boss. But yeah, when you're stuck and you can't make a decision about something that is clearly important to you, that's a great opportunity to be like, oh, I have this, these tools in my toolbox, and I can put on, you know, this lens and look through Hanlon's Razor. I can put on this lens and look through, you know, the 1% Rule and this lens and, you know, so on and so forth. Like literally, I went through 30, 40 mental models when I was trying to figure out what the hell was happening in this business situation a couple of years ago. But that created the light bulb moment and that was the information that I needed. It was well worth the effort to go through the exercise.

Yeah. That's awesome. Also, if we haven't met yet, there are 2 ways that we do help thought leaders and creators like you build rock solid recurring revenue businesses. The first way is with Level Up Creators. That is our done-for-you white glove consulting firm. And the second is Level Up Creator School, where we help a global group of thought leaders build businesses through a done-with-you model. Creator School includes access to our consulting team and methodology in a way that used to be reserved exclusively for our consulting clients. Thank you so much for joining our livestream and be sure to follow us for more tips and insights on how to build a successful recurring revenue business. Bye.

Thanks everybody.