Stirling Cooper: The Harsh Reality of The Adult Film Industry

Internet pornography is this massive social experiment which is going to have very negative ramifications.

The most unattractive thing a man could be is needy and desperate. Yeah, that, that is the number one. And I was that because the second I got out of this relationship, I go, I need to sleep with someone, I need to get with someone else. And chicks were repulsed. And as soon as I withdrew, I said, look, screwed it, I'm just going to focus on making as much money as possible, giving myself as much freedom as possible so I can fly around the world and, you know, go to these places, getting as jacked as possible, getting as healthy as possible, and I'm not gonna be hitting up girls in the DMs, I'm not gonna chase for a year or two. That's when things completely changed.

Almost everything that men do is for sex. If you really break it down, it's to do with reproduction. It's like, why do we get up every day and work our asses off? Okay, so we can provide for our woman and our families. Like why do we get jacked? To look good. We do these things primarily on a base level, like an evolutionary level, for the reward of sex, kind of.

Sterling Cooper.

¿Qué hay, mate?

What's up, man? What are you doing in Marbella? You're the only—

What am I doing here?

Yeah, you're the only Australian that I know in Marbella. And you know what? Irish and Australian, they're very similar. Like, I've spent probably altogether months months in Australia. I went there once for a fitness expo to Melbourne. It's meant to be gone for a week, end up staying like 5 weeks. Felt so at home there. My girlfriend, she lived in Melbourne for 3 years. Her sister currently lives there. Some of my best friends live in Australia. So I love Australians.

I'm telling you, well, there's, there's something about it. I think I was watching, uh, your podcast with, um, with David. Yeah. And there was something you mentioned, uh, Tall Poppy Syndrome on that podcast and I thought, oh my God, that's actually like— that's where we get it from because Australians get Tall Poppy Syndrome too and I thought it was just us but apparently it's the Irish too. It must be the Irish.

You know what, I think it's the English, Irish, and Australian, like, you know, just the beer people, the beer drinking culture, you know, like, you know, we love to slag each other off, that's part of the kind of the culture, it's part of the humor, but and it's particularly in small towns. So, I've lived in London as well and didn't really get much there because London's so big that everyone is doing their own thing, that they can't look into what you're doing. You're up against celebrities and huge ballers there. But in a place like Dublin, which is very small, which I kind of like as well, maybe you're from a smaller town in Australia, then you get it there. And so, what's been your experience like with Tall Poppy Syndrome?

Well, it didn't really kick in until I left Australia, oddly enough. And then when I started having a bit of success in America, I had all these people from back home starting to chirp up and say, what are you doing? Like, I'm worried about you. I'm concerned about you. I'm like, no, you're not. You don't give a shit. You're concerned about how I'm making you feel about yourself. Nice. You're not actually concerned about me. It's sort of friendship. Like, it's a disguised friendship, but it's actually like a little bit of jealousy, a little bit of like tall poppies syndrome, like we said. Yeah, but it's disguised as caring. Yeah, you didn't reach out to me for like years, and now all of a sudden you're concerned because you're seeing me like on Instagram or something? Yeah, like, this is suspicious.

Exactly. Yeah, I know, people, people, they don't really care, you know. What's the, the thing called again? Spotlight effect? That people are only like looking at themselves, really. And if someone is going into your business it's not from a place of empathy. And so, so tell me, what was it like growing up in Australia? What part did you grow up in?

I'm from the southwest of Western Australia. Okay. I grew up in a 3,000-person farming town. Tiny, tiny little thing.

You're the second farmer I've had on the podcast. Dorian Yates.

Nice. Yeah, on your boat in Marbella now. If I could meet Dorian Yates, that would be like a childhood dream come true.

Oh man, I'll set it up. That was One of the best podcasts ever. I literally didn't speak during the whole thing. I was just like, it was a masterclass. Dude's a legend. But second farmer. So right, we're on the Australian farm.

Well, technically my uncle's the one that owns the farm. Yeah. But we, you know, we'd spend Christmas there. We'd go out there all the time and stuff. But I worked on farms like growing up every, every, uh, you know, every summer between university I'd be back on the farms working. So it's, you know what, I think it was because of that that I have had such a yearning to explore Yeah, it could be the European blood in me, like wanting to just get out and see the world. So for me, it was all— I always wanted to travel. I always wanted to travel, and my highest value was always freedom. Same. It sort of— that was the thing. I could— you could give me anything else. I could take— I could trade all the money in the world, just give me all the freedom instead. I'll take freedom over material possessions, over like love sometimes. Yeah, yeah, really, seriously. But freedom was the number one value that I always sought, and then So, when I kind of eventually, you know, built the business I have now, it was designed with that in mind. It was designed with freedom in mind and not trading my time for money primarily, and being able to be location independent, being able to go where I want, when I want, however I want, in style if I need to. Yeah. So, freedom for me has always been that number one value. And realizing that very early on was a gift, I guess, because I tried to design all my all my failed businesses prior to this, I tried to design them in that way.

What was your first failed business? By the way, I am pumped for this. Like, I'm free. You mentioned freedom and I'm like, freedom. So tell me, what was your first failed business?

My first failed business was an underwear business.

Nice.

Yeah. What was it called? Uh, I won't give that away because, because I'm— that would dox me actually.

Yeah. Yeah.

So Sterling Cooper isn't my real name. Okay. It's my stage name.

Yeah.

And I don't use my real name because I try to protect my family. 'Cause there's a lot of weirdos on the internet, a lot of them. And I don't want my brother, my sister, my father, my cousins, my uncles getting flack for having known, for being related to me.

Yeah, that's actually like, sometimes I wish I had a stage name as well. I'm very, very jealous. And you know what, that actually comes into the freedom thing, you know? Like there's a few guys that I know that do that. And for example, you know Derek Moore, Plates More Dates? I don't know his second name. Someone asked him on a podcast, person he wouldn't say. And I'm like, I wish I was just Rob. Sometimes I wish that.

Rob the Jackknife.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Rob from Marbella. But so, right, we're growing up in Australia, right? And you, you're valuing freedom, and you mentioned friends and family, you want to protect them. What do they think of, you know, the choice you made to go into the adult film industry? And how did you get from farm to there?

That's a pretty good question.

Yeah, I want to know.

How did I get there?

Yeah, I watched the podcast and I want to know.

Well, it's so again, growing up in a small town, like there wasn't that many pretty women.

Bunch of hefty farmers.

Burly things. Burly farm ladies.

Hey, whatever you're into.

They'd give you great kids, I'm sure. Strong, strong kids. But they probably weren't, you know, lookers. Yeah, yeah. Few brutes. Yeah, not trying to shit on my hometown. Yeah, but that was also like, you know, you get to the big city. I went to university, went to Perth, and you start seeing pretty girls, and I'm like, man, I've been missing out on this. Yeah, my whole life living in buttfuck nowhere. And so that kind of degenerate spiral started going out to clubs all the time, hitting on women, this sort of stuff. Ended up getting into the swingers scene in that city. 'Cause that was like a shortcut. Yeah. I could just like go to these parties and I can have like 4 or 5 women at a time.

Knocking— I've killed 2 birds or 5 birds at once.

Exactly. It just worked for me. And more importantly, it appealed to like the exhibitionist in me.

Yes.

Weird thing I noticed when I was a kid, I loved giving speeches. Like, I remember one of my most distinct memories from primary school was we had like this English assignment was to get up and give a speech on something. And everyone else was petrified of public speaking for some reason. And I loved it. Can I go first? Got up there, like, absolutely loved it. Everyone else decided to copy what I was doing, like, after that. But it was like recognizing that that didn't scare me, that gave me energy instead. That being the center of attention and being an exhibitionist thing was kind of in here somewhere. And so I recognized that again when I started getting into the swinger scene, doing parties and stuff. I'm like, oh, okay, I don't have a problem whipping my dick out.

Yeah, yeah, not a big deal.

This ain't a problem. Yeah. And you know, socializing at the same time.

Yeah.

And then that ended up— I met some girls in that who did like escorting and they did porn and they kind of helped me connect with like directors. And yeah, I ended up pitching them. I was like, hey, I do this, I do that. I'd like to give it a try. A very professional pitch. Yeah, not like— didn't send him a dick pic. Yeah, very, very important.

Snapchat wasn't around back then.

Talking to porn directors, right? Yeah. Or guys who cast men, they're like, dudes, don't send dick pic, don't send a dick pic. It's like the first thing every guy, for some reason, they think, oh, this male director is going to want to see my wang.

This is my portfolio.

He does not want to see that.

He doesn't care.

Yeah, yeah. So that's a lot. I did not do that, and I approached it very professionally. They gave me a shot, uh, and the first girl I ever worked with, she was an American actress actually. They flew her out to, um, to Melbourne to do some, some scenes. And, uh, she gave me some encouragement. She's like, you did a very good job, you're very good at this, you're a natural, keep doing it. I'm like, thank you, man. Yeah, thank you very much. And I did. That was, that was a little boost of confidence I needed to say, like, okay, I might be able to do this for a living.

Yeah. And so your first scene went well?

Very well. Okay. Yeah, I was petrified though.

Yeah.

It was in the Melbourne Hotel Airport, like a Melbourne Airport hotel, and there was a scene before me, and so he had me waiting in the airport. He was like, oh look, you're a bit early, you know, we'll be done in about 10 minutes. I'm like, cool. 10 minutes passes, still nothing. 20 minutes pass, I'm like, everything okay? He's like, yeah, yeah, we're just running late, running late, running late. Like 30 minutes, probably 45 minutes I was waiting. Okay. And eventually he's like, okay, cool, come over. By that point, I'm just like, oh, shaking in my boots. But I get in there, I crush it, we have a good day, have a good thing. Oh man. And I was like, okay, cool. This was, again, it was a reaffirmation of that, like, oh, that scenario gave me energy. Yeah. Rather than a lot of guys will get— this is a job that 99.9% of men cannot do. They literally can't do.

Mannerly.

A lot of guys, and I have to say this because people pretend like this isn't the case, but a lot of men have at some point in their life, especially as a teenager, thought about what it would be like to do porn.

Hands off, guilty.

They thought about it, right? They haven't considered it seriously, but they've at least thought about it.

Yeah.

And a lot of guys think they can do the job and they can't because you have to have something in you that— pardon me— you have to have something in you that thrives off that exhibitionism.

Yeah, it's like seriously rare. Like, you know, that it's like probably one of the most scary things you could ever do. Like, I I often say doing YouTube fitness is scary, putting my workout and posing online. I'm like, this is a completely different level. So the first scene went well, and then what happened after that?

Kept working in Melbourne for about 6 months, ended up making some connections there to directors who knew directors in England, and then I took advantage of— there's a cool visa between England, and I think Ireland, and Australia. We have this joint thing, the farmer's program. That's it. A lot of farming on this podcast. Come on out. But it was more something to do with if you're under like 31 or something, you can just go there and immediate visa, immediate residency. So I took advantage of that, went out and lived in England for like about 8 months and started shooting out there. And I was— it was actually New Year's Day I got the call from Brazzers. Wow. To shoot for them.

That's big.

And that was after I was grinding for about 4 months in England trying to get work. Networking, hustling, trying to get work, trying to work, trying to work. Shot for Fake Taxi, pretty famous. Oh yeah, yeah, great guys. They're great guys, very, very funny. Yeah. And then Brazzers called me up, they gave me a shot. I'm like, okay, this is real now. All right, cool. And then, and then maybe a couple months later, they flew me out— the same company flew me to Budapest in Hungary to shoot out there for a bit. And that's kind of how things escalated.

Yeah. And so run me through like a day on set. Like, you guys arrived there at like a studio or something, and then, you know, what's the vibe like? Where does it go from there?

Yeah, okay, uh, I mean, let's— typical shoot day, like, in Los Angeles, right? You rock up to the house, the girl's in a makeup chair already. She's been there for like half an hour at least, maybe an hour before. They take a long time. Oh yeah, long time to do all the makeup. Yeah, so I, I rock up, I'm still sitting there and waiting for about half an hour. I get my paperwork, I sit and I do my paperwork for like an hour or half an hour or whatever. We, uh, the girl finishes in her makeup chair, We sit down with the director, we go over the script, we go over the lines, try to rehearse the lines a little bit, try to memorize a little bit. I like the acting part personally.

I skipped that part.

Everyone skips that part. I'd say that, but I like it.

Yeah, yeah.

So we rehearse that, and then honestly, like two-thirds of the day is actually the setup. It's actually the dialogue. Okay, yeah. Because all the directors are really— they're classically trained film school graduates.

Yeah.

They take pride in their work, they take pride in their shots and their angles. They're all trying to get awards as well. Yes, yeah.

Because you win awards for like all the cinematic stuff.

So they're putting all the effort into that. Yeah. And so we spend two-thirds of the day like setting up this shot, setting up this shot, getting these dialogue, this dialogue, this dialogue, and then the last part of the day is the sex scene. Yeah. And you do it twice, kind of. So you get— you do this— you do a dry run with the photos. Okay. Where you just be kind of like posing mid-sex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Photograph, photograph, photograph. And that's kind of me and the girl and the director being like, okay, we're gonna start here in this position, and then we're gonna do this, and then this, and then this. And me and her kind of try and— we kind of have an understanding of what I'm gonna move her into next.

Yeah.

So there's no awkwardness.

Okay, yeah, that's what I was about to ask. I'm like, you know, is there ever any like awkwardness on set, or is it really helpful when you know the girl beforehand and have a bit of a vibe?

If you've got chemistry, it's amazing. Okay. But that chemistry is probably like one-third of the time. Yeah, you're not going to have chemistry with everybody. You really aren't.

It's a job, you know, you're showing up to work.

It doesn't matter how beautiful the woman is either, and that's something that really struck me early on was like, oh, this woman is stunning, and like, you know, prior to getting to set, I'm like, oh, I'm working with that girl. Yes, this is gonna be a great day, no problem. And you get there and there just isn't sparks.

Yeah.

And that's— I think that's got nothing to do with physical looks, physical attraction. It's— there's something else, something in the air, someone's personality that will cause that spark, and you don't know where it's going to come from sometimes. It could be any— it could be the most random person you end up doing a scene with, like, oh, that girl really, really grinds my gears, that girl really gets me going for some reason. And when that happens, it's easy day, everyone's happy, great shot, great scenes, paychecks flow on, no problem.

So nice. And so on that note, is there much money in the adult industry? No, no way.

Not for the dudes, no.

Okay, yes. That's why I imagined—

I mean, look, to be honest, actually, I was earning— so I used to be a chemistry graduate. I was a chemistry school graduate. I used to work as a pharmaceutical chemist and an oil and gas quality control chemist. Those were my two previous jobs.

Nice.

From pharmacology.

Yeah, I'm like, you are, you really are a man of mystery with the name and everything.

This is the best podcast yet. Kerbal, what are you trying to go for? So that was my, uh, you know, like my kind of previous profession. And honestly, I was— I earned more doing pornography than I ever made doing that. Okay.

Yeah.

And I was— I wasn't— I wouldn't say I was totally time independent, but I was at least my own boss in a way. Like, I'm an independent contractor. I choose when I— when I don't work.

Yeah, of course.

It's not like a 9 to 5. So it was better than what I was doing before, but it's still not— in the grand scheme of things, it's not— the guys don't get paid jack shit. The women get paid at least twice as much. Minimum.

How could you pay a guy for turning up and having sex? Oh, you know, like, it's every—

a lot of guys— You could say it's a brand new guy and they'll try— the way they test out new male talent, at least in Los Angeles, they'll test them out with what you call a blowbang scene. So like one girl and about 13 dudes and it's only like a blowjob. Yeah. No penetration. So they suck. That's the worst day on set because you can't— you have to basically like stand at the back of a line and wait your turn to get like 2 minutes of a shit handjob and a blowjob.

Same as a teenage disco.

It's horrible. And that— so for that scene, they'll pay the guys $200. So that's like the bottom of the barrel kind of work. Yeah. Okay, then you've been— then you've built up your reputation, you're doing a good job. You're reliable, cool. Then you can start getting work for $400, $500, and then you start working for bigger companies, more in-depth dialogue, longer days, then you're hitting $600, $800. And the guys who end up getting like contracted to a certain company, they'll make $1,000 to $1,500. It's kind of the upper echelon of a team. Now, let's contrast that with the girls. Girls coming in, pretty much, if they've got a good agent at least, if they're not— the agent isn't screwing them over, they'll probably come in around like $900 to a grand minimum per scene. Okay. And a girl can actually— a girl can work a lot more than a guy can. You know, if a girl wants to, she could crank it out. She could go all day.

She could go all day.

She could do 2 scenes a day, 30 days a month. She could, if she really wanted to.

Is there anyone that does that?

And new women will do that. Yeah. Yeah, especially if their agent is a bit greedy.

Yeah.

They will absolutely do that. They probably shouldn't, because it takes a toll on their body and they just burn out. And they get shot out, which is a thing in the industry. When every company has shot a girl, they don't want to shoot her again. Yeah, it's because it's all— that's kind of the dichotomy of it, is that the guys get paid less, but because we're shot from like the nipples down, no one can— you can't really tell it's us in every scene.

Yeah, true.

But with the girl, because she is the focus of the camera, that her face is on the camera like 90% of the movie. So the audience can tell, oh, it's so-and-so again. We want a new girl. We want a new girl. We want a new girl. So girls can get shot out where they shoot for every company and then they have to take like a month or two off not working because no one else wants to shoot them again.

Yeah.

Whereas a guy, if you end up on a director's roster of talent, like he only really— most directors only really have like 6 to 8 guys max that they work with. So your goal as a guy is to get on the rosters of as many directors as you can. Do a first scene you shoot for a director, you just knock it out of the park, you give it everything. And you rock up early, you get your paperwork done on time, you don't cause any trouble, you keep the female talent happy and laughing, you keep the director laughing, everybody loves you, you go home early, everyone gets paid, bang, he's hiring you again.

Yeah.

And now you're on his roster.

So reputation is important.

100% about reputation.

Yeah. So you— this sounds like, you know, all great, like this sounds fantastic. What are some of the dark sides of the industry? And I feel— and even life after porn, I feel that can, you know, mess with some people's mental health. Give me some of the negatives here as well and some of the drawbacks.

Yeah, because we got—

we got to be realistic. Yeah, totally. Look at all sides.

I completely agree. Yeah, so I think it's different for the guys and the girls. I'll be totally honest with that. A lot of the guys in the industry, like, at least the dudes that I knew, I hung out with on set, they seem very well adjusted. They're happy, casual, relaxed dudes.

Yeah.

But it takes away a lot of your motivation and drive as a man. Think of it this way, like, almost everything that men do is for sex, if you really break it down. It's to do with reproduction. It's like, why do we get up every day and work our asses off? Okay, so we can provide for our woman and our families. Like, why do we get jacked? To look good for the opposite sex. That's why we do it.

We all start, yeah.

We do these things primarily on a base level, like an evolutionary level, for the reward of sex, kind of. So take that away, like, take that motivation away. Now your sex life is literally scheduled into your diary and you're getting paid for it. And like, there's very— unless you just act like a dickhead, there's very little you can do to screw it up. Huh, where is the motivation for anything else now? It kind of disappears. And I think that is actually the secret dark side of it for the dudes. Yes. Because I noticed that. I'm like, my level of ambition— because I was like very entrepreneurial before I got into, you know, the porn industry. And then I get into porn, I'm achieving, I hit this goal, I'm like, oh cool. And then I was happy just coasting for a few years. It just took away a lot of that drive and that motivation. And then when I got out, bang, it sparked up again.

Nice.

Oh, that's where it went. Because the sex was just on autopilot. It took away, like no effort was required. So I think, at least for me, I think that's something that's deep within me, that I need some— that primal motivator in some way. Maybe, and hopefully, that will eventually turn into like a wife and kids for me very soon. But that is the dark side for the dudes. For the women, the dark side can be— I'm not gonna lie, they can come out of it very jaded and— And you're worn as well, you know, like they're just having sex, relationships constantly. Like, they— it's a very— because the industry is based in California, it's very liberal, woke, social justice warrior, very feminist. Yeah. Super feminist.

They say it's empowering.

I don't think it is. Well, it's empowering in terms of making money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You make money. Like, the girls will make a ton— if they do it right, if they approach it professionally, they can make a ton of money. Not just from, like, per scene, but, like, their OnlyFans and stuff on that.

Oh yeah, especially nowadays.

The women make tons more than the dudes do if they act professionally and do it correctly, which a lot of them don't, unfortunately. They get mismanaged. They get fed a load of bullshit. They think it's something that's not. They get wrapped up in, like, the glamorous perception of what it is and don't realize it's as professional of an industry like anything else. It actually takes— sounds funny, but it actually does take, like, work and marketing skills to pull it off and make it work.

Of course.

So Yeah, a lot of girls will come out of it, I think, jaded towards men. But which is not because of the people, the guys they shoot scenes with. It's because of their fans. It's because of their interactions with their fans online and in DMs and things like on their Instagram, on their Twitter. You sit down and like, if you observe the way these women interact with their fans on Twitter, for example, they don't respect them. They don't really have a lot of love for them. No. They'll happily take the attention and stuff, but the moment dudes start, like, getting creepy or hitting on them, replying on them, maybe sending them a dick pic here and there or something like that, which they shouldn't do.

Yeah.

They shouldn't do.

Lesson of this podcast. No dick pics.

But you'll see the feminist, the misandry, I think that's the correct word, like the anti-man stance kind of come out of them. And they see the worst side of men, I think.

Yeah.

Because of the fan base, oddly enough. Not because of the dudes that they're on set working with, but the fans that they're sort of, let's say, kind of creepy, low ambition, a bit desperate, needy, pedestalizing them. And that creates that resentment. Yeah.

And I'd say the industry in LA, it's very flash and superficial, and that can kind of mess with your head as well, especially if like your girl one day, you know, you're getting all this money, you know, you're getting all this praise, fame, and then all of a sudden, you know, you retire or whatever and it's taken away from you. You know, that could be a big drop in dopamine.

And what do they do afterwards? What do they do? They don't do anything. Yeah, seriously, because especially the younger girls getting into it now This was different 20 years ago, prior to internet pornography. Yeah. A girl could legitimately probably do porn and she could actually do a job afterwards.

Yeah, because there's no records.

There's no— and same with the dudes, because there's no fingerprint on the internet. Now that is not the case. That fingerprint is there forever. So I think a lot of girls get into it at a younger age, early 20s or whatever, They don't fully realize the long-term ramifications of not being able to have any other job outside of this ever again. And they're kind of stuck.

Big question. So what do you think of this generation, girls and guys doing OnlyFans now? Do you think they're not thinking long-term?

Yeah, I think they're thinking very short-term. If you look at the actual earnings statistics on OnlyFans, it is something like the top— it's like the top 1% are making like 99% of the cash. Like, it's like any industry, but it's so saturated. And this only happened during the pandemic, like during 2020. Everyone was sitting around at home. It's this perfect, perfect storm. All the dudes are sitting around at home with a dick in their hand, and all the girls got fired and like, oh, I can make some money by flashing my tits on the internet. And they get sold the lie that it's, oh, it's easy money and you'll make 10 G's a month, no problem. That is not the case. The vast majority of creators on OnlyFans make, I think, 'Less than $300 a month.' 'Less than $300 a month,' and they're flashing their tees around. Yeah, it's like, okay, you've been sold a lie. The girls who've been doing this for a while, who've known the game— sure, new girls can come in and crush it, I'm not going to dispute that fact, but the vast majority of you are not going to do anywhere near the numbers you think you're going to do. And now this is a fingerprint that's going to be online forever. It's like, don't fall for the easy cash.

Yeah, don't, don't fall for the glamorous lifestyle. And like, you look at the 1% and you think, oh, that's the norm, but it's the exception, not the rule. And so how or why did you end up leaving the industry?

Actually, can I— I want to add one more example of, um, talk about like negative ramifications and stuff. Yeah, I have one friend who, uh, she got into the industry. She's like a MILF performer.

Yep.

So she got into the industry probably like 10, 15-ish years ago actually too. And she did one of the first ever like stepson stepmom scenes ever in history. Kind of, it kind of started the trend actually. She was one of the ones who started it and she hates that fact actually if you talk to her. And what ended up happening was, so she, because she actually has kids herself, As her career progressed, the MILF stuff, she got typecast. That's all she could get work doing. All she could get work doing was being the stepmom, all that creepy shit going on. And then she decided, "Okay, well, I don't want to do this kind of stuff. What else can I get work for?" And then the only other option she had was to do really extreme physical stuff. So like gangbangs, BDSM, like really, really physically demanding stuff. So she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to do this stuff for moral reasons, and this sucks. So she ended up getting out of the industry. And that's another sort of dark side of the industry, is it getting typecast into these really fucking creepy roles. For both— I mean, I got typecast as the creepy uncle. Oh, nice. I got typecast— What's up, I'm— I'm the creepy coercive blackmailing guy. Like, that's who I get cast as. And so you keep No one ever just makes normal, like, there's no such thing nowadays as a porno of like, "Oh, man and woman find each other attractive." That doesn't exist anymore.

They go on date!

They go back home! They enjoy a nice dinner! Doesn't happen! Doesn't happen anymore. There's gotta be some blackmailing going on, some coercion. Murder! They're related somehow.

Yes, yes, yes.

Dandelion. This has to be— —like the norm now for some reason. So I think that's another really dark, twisted side of the industry that doesn't get talked about enough, and I think it's a real, real issue. And unfortunately, from the performer side of things, there's not really much we do about it or can do about it. It's like, well, it's either no work or you get the work that you're given, right? So, and then the directors as well, the directors, that's the scripts they're given to shoot. It's not their decision, it's the decisions are higher up. Yeah. So it's a bit of a shitty situation.

Interesting one that you mentioned higher up. Now, there is like, who owns the porn companies? Like, there's like, I've seen some Illuminati conspiracies, you know, and I'm, well, after the last couple years, I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, I'm not gonna lie.

Me too. So who, who owns all this?

Like, because, and this brings it on to the next question, the fact that it has on our brains, but But first, who owns all these industries?

Also, the biggest— there's two major players in the porn industry. The biggest one is a company called MindGeek. They're a Canadian company. They actually changed owners recently, but MindGeek own Pornhub, and they also own about 10— I think it's about 10 other, like, what we call tube sites. So sites like Pornhub, where you can get all this free stuff. They also own some of the biggest studios on the planet, like Brazzers, I think they also own Reality Kings, maybe, or maybe it's Bang. And are these physical studios as well? Well, I used to— so when we say studio, we like— we mean— I should say brands. Okay, brand. Yeah. So it's basically a website, you know, Brazzers.com, whatever. That's the brand, and they will shoot content under that brand. And, you know, different brands have somewhat different styles and niches, if you want to get technical. But that— so the overarching company, MindGeek, and then you have you have Pornhub and all the tube sites, and then you have the brands underneath that. So they're the ones that actually dictate— because they have all— Pornhub is like the Google of adult. They have so much data, unbelievable amounts of user data. It's one of the most trafficked sites on the planet. Yeah, like bar any site, anything. And it's purely search related. So, and they have all these demographic and search results And they, you know, geo-track you. They know which countries you're in when you're doing all this stuff. So they know which countries and which states in America are Googling the most things. They produce the— they publish this data every year, by the way, Pornhub search statistics. You can look that up. So they're the ones cranking it all out and they're doing it. It's like you have to ask the question, okay, are they doing it based upon like search, or are they kind of the same way that Google will prioritize certain content in their search algorithm over other content? Okay, is it a case of like people are searching for stepbrother fucking porn, or is it because this stuff is getting pushed into an algorithm when they search for other things? Yeah. Do I know the answer to that? I don't. I wish I did know the answer to that. Now, you can freely Google the owners of MindGeek, and you can see who they are right now, and you could see who they were before recently. PornHub got into a lot of trouble recently, 2 years ago, back in, sorry, end of End of 2020, they got in a lot of trouble because they had all of this abuse material on Pornhub, which they didn't take down despite the victims of that material requesting it being taken down. And they were making ad revenue money off of it as well. So now they're in— Mastercard and Visa pulled themselves from Pornhub, so they don't associate with them now. And they wiped something like Giant, like millions and millions and millions of videos off the site, and now only people who have like uploaded their ID can upload content now. They should have been doing that from day one. Yeah, they should have been doing that.

Twitter are kind of doing that now as well, with, you know, Elon Musk is reducing trolling and stuff, but definitely, you know.

Yeah, and it's— I think like internet pornography is this massive social experiment which is going to have very negative ramifications. Especially on young men, on teenage boys and their brains. It's gonna fuck up an entire generation. Okay, brilliant.

Right, so this actually kind of— this is a topic I'm really interested in, and it actually goes into health and fitness. It actually does, which is my field. What are the effects that watching porn, especially as a young lad, what are the effects that it has on your brain?

It screws with your dopamine receptors, your real— your reward circuitry. Screws with your motivation, right? Because dopamine— people think dopamine is like the feel-good chemical, which is not quite right. Dopamine is like your reward chemical. It's like dopamine is what you get for pursuing something. You don't really get dopamine when you achieve something. You get dopamine by working towards a goal, right? And so that's what it's designed to do. It's designed to make us hunt the gazelle, right? Or whatever.

Is that like an analogy? No. Come here, Linda.

The first time is not an analogy. Okay, so that's what the dopamine is supposed to do for us. Yeah. So, and you know, you could look at pursuing a woman as, you know, if you, and you know, if any man who's walked up to a pretty girl at a bar or talk to a lady in the street, you get a— you should get a feeling of dopamine, like a good rush. It's a high. It's a high, even if it goes well or not. Yeah, you get the high because you're taking action towards a goal. Cool. So let's— we cut out the entire, like, work, cut out the actual pursuit part, and we just go straight to the reward, which for the male brain is, like, female sexuality. Okay, well, now the brain is just getting bombarded with all this dopamine and the receptors, the same kind of the same way that like you become resistant to a drug. Yeah, the receptors no longer work as well. It requires more dopamine to have the same kind of effect. So they get nullified like that. Okay, well, now we lose all motivation. We lose all drive. It requires— the real world isn't gonna— doesn't give our brains, or the teenage boy's brain, doesn't give his brain enough dopamine to pursue meaningful goals, or hit the gym, or build a business, or talk to a pretty girl. It's nowhere near as rewarding and stimulating. Same effect is happening with TikTok.

Yeah, it's the scrolling.

Instagram Reels, all this stuff, even Twitter to a degree. Like, It's doing the same thing that Pornhub is doing to teenagers.

On probably a lesser, less extreme scale, but maybe not that much, you know.

I don't think— I mean, it's targeting different parts of the brain, but it's still kind of doing the same problem, causing the same problem. It's screwing up their dopamine reward circuitry and thus screwing up their ability to really have delayed gratification. Yeah. Because that's what it's about. Like, you need to cultivate delayed gratification to be successful at anything in life. I mean, how long did it take you to prepare for that last show?

Oh my God, it was 4 months in total. And so I'll actually tell you on that. So the reason I did that was because I was getting complacent in life. I was getting too comfortable, like you said, you know, regular sex, villain, you know, everything was, was just— I was felt myself just getting comfortable. I said, I need a challenge, I need a journey, I need a chase. And it was like the biggest form of monk mode, you know. I stopped like eating out, fancy dinners, you know, super focused, giving myself that delayed gratification. And now, you know, went out for dinner last week, went on a night out, feels— it was like a dopamine reset. Yeah, it actually really was. So like you said, delayed gratification. And it's funny that we're quoting Alex Hormozy on this podcast, but he said your level of success is defined by your delayed gratification.

Yeah, so it's crazy. Yeah, and that's, that's actually something that guys can practically do to fix that, if they want to get off porn, if they want to get off TikTok— like, my friends call it TikTok brain. Yeah. What a lot of younger kids have these days. If you want to kind of break that cycle, break the habit, you have to do a dopamine detox. You have to, like, really cut. So if you, for example, if I want— if a kid wanted to say, I want to stop watching porn, okay, cool. I'd tell him, great, going cold turkey is going to be difficult. If you can do it, do it by all means. That's the shortest path there. Yeah. But if you can't, if you're struggling, Well, cut back your TikTok use. Wow. Cut back your social media use. Cut back your Instagram use, right? Cut these things down to give your brain more breathing room, and you'll probably find that this will be much easier. The Pornhub stuff will be much easier because you're giving yourself a little bit more resilience and brain power to work with by reducing these ones too, right? And then cut out sugary foods. Cut out alcohol, right? Cut out these things that give you like an immediate spike reward for doing nothing. Yes. So if you cut these things— these are all part of the same problem. So we just start cutting all these things out, and we can completely give our brain a chance to reset back to factory settings the way it should be.

Yeah, that's how I feel right now after that. Yeah, yeah. And, and so with, um, when it comes to giving up porn, did you used to watch it? Or because you were in it, yeah. And so how did you give it up?

I mean, I, I looked at it when I was, when I was in it, it was like I was kind of studying it. Yeah, more than player replay. Yeah, yeah, it's like, uh, like watching game footage. Yeah, yeah, actually replay. Yeah, yeah, uh, but I'm looking at— I'm like, I'm looking at the angles, I'm looking at like, okay, like what, what kind of moves can I do? Trying to come up with like a new move. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, what can I, what can I do to spice things up a bit? Transitions. I'm looking at it. Yeah, you're a business. Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at very differently. Yes, for sure. Yeah, every guy. Yeah, very different. And consider, like, I— if I go on to Pornhub now, I know the people. Yeah, I can't— I— it's like, not only is it like, I know that guy, nope, I know that guy. It's also like, oh, that chick's a bitch. No, she was super rude to me. That way, exactly.

I don't want to watch her. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, it doesn't work anymore. Yeah, so nowadays you don't watch porn really, you know.

I'm not gonna— occasionally I'll fap here and there. Yeah, yeah. I think strategic fap. Yeah, it's probably a better way of saying it.

What is it? There's actually a really funny study and they go 7 days is the perfect amount.

Your testosterone and everything goes up, then you just turn weird.

Yeah, they're like, so you gotta do it on 7 or 8 days. Yeah, that's the peak. It's so funny.

No fat peaks. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

But I, uh, pretty much gave it up too, which is when I started, you know, living with my girlfriend. I would just feel really weird being in the same house and, you know, this beautiful blonde girl downstairs.

Yeah, that makes sense.

But I remember, like, you know, back when I, I did watch a lot of it, you get that, uh, you know, the post-nut clarity, and you, you feel kind of like, yeah, demotivated. Like, you're never gonna watch porn, jack off, and want to go to the gym and like do a fucking podcast and a business call.

You know, never, ever, ever, ever, ever. But you'll find the complete opposite when you, when you start, when you start getting into NoFap or whatever. As the, as the days stack up, the motivation kicks in more, more, more, more. You want to, you want to get out and want to conquer the world.

Yeah, exactly. All right, so dating advice nowadays, right? You've transitioned into relationship coaching, am I correct?

Or dating coaching? Bedroom coaching. Okay, nice, nice. I put it— that's your niche. Because that's my, that's my kind of area of expertise. Of course.

Yeah, and it's so important. Okay, so let's say I sign up with you where do we begin? Like, so for example, if client signs up for me, wants to improve their fitness, you know, we'll look at their training, their diet, their lifestyle. Where do we begin?

Well, depends what your problem is. So there's— I try to target all the different pain points that a guy could possibly have. So is he prematurely ejaculating? Is he not getting it up in the bedroom because he's got performance anxiety? Yeah, right. Is he insecure about his body in some way? Is he having trouble getting his girlfriend off? Like, doesn't know what to do? Is he having trouble leading in the bedroom? Is the— and then this is kind of where it does tie into like relationship dynamics. Is the dynamic in the relationship off where she's not respecting him? She's not happy with the sex? She doesn't see him as a sexy man, as her best option anymore? Yes. Okay, well, we can fix that in the bedroom dynamic. So it depends what the problem is for a guy. So the the first thing a guy needs to ask himself is, what do I need help with? Okay. And then he comes and he can consume my content. And there's basically a solution. I try to provide a solution for any question people have asked me. Okay. Yeah.

And so do you fill out like a questionnaire? I need, you know—

No, I have a bunch of different— Is it really one-on-one?

Like you just have a chat?

I have a bunch of different ebooks and different video courses that cater to those problems. And I also have a plethora of like free content on my YouTube channel. So basically— I've watched you. They're brilliant.

Yeah. Yeah. Really good. Yeah.

I mean, some of them are a little bit funny, but you have to make things entertaining. Exactly. Yeah. I do like calorie challenges and then say he doesn't actually eat like that. But I don't do one-on-one coaching like that. I did a little bit of it initially and then it kind of got back to the point of I value freedom over anything else. So to save myself, not just to save myself time, but to save a client time and money, like, you don't— he doesn't need to pay me like X hundreds of dollars or thousands of dollars per hour or whatever to do one-on-one session with me. Like, identify what your problem is, buddy, and the solution is right here. I've already provided this. Everything I'm going to get on a call with you and teach you is in that book there, or it's in that course right there. I've already done it. Save you time, save me time. Because that's— otherwise, a lot of people want to do like one-on-one coaching, purely— and I've noticed this— they purely are looking for permission. That's really all they're doing. They're asking, they want to sit down on a Zoom call with you and ask permission to do the things they already know they should be doing. Love that. Really? Yeah. It's like, well, okay, you already know this, so let's save you time and money, save me time, and just go straight to the solution. Yeah. I think that's better for both. It's more honest for both of us. Definitely.

And what is the most common problem that guys come to you with?

Honestly, it's probably the most common, broadly speaking, is probably how to be a more passionate dominant lover. That's kind of the thing that a lot of guys discover they're missing once they consume some of my material and they find gives them the most benefit, like the biggest bang for its buck is learning how to be the kind of lover that really inspires lust in a woman.

I love that. I love that inspires lust. It's kind of a beautiful way to put it.

It is. I think, well, sex is a beautiful thing. You know, and we get— I don't want to take like the feminist angle here of like, you know, people get— 90% a dude audience. I don't want anyone accusing me of being a feminist shill. Yeah, yeah. But okay, people get— we have hang-ups in our society about like sex and sexuality. Cool. And on a lot of reasons, there's a lot of reasons why that should be the case. Like people I do agree that you should, you know, we should stop people from being super degenerate as a society because it's not good for society as a whole. We already know that. It's evidently the case.

Weak men create bad times. Exactly.

But at the same time, there's a balance between— my problem personally is shaming men for having sexual desires and for wanting to have sex. And not giving them the tools to deal with that appropriately. You can't just run around telling men, "Oh, keep it in your pants. Keep it in your pants." Because that doesn't solve anything. No. The drive is still there. Okay, well, how do we use this in a positive way? Well, we use this in a positive way by telling men, "Okay, well, cool. You have this sexual desire. Cool. You have a beautiful partner over here." Here's how we keep that spark going in the bedroom with your wife, with your girlfriend, or whatever. And here's how we create a very sustainable, happy, long-term relationship with a correct dynamic in the bedroom that keeps you as the leader in the family, you as a leader in the bedroom. Probably those two things go hand in hand. Of course. And you're allowed to be in your masculine polarity, and she can naturally fall into a feminine submissive polarity, and magically everyone's happy. Yeah. We seem to have forgotten that. Yeah. But my problem typically go— and I'm going to be fair, this— I get a lot of flack from, uh, Christians online. Oh really? Despite that, like, I— if I was to sit down with your average Christian, I'd have more in common with them than an average porn star. I know.

I think, like, even from reading your tweets and everything, you're a very traditional man, you know. Obviously you had a crazy job prior, but like, you know, that's just— everyone has a past, not even a bad thing. I think you're very traditional, masculine.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm some virtue of Christian morality. I'm not Jehovah's Witness. Yeah. But I'm at least honest about it. Yeah. Okay. But the problem I at least see amongst Christian men is that they've been shamed for their sexual desires and they don't have a way of channeling it positively. And so what ends up happening is you get, especially in the West now, we have this really bad dynamic between men and women where women are becoming more masculine and men are becoming more feminized. Well, how do we revert that back to its natural way of being. And I think the bedroom is a great way of doing that. Wow. Because it's the last place men are allowed to be men. Yeah. You can actually be a man. Yeah. You can have a pair of balls, be a passionate guy, and women respond incredibly well to it. And they love it. They want that. And lo and behold, when you flip the dynamic on its head, you think you get things back in the bedroom working the correct way, the correct polarities, magically, oh, now she's not nagging. Yes. Now she wants to cook and clean for you again. I've literally had like Hundreds of men write exactly this to me, like, oh, I started becoming more— being more passionate and leading and being more dominant in the bedroom, and now the relationship is back. It's fixed.

It's so funny how we're animals, and it comes back to animalistic, simple behavior, you know. So, and so, how important do you think sex is in a relationship? People say communication, you know, chemistry, banter. Where do you think sex falls on that ranking? I think it's—

I mean, it's gotta be in the top 2 or 3.

Yeah, honestly, you know, me and Linda, we go, hey, if we didn't have sex, we'd just be friends, you know? It's like, you should be like one of the boys, like, that's it.

You know what, that's a really good point because I think a big problem that a lot of guys run into with a long-term relationship is what you would call the Madonna-whore complex. So men lust after the whore, but they want the Madonna to be the mother of their kids. To be their wife, to be their partner. And there's a point at the start of every relationship, there's the honeymoon period, right? And let's be honest, during the honeymoon period, like, the sex is amazing, it's passionate, but you are probably viewing her more in the— not trying to be degrading to anyone, but you're probably viewing her more in the whore mentality. You're viewing her as like a sexual object, right? Than you are viewing her as the Madonna. Yeah. And then as time goes by and you learn more about your partner, you love her more, you respect her more, Now she becomes less of a sexual object and she becomes more of a friend. She becomes more of a companion, a partner. Okay, well, that's fantastic, but we still want the passion. And when the passion dies, the relationship starts to die a little bit. Yes. So the problem that guys have is they have to try and find a balance here and correct. And I think it's natural for things to lean towards, like, to slide more towards the companionship side of things and the passion to die off. So you have to be, as a man, you have practically find ways to keep that spark there. And it's actually about keeping it in your own head. Yeah, holding frame, I think, is a term people use.

And so how do you keep a ratio passionate and fiery?

You have to be able to kind of see her as a sexual object again. Yeah. And realize it's not a derogatory thing. Yeah, oh, that's a compliment.

Yeah, like, people say they hear the word object or sexual and they're like, oh, you're "Ooh, you're such a man." It's like, "It's a compliment." I wish people saw me as a sexual object!

Please, guys, come on! Well, that's something. Women view men as success objects, and men view women as sex objects. This is— This has been known for quite a long time. Thousands of years, yeah. And it's only now that we're like, "Oh, that's misogynistic!" No, it's a compliment. You're not literally calling you an object. But you are— the reason that men and women interact with each other is because men want sex. Yeah, exactly. This is who we are. It's biology. It's primal. So, okay, how can a guy kind of try to keep that in his mind? He has to kind of part— in a way, has to kind of partition his brain a little bit between like, okay, this is my partner, and this is the— then this is my lover. Yeah. And that aspect of firing up the sort of the sexuality again. I personally think, I try to borrow a lot of stuff from like BDSM Dom/Sub dynamics personally, and some guys, a lot of guys relate. Not every guy relates to that, but a lot of guys kind of see where I'm coming from with this. If you can start to implement that, the masculine/feminine polarity again in the bedroom, the the primal lust stuff in a man, I think, starts to come out a bit more naturally when he's leading and in control and she's naturally being more submissive. That kind of inspires lust in men, I think, quite a lot. If you have a woman who's doting, like, let's be more graphic, literally begging for your cock, things like that, it's pretty hard for you to not get aroused. Exactly. When she's being so much in her feminine. And how do you do that? Well, you have to be more in your masculine. Yeah, I think, and I think that's, I think that's the way that we can spark that up again. Yeah, I've literally had people say that. I've literally had people say, oh, we've been in a 15-year marriage and we took some of this advice and it's like we are on our honeymoon phase again. Yeah, it does work. This stuff does work.

Yeah, and I love how you mentioned masculinity there. Like, what, what are your thoughts on people saying toxic masculinity these days? I don't even get it. I actually don't even understand what it means. I'm like That's like being like toxic good guy.

Like, I just don't get it.

Why are people saying this phrase so much? And what do you think?

It's just a buzzword for control. Yeah. That's all it is. Yeah. Any of these buzzwords that you find, like, these words have been overused too much now. Like toxic masculinity, racist, Nazi. Like everyone's a Nazi now. But all these things have been, these labels have been overused to the point where they don't mean mean anything now. And it's literally just a buzzword for, I disagree with you, therefore I hate you. Yeah. It's all it really is. Like, there's nothing—

it's a card that they draw. Yeah.

I mean, if you want to— if we really wanted to like actually try to make a definition out of that, toxic masculinity is really feminized men. That's what it actually is. It's needy men, right? It's supplicating men. It's men who have no drive and ambition. Right? It's weak men, men who are not protectors, men who are not providers. That's actually— That's toxic. Yeah. That's actually bad for society. Yeah. The polar opposite of this, which is what they would naturally label as toxic masculinity, a guy who is a protector, a provider, a leader in his community, a leader in his family, a guy who takes responsibility for his wife and kids and looks after them and, you know, is the head of the household. Oh, that's actually amazing for society as a whole. And amazing for the family unit, but that's toxic apparently.

Yeah, yeah. I remember just, you mentioned neediness, love that. I was in a 6-year relationship a few years back, and then, so when I was about, we broke up when I was about maybe 25. Then it was like my first time being single, okay? And I didn't have a clue what to do with dating or anything. I was thrown into this world. So of course I go to YouTube, okay? Started watching a lot of like dating coaches, guys like, you know, Tyler or SD, all these OGs, and really like, like good information of just how to live a better life. But the one thing that I took away from that, and it changed the game for me, is the most unattractive thing a man could be is needy and desperate. Yeah, that, that is the number one. And I was that because the second I got out of this relationship, I go, I need to sleep with someone, I need to get with someone else. And chicks were repulsed. And as soon as I withdrew, I said, look, screwed it, I'm just going to focus on making as much money as possible, giving myself as much freedom as possible so I can fly around the world and, you know, go to these places, getting as jacked as possible, getting as healthy as possible, and I'm not going to be hitting up girls in the DMs, I'm not going to chase for a year or two. That's when things completely change. So what do you think guys are doing wrong when it comes to dating and attracting girls?

I look at it now, especially with online stuff, there's so much of it online now with all the dating apps and even things like Instagram is really dating apps. It's a dating app. Let's be honest, it's a dating app.

Yeah, um, can't believe everyone can buy a blue tick now.

God damn it, I'm useless. Well, I can't because it's not my real name. Oh no way. So I can't, I can't even get— I can't even— I, I couldn't get the old one because they kept rejecting me, the old one, and now I can't even get the easy one. You're done, you're done, you're done without your blue. What's the point? Yeah, yeah, but I look at, I look at dating now as is like product and marketing. Prior to like the internet, you really only had to focus on the product. The product is you, right? Am I jacked? Am I charming? Am I, you know, making money? Whatever. Am I connected? Have a network? That's the product. It's who you are as a person, right? But now we have to focus on marketing too, because we have to— if you can have the best product in the world, but if no one sees it, well, it doesn't exist. Yeah, exactly. So how do we market ourselves online now is a big problem that a lot of guys have to solve. And 90% of that is just having a friend who's really good at taking photos. Oh my gosh. Honestly, that's most of it. Yeah. Fucking hell. Knowing how to take— taking a few days to sit down and study photos as a guy and learning how to pose, learning how to control your hands, learning how to control your facial expressions. Your eyes, like learning how to smile properly, like little things. You can— if you have a good friend who's a good photographer, you can fix this in like a weekend and you will go from like a 4 to like an 8. Goddamn.

And so is this on dating apps and social media?

I think that's primarily dating apps and social media.

Yeah. And so do you think dating apps have had a net positive effect on society or net negative?

Negative. Yes. I'd say Instagram has had a net negative effect on society. For sure. Absolutely. Like, yeah, a lot of people now are meeting their partner or meeting their, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever, primarily through dating apps. Yeah, it's the most common way. But it's, it's great for a guy like me. Yeah, I'm not complaining about it because it's fine for me. Definitely. But as a whole, and I know because I have a lot of men who follow me online who are not having sex right now, are not in a date. I literally did a poll on my YouTube a few days ago. Something like 45— I think there's about 22,000 people responded to the poll. About 45% have not had sex in the last 6 to 12 months.

I was like, surely he's about to say 6 to 12 weeks. It's 6 to 12 months.

45% haven't had sex. And about— what was it about? Took a photo of it the other day. It was 45— I don't want to get the numbers wrong. Yeah. It's on my— you can find it. It's on my community post on my YouTube, but you can see the other two They'll do numbers. But yeah, that's like, yeah, almost half of the male population. And my demographic is like 25 to 35.

That's what I was also going to say. Like, the people that would watch your content wouldn't be like— they'd be outgoing guys who want to improve. So I think the percentage is actually even lower. Yeah, I think it's actually lower. And so how do we fix this?

Yeah, it's, uh, well, they gotta learn how to sell their product a bit better. Yeah, right. And a lot of guys will sit there and beat themselves up and like, oh, it's okay for you, you're tall. It's okay for you, you're handsome. It's okay for you, you're jacked. All this sort of stuff. They'll make excuses for why they are not having results. It's like, okay, well, if I honestly— ask yourself this question. If I hadn't had sex in 6 to 12 months, I would solve that problem. I would want to solve that problem. I wouldn't sit around moping and making excuses. To keep the problem from happening again and again. Yeah. That's just my attitude. To me, that seems like a rational solution. Like, oh, this is frustrating. I haven't had my dick sucked in 6 months. Gee, what should I do? Complain more. That's what I should do. I should whinge more. No, I saw the best quote. I think it was Tate or somebody.

He goes, look in the mirror, would you fuck you?

It's so true. Like, that's just When you gotta ask. And I think I saw her, I saw a tweet recently from a woman and she nailed it on the head. She was like, she said it was, she was making a comment about like good-looking guys versus like average guys. And she said the reason why good-looking guys, women enjoy spending time with them, it's not because they're good-looking. It's because they don't have any hang-ups and resentment and bitterness towards women. Wow. That is really accurate. Holy shit. Yeah. She's so spot on with that. Because the average guy has unfortunately had a lot of negative experiences with women. And I'm not saying that this is the men's fault. Women are also partly responsible because of the way that they— like, an average guy, the way a woman will be ruthless, ruthless to the average guy. Break his heart, treat him like a piece of shit, take advantage of him financially, take advantage of his time, take advantage of his energy, string him along for months to years at a time. Dangling the prospect of pussy in front of him and not giving him anything, is put him in the friend zone. Yeah, okay, that is really bad. That sucks. And that's the dark side of female nature and female behavior. Okay, you have to understand, but the answer to that is not to get resentful and bitter towards women. That's not the answer. That's like me getting resentful and bitter towards a tiger for wanting to eat me. Yeah, seriously. Like Oh, you shouldn't be like that, tiger. You should be—

Yeah, yeah, be nicer.

Come on. Like, no, that's— it's nature. It's idiotic of me to try and change the nature of a tiger in the same way that it is idiotic of me to try to change female nature. Instead, I will operate within the rules that the world has given me. This is how the world actually works. And I think a lot of us were brought up and raised with a wrong impression of the world. We were brought up with an incorrect blueprint for how women actually behave and what women respond to. So think of like sitcoms like Friends. What does that teach you? It teaches you, oh, if I'm the doting, bumbling idiot for long enough, for long enough, eventually I get the hot blonde. No, you don't, motherfucker. You don't. That's not what works. That's not what happens. So that's just one example, right? I think Disney movies are to blame for this too. Yep, for sure. Hallmark romantic comedies. All this shit. It's all factually incorrect. It's like the opposite, right? It's like the polar opposite. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, and that would explain why you have a giant percentage of the male population who is somewhat resentful and bitter towards women, because they have been told their whole life, oh, women are supposed to be this way. 'But they're not. What's going on?' Well, I'll tell you what's going on. Your worldview is incorrect. Exactly. So fix the worldview. Don't have the hang-ups and the resentments and the bitterness towards women. Understand that, again, that's just their nature. Cool. What can we do to fix it? If your dick hasn't been sucked in 6 months, fix the marketing problem. And probably the product.

Yeah, exactly. Don't try to change the game learn how to play the game. Yeah. And so tell me a little bit about more of your past relationships. When is the last time you've been in a long-term relationship, and how did it go?

Yeah, I mean, I, I have recently been in a couple of simultaneous long-term relationships. A couple of those ended recently though. Okay. Um, I'm at the point right now where I'm looking to have kids. Yeah. What age are you? I'm 36. Okay, nice. Yeah. Um, I think I'm a bit late, to be honest. I need to— and, and It's sad and it's good in the same way. Like, I'm sad that I don't have kids yet, but I'm glad that I waited until I was in the financial position I'm in now to have kids. Exactly. Because now I am able to take care of multiple families. Yeah. No problem whatsoever. And I intend to. But for me now, I'm vetting primarily— I'm actually vetting for being anti— like, non-vaxxed. Yeah. Not vaxxed with COVID Yeah. That's actually the biggest— it's literally the first thing on my dating profile. Yeah, yeah. I won't date you. Literally won't date you. And unfortunately, I've had a couple— There's so much stuff coming out about that right now.

This week. Particularly this week. Jamie Foxx. Yeah. That's—

Paralyzed and blind. What the fuck? That's crazy stuff. I saw a tweet yesterday. The EU just put out something discouraging people from taking the vax because it was causing miscarriages and infertility in women. Oh my God. Yeah. And all— I cannot think of a more selfish thing to do than the women who took the vax so they could travel and find themself and get dicked down on a beach in fucking Tulum. You have just compromised your genetics for the entire of the rest of your genetic— like, if you can even have a fucking kid. You've just compromised the genetics of your bloodline. For what? So I could travel and find myself. Like, just wait, wait, like, too much. Could you possibly be like— I'm angry.

I know, bro. So, you know, on the, on the travel thing, right? So, um, me and my girlfriend, we were in Marbella at the time. We moved here in like 2021, and so we could, you know, we didn't have a Spanish citizenship at that time, so we couldn't get it. And, you know, then everyone in Ireland was like 'You should get—

come back and get it.' It was the strangest times.

But either way, we couldn't get it. And then, so then I was like, 'Oh, I won't be able to travel and all this.' 2 months later, they're like, 'Oh, no worries.' So 2 months, all you do is wait like 2 months and, you know, you didn't have to do something you don't want to do. It was crazy.

I traveled for like 6 months without a Vax. Yeah, no problems. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, yeah, like, and I saw the wink, but yeah, yeah, it was a bit of that going on. But, but you know what, I never had I never had to use it. Yeah. I never had to use my cert. Yeah. Not once. You'd be surprised. The only time I ever had to actually use it was when I went back to Australia just now. This Christmas I just went back to Australia when I opened everything up.

Oh, wow.

That's the only time in the last 3 years I've had to show a cert.

Well, that was one of the worst lockdowns in the world. It was horrible. It's a prison island. That's where all the Irish are there because it was a prison 100 years ago.

And I went back for Christmas, and I was disgusted at how people were not burning down Parliament. Oh, seriously? How can you let them block you in your house for 2 years?

I think Melbourne particularly was the worst in the world. It's horrible. I can't— do you know what? So what they'll do is— And they'll—

it's like Stockholm syndrome. They'll sit there and justify it to you. Thank you! What?

Absolutely wild. Marbella was actually— so I was living in London for all of 2020, right, which again was locked down quite badly. Gyms opening, closing, which I can't work, you know, can't do anything. Ireland was the same. So my lease ended on January 1st, 2021, and I said, where in Europe can I go that has open gyms, amazing weather, in the EU, like a 2-hour flight away? And I just end up coming here. I booked an Airbnb for a month, and I ended up buying a villa here. Like, it literally— there, this was— handled it well. Like, it stayed open pretty much the whole thing.

You know why? Because there's rich people here. Yeah, yes, yes.

And if you notice, there's like no homeless, you know, there's no like woke people. It's a good place.

Gee, it's crazy how like the rules suddenly change when everyone's wealthy. Exactly. Oh, it's so funny.

And Joe, it was a good time as well because so I moved here and the only thing that was closed or they closed early was nightclubs, which was great because I was fucking focused. And so I moved here, you know, and I was really productive and got so much shit done. You know, my income went up because I was simply working harder. I was taking like better content in the sun. I was meeting more people. And then I was like, oh, this is a place for me.

But what made you move here to Marbella? Actually, I didn't even ask you. What made me move here? The network of friends I've got here. Yep. That was one of the big ones. I wanted— I've wanted to live in Europe for so long. Yeah. Because of the network I have here, there was an easy like Solution for residency. Yeah. Yeah, and I like it's healthy. Yes. I like the healthy gym exercising kind of culture here.

Yeah, bro, I did a prep here, like a competition prep here. Like, it's the way where you get in the best shape of your life. And I've been coming here like pretty much all my life. I used to work in a bar in the port when I was like 18. Sky Bar, the worst one. Sorry to anyone who works in Sky Bar.

Sorry from the bottom of my heart. I still haven't been to Sky Bar. Now I'm gonna check it out. Don't go.

But so you can come here, you can get like wasted, and you know, you can see like hen parties falling all over the place, or you can have a really classy time. You can go out to dinner, you can hit the gyms, you know, hike La Concha, go to beach. I go to— even in the winter, I swim the sea every day. And salt water, the sun, it's the sea, your brain, it's good for the brain, man.

All this is healthy for you. Yeah, yeah, everything. And I like you said that because you can spend like— there's 4 months of the year which is just party time. Crazy. But the rest of the year it's actually like a small beach town. Yeah, seriously, it's actually perfect. Yeah, you can do the vast majority of your year being healthy and productive, and then okay, if you want to be degenerate for 4 months, you can.

Yeah, and I do. You don't have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. Yeah.

And I'm not even that— I'm not really a partying guy that much. Yeah, I do like the beach clubs here and there. That's cool fun. Yeah. What's your favorite? I actually like La Sala by the Sea. Oh nice. Yeah, yeah. Here's why. It's small. Yeah. I'm going to introduce you to something very important. It's called cats in a bag theory. Sounds like chaos. Okay, cats in a bag theory. My buddy introduced me to this concept back in college. So let's say, okay, let's say I have 12 cats and I release them into this room. It's going to be pretty boring. Yeah. It's going to mingle around, do their thing. If I take those same 12 cats and I put them in a Hessian bag, just wait for the party to start. It's about like the more confined, the more people you can pack into a smaller space, the better the party. Yeah. And that's La Salva. That's very—

it is, it's like a little small circle. Yeah, I haven't gone there yet this summer, but I went there last summer.

I walk past it every day to get to Padell. Ah, yes. Yeah, I love that walk. So I like— that's again, that's my other thing. I like to be able to— I moved here as well so I can walk to everything. Yeah. I can walk to my gym, I can walk to Corte Inglés, I can go to shopping mall, I can walk to anything I want. Yeah. About 4 steakhouses within walking distance of my house. Excellent. Yeah. Like, I like walkable cities. That's what I like about Europe in general. America is not— the cities aren't walkable. They're not walking friendly. So there's— that's one of the other things that made me want to move out here. I want to do a lot of driving around Europe. I've got my car coming in 4 weeks. Yes. So that's going to be like— that's something I've wanted to do for quite a long time. And my father— I'm actually meeting my father in Dublin in July. We're there for like a week doing a family reunion, and then he's coming back to Marbella with me, and we're driving from Marbella to Italy and doing like the Amalfi Coast.

Oh no, I'm going to Amalfi in August. Yeah, yeah, yeah, can't wait. We're gonna miss each other. Yeah, yeah, but probably for the best. Be chaos. But if you need any tips on Dublin, if you need gyms or anything to go to, please, please just hit me up. But yeah, no, it's such a good, good to have you here. Like, I didn't even realize— I knew you would you were here with like Luke and Tate or something, and— but I didn't know you actually lived here.

I only moved here about probably 9 weeks ago. Yeah, so I'm still kind of— but I actually— so I gave this city a trial run in October last year because I was here for 2 months, uh, doing a fight camp. Okay. So I trained for 8 weeks to prep for my first amateur boxing match, which we did, which we then did in Prague. Um, yeah, so I kind of— I was here in monk mode for like 2 months doing that. Yeah, and I guess I got to see how, like, what the city's like. Yeah, I'm not partying, just to live here. I'm like, I like this.

Yeah, October is a great time, like anything. So I'm actually like leaving in August. I'm going back to Ireland and the Amalfi Coast because August is obviously just insane here. The best times are actually like, you know, September, October, just post-summer. Yeah, yeah. And so what's your like daily routine looking like at the moment? Like, what is even— what is like your main kind of work of the day, like your work block?

I mean, most of my work consists of either, like, scripting content, like, is in coming up with ideas for content and researching content. So if I— so, like, lately I'm trying to put out a lot more health-related content. That's the way to be. So talking about hormones, talking about testosterone, talking about microplastics in your blood, things— all these kinds of, like, holistic, obscure kind of health topics that I find genuinely interesting. I'm trying to educate my audience on. So, but I also want to make sure I have the correct information and I do my research. We have the correct journal articles to back up the research we're talking about. Nice. So there's a bit of research involved in that. Then obviously filming all that content. And at the moment, like, product creation is one of my biggest things. I'm trying to come out with a few new products. I'm trying to build a— one of the big projects we've got is like kind of like a sexual academy. Nice. Physical academy that people go to. Like university campus. I kind of want like, I want I kind of want like a one-stop shop for all things relating to sex because I want a guy to be able to go onto my platform and be able to find the answer to any question he could possibly have about sex. Anything. And I will have the answer there. And that's kind of my big vision is to build that out this year. So I'm working towards a lot of that. But basically, how's the day structured? It's supposed to be, yeah, wake up, work in the morning. I only eat once a day. Yeah, I work through. I typically hit the gym about 5 in the afternoon, come back, and then have— I'll either have— go on a date with a pretty young lady and have a— have dinner, or I'll go by myself and have dinner. I actually don't cook at all. Oh yeah, I love eating.

That's one thing. So when I was on prep, I had to cook everything so you know what you're eating, and I missed eating out so much. Like, I love the whole experience of like getting served your food, cleaned up afterwards, you know, the people watching, everything. Like, I I love the whole experience. And you order steak and veggies wherever the fuck you go. Like, it's like, you don't have to be that bad.

I can order really good lamb rack here. You can't really get lamb in America.

Yeah, yeah, the meat can be a bit strange. The meat is trash.

Yeah, it's like cardboard. Yeah, but here, like, I already know, like, the healthy menu options on so many of the different restaurants. I already know what I'm— I can go to anywhere in the port, I know what I'm eating. Yeah, go to Origin Asador.

Okay, it's a steakhouse kind of like near the Old Town. It's the best steak I've had here. It's absolutely insane. And so tell me, right, what is the dating scene like in Marbella? Because you mentioned going out with a pretty girl.

It's different here because it's not actually that— it's kind of like bringing sand to the beach here. There's not many locals.

Yes, it's an international community.

It's an English-speaking place, but it's very transitory. Yeah. So, the dating pool locally here is actually kind of limited. I'm fortunate I've found a few very nice ladies too that I, you know, there's potential there, which is nice. But part of the reason that I wanted to live on European soil is also actually so I could date European women. Primarily Irish and German and English women because that's who I'm looking to have kids with because I'm Irish, German, English ancestry. Yeah. I want to kind of, I want to keep that. Keep it in line. Yeah, I do actually. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, for me it's actually important. So I want, that's the, those are the women I want to kind of have kids with. Yeah, absolutely. Obviously I'll consider Eastern European as well. Yeah, just because they're good stock.

Good morals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, old school.

But that's kind of like, I don't know, that was one of the main motivations for me moving out here too, is like I want to find, and so, so when I'm on dating apps sometimes I'm actually, I'm actually dropping my pin and, and places like Dublin, places like Munich. I'm actually dropping my— Manchester. I'm dropping my pin in a lot of places, right, to try and find women who are— because my criteria is really difficult. Yeah, it really— like, starting with unvaxxed is a very big—

yeah, so some people go crazy at that, you know, 2% of the population.

Yeah, so I'm culling really, really hard, but I only need to find like a couple. Yeah, exactly.

And then, and if they're unvaxxed, like you said, they'll probably share a lot of beliefs anyways, you know. A lot lines up.

Yeah, with that one thing, a lot of the dominoes fall into place, you know. Like, they're more likely to be distrusting of government. Yeah, right. Yeah, right there. Yeah, a little bit more libertarian. Yeah, excellent. Cool. Oh, you want to— you want a homestead? Yeah, let's go. That's my other plan, is to get big, uh, me and a couple of friends are talking about getting a big plot of land near each other, like getting a couple of big plots of land near each other. Yeah. And basically setting up a self-sufficient homestead. That's the dream, isn't it? On European soil.

And you're going to bring some of these nice ladies to the event this weekend?

Oh, there's actually one lady who I'm probably going to bring Saturday. Absolutely perfect. Yeah, it's going to be amazing. I was actually going to ask you that off camera, but okay, cool. Yeah, yeah.

Oh no, no, seriously, like bring as much chicks as you want. It'd be pretty lame if there's 60 dudes on a yacht. But here, bro, tell me, where can the people find you? Um, that, that was like— I'm like, just bring this energy to the event this weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, thank you for inviting me.

Oh yeah, no, see, it's perfect fit.

Like, seriously. Yeah, because I looked at the lineup and I'm like, oh man, ah, these guys are cool. Oh, I know. And I said, I'm the least jacked guy on the lineup. I'm a fat piece of shit. Yeah. Except for Luke. Luke is a fat piece of shit.

Yeah, well, he can kick our ass, so—

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Luke. I'm just joking. Where can you guys find me? SterlingCooper.com. My name is spelled S-T-I-R-L-I-N-G. That's my website. You can find all my products, or you can find the links to my socials and stuff. That's the one-stop shop. If you want to find my free content, go onto YouTube. Just type in Sterling Cooper. I'm the first one that comes up. Go onto my page. Easiest way is go through my playlists. I basically try to hit all the major pain points in my playlists. I've got like 1,000 videos now on YouTube. I didn't realize that happened like the other day. That's wild. It's a lot. So yeah, if you have a problem, it's probably on there. Yeah, yeah. I have some kind of a solution for it. My Instagram is backwards. It's @cooperstirling.

Yeah, because some prick took it. Another fake name.

Every single day I get There's some scammer who's on the internet now. He does the same. He makes copies of my profile, makes copies of like Justin's, Luke's, like all my friends. He's a dickhead. Yeah, well, invite him to the event.

We'll kick his ass.

Yeah, I wish. And then my Twitter is @SterlingWisdom, and you can see some of my musings on there as well.

Yeah, I love your Twitter. That's my favorite account that you have. Yeah, it's awesome. Thank you very much. But here, bro, absolutely smashed it today. Honestly, well done.

Thank you. Put it there. Seriously.