MRP Q & A with Anna Lisa - Embrace Imperfection & Grow with Self-Compassion [Feb 14, 2025]

Welcome, Michelle. We're just gonna wait till we have everyone join.

Thank you, Anneliese. This is my. I haven't received. I just joined. So I'm here more to listen as a fly on the wall in the background. I might keep my video this first time.

That's fine. Absolutely. What we're. If this is your first time coming, what we normally do is we're gonna go through a little bit of a meditation or we're going to do a celebration of everybody's wins for the week. So think about that, what you might be wanting to celebrate. And then I'm going to go into a little bit of teaching and at the end we'll have Q and A. So don't be afraid to ask questions. If you don't want to be on camera, you can just put it in the chat and I will catch them there too. Great.

Thank you, Annelies.

You're welcome. Glad to see you here. Hi, Shelley, how are you? I'm well. How are you? Good, thank you. We're just gonna wait a few minutes as everybody starts to join and think about your win for the week. We're gonna celebrate those. Idea. Hi, Mary. Glad to see you guys. Glad you're joining. We'll just wait a few minutes, keep thinking about or think about your wins for the week. We always want to celebrate each other for what we've accomplished and it's important for us as well to become that kind of person who celebrates our own wins as well. So glad you're here. You look great, Mary. Love your hair.

Thanks.

It started shortly as everybody joins in. I'll just give a couple of minutes. So again, just keep thinking about your wins. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Today's topic is going to be about love, focusing on our self love and our relationships. We're going to have some fun celebrating showing up today to get back on track.

Yay, Deanne.

Way to go, girl. We're excited to have you on. Why don't we go ahead while we're waiting for everyone to join is to just focus on the people that are here. So as far as your wins for the week, Shelly, what would be your win for the week?

Well, you know what, I'm really happy to say that for the first time and this is more than a week. So on my sleep score, I got 86 and I had for the very first time, my deep sleep was like an hour and 15 minutes, which is a big hooray for me.

Congratulations. That's exciting. That's really exciting.

As it's Been my deep sleep has gone from like six minutes as the low. So I've been really struggling in that department. So this morning when I woke up and I kind of knew it because I felt pretty rested. So my REM and my deep sleep were like top notch. So that was. Yeah. I think over the period of. From when I started.

Yes.

Receiving that today on Happy Love Day is a beautiful thing.

Yes, for sure. That's amazing. And your deep sleep is when your brain gets a washing. Right?

Absolutely.

Yeah. And if you don't get that sleep that makes it so much harder the next day. We crave things. We have hunger like just is more difficult for us to manage and I.

Really noticed that because yesterday, because the night before I only had about total 5 hours of sleep. Even though I'm going to bed at 10 o' clock at night and waking up at 6 yesterday I, I really struggled. I had a, I had a tough day just with everything that you're saying, like I, I wanted something cozy to eat.

Yes, yes. Well, we crave. Right. We'll crave sugar and salt.

Yeah, right.

Whichever one is our favorite, we want to go to those things. So. Yeah. Congratulations. Sleep is the most important for recovery. That's when your body heals too. So you need that process. Congratulations. Thank you. Barry says I crave salt. Yeah, me too. That's also an indication of adrenals and. Right. Because we're in that fight or flight and we want to make. Right. The salt will help us with that process. So that's another reason why we can crave that chocolate. Yeah, yeah, me too. I like but I really go for that dark chocolate, so.

Yeah, well, I had some, so.

Yeah. Mary, what's your celebration for the week?

Well, I haven't been on the call for a while and I really just last week I, I logged my food for the full week.

Oh, good.

So for me that's a win. I found I got a little bit off track and no excuses, but I do really find for me logging food just really helps me. It helps with accountability and it just makes me feel good.

Yeah.

Because I can really see what I'm eating. So I am. My plan is to start the program. Well this weekend I'm going to start with the. All the calories and then next week I'll be on the.

The program. Good job, Mary. That's awesome. Congratulations for making that decision. It's not easy to make that decision to go forward. Right. So good job.

And I just want to say like I'm so appreciative of this community, that this community is here like I know on Fridays, you know, at it's one my time that I just have people that I can reach out to that share the same experiences that I'm having. It means a lot.

Yeah, amazing. And we're so glad you're here because staying connected is what helps us keep accountable and helps us accomplish the goals that we want to. Right. If we're. All we're trying to do is elevate or lift each other up so that we can accomplish what we need to. So glad you're here. And Michelle put hers in. We already talked about hers showing up today and on back on track and then for who did I miss? Mary D. That was Deanne, Michelle. Hi to everyone. Congrats, Shelley. Amazing. So did you want to share your win, Michelle? I know you're just getting started. That could be your win.

That is my win. That is my win. Hi everyone. It's my first time and I'm a little bit mobile right now, so I'm not on camera but. But yeah, I'm glad to be here and nice to see everyone and I am excited about the journey.

Awesome. Well, welcome. So today we're going to start with a meditation. It's with a lady. Her name is Sarah Blondin. I've done this one before for anybody who's attended previously, but it's. I love hers because it's the uplifting of the heart. So I thought it was appropriate for today being Valentine's Day. So yeah, let me just share my screen like that and then we'll get started with that.

Hi, I'm Sarah Blondin and I am the author of Heart how to Hold Yourself and Others in Love. Most of us have a kind of challenging relationship with our oops, sorry feelings and we're most often kind of stuffing them down or ignoring them or letting them make all their noise and never really addressing them. And a really easy practice that I use for feelings instead of getting caught in identifying with them, we're just going to learn to let them go. So we're just going to begin by bringing our eyes to a close and getting really comfortable in our bodies. Deep inhale long exhale out the mouth. And I want you to see if you can blur the edges of your physical body. And imagine turning into this great wide ocean. And there's ruby colored coral in your sand. And there's fish all around. And everything is at deep peace. Feelings are not us. They are not who we are. They are trapped memories of hurt. They are trapped Identities, old stories, habitual ways of thinking. But we are the ocean and we are alive. And I want you to imagine a bubble rising up from the shifting sand of the bottom of the ocean. And as the bubble rises, I want you to maybe name a feeling, even a thought or an old memory that is no longer serving you or that you'd like to let go of. And just watch that feeling rise to the surface of the ocean. And watch it pop and enter back in the air. And you can do this for as long or as little as you need, just naming any feelings that rise up within your water, Maybe even bringing a soft smile to your face as you watch these things leave you. They are not you. They are but passing wind. They are but bursting bubbles of grace. Our feelings are not punitive. They're not meant to be wished away or to feel shameful about. They're there just to be let go of. You can open your eyes once your waters feel a little more calm. Thank you.

Always love doing hers. And it's a quick one. So you can do it, you know, very quickly, just to reset, get grounded, and to start thinking about what are those beliefs that we have. Often we will carry certain things into our life over time. And part of the process of what we're learning is what are those things that keep holding us back and how do we move forward? So today we're going to be talking about. Hello.

Hello.

Hi. Sorry. Oh, that's okay. So today we're going to be talking about Cupid's arrow of self love. So let me just again share my screen. Share. So when we talk about the things that we're going through, I want to focus on self compassion today because often as we're going through different things in our life, we don't sometimes share, share or love ourselves. And we can issues and things can happen as a result. So I really want us to embrace the imperfection even as we're going through the program. Often what can happen or our motto as we're going through the program is really focused around progress over perfection. When we, when we mess up, what do we say to ourselves? Right. That's often an indication of trying to help us to understand that we need to be more positive and give ourselves permission to make mistakes. Often in school you're taught that it's either a pass or a fail. And what I want you to think about is we are failing our way to success. When we first start the program, we don't have a clue often of all the pieces and we're just Trying to put it all together and make it work and we might mess up. That's okay, just get back on track. And that's keep moving forward is the focus as we move forward. So I read a book by John Maxwell, it's on self compassion. And in there he had a quote from Carl Sandberg and it said, there is an eagle in me that wants to soar and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud. I don't know if you've ever been there, but I'm sure we go through both, right? Sometimes with the eagle we're soaring, we feel great. And then other times we are the hippo where we're in the mud. And often when we're the eagle, we can. It will encourage us to ride high. But we can treat others differently when we're the eagle versus the hippo. And it can make us judge others by their results because we're getting results and we're seeing them. They may be at their lowest point and often we can give the benefit of the doubt to ourselves because we're accomplishing and not to them. So how do you think about yourself and others? Do you often think if another person is slow or taking a long time to do something that they're lazy? If someone gets ahead, do you think they're just lucky? Or do you think that they're smart and hardworking? Understanding where we are can remind us to remember that we all have hippos inside of us. And sometimes we're wallowing in the mud and in relationships we need. If I acknowledge someone else that they're in the mud, that allows me to see others shortcomings as I see my own, my failures and I see their failures that are similar to mine. And my poor attitude is no better or worse than anybody else's. We are less to judge and give them a hand and give them grace rather than being critical on them. Here are four kinds of things that can happen in our relationship between how I treat myself and how I treat others. We could be a cynic where we judge ourselves and others harshly. So we're both. It's what we're saying to ourselves that can affect it. Or we can be the doormat. We judge ourself harshly with the words that we say we but we can give grace to others and allow them to take advantage of us. Or we could be a narcissist where we give grace to ourselves, but we judge others harshly. But what I want to encourage you is to really get to that humanness point where you give grace to yourself and others and allows you to recognize the humanness. We can be an eagle or a hippo and we're all at our own stage on our own journey. So celebrating each other no matter where we are I think is important. And knowing that I am flawed, you are flawed and we're no worse than any other which allows us to create common ground with each other. And Christian Neff says self compassion is a proven path to be compassionate with yourself. So how can you acknowledge your humanness without discouragement? So let's talk about these things and what I'd like you to think about is how can you take one of these things that you want to focus on maybe for the next week and then after that pick a different one. But focusing on how do you integrate habits in your life on a daily basis that can help you get to the self compassion every day. So five things to build your self compassion. So the first is how do you see yourself? Focus on developing self awareness, celebrating your strengths, understanding what your weaknesses are. We all have them and that's why often I'll talk about the personalities. That's why we're usually attracted to someone who has our weaknesses as their strengths. And then we need to celebrate that. But understanding your what your values are, how your feelings and how you affect the others around you. So if that's something you want to work on this week, pay attention to those things. Write down what your strengths are and your weaknesses. Write down how and be perceptive as to how you're impacting others around you. It'll help you become more confident, more creative and build better relationships. Three obstacles that can get into your way is power, pride and lack of humility. It's hard to learn when you know everything. That's having your own power. But be open to listening and understanding from someone else who maybe is ahead of you and can teach you something. It's hard to learn if you are feeding your ego. You will inflate your own strengths. But focus on embracing your humility as a sign of confidence. Care for yourself. Number two. This is all about practicing self compassion. Treat others with the same kindness and compassion you would treat another. Be your own best friend. Don't expect to always be the eagle flying high because sometimes we're just wallowing in the mud. Ask what questions versus why questions? Why Questions can lead us down unproductive and negative thoughts. When we ask why and don't know why, we make things up to understand our feelings. Asking what questions can really help us to be future focused and action oriented in launching us into if we are in the why, then that's going to launch us into why did I fail? Rather than asking what went wrong, what went right? What can I do next time differently? So focus on the what rather than the why. Third is to forgive yourself. Perfectionism is about measuring against an unrealistic set of standards. The solution is to let go of that by forgiving yourself for your shortcomings. That will help you also to reduce your internal stress. Four is laugh at yourself. Spend time. You know, often when we go through a situation, it's hard, but the further away we get from that situation, we can laugh at ourselves. It helps us to build trust with others when we focus on, you know, the things we aren't doing. Because everybody has the same issues. We all have moments where we can take ourselves too seriously. And the best way is to combat that is just to laugh. A laugh releases dopamine, it increases our blood flow, it helps to strengthen our heart. It increases our optimism and boosts our resilience and allows to thrive in adversity. It leads to a greater well being. So focus on, you know, just laughing. Find things that make you laugh. I don't know, some people like cats and they find all these different cat things and they'll laugh at those. And the last is to believe in yourself. Always be learning. We're making mistakes all the time, but that's the way we're going to get to success. Just learn from them. And I really, really this week focus on giving yourself grace and acceptance for not only yourself, but and for others. None of us want to be judged on our worst days. We already know we're having a bad day. We don't need someone to tell us that we're having a bad day. So the only saving grace is really just do better tomorrow. That's all we can do. It's progress over perfection. So our life is always determined by our relationships and how they impact us. So in your modules you have a module that talks about the disc. You can actually do the test, which is amazing and figure out which one you are. And I love how Dr. Rome, he wrote the book Personality Profiles Explained. So on the left of the chart is task oriented. On the right of the chart is people oriented. On the top of the chart is outgoing and on the bottom of the chart is reserved. What he says is figure out who you are. If you're outgoing and people oriented, you're an eye that's an inspiring, you're full of energy. You're excited people you know, you want to be liked by others. You are the life of the party. You're the fun. That's why people like to invite you to events, because you bring the fun in that case, he says. So understand who you are. Understand your relationship with each one. Whether you're the D, that's the driver who's really focused on results. You're all about the task versus an I, that's all about the people. Similarly with the C, figure out your relationship with a C, usually the diametrically opposed ones. So an I versus a C is the hardest relationship from dealing with that. Similarly, a D and an S in the instant can also have difficulties in relationships. But Normally in relationships, 80% of the issues are between task and people versus outgoing and reserved. So understanding how people work here is really key. And knowing which one you are, knowing your relationships with each of them, and then also how you shift to the middle to be any one of them to build rapport. When you're working with someone, right, or talking to someone, if you're an I and you're working with a C, you need to move to the C to build a better relationship and build better rapport. You don't have to stay there, but you just need to know. You know, sometimes dealing with bosses at work, they are often Ds. So knowing that if you're an S, you have to know how to deal with them in those relationships. Also, the other key one, you can do the five love languages test. This was so key for me in understanding my husband. He has different love languages than mine and often we can love in our love language. And if we don't love in their love language, they don't feel loved. And his is touch. He loves a hug and a kiss every morning and that's important to him. I often don't think about that because that not is that that isn't my top love language. So getting to know which one is yours, understanding which are your husband's or your, your mate partner and then your children is also important. My son is his is time. And my husband, if he didn't spend time with him, it was a bear to look after him. And just by my husband spending time with him changed his whole behavior because he knew he was loved. So it's that process that we go through in understanding these. So check this out in your modules and then I think there's a link to the test that you can take so that you can totally understand what you are and then really, really focus on your family and what that that whole process of understanding will increase and be able to help you with your relationships. So let's talk about kind of steps you can go through. So establishing your daily direction towards your goal is really important. Imagining your outcome. So if you decide that see yourself as one, you know your strengths, your weaknesses and things you want to understand, then set the goal for this week to do that. What stories are you telling yourself about that when you look at your strengths and your weakness to your values and things like that, what stories are you telling yourself that's holding you back? And then create a shift by creating a different meaning or a positive meaning to maybe some of the experiences that you've had in your past. So you change the story that you're telling yourself to a positive one. People who feel good about themselves. Oh, I have an error there. Sorry. People who feel good about themselves are most likely to implement the healthy actions and live longer and healthier. So it's creating that. Laugh at yourself for the things you're going through. And I always say celebrate, celebrate those daily wins because that's what's going to help you increase your happiness. Give yourself credit for what you're doing, even if it's a small win. Right. Sometimes we want, we're waiting for that big win to celebrate. Just do the little ones and that will just help you accomplish more as you're going forward because you feel good about what you're doing. Work smarter, not harder. Find ways from a health perspective to habit stack as an example. We're 1%. That's why I say there's. I gave you kind of five areas to focus on. Pick one, one habit, one thing that you can put in and then habit stack it with something else. So if you're, you know, doing already, I know, reading, maybe you'll tie your habit to that because you do that every day. And then when you finish, you do the next thing and then the next thing and then eventually you're getting 1% better every day. And long term, you know, you look back and you see that you've implemented these few things, but they're making an incredible difference because you're stacking those every single day. It's not about just doing it once, it's about doing it consistently. And the other key piece that we always focus on is having a creative mind. Be open to learning more so that you can understand what more is or the different things that can impact your health as you go through. And really you're not in competition with anyone else. Some people are more ahead of you, some people might be behind you. That's okay. You want to compete with yesterday. How did you do yesterday? If you missed something, you're going to do it today, add it in and then celebrate that win. And then lastly your start. If you're just starting out in the program, that's unconscious competency. You don't cut. You kind of know what you're going to be doing but you're not sure. You're. You're trying to understand. And then as you go through the program and you're getting into week three, it's like conscious competency. You just do it, it just works. You're making it go so. And you can't unknow once you know, right. Mary, you're starting again. You know what to do. You can't unknow that as you go.

That's right.

So, and then, so the key is you're going to grow through this process. Yes. You're going to rebound. There are times when things just are just going to happen and then you're going to have to decide I'm going to improve and I'm going to try again. That's the grit in the process of what you're doing as you go through this program is just have the grit to get through the grind to make it happen. So self compassion, love really. It's making sure that you are. Have self love for yourself and compassion because you are worth it from that perspective. Shelly. Okay, so let's go through some questions for today. Let me just get rid of this. That's out of the way and I will send the link for the. Let me just make sure this is right. Yep. Here's the link for the session we did today with Sarah Blondin. That's right. Share.

Copy here.

I'm going to put this one just in case that one was incorrect. That's a one. If you could just do, you know, even if you added that in for a couple of minutes in your day, that would be amazing to really get, you know, a little bit of presence in your day. So any questions for today? I know Michelle, you're about to get started, correct. Do you have any questions about getting started?

No, I'm waiting for my pack. I'll have more questions once that arrives. I feel good. Thank you.

Okay, awesome. Anybody else have any questions? Shelley? Mary.

I have a question on the timing. I guess I typically do a fast and then I eat lunch and dinner. Do you know of or is it possible to do to eat breakfast and lunch yeah, absolutely. Do people do that or.

Yeah, yeah I had a professor at university and she it was more difficult for her to eat in the evening and she preferred to have her meals earlier in the day. Your goal is to have your meals in the eight hour window. Okay now your digestion is best at noon like in that time frame but still if you figure out in that eight hour window where you want to have your meals as long as you stay within that and they're three hours before you go to bed, you don't have any food in that time frame that will help with your digestion and your sleep making sure you get a great sleep. But yeah, anywhere within the eight hour window you can do it. And she was successful. She lost her weight, did great. It was amazing for her and you know what? Try it. See if it works. Yeah you can adjust. If you're used to what will happen is you're used to doing one thing.