Navigating Social Situations and Dining Out During the Holiday

Hi Amira, welcome!

Hi there. I'm gonna make some lunch, so I'm gonna stay off camera.

No problem, no problem. It looks like it's just you and me today anyway.

Oh, okay.

So far, just wait for a few to see if anyone else is able to join us. I know it's such a busy time of the year and there's so much going on, and it's a Friday, and— but, uh, If you aren't able to join live, I hope that you get some benefit out of watching the replay. I think today is a really, really valuable topic, especially this time of year, and we're going to talk all about navigating social situations and dining out during the holidays. And the holidays can come with a lot of challenges when it comes to those things. Whether you are currently in the program and still in either the release or the maintenance phases, or if you've completed it and just sort of want to stay on track with your health goals. So I will be talking about that today, um, and, uh, yeah, I will get into it shortly. I'll just give a few more minutes to see if anyone else is able to join us. Well, I think in the interest of time, I am going to get started. Hopefully some other people still continue to join, and, and again, as always, this is available in the replay, in the YouTube replay channel at all times. So it's handy to go back and take a look at some of the really great presentations that have happened over the course of time on a variety of subjects. But as I said earlier, today is all of— is going to be all about the holidays and navigating social situations and dining out. So I'm going to pause my favorite holiday music, the, the Peanuts soundtrack, and switch gears a little bit to sharing my screen and my presentation. Let me just get that going here.

Here we go.

Bear with me. And here we go. Alright, make sure I'm recording, because that would not be good. I am recording. All right, so welcome, welcome everyone. Thank you for joining me on the replay, or if you are here live, thank you for joining me today to talk about the holiday season. Now, we've discussed this a little bit already this month, and I think that that will sort of be the focus for the remainder of December because it's it's an intense time of year. It can be very intense. So I just wanted to talk a little bit about how, you know, how to navigate this season, how to, how to navigate a lot of the things that also come up with this season as well, like dining out, social social situations and a lot of pressure around those things that can happen as well. I just want to make sure— I'm just going to restart my screen share because I'm not sure it was sharing your notes and not the slide. Yeah, thank you. I thought so. Okay, better. Thank you. All right, um, as we know, there's like— the holidays come with fun, of course, family, food pressure, disrupted routines, temptation, travel, stress, you name it, it runs the gamut. And I just wanted to give you some helpful strategies and tips for navigating the holidays as well as those social situations and dining out. While still honoring your health goals and your metabolism. Because the good news is, is that you absolutely can enjoy the season without losing any momentum or progress you've made. And by the, by the end of this, I hope that you feel a little more confident and prepared to tackle the holidays head on. But I think it's important to start with the challenges, right? Because the challenge is real, the holiday challenge is real. So let's just name some of those. Those challenges up front because it doesn't help to pretend that they don't exist because they do. Of course, we all experience varying degrees of probably each one of these, starting with social pressure. You know, the, the friend or family member who is the food pusher, perhaps, you know, the 'oh, just try a little bit' person, or 'I made this for you special, why aren't you having it' person, or, you know, 'why are you being so strict during the holidays?' and questioning your judgment and making you feel some shame around what you're doing. Um, so that is definitely a big part of, uh, the holidays and something we need to learn to navigate. And of course, on top of that, our routines get disrupted. We're eating at different times, we're eating different kinds of food, we're at other people's homes more frequently than usual. There is probably more constant grazing parties, back-to-back events. Basically, your normal structure just disappears, plus your control over a lot of those situations is more limited. You're not choosing the menu, for example. Someone else is choosing it for you, and that can make things really difficult. Welcome, Katie. Thanks for joining us. Um, of course, we can't forget that there is an emotional layer to the holidays as well. Of course, stress family dynamics, mood, travel fatigue, end-of-year pressure. You know, there's always a million different things to get done, and old habits can resurface. All of that can push us towards making poorer choices around our food and emotional eating. And as I talked about just prior, the feeling of being judged or being, you know, the odd one out at the dinner table And I think you know what I'm talking about when I talk about that. But I just want to reiterate that none of these are weaknesses, they are just human realities, right? It's just part of being human. And that's why having strategies in place is so important, especially if you've felt any of these things before, and just to know that you're not alone in these situations. Because here's the truth, Success is actually possible. You can have both enjoying the holidays while not totally abandoning your health goals. And it doesn't mean choosing one or the other. It, neither are mutually exclusive. It's not an all or nothing season, or even if it feels like it is, it certainly doesn't have to be. Because it really is just about having some good strategies in your back pocket. As opposed to relying on restriction or willpower. Um, and with the right approach and with those good strategies, you can enjoy meaningful food experiences and stay connected socially without drawing unwanted attention to yourself or without feeling isolated or guilty for your choices. And you can stay fully aligned with your health goals and maintain the progress you've worked so hard to achieve. And I know You've all worked hard to achieve your health goals, and it is work, and you don't want to just sort of ignore that and abandon it. So this is definitely 100% doable, and I'm going to just start to give you some strategies now. So before the event is really when you have to start thinking about your success, because most of your success actually happens before you even walk in the door of wherever it is that you're arriving. One of the most important rules associated with this is to never arrive hungry, right? If you walk into a social situation or a restaurant or a gathering starving, you're probably more likely to make poor food choices, or the food will make the decision for you, which is what we don't want. So some of the things you can think about prior to going to an event is having a small balanced meal or snack with a lot of protein-rich foods in it just to help stave off any hunger as you're arriving. Because if you do arrive starving and super hungry, you are going to be more prone to making poor choices. Another is staying hydrated because dehydration often disguises itself as hunger. We can again make poor food choices thinking we're hungry when actually all we might need is a glass of water. Dehydration also makes you tired and emotionally reactive, two of the things we never want in conjunction with a holiday event. So drink your water before you go out and make sure you're sipping it throughout your events as well. If you happen to be heading to a restaurant for your event, it's a good idea to check the menu beforehand. This removes any stress or prevents impulsive choices when you do arrive. This way you can you can decide what you want and how to perhaps modify things before you even get there and walk in with an— and feeling like you have an empowered plan around your food. And you also want to set your goal for the event. Do you want to stay 100% on plan? Are you going to allow yourself perhaps an intentional indulgence? Or are you just really going to focus on prioritizing social connection? There isn't any right or wrong here. It's really just about making that choice. And feeling confident in that choice. And making that decision ahead of time allows it to sort of be your north star, meaning it's going to guide you through the rest of the evening and make indulging or making poor decisions less likely to happen later on. So one of the events that I wanted to spend a little bit of time on because it's something that tends to be a little bit more common during the holiday seasons is the buffet, right? We have all been to either a restaurant or someone's home where there's just this wonderful table full of food laid out and presented, but it's actually one of the biggest ways that we can get in trouble when it comes to our health goals. And who here— I know I have— hasn't been overwhelmed by choice at a buffet table and perhaps succumbed to maybe not the best decisions and/or like this huge heaping plate full of food that we don't really need to eat all of. So the next time you do find yourself at a buffet, here's a strategy for you to use, and I think it'll really help you navigate that table of food. Don't grab a plate right away. That's what we tend to do. You know, they're lined up at the end of the table so that you can take your plate and your cutlery and start to fill up. But instead, take a lap around the table, look at everything that's being offered, and try to make some choices based on that because oftentimes the first thing you see on the table is probably not the best thing for you. So scouting the, the table and the food choices available to you allows you, A, to prioritize and make the best choices, B, compare the options for what's available, make a plan, and then ultimately fill up your plate intentionally. And when you are fill— building your plate, there is a method to do so that is going to be more advantageous to you. So when you're filling your plate, you want to fill your plate mostly with vegetables and salads. This is a non-negotiable strategy when it comes to the buffet because vegetables are low in carbs, they're high in fiber, they're very nutrient-dense, dense and very satisfying. They also take up a lot of physical space on your plate, which means less room for the foods that you probably shouldn't be indulging in, you know, those higher carb or problematic fat options. It really is a, a brilliant strategy to make you feel like you aren't being deprived at all. You're still getting a lot of food, but it is a better choice. And then next you want to load up on the lean proteins, right? That would be your next choice. Make proteins your second centerpiece. And there's always tons of great protein options available at a holiday buffet. If you are in a situation where you feel like the proteins that you prefer to eat are not available, maybe think about bringing something for yourself to that gathering. This is a great opportunity to check ahead. If it's a restaurant, you can call the restaurant to see what they offer, or if this is going to be at someone's home, then you can also perhaps touch base with them ahead of time and see if there are any protein options that suit your choices. And then finally, if you want to choose one intentional indulgence and truly want to do so, go right ahead. Not because you feel obligated, but because you've decided that that's what you want to do, and not out of pressure or because it's tradition, just because it is something you want. So again, I just want to highlight this is the if you want or if you desire portion of the program presentation because this is not certainly mandatory, but I know when it comes to the holidays, a lot of traditional foods or nostalgic items end up on the table or, you know, in our environment, and sometimes those are a little bit harder to say no to. You certainly don't have to say no though. If there is something you genuinely want to experience, just choose one of those items and do it consciously. Again, not because there's an obligation to do so, but because you decided it's worth it. And that is a very different experience than just impulsively eating those items. That is what we would refer to as being intentional about your food choices. So let's get a little bit more specific about what you might be working with at some of those holiday meals. Think about the foods you can embrace, and then think about the foods that are probably best to limit. Starting with some of the foods to embrace, again, proteins are, are going to be your foundation. Proteins and vegetables, right? These should be the centerpieces of your plate. And as I said before, the holidays typically have a lot of protein choices, hopefully a variety of those choices for everyone's tastes. But if you make those your, one of your centerpieces, you're going to be successful. The next, vegetables, again, as I mentioned before, they typically are available and in abundance. But sometimes they're prepared in ways that don't align with the phase of the program that we're in. You know, think of that classic green bean casserole, if anyone is a fan of that. But there typically are other options. You know, roasted vegetables are great, steamed, obviously, salads, anything raw like a crudité plate. You might again need to ask about preparation, but typically there are options that are friendly and that do exist. Now onto those foods that we should be thinking more cautiously about and likely limiting. Many of them are the obvious ones. The high-carb items like stuffing, bread, mashed potatoes loaded with butter and cream, sugary desserts, and we can't forget the holiday drinks, which I will talk about a little bit later, but those are often just a lot of cream and sugar, actually. And we should also just briefly touch on the fat component. While it's probably not going to be completely possible to avoid all fats, especially if you're in the release phase. You can take a more strategic approach by focusing on anything at the table or on the menu that might be grilled or roasted or broiled. Be super cautious again about those creamy casseroles, fried foods, buttery sauces. Ask how things are prepared. You know, most people are usually happy to describe the preparation for you so that you can make an informed choice. Now, when it comes to social pressure, this often becomes the hardest part for people. It's not actually about the food so much, it's more about the social dynamics around the food. So we all have those people in our lives, right? I talked about that a little bit prior. That's the person who might say, "Come on, you know, just try this. I made it special for you." or you're not eating the Christmas cookies. Like, when did you get so strict about that? Whether it's a coworker or a family member commenting on your plate, it can feel really personal. But here's the truth. People who are commenting about the way you are eating are almost always making judgments based on their own discomfort or insecurity. It's rarely about you. It's really about them. When you make a different choice, it can unconsciously trigger something in them— their doubts about their own choices, how they're eating, you know, their own particular specific health goals. But you have to just remember, this is not your problem to solve. And while it's not your problem, you do want to be armed with some confident responses so that you don't come across negatively or coming across in the fact that you perhaps can't handle what they're saying. So just a couple of different things that you can say to defend yourself against those situations should they come up. It's very, very acceptable to just say, I'm feeling good with my food choices right now and I enjoy eating this way. You know, it's just very neutral. It's positive. And doesn't really require any more explanation, and it certainly doesn't judge their choices. It's just telling them about your choices. You could also say, "I'm really enjoying the turkey," or "I'm really enjoying the roasted vegetables here," and that is also very specific. It shows enthusiasm that you're enjoying your food, and it redirects to what you are eating rather than what you're not eating, if that feels more comfortable. You might want to just say, "I had a late lunch, so I'm just eating a little bit lighter tonight." And this is, again, is very simple, it's factual, and really doesn't require any more further explanation, and most people will take that for what it is. And of course, you can also say, "This just doesn't align with my health goals right now." This is direct. It's also, I think, a kind way of saying that, and it just names that you're prioritizing your health without any kind of apology. And really, ultimately, the key to all of these is the tone in which you say it. Say them calmly, confidently, and then just change the subject. That's the easiest way around it. You're not being defensive. You're not being apologetic. You're simply stating your boundary. And most people don't push back on that further if you deliver these with confidence. And honestly, when you're calm and confident about your choices, it kind of helps others relax too, and your certainty, your confidence, gives them permission to stop questioning themselves. One of the best rules I like to keep in my back pocket is what's called the 20-minute rule, and it, it's a science-based strategy based on how your body processes its satiety signals. So when you eat, it actually takes about 20 minutes for your brain to receive signals from your gut that you've, you're full and that you've had enough. This is why eating slowly and something we recommend, we talk about chewing all the time, putting down your fork in between bites really, really helps your brain and gut connection and improves those signals between your brain and gut to allow you not to overeat and why waiting before you go back for a second helping really does help as well. And I think we've all been there, you know, especially if we, if we arrive to a restaurant or we start to fill up our plates when we're really, really hungry, you can get through your meal pretty quickly and still feel that hunger. What happens? You then go back for your second helping, you eat that as well, and then you are just like stuffed. We really want to avoid that, and using the 20-minute rule is a great tool and strategy for doing so. So if you find yourself in a situation where you're considering a second helping, just like set, set a mental timer for yourself for 20 minutes. You know, you don't have to be super specific about it and watch the clock, but instead step away, use that time perhaps to socialize or chat with friends, maybe even just step outside for a little bit of fresh air and enjoy the environment. Very often, very often, after 20 minutes of not eating, you actually realize you are satisfied and you're satiated. And what might have felt 20 minutes ago like you needed more food was actually just the experiencing— the experience of finishing your plate. And there is a psychological component here. Finishing your plate can feel different than being physically full. This 20-minute rule also has another benefit, and it's distinguishing between hunger and visual appetite. And visual appetite is when you see food and you want it just because it looks good. You may not actually be hungry, but physical hunger is when your body genuinely needs fuel, and there's a differentiation between that. And this 20-minute rule, just pausing in between, you know, seconds, really helps clarify what you're experiencing. I think this is also a gift to the social aspect of the event that you're attending as well, because it really forces you to slow down, to engage more with people, and just enjoy yourself without being strictly consumed by the act of eating and by your food. And I think that is a huge win all around. We cannot talk about the holidays without talking about holiday beverages, right? And beverages are a category people often overlook, but can actually completely derail your plan if you don't try to support it instead. Water is always going to be your best friend at a holiday event. Drink throughout the event. As I said, before you arrive, make sure you're hydrated. Have a glass or two of water before you leave your house, and then make sure you're sipping throughout the event. You know, aim for probably at least a glass about 20 minutes before you eat as well, if you can, if there's a delay when you get there between being served That is also going to curb any feelings of hunger that you might think you're feeling but that are actually thirst. Because water suppresses appetite, it supports your hydration, and it gives you something to do with your hands, which can be important as well if you happen to be sort of feeling a little awkward in the social situation. Feel free to make it festive if you want. Sometimes sparkling water with a little squeeze of lime or lemon looks It certainly looks more elegant and feels more holiday appropriate, but you know at least that it's still water and it's just supporting your goals. Limit alcohol or avoid it entirely if you can. Alcohol has several issues when it comes to the metabolic reset. Of course, it adds empty calories, it impairs your judgment, and you're more likely to make poor food choices if you are drinking alcohol, especially those drinks with sugary mixers. If this is your conscious indulgence, if you want to have a glass of alcohol, then make sure you're choosing something that is dry. So a dry wine or a clear spirit like a vodka soda, for example, and make sure any mixes that you use with it are also zero-calorie clear mixers. So again, sparkling water, club soda are going to be your best bets here. The holiday drinks particularly problematic are the sweet, creamy ones like eggnog. You know, that's pretty much 50% cream, 50% sugar. Hot chocolate, festive mixed cocktails, punch. These are all very calorie-dense and a lot of them are carb-heavy. You know, the occasional treat, this is possibly an occasional treat for you during the holidays. Maybe this is your intentional indulgence, but it is definitely not a fabulous strategy for staying on plan. So I would really recommend skipping these if you can. And your beverage strategy is really quite straightforward. Water, water, water, supplemented with other zero-calorie options like sparkling water and, squeeze of fresh juice if that's what you want, and that's it. When it comes to restaurants, oftentimes restaurant dining is actually easier, easier than home events for staying on plan. And this is because you typically have more control when you're eating out at a restaurant. At home events, you are eating what the host prepared, but at a restaurant, you're paying for your meal and restaurants are very much accustomed to accommodating requests. So this is again where you are— should be smart about it and review the menu if you can before you head out. It's the same strategy we discussed for the buffets, but I think it's even more effective at restaurants because you can study the options ahead of time calmly. You know, you're not in that situation where all the food is just right there in front of you. And end up walking in knowing exactly what you want to order. You can ask questions about preparation like, is that grilled or fried? You can say, what fat is used in the sauce? Or can you prepare that without sauce? Restaurants really are very accustomed to getting these kinds of questions and they have answers, so by all means use them. Feel free to request modifications. Ask for dressing on the side, ask for vegetables instead of fries, ask for grilled instead of fried, or light butter instead of— sorry, light oil instead of butter. These are completely normal standard requests, and most restaurants appreciate that they are coming. And of course, they don't cost the restaurant anything, so don't, you know, hesitate because of that. And order confidently. Again, you know, keep in mind this is your money. You are paying for meal, and it is also your health. You are not being difficult by asking for a modification. You're just being clear about what you want. That confidence transfers to the server, and you will likely get what you want without any drama. So let's talk about setbacks, right? Because they happen to all of us. You might slip during the holidays. You might eat something you planned not to eat. You might go off plan. First of all, this is very normalized, and I invite you to normalize it. It doesn't mean you failed, and it doesn't mean everything is ruined. It just means you're human and you're navigating a human challenging season. So here's a little bit of a recovery protocol that you can use and keep in mind should this happen to you. Don't use this one slip slip up as an excuse to derail. That's often a big mistake people can make. Maybe it's just eating one cookie and then thinking, well, you know, I've already blown it, so I might as well keep going and having more cookies. This is just really catastrophizing thinking because one cookie is not a problem. Using one cookie as justification to abandon your plan for the evening, for the weekend, or for the rest of the year, that's actually the problem. So just acknowledge it, learn from it, and move forward. Ask yourself what happened. See if you can figure out what might have triggered it. And then also ask yourself what you can do differently. Let it go and move forward. After that, just return to plan, you know, at your next meal, not the next day, not, you know, in the morning if that's, if you're in a day function, your next meal. And I think this is a really important psychological component because doing this doesn't create a narrative of I'll get back on track later. Instead, you are back on track right away, essentially, and it's much less dramatic and much more powerful. We always talk about focusing on progress, not perfection. And if you are on plan, even, you know, 90% of the time during the holidays, that is remarkable. And that to me is success. You don't need to be perfect to achieve your metabolic goals. The mindset here is self-compassion combined with, if necessary, immediate recommitment. Not shame, not restriction, and certainly not judgment or drama. Just a clear return to your path. So routines also get upset during the holidays, but one of the best ways to stay on plan during chaos is to maintain some semblance of structure. I think structure during the holidays really does become your friend, and it creates a stability when everything else can get disrupted. So if you are eating breakfast, you know, try to do that within an hour of waking. It stabilizes your blood sugar for the whole day. Um, and if you're at an event later in the day, starting with a solid breakfast ensures you arrive satisfied and stable rather rather than depleted. Spacing your meals 4 to 5 hours apart is another good routine and strategy. This is ideal for metabolic function and satiety. It prevents, you know, the dreaded grazing and picking that often happens during the holidays when you happen to be around food all day. It's a good idea to try to continue to finish dinner early, you know, at least 3 hours before your bedtime. For proper digestion and to support your sleep quality. This— having that cutoff time ensures you're not eating too late into the evening, which is when mindless eating also tends to occur. And never, ever, ever skip a meal that you intended to have just to sort of save calories. This always backfires. It just means you probably are going to arrive hungry, your willpower will be depleted, and you will likely overeat. So just eat normally during the day and then make intentional choices at the event. You will actually eat less overall this way. And the routine is really about supporting, you know, your, your health goals, your metabolic health, also your decision-making capacity, because structure is not restriction, it's support. And it also Pays mine to talk about mindful eating, right? Mindfulness around eating is one of the most powerful tools for sustainable change. It requires presence, it requires awareness, but it really does transform your relationship with food. And you don't have to just do this at the holidays. These are really great strategies to continue to do all throughout the year. Sitting down to eat is one of them. No, you know, don't stand and eat at your kitchen counter or just continue to graze throughout the day. Day. It's a simple strategy, but it really is transformative. Standing and grazing or snacking while mingling disconnects you from how much you're eating, and you end up consuming significantly more than you'd eat if you were seated. So create a really clear eating moment rather than constant background eating. We talk about chewing all the time, right? Chew slowly, savor your food. This Improves digestion, although it's not just about digestion, it's about satisfaction. Because when you chew slowly and truly taste your food, you ultimately need less of it. And a few bites of something is more likely to feel satisfying than having a large quantity of food you're just barely noticing because you're eating it too fast. Putting down your fork between bites is a really great strategy as well. It's a really simple act that slows your eating pace automatically. It also creates moments where you can just check in with yourself. Are you still hungry? Do you really want more food? These are powerful opportunities to check in. Of course, socializing and engaging in conversation is also a really great strategy. I mean, that's really the, the point of these events, right? It's not just about the food, it's about connecting with people. And when you focus on people and conversation and social connection in general, food becomes more of a side note rather than the main event, and your eating will naturally normalize. And last, of course, just tune into your body, pay attention, and notice when you feel satisfied and full, not stuffed. And there is a difference. Satisfaction is when you've had enough and you feel good, but stuffed is when you've eaten too much. And learning to recognize when to stop at satisfied is really, really an important skill to have. So just in closing, just to circle back to where we started, I hope with a little bit more empowerment now, but basically you can of course still enjoy the holidays without feeling like you're derailing your plans. I, you know, we want you to engage socially, participate in the traditions that you love, and experience joy around your food while still honoring your metabolic reset commitment. Just remember, I think these are probably the top 3 pillars: never arrive hungry, make sure you've eaten before you arrive, either a balanced meal or a substantial snack to balance your, your blood sugar and reduce any reactive eating. You know, scout the— whether it's the menu or the buffet table first and know what you're going to put on your plate or have to order before you get there, you know, before you start filling your plate or before you get there again, so as not to make reactive choices. And then use the 20-minute rule. Wait 20 minutes before you have a second helping. Let your brain process the fullness signals that it's intended to do. Socialize a minute or two, hydrate, and then reassess if you still need more food and if you're still truly hungry. Because success ultimately comes from planning, from confidence in your choices, and from self-compassion when you're navigating something that might feel difficult. You already have all the tools you need. This is just giving you a few more specific strategies. But at the end of the day, the commitment comes from you. So I invite you to approach the holidays with intention. Use some of these strategies and trust that you can do this because you absolutely can. And I would love to hear how the holidays went for you after the fact. Please share with us in the Facebook group how the holidays went and if you used any of these strategies to your advantage. I'm just going to stop sharing. That is the end of the presentation portion. And of course, now, if anyone has any questions, I'm happy to answer those for you. We have a very small group today. And a reminder that this presentation, the replay of this presentation, will be available in, um, the replay playlist Um, by Monday or Tuesday of next week.

Hi, Laura. I don't have a question, but just a comment that while I was on vacation, um, I was having like club soda with lime for my quote cocktails, and it worked really well. And nobody really like looks at you like, why aren't you having a drink? Because it looks like a drink. And, and then it's satisfied meeting my need. Like, it wasn't just drinking water, it was drinking something like that was bubbly and had lime and flavor. So it was good.

It's a great dupe. It really, really is. Yeah. Thank you for sharing, Amira. Well, it doesn't appear that we have any questions today, so I will say goodbye for now and I hope that you're able to, uh, again use these strategies over the holidays. They're only a few weeks away, and there's lots happening between now and the end of the year. So enjoy, and, um, we will see you again soon. Thanks for joining everyone.