3 Breakthroughs Every High Performer Needs (That Most Are Missing)

when you find like-minded people and like-minded friends, you get to actually talk about the things you really want to be talking about. And it's not that you're talking to your other friends about things you don't want to be talking about. It's just that you can't stay in one lane all the time. I can't just talk about the weather. I can't just talk about my family. We can't just talk about someone's kids. We can't just talk about our problems. Like, if there's a big part of you that is a creative and ideator, a business person, a strategist, like, you need to be able to talk to other people about that and be able to feel and and be in that version of yourself, because it's a big piece of you. And we're back with another episode of He Said, She Said.

We're literally back from running our Elite Entrepreneur Mastermind last week, which was awesome. It started with a beach bonfire. We had like a fun day where we did bikes all around Newport Beach. We played pickleball. We had awesome dinners. Like, I absolutely love how this one went.

They are some of my favorite things to do because of also how much we learn. Yeah. And I think our expertise truly is curating people and curating rooms. And I will just brag on us for one minute because the compliment that I got so much at this experience was that we really create the energy in the room to be able to have a breakthrough. And we know that breakthroughs can only come from being vulnerable and showing up with the thing that's holding you back. And a lot of masterminds, not intentionally, can tend to start to be a comparison experience because you get there. And I know that I've gone to plenty of masterminds where I feel like I'm not good enough, or like I'm worried about telling people about you know, my problems or my numbers, and I'm there to actually get better. So one of the things that I think we do the best out of just about anything that we do is create a really safe space so that people can have the breakthroughs that you hear about from our masterminds. And you can't do that without being vulnerable.

You nailed it. And the vulnerability— I, I should say the safe space creates a vulnerability, and the vulnerability creates the breakthrough. You can't have it in any other order. And that's why I think we create so many breakthroughs. And so you, the listener, you're probably a high performer. You probably aspire for a really good business. You're an entrepreneur yourself. And the more you grow, the more you're going to encounter new problems that feel really unfamiliar. Not standard problems like, oh gee, I got a little cash flow problem. Or not standard problems like, oh, I had made a bad hire. But like real personal vulnerable problems because The higher you perform, the more these things are triggered and start to come outta you. And so we wanted to share just to help normalize that, hey, this stuff is normal. We wanted to share 3 vulnerable conversations that occurred in the Elite Entrepreneur Mastermind. Remember, these are all 7 and 8 figure earners in there so that you kind of feel normalized when you encounter things like this. Now, we're not going to give away who it was, what their business is, and we're gonna be details of the story, very, very vague, vague to protect the the sanctity of the room. But I thought these are important messages to share with you 'cause they're breakthroughs, they're great. And I know that you guys are probably going through similar things. So the first one, we have an incredible member that owns a badass salon. We're talking multiple millions. And this person was sharing how they live in a very small town. And in that small town, they love their friends, they love the people, they love their family. They're all living there. We're talking just a couple thousand people, like that level of a small town. And doesn't ever want to leave the town or upset the apple cart. But the problem is this person is also probably the richest person in town and has really big dreams and wants to live a really big life and show up really big and unapologetic and feels like there's a crux there. There's a juxtaposition between trying to keep the friends and the other people in town feeling safe and really wanting to be your big, unapologetic, successful self. And that can feel really difficult. We're from small towns, and we didn't necessarily want to stay in our small towns. We ended up out here in California. But in a situation where you're like, no, I love everybody here and I don't want to leave, but I also want to be my unapologetic self, that can start to feel like a real problem. So we as a group kind of worked through that, like, hey, You can't not go where you're meant to go, but there's also a beautiful way to do it and enroll everybody.

I remember having this experience personally, and it doesn't mean that you love anyone less. It means that you need to fill some gaps in your relationships, and that's why it's very important for entrepreneurs and people who have big goals and big dreams and big personalities to be able to find the rooms that they can fully express themselves in. And also, this person still needs to create this at home for themselves as well, so that they're, they're not having to travel all of the time to find space to be themselves. So if you're finding yourself in this particular space, there are people that you could start being yourself around. And yes, there will be people in your life who absolutely reject the fact that you are growing. That's just how This goes, that's literally everybody's story. And I think that was also very powerful is that these rooms reveal to you that you are not alone in sharing all of these things that actually happen along the path of growth, which is losing a lot of people or people talking about you and many coming back and many not. And so creating that at home for this particular person is a big deal along with having these other rooms. But one of the things that you come out of every single time from a mastermind or a trip or anything where you're going with other like-minded people is that you just feel stronger and you have a plan and you know that you're not alone from it.

Yeah, you know, one of the pieces of advice given to this person in a situation was you continuing to be really small just so you're accepted in the town will make you miserable. So that's a lose-lose situation. But you being too big or too brash or whatever too quickly, of course, might rub some people the wrong way. So go find the rooms in the crowds that you're allowed to be yourself in, and then go back to your town and just be inspirational enough, because you never know who else has a big dream. And by you living your big dream and setting the example, you might inspire somebody else that, wait a minute, I could do the same thing too, because I see that person doing it. So it might actually have a more positive trickle-down effect than you think. It may not push people away. Being your successful self. But anyhow, been there, felt that, and it just felt so good to be able to offer advice around, hey, there is a way to solve or to appease both situations there. So the second person, uh, remarkable entrepreneur, literally joined this thing at the beginning of the year saying, I'm just joining to make friends because for the life of me, I can't find people that inspire me and feel like a friend at the same time. They're like, people either feel like some kind of paid mentor, or they don't inspire me because they're not performing as high as me. And so the person joined the room hoping that they would find peers that are running at the same pace as them and have the same size dreams as them and can also inspire them because they might be outperforming this person in some other areas. And it's exactly What happened?

I remember this happening in the beginning of when I was joining different things because I was craving different conversations. I was craving parts of my brain that never got to be used and ideating with people and stepping into that version of myself that I absolutely loved where I just felt like time didn't exist and I could like, it's like you're a kid and it just feels so good to be in that part of your brain that makes you feel like that best version of yourself and the, the part of you that you really are great at, and that's what happens when you find like-minded people and like-minded friends. You get to actually talk about the things you really wanna be talking about. And it's not that you're talking to your other friends about things you don't wanna be talking about. It's just that you can't stay in one lane all the time. I can't just talk about the weather. I can't just talk about my family. We can't just talk about someone's kids. We can't just talk about our problems. Like if there's a big part of you that is a creative, an ideator, a business person, a strategist, like you need to be able to talk to other people about that and be able to feel and be in that version of yourself because it's a big piece of you.

I watched this person get great advice around dating and relationships from people that they looked up to. I also watched this person have great financial conversations as well. One of these situations or conversations where they're like, I've got all this money, I don't know what to do with it. And then watching our financial experts in the room, Phil and Trish, have conversations with this person and be like, okay, let's talk through it and here's some ideas and here's what you can do. That's exactly how it's supposed to work. And I consider this person a friend now. Like, that's one of the side benefits of rooms like this is really cool people come in saying, hey, you know, I'm a high performer and I'm looking for like-minded friends. And I love this. I've got such a sweet spot in my heart for this person. So it just worked out on all fronts there. But again, it's kind of why you have to go find your tribe. Otherwise it's too damn lonely. And then the third one I absolutely love. This person runs a badass business, but it's boutique. So like picture really big, high-paying clients, but you don't take a lot of them. You take 7 or 8 of them max. And so the good thing is you can just blow their minds with really good service. The tough thing when you have a business like this is if 1 or 2 leave at the same time, you lose a big chunk of your revenue. And this person actually had a few people leave in an untimely way, just all coincidence for different reasons. And all of a sudden needed to make up like 50% of their revenue. And that can be really jarring. And I want you guys to hear the story because that can happen to any of us. You can feel down and out. You can second guess, wait, am I doing this wrong? Oh my God, did I pick the wrong business? If you don't have people to come to the rescue. So here's the really cool punchline part of the story. This person was not shy about reaching out to the whole mastermind and Lori Harder and I and other people and saying, hey, I need a few clients. I need them quick. I've got these people on payroll. We lost 50% of our revenue. What can we do to find them? And everybody rallied because this person's been around the group for a few years. Everyone rallied like this person had all this reciprocity built up and people were so happy to rally for this person. So people were sending out calls, they were doing text messages to people that could be good clients, sending out emails, doing social media. And they found 2 great clients that made up all the lost revenue. Now, you as an entrepreneur, this can happen to you because guess what? That's the first part of the happy story. And then several months went by and this person showed up to the mastermind. They're like, you're never gonna believe it. Had a couple of clients have to leave for crazy wonky reasons again, and now I'm down like 40% revenue. So it's boom and bust. It's boom and bust. And I want you to hear the story because it's not always something you're doing wrong. It might just be One of the double-edged sword pieces of your business model, you get to give really good close attention, but then a couple people leave and all of a sudden you've lost a lot of revenue, but you still have to support payroll and stuff. So once again, real time in person, I watch people doing social media together with this person. I watch people sending out text messages. I watch people brainstorming. Okay, who can we rally? Who can we think of as a client? And there are already lots of connections being made. And I know from sure by the end of this next week, their client list will be full again. That's why you need to participate in any kind of group that fosters relationships with other high-performing people.

Okay, so there's a whole world of people who don't want to join or commit to a whole year-long mastermind, and that's why you're putting on your trips.

Yeah, that's why I created Found. So Found is a new series of trips for entrepreneurs that want to meet other entrepreneurs and have life-changing conversations, because that's what these are. It's a vulnerable moment where you spend a few days with someone, you get comfortable enough to say, hey, here's, here's where I'm struggling. And that person says, I know a guy, or I've got a solution, or I've been there before, or have you ever tried this pivot? And it changes the freaking trajectory of your life. Like, this is how I met my business partner Matt, is I just went on a travel mastermind and became friends over dinner and cultivated a relationship. And I wouldn't have my business partner Matt. Without one of these situations. We have 100 examples where it's not a mastermind per se, but a chance meeting, or we traveled with somebody, or, you know, we spent a few days at someone's lake house, and then we were either best friends from then on out or business partners, or they said something like, remember when somebody saved you the pivot between Light Pink and Glossy?

Yeah.

Just hanging out in the lake house. That wouldn't have happened without hanging out. And that person was new to you at the time. Yeah. So anyhow, I'm recreating these opportunities for entrepreneurs that, you know, they may not want to sign up for a whole year, but they definitely want to go on a 4 or 5 day beautiful trip and have the same kind of outcome. Now here's the funny thing. I just texted a bunch of friends and said, hey, I'm putting this thing on and there's only 10 spots and 8 of them went right away. So at the time that we're recording this, there's 2 spots and I just voice noted back like 12 people. So there may not even be spots, but As of right now, there's 2 spots. We're gonna snake up the southern coast of California as a group, going from beautiful place to be. We're starting in Newport Beach. Day 1 is meet cool people. You're gonna meet each other, and then we're gonna go up to Beverly Hills for the night. And day 2 is meet a cool founder in LA, and then we're gonna go up the coast to Santa Barbara. And day 3 is do cool things. We're gonna do really fun, like, bonding things. When was the last time you just took a day off and did really fun things and had good conversations and had bonfire dinners on the beach and all that stuff. And day 4 is set cool goals with a big goal setting breakfast and a trip back. Like, this is going to be first class and amazing, but it's only for high-performing entrepreneurs and executives that are like, ah, I need a reset. Ah, I need a new idea. Ah, I need a pivot. Oh, I need some support. Oh, I need some like-minded people. Oh, I'm lonely and I need to fix it. That's who it's for. So reach out. If you got my number, text me. If not, DM me, Chris W. Harder on Instagram. Just say, hey, heard about your found trip on the He Said, She Said podcast. Would love to hear more about it. Every expense is covered. So all you got to do is get yourself to the beginning of the trip.

Of course, because I put myself in your shoes. Chris, we need to know, what does high performing mean?

High performing is this. It's not a certain earning number per se. It means you have high standards for where you're going in your business. It means that you've been in business for a couple of years as an executive or an entrepreneur or longer. It means that you have strong conviction about the kind of life that you want to have, but maybe there's some gaps where you need some input from other people. I mean, the bottom line is this: if you know that you're called to do really big things, you want to be around other people doing really big things, and you want to take the shortcut, which is collaboration, then get your tail on this trip. Let's have a few days, you know, 4 days of like awesome luxury doing really cool things. You're going to leave having changed the trajectory of your life, I promise. So seriously, reach out. DMs on Instagram, Chris W. Harder, or shoot me a text. Can't wait to see who the last couple of people are, and we'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for tuning in.