248: Stop visiting your future self, start becoming them

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Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all doing amazing wherever you are in the world. As I'm recording this, I am just freshly back from a little holiday. So a few weeks ago, I went on my partner's family holiday to the village in Spain that his mum lives in, which, don't get me wrong, it's absolutely lovely, but it never actually feels like a proper holiday, if you get me, because I always take my laptop with me, I always end up working, and so I never actually really switch off. It's basically just like I'm working in another country, which although is nice, it's not like relaxing or anything like that. But those of you who were in my Abundance on Tap course when we did the live run-through back in March, you'll all know that round about day 6 or 7, I was visualizing a proper break from work. And as we were all tapping away, me father-in-law, which is Johnny's dad, messaged us and said something like, I'm gonna book you all a little family holiday to get away with a little one to make some memories. Now, for context, Johnny's dad is quite loaded, and straight away this made me feel so fucking uncomfortable because it's almost like my own limiting beliefs ringing alarm bells that were like, 'But you haven't earned this,' or, 'But you didn't have to work for this, so it can't be real.' But I just softened, I took a breather, and I thought to myself, 'You know what, if he wants to pay for us a holiday, let him. Let him buy me a holiday. If he wants to buy us a holiday, just go with it, go with the flow. So as a result of tapping through me course and releasing all resistance to this, he just went ahead and he booked us this 5K holiday. Now, even just saying this sounds wild because £5,000 is a hell of a lot of money to me. And I was actually just texting my friend Josie about this the other day because I was saying I've probably never ever spent over £1,000 on a holiday in my entire life. But anyway, the months rolled by. We obviously had Manifest about a month ago. I could feel myself overworking like there was no tomorrow, and I knew that I was ready for a break. I just knew. So off we went last week to this TUI Blue Sensatory Resort in Crete with Jake, my son, and it was absolute heaven. Don't get us wrong, traveling with a 2-year-old is absolutely fucking brutal. Because we landed at like 2 AM or something in Crete, so we didn't actually even get to the hotel until about 3 AM, and he was wide awake. He'd had no sleep. But I just thought, everything's paid for, I can't really whinge about anything. It was all-inclusive as well, so shock horror, I've gained over a stone in weight again.

Woohoo!

And Johnny's dad had even paid for Jake to go to the baby tots club daily for a couple of hours at a time. So we got like a proper little break to go to the gym every day or go for a walk or whatever we wanted to do. Now the hotel itself was an actual paradise. I don't think I've ever stayed anywhere as nice. I think it's one of the most bougie hotels I've ever stayed in. So I've literally just got back a couple of days ago, and if you're anything like me, you'll know that strange feeling when you walk back through your own front door. It's awful, isn't it? Like, we landed at 4 AM back into Newcastle, so by the time we picked up our cases, we'd gone through passport control and then we got a taxi and got home. It was about 5 o'clock in the morning, so the suitcases were just chucked everywhere in the living room. There was a mountain of washing to do. The fridge somehow contained absolutely nothing edible. And before I knew it, me brain had already started making a mental list of everything that I needed to do that day. So I was racking up the emails, the work, the jobs around the house, the things that I should be doing. It's almost as if your mind says, right then, holiday is over, time to snap back to reality, isn't it? But this year, something felt different while I was on holiday, and I'm going to go into this in a bit more detail. Because one of the mornings on holiday, I was sitting on the balcony bit of our room overlooking the sea. Me little boy had just been in the pool having the time of his life. The sun was shining, it was about 30 degrees. I had a coffee in me hand, and I just remember thinking I don't actually want anything more than just this moment. Now that really caught me off guard because I'm always trying to manifest, you know, X, Y, and Z. But for some reason I just had that thought. I don't actually want anything more than just this present moment. And it wasn't because me life suddenly became perfect or anything, because it didn't. Me business still existed. Me responsibilities were still waiting for us back home in the UK. There were still things to sort out, decisions to make, goals I wanted to achieve. But for the first time in a very long time, none of that felt heavy, if that makes sense. So I wasn't checking the emails every 5 minutes while I was on holiday. I wasn't wondering how me Instagram posts were performing, because before I went away, I scheduled 14 days' worth of social media so that I didn't even need to go on Instagram. I wasn't refreshing Shopify every day to see if another order had come through. I wasn't thinking about recording podcasts because I'd already done my episode with Tamu and Karen, the last 2 weeks' episodes. And schedule those to go out as well. I wasn't writing newsletters because I'd pre-scheduled those. I wasn't planning me next launch because I've not even decided what I'm going to launch next. I was just there. I was in Crete and I was present, and that felt really unfamiliar for me. Now don't get us wrong, like I say, the holiday itself was incredible. The sea was crystal clear, the food was unbelievable. I genuinely don't think I had a single food intolerance while I was there, which if you know me, it's practically headline news. And I think I ate enough tzatziki to keep the Greek economy going for another 6 months. But as lovely as all of that was, I realised something much bigger was happening. I wasn't just enjoying me surroundings, I had become a different version of meself on holiday. So I noticed that I laughed more, and I smiled more, and I wasn't rushing from one thing to the next. I wasn't even constantly reaching for me phone whenever there was 5 seconds of silence. In fact, I think one day I looked at me phone 3 times all day. I found myself sitting on the beach one day, just watching the waves without feeling guilty that I should be doing something productive instead. Now, even the conversations that I was having with people felt different. I was more patient, I was more present, and if I'm honest, probably a lot more fun to be around. And then on the flight home, I caught myself thinking something that I've probably thought after almost every holiday that I've ever been on. Which is, "I wish life could feel like this all the time." Now, normally that would be where the story ends, isn't it? You'd unpack your suitcase, you'd stick a wash on, you'd order an online food shop, you'd promise yourself that you'll keep that feeling going forever, and then by the next morning you're back stressing over things that didn't even cross your mind while you were away. Does that sound familiar? So this time I stopped myself and I just asked myself a different question. I said, "What if it wasn't actually Greece that made me feel like this? What if it was me?" Now, stick with us here because this is what I think is fascinating because millions of people a year visit Greece, you know, every single year. And some come home completely refreshed. Some come home absolutely exhausted because they've spent the entire week chasing toddlers around a swimming pool. Some of them might have even come home having argued with their partner because one of them insisted on getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning to reserve bloody sunbeds. Yes, there was people in our hotel actually doing that. Wild. I still find that wild. And some people probably spent the entire holiday worrying about work back home. So, we all go to, you know, similar destinations, but we can all have completely different experiences. So, maybe it's not the location that's creating the feeling. Maybe the location simply gives us permission to become a version of ourselves that we've forgotten how to access at home. And I think it's because, you know, back at home we're in familiar territory, aren't we? We're in that mundane 9-to-5 of, you know, we get up, we look after children, we cook breakfast, we go to work, we come home from work, we go and see friends, we look after children, we go to the gym, and it's constant. It's a cycle. So it's almost like we've forgotten how to access that state of pure joy and that state of mind at home. And I was chatting to me online chatbot that I created about this. Little sidetrack, if you don't know, I basically created a chatbot in the membership on me academy called Smart Mart, and it is trained on every single one of my podcasts, every one of my courses, workshops, books. It is phenomenal. I love it so much. I have daily conversations with it. So when I was having a chat with my online chatbot, When it said that back to me about, you know, how I've forgotten to access that feeling at home, it really fascinated us because I started looking back over the week and I realized that it wasn't just my environment that had changed. It was my entire identity. So I wasn't operating as, in inverted commas, Busy Mart. I wasn't operating as Business Owner Mart or Content Creator Mart. I wasn't constantly thinking about what needed fixing or improving. I was just simply existing. And this is where it gets really interesting too, because I don't actually think this is about holidays at all. I think so many of us spend our lives visiting the version of ourselves that we actually want to become. So what I mean by this is that maybe we meet this perfect version of ourself on holiday, or maybe it's after landing a new job, or maybe after finding a relationship, or after hitting a financial milestone. Of finally reaching a health goal. And for a little while, we become calmer, more grateful, more confident, more optimistic, and we start to trust life a little more and ourselves a little more. But then, without even noticing, we slowly start drifting back into the old identity that we've practiced for years. Now, for me personally, that's the overthinker, the person who's constantly preparing for something to go wrong, the person who feels guilty whenever they rest, the person who can't sit still without feeling that they should be doing something and should be productive 24/7. And I genuinely think that this is one of the biggest reasons that people still struggle with manifestation, because it's not that they can't attract something amazing, it's that they haven't yet become the version of themselves who feels safe living there permanently in that state. Now, that really landed with me because It made me remember that manifestation is all about creating a new normal. So today I want to dive into that feeling of why we keep returning to old versions of ourselves and why our brains and our nervous systems are wired to pull us back to what's familiar, even when what's familiar isn't actually making us happy. And most importantly, how we can stop treating our dream life like somewhere that we just occasionally visit and instead make it feel more like home? Because I honestly think that if you understand that one concept, it could potentially change everything for you. So, what was it that actually changed while I was away? Because the more I thought about it, the more I realised it wasn't just that I'd gone somewhere sunny. Because plenty of people go on holiday and plenty of people spend the whole week glued to their work emails as well, don't they? Plenty of people might sit by the pool but never really switch off because their mind is still back at home. And the sunshine helps, like of course it does. I'm not gonna say it doesn't because it bloody does, but it isn't the full story. So what really changed for me was the way that I was showing up every single day. So I wasn't waking up and immediately reaching for me phone. I wasn't measuring whether the day had been successful based on how many orders had come in or how many podcast downloads I'd had overnight. I wasn't constantly thinking 3 steps ahead. For once in me life, I wasn't living in tomorrow. I was living today. And that's when I had a bit of a lightbulb moment, because I don't actually think most people have a manifestation problem. Most of us just have an identity problem, and I've said this in a few past episodes now. But before you start shouting at your speaker or whatever you're listening to us on right now saying, "No, I've definitely got a money problem," just stay with us for a minute because I promise this will make sense shortly. So think about how often we do all the manifestation techniques. So we visualize, we script, we write affirmations, we meditate, we use our crystals. We get ourselves feeling amazing, don't we? For 20 minutes, we genuinely become the version of ourselves who already has the life that we're working towards. But then life happens. So somebody might send you an awkward email, or you might have an argument with your partner or your boss. Or your car needs repairing, or a bill lands through your door that you weren't expecting. Your Instagram post might completely flop after you've spent all night bloody making it, and before you know it, you've slipped right back into the old way of thinking. And that's not because manifestation didn't work, it's because your identity was never changed. So you visited your future self for a little while, say 20 minutes or so, but then you moved straight back into that old version of you. You didn't keep it up. Now, the easiest way that I can describe this is like visiting a show home, you know. If you have ever gone to visit some new houses, you'll know exactly what I'm on about. You know, when you walk around one of those beautiful new build houses, everything smells incredible, there isn't a single thing out of place, it's all been like, you know, zhuzhed up, and the decor is absolutely amazing, the cushions have all been karate chopped to an inch of their life, and it's like the whole house has been perfectly arranged by someone who clearly doesn't have a toddler. And you just find yourself thinking, "I'd absolutely love to live somewhere like this." So, for half an hour, you can picture your life there. You imagine cooking in the kitchen, or sitting in the garden, or watching films in the living room. And it feels real when you're inside it. But then you leave, and you drive home, and you put your key in your own front door, and then you carry on living exactly where you've always lived. And I honestly think that's what so many of us do with our future selves. We visit them for a short while, we imagine being them, we admire them, but then we quietly move back into the identity that we've been living in for years because that's what feels familiar. And the really frustrating part about that is that your brain actually prefers familiar over better. It does. It prefers being in a familiar state than a better state. Now, most people assume the brain's job is to make us happy or successful or fulfilled, but it really isn't. Its primary job is to keep us alive and safe, and one of the easiest ways that it does that is by encouraging us to just repeat what's familiar because it already knows that it's safe. So put it this way: if you have spent 10 years worrying about money, that worrying just starts to feel normal. If you've spent years doubting yourself before making every decision in life, then that hesitation has become your default setting. If you've always believed that success has to come with stress, then your brain is gonna start treating stress as evidence that you're doing something productive. And that is why people can finally achieve something that they've dreamed about for years and years and still feel unsettled. So they'll hit the income goal, or they'll buy the house, or they'll lose the weight, or meet the partner that they've always wanted,, and then within weeks their mind starts looking for the next problem. So nothing's gone wrong, they're simply experiencing the pull of their old identity trying to drag them back into that state of what's familiar. And honestly, I think once I started to get me head around this and understand it a bit more, so many things in me life have started to make sense because it made us realize that creating a new life isn't just about changing your circumstances, it's about becoming somebody for those circumstances to feel completely normal within. So if that's true, then I think the obvious question becomes, how do you actually change your identity? Because I think this is where a lot of people unintentionally make life much harder than it needs to be. So I think like we all assume, don't we, that changing our identity has to be this huge dramatic transformation. So we tell ourselves that from Monday we're going to become a completely different person, or we're going to wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning and we're going to go to the gym, we're going to go for a swim, We're going to meditate for an hour, we're going to journal, drink 3 liters of water, eat salads all day, and never procrastinate again, and somehow become the most disciplined human being on the planet overnight. But then by Wednesday, we start eating a family-sized bag of crisps, wondering where it all went wrong. I've been there, I've done that, I've worn the fucking t-shirt. We have all been there, haven't we? The problem is your identity doesn't change because you make one massive decision. It changes because you repeatedly cast votes for the type of person that you believe yourself to be. So I love thinking about it like this. Imagine there are two jars in front of you, and one is labeled "the old me" on the left, and the other on the right is labeled "the future me." So every single decision that you make throughout the day is like dropping a marble into one of those jars. So when you say that you'll go for a walk and then you actually go, that's a marble in the future you jar, 'cause you're doing something for the future you. When you tell yourself that you'll meditate for 5 minutes and then you keep that promise, another marble goes in. When you have a difficult conversation instead of avoiding it, another marble. When you choose to rest without feeling guilty, another marble. Individually, those decisions don't seem life-changing. They almost feel too small to matter. But after weeks and months, one jar, or the one on the right, that's gonna start becoming much heavier than the other, isn't it? Now the funny thing is, most people are waiting until they feel like the future version of themselves before they start acting like them. So they'll say, "I'll start showing up confidently once I'm more confident." Or, "I'll believe in meself once I see some evidence." Or, "I'll relax once I've got enough money." Or, "I'll slow it down once the business isn't so busy." But for me personally, I've found it's the other way around. So what if confidence comes because you repeatedly do confident things? Or what if abundance starts feeling normal because you repeatedly make decisions from a place of abundance? That was one of the biggest lessons that I brought home from Greece. Nothing extraordinary happened while I was there, don't get us wrong. It was, like I say, it was an amazing holiday. It was lovely to get away with me partner and me son. But nothing extraordinary happened while I was there. It was a very chilled holiday. I didn't suddenly become a different human being because I stepped off a plane. There wasn't something magical in the air that only exists in the Mediterranean. The difference was that, without even realizing it, I'd spent a week casting votes for a different identity. So I slept when I was tired through the day instead of just staying up answering emails. I sat and watched the sea without convincing meself that I should be doing something more productive. I ate slowly instead of rushing. I laughed more with me son. I laughed more with me partner. I spent absolutely hours every single day playing with me little boy without thinking about what I needed to be doing afterwards. I was proving to meself over and over again that I could be somebody who wasn't constantly rushing through life. And that's the bit that really hit us. Because there is absolutely nothing stopping me from casting some of those same votes now that I'm home. Maybe I can't, you know, sit overlooking the sea every morning. Newcastle, where I live, has got many wonderful qualities, but crystal clear turquoise water isn't one of them, unfortunately. But I can choose not to look at my phone the second I wake up. I can eat breakfast without scrolling. I can go for a walk because I enjoy it, not because my watch tells me that I haven't hit enough steps today. I can spend an hour with me family without mentally writing tomorrow's to-do list in me head. Those things sound incredibly ordinary. In fact, they're almost disappointingly ordinary, aren't they? But identity isn't built through extraordinary moments, as I said before. It's built through ordinary moments that you repeat so often that they eventually become who you are. And I honestly think that's why so many people stay stuck. They're looking for one giant breakthrough that's going to change everything in their lives. When in reality, their future self is just quietly being built by hundreds of tiny decisions and tiny marbles going in the jars that nobody else even notices. So every time you make one of those decisions, you're teaching your brain that you're saying, "This is who I am right now." Not, "This is who I hope to be one day." You're saying, "This is who I am." And that distinction might sound small, but I genuinely believe it changes everything. So as I've been settling back into normal life over the last few days, I've been asking myself one question over and over again. Every single morning I've been asking myself, how do I stop this becoming just another really nice memory? Because if I'm honest, like I said, that's what usually happens. We come back from holiday full of good intentions, we tell ourselves that we're going to slow down more, spend more time with family, stop checking our phones so much, and finally get a better work-life balance. But then 2 weeks later, we're wondering where that version of ourselves disappeared to. Now, I'm here to tell you, they didn't disappear. We just simply stopped choosing them. And I think that's quite an empowering thought as well, because it means that version of you isn't locked away in a hotel room somewhere waiting for your next holiday. They already exist. You experience them. You know what they think like. You know how they make decisions. You know how they respond to situations. You've already met them. The challenge is just bringing them into your everyday life. So as we were on the flight home, I was making a list. Not of all the things that I wanted to achieve over the next year, but of all the things that Holiday Mart did so naturally. So it wasn't a list of goals as such, it was a list of behaviors. Because holiday Mart, he wasn't constantly checking his phone. He laughed more. He wasn't rushing every conversation because he was thinking about the next big thing. He just sat outside with a coffee, drinking it instead of replying to emails. He played with his little boy without half his attention being somewhere else. He trusted that everything would still be there tomorrow. And as I looked down at that list afterwards, I realized that none of those things required me to actually book another holiday. So they didn't require more money or more success or more time even. They just required a bit more intention. And I think we massively overestimate how much of our circumstances shape our lives and massively underestimate how much our habits shape our identity. Because your life isn't really built in those big moments. It's just built in those quiet ones. It's built in how you spend the first 10 minutes after you wake up. Or how you speak to yourself when something doesn't go to plan, or whether you choose to be present at the dinner table or whether you're mentally somewhere else entirely. Now, those tiny moments don't feel important while they're happening, but they are quietly becoming your life. And that's why I don't really like the phrase, you know, "fake it until you make it." I'd much rather say something like, "practice it until it becomes familiar," because that's exactly what you're doing. You're practicing being the person that you want to become. So every time you choose gratitude over panic, you're practicing. Every time you choose presence over distraction, you're practicing. Every time you choose to trust yourself instead of spiraling into that overthinking pattern, you're practicing. So eventually your brain stops seeing those behaviors as something that you're trying to do, and instead it starts seeing them exactly as who you are. And isn't that really what manifestation is all about? It's not desperately trying to convince the universe that you're worthy of the life that you want. It's more becoming somebody for who that life feels completely natural to. And I think that's what I'll probably take away from this holiday more than anything else. It wasn't the sunshine or the million gins that I had every single day, or even the incredible food, although I'd happily eat Greek food every day for the rest of me life. It wasn't even the beautiful sea. It was just the reminder that the life that I'm trying to manifest isn't just waiting somewhere in the future. Pieces of it are already available to me today. Not all of it, of course. I'm not suggesting I can magically transport the Mediterranean to the northeast of England. If I could, I'd bottle it up, I'd sell it, it'd be here right now. But I can choose to bring home the calm, and I can choose to bring home the presence and the patience and the gratitude and that slower pace. Those things don't belong to Greece, they belong to me. So even just today, Wednesday, as I record this, today as I record this, it's half 7 at night. My little boy has just gone to bed. This is the first time that I've opened me laptop all day today. Nothing today needed urgent attention. I thought, I'm gonna give myself the day off. It was my little boy's achievement award ceremony this morning at nursery. I went, I watched him, he won an award. It was lovely to sit there and just clap for all the other little boys and girls that were winning their awards as well. And it was so nice when he stood up on that stage and he looked out and he saw me. I actually had a few tears, in fact. After that, I needed to buy a plant pot. I went to B&Q, I went to The Range, I bought a plant pot. I then took my son swimming with me. We had a beautiful little swim in the swimming pool. We played a few games. On the way home, he was singing away in the car. I drove a longer route to get home just because he was quite happily just singing in the back of the car, and it filled my heart. It was lovely. So right now it's half 7. I'm going to finish recording this podcast episode. I'm going to answer the emails that are urgent, and everything else is going to wait until tomorrow. I'm going to spend some time with Johnny tonight downstairs. So, before we finish this episode, I want to leave you with one question, and I would genuinely encourage you to spend a few minutes thinking about it after you finish listening. Who did you become the last time that you felt truly happy? Who did you become the last time you felt truly happy? So think about it. Maybe it was on holiday. Maybe it was when you first met your partner. Maybe it was during a period where your life just felt a bit lighter. Don't think about what you had. Think about who you were. So, how did you speak? How did you think? How did you spend your mornings? How did you treat other people? How did you treat yourself? And then ask yourself, what is one thing that that version of me would do today? Not next month, not when life's less busy. Today. What is one thing that that version of you would do today? Because I have a feeling that your future isn't created by that giant leap. It's created by enough ordinary days where you just keep choosing the person that you're becoming over the person that you've always been. So I hope that you found this episode beneficial. Thank you so, so much for listening. As always, if you have enjoyed listening to this episode, I would absolutely love it if you would leave a rating or review because it really does help the podcast reach more people. And if somebody popped into your mind while you were listening to this episode today, send this episode over to them. Send it to a WhatsApp group. Send it to your favorite Facebook self-development group. You never know, it might be exactly what that person needed to hear. So until next week, take care of yourself, keep choosing that future version of you, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode. See you soon, guys.

Bye!

Most people don't realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions pulling details about you from public records and the internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web.

But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app, you get a VPN, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity theft insurance.

All backed by 24/7 US-based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or even just a VPN. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today at aura.com/safety. Protect yourself now at aura.com/safety.

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