Austin Maser and friends attend Midget Mania wrestling in Georgia, bid $150 for a trash-can lid and $350 for a shirt, and Austin pays $3.50 to get hit in the head with it. He pitches his sales course throughout, claiming it pays for itself in VIP tickets.
Chapters
All right, you got it, dude. There are no spices. Where are the cheeps? Somebody stole them. Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's cheeps? I was trying to.
Okay guys, we're pulling up to Midget Mania. The goal of tonight is to get body slammed by a midget. Playing the part, dressed up as Ramses from Nacho Libre. Ramses is number one, and we'll see if we can't pull this off. But, uh, operation: get body slammed by midget. We're curious to see what types of people show up to this. Like, what type of demographic are we gonna run into? Redneck? We gonna run into like Hispanic people, midget people? Do they go to this stuff?
We'll see.
It's just like picking a neighborhood. You don't know who's gonna be behind that. Yeah, you never know. You never know. But I have a feeling we're gonna run into a lot of rednecks here. Okay, now take off your card. He stole all my fucking money off my Cash App and my bank account. This is wild.
Oh my God.
Let's go! Dude, there is all kinds of different people here. There are people that are dressed up like it's prom. Like, this is how we did our 25th anniversary. It's a good event. Let's go! How you guys doing? What's up? First timers?
Absolutely!
Okay, you ready? Yeah. Okay, let's go, dude.
The VIP sold out.
There we go, bro.
I think they're about to beat each other up.
I need you right now to get my fucking lookie out of that locker room so I can beat that lookie JoJo's ass. Let's go! Give it up for Little Joe Dirt! This isn't real, dude. This is so good. Oh my God.
Well, they're actually boxing, dude.
Little Joe Dirt! Yes! Oh dude, this is going to be the best video ever. What's up, Loganville, Georgia? Y'all ready to see some midget violence? Corner, he stands at 4'2", 118 lbs, with a reach of 18 inches. Damn. Stands at 4'3", weighs 128 lbs. He is from Mansfield, Massachusetts. Give it up for Little Joe! All right, ring that bell, baby! Let's go! Let's go, Joe! Oh my gosh! They're probably pissed off now. Oh, it's charging up! You got to knock him out! Get out of his way! Oh, let's go! Take him out! Take him out! And the winner is— so that being said, bring out my brother from another mother, Pimpin' Ain't Easy, Money Mike!
Well guys, speaking of money, if you want to make a lot of money, then you'll buy my sales training course. I know this episode has nothing to do with selling, but dude, I mean, if you want to be able to afford $60 VIP tickets one day, you'll buy my course and you'll invest in learning how to get better. And you could live a lifestyle just like this. Super redneck. Let's go!
If you want to be like Money Mike, let's make that money.
Yeah, if you want to, bro, like, how'd you get so rich, bro? I am able to afford these VIP tickets. A whole $60. $60, guys. I mean, there's levels to this game, guys. I mean, you want to start making big money moves, sit in front row at events.
Two digits, baby.
Yeah, I mean, we're talking double digits right here for this ticket. So guys, I mean, if you take this seriously, you'll invest in the course, and then one day you can sit ringside with us. What's the auction?
The trash can just sold for $1,500 and the lid just sold for $150.
That is disgusting.
I know.
No way. Well, it's donate— it's a donation, so. All right, okay, see you, bro.
Personal shirt that he's been wearing tonight, he will sign and autograph that. If you're the winning bidder, you can take the legendary Meatballs personal shirt home tonight. Who's got the first hundo for this guy right here? Who's been putting in the work? We might need to buy— I got a hundo.
50 for this guy.
We got 4 last night. I have 100. That's it, dude.
They take cards.
50, big man right there. Who's got 200? Who's got 250? Why? We got 2. Anybody got 250 for the legendary meatball? That shirt's going to be worth something someday. 250, big man. Who's got 3?
Hey, it's a business.
Wait on. 300. We got 250. Anybody got 3 for the meatball? You can't stop the worst $350.
Are you a Mexican or a Mexicant? I'm a Mexican.
Good. Who got $350? You got $350? No, you got to raise his hand. $300 going once. Yeah, $300 going twice. Austin, put your Hey, hey, hey, hey! Well, he— hey, well, he bumped my noggin! Hey, well, he bumped my noggin! Yep, that's one sale! That's a moment you won't ever have again. Wait, $350? $350, baby! And he'll bump my noggin? Well, bump noggins! So sign your t-shirt, he'll bump— bump noggins, and you're good to go, brother!
Are you out of your fucking mind?
50 gold ones! 350 silver! Yeah! Hey, I'm up! Get in here, man, this is your time to shine! Let's go! Yeah, hold up, first of all, let me get your name, big man.
What's your name, kid? The human Spider. I'm Austin.
If you would, give it up for Big Austin! $50 back to people! Let's go! He's ready, boy. People, he can put that fucker right on. He's ready. Are we ready? Ready? Oh my God! Wow, we're not liable! I know! Hold on, hold on, we are not liable. Do you take the chance? Yes! He's in it, we got to film. On your knees!
And here we go!
Man, Kenny, he got knocked the fuck out! All right, you go, go see the big man right here, 350. Give it up for that man, took the block, got the sign, shit, and he is in it to win it. You go pay Big Kenny right there in the corner, he'll take care of If you can stumble over there. That's right, baby, he's still in the game. You don't know how much longer. In the meantime, if you're ready for the second half of some more Midget Violence, give me a hell yeah, baby! Tyler, I might have a concussion. Yo, it hurts! Oh my God, if you ever wondered if dreams could come true, dreams come true! I just got smacked over the top of the head with a trash can lid right there. Beat the hell out of me. It was crazy. Your dreams can come true, baby. Your dreams can come true. I got beat up by a midget.
Let's go!
You really think that low of me? Well, I'm going to show you what the fuck boss is about tonight and get the fuck out of dogshit Georgia. Shit just got real. It was great. Oh my God! Whoop his ass! Whoop his ass! Whoop his ass! One more time! One more time! I have a concussion. Oh no! Walker, what are you doing with that baby? Oh my gosh, brutal! He got the plate with that. Oh my God, oh my God! How could he come back from a beating like that?
That concludes Midget Mania. My buddy Juan almost told me to go up in the ring, gave me $100 to get butt cheeks in my face, but we didn't do it and we volunteered some poor young guy to get up there. But overall, big win. Go midgets! Hey, Kaya. Yes. Do you want to know what's You want to know what happened?
Are you concussed for real?
I mean, the Tesla's driving me, but we're doing awesome right now. So guess what happened? So I'm— they're doing an auction for this shirt. It's like an Andy Elliott style cutoff shirt that this big fat midget was wearing, okay? And it goes up to $300, and I— and I'm like, listen, I'm like, I don't want it. I don't want to buy a shirt for $300. And I look at the guy and I go, hey, if I I do it, will he— will we be able to tap noggins with each other? And they're like, yeah, he'll hit your noggin. And I'm like, okay, cool, because he was also bald. So I pay the $3.50, I get into the ring, I take my shirt off, and then I— and then I'm like, I like—
I'm about— well, I started watching—
Leah just sent a video and I got to the point you took your shirt off.
Listen, listen, just stop. I'll tell you, then watch it. I take my shirt off, I put— I take my shirt off and I'm about to put his shirt on and I'm like, I lean over to rub my bald head against his and he goes, "No, get down on your knees right now." And he goes, "Do you consent?" And I'm like— and he picks up a trash can lid and I'm like, "What do you mean?" He goes, "I'm gonna hit you in the head with this lid." And I'm like, "Yes!" So I get on my knees in the middle ring and he goes, "3!" 3, 2, 1! He whacks the hell out of me!
Oh my gosh!
And so I do like the WWE like flop on the ground and I'll like hit my back and then it's like— Kaya, best $350 I have ever spent in my life! I mean—
I cannot believe you spent that much!
I— and oh, half of it went to Wounded Warrior. But look, here's the thing. That content. It's for the content.
For the content! Ahh!
I mean, that's what we needed.
Well, how did all your friends feel about this?
It was awesome. I am goated. We were cheering him on. I'm goated. So then— I am the goat. So anyways, at the very end, I didn't hear something and they're like, $100 to whoever wants to come up here.
It could be the person next to you.
Juan passes me a $100 bill, and I'm like, "Dude, I'll take it," and I hand him the bill.
Alright!
It's apparently to get butt cheeks from a midget in your face.
No!
So I'm like, I get in the ring, and they're like, "Alright, get down," and I'm like, "For what?" And they're like, "It's ass time!" I got you for 3 minutes!
3 minutes of beat time!
So I'm like, "No!" And I run out of the arena, and he goes, "You already paid, buddy!" And I'm like, no, and he goes, volunteer somebody then. So I volunteer Juan.
I'm gonna pick Juan.
It's my money, I ain't doing it.
No. No.
Juan deflected it and there was some other kid that told, like, he's like 18 years old. Some kid was like, pick my buddy. So this poor kid, I paid $100 for this poor kid to get get butt cheeks in his face.
Oh no.
Oh my gosh, he volunteered for it.
Oh my gosh.
Anyways, that was our night. Now we're going to the Waffle House to end a good night of white trash. How are you?
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm glad you did not go to that.
Yeah, no, I did not want to be there for that.
I love you.
Love you too.
Wow. I don't love your actions.
Yeah, dude, I mean, I just reached GOAT status for content. I mean, how many— how many people get whacked in the face with a trash can by a midget? Just tell me, how many other people have had that happen?
Okay, yeah, you know That might be a slim number.
Dude, go watch the video now and then you can call back.
Okay.
Love you.
Okay.
Love you guys.
Great success! We're eating clean. I don't feel good. He still has the concussion. That's it, folks. Welcome to Major Sales Training out here in Georgia.
