Matthew Hussey says the biggest first date mistake is committing the whole evening to one high-stakes activity like dinner. Instead, split it into three parts: start with a quick, easy-to-leave drink as a test, then move to something more engaging like bowling if chemistry clicks. This gives you control and makes the second part feel earned.
There is a fatal mistake that people make when they're planning a date. I'm going to tell you exactly what that mistake is and at the end of the video, I'm going to show you how to avoid this because this is the worst. It creates every awkward date that you will ever go on. Now, here's the mistake. When people go on a date, they create this big plan for what they're going to do with someone that is almost impossible to escape from. what would be an example of that? Dinner. A dinner date is just an awful idea for the most part, unless you already know you like the person and they like you and you already have a connection and attraction. Going to a dinner date is really a nightmare because let's say 15 minutes in you realize that you and this person have nothing in common. They just said something that you thought was completely batshit crazy and you think, oh I can't, I cannot be in this person's company for the next hour. Except, you just ordered your main course. Now you're stuck there for the next 45 minutes to an hour with this person. And then at the end of the main course, what do you do if he orders dessert? You're screwed for another 30 minutes. And it also looks kind of desperate. When you don't know somebody, when you don't know if you have attraction, and you've booked out your whole evening to see them, the message that we send is, I have a whole evening for someone I barely even know. How do we get around this? I want you to think of your date as being three compartments and how you organize these three compartments will determine how easy it is to escape, how stressful the date is and how in control and cool you look in the process. Going to dinner is like having two-thirds of the date up front. that's why it's dangerous because now 20 minutes in you can't leave. What I suggest is taking one compartment, the first compartment, and having that take place at a separate venue to begin with than the remaining two-thirds. Let's say you wanted to go for a drink in a bar. That's one-third because it's easy to remove yourself from that situation. If you want to leave after one drink because it's not going very well, you can. You can make your excuses. I need to catch up with my friends or, you know, I booked my friends, I have to go. I need to go home and get some work done. Whatever it is, use that one-third as the first venue that you go to. Now, you can save the remaining two compartments for something else. Let's say there's a bowling alley around the corner and you don't tell him about that to begin with, but the first drink goes really well and after a drink or two you say to him, you, know what? Let's go do something fun. There's a bowling alley around the corner. Are you good? I'm going to kick your ass. Let's go bowling. Having one compartment take place somewhere that's easy and risk-free serves two big purposes. The first is having an escape plan. If it's not going well, you can leave and you haven't committed yourself to the next 2 hours of something with someone that you don't really like. But the second thing, and this is more subtle, it shows that if he's graduating to the second two compartments of the date, it's because he's done something right. He's earned it. If you had a great drink, and then you said, you know, there's a bowling alley around the corner. Let's go bowling. He's going bowling with you because he feels like you've had a good time and now spontaneously you're saying, let's go do something else. In your mind, you already had an idea that you might be able to do something else with him. By the way, that planning is key, right? You don't want to be stuck having a drink in a bar and have no ideas of where to take this date if it's going well. But it's showing him that This is arising from the fact that he's done well and he's earned it. You haven't just given up an entire evening to someone who you don't know just because you're doing it because you like him. The point is divide it like this so that you don't put all of the pressure around one activity in a date. The ideal date does one compartment somewhere that's risk-free and easy to leave and then if it's going well, you have the second two-thirds in the next place. That's it. As I said, see your data's three compartments. It's going to be much easier to manage and I'll see you next week for the next tip. I'm excited. I hope you're enjoying these. Leave me a comment. If you're not following me on Facebook right now, go to facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey. I have articles there, videos, you name it, you can keep up to date with our world. And I'll see you soon. Bye-bye.
