In this self‑help video, Matthew Hussey addresses viewers dealing with a broken heart. He frames heartbreak as a mix of pain (loss of a loved one) and fear (losing the ‘right’ person) and explains why many people feel torn between wanting to get an ex back and moving on. Hussey likens the post‑breakup state to drug addiction: the breakup is a sudden withdrawal, and any contact with the ex provides a temporary fix that reinforces the addiction. This creates a “limbo loop” where the ex’s emotional stakes stay low because the addicted person continually feeds the addiction with texts, calls, or sex, preventing both parties from feeling the true impact of the split. Hussey argues that raising stakes is essential for any meaningful change, and the only way to do that is to break the addiction by instituting a strict no‑contact period. He advises a clean break, including writing a letter to the ex declaring the separation, and offers a free guide to walk viewers through the process. The overarching promise is that a genuine break will either lead to personal healing and a better future partner or give the ex a chance to realize the value of the relationship.
Chapters
I am speaking to anyone watching this video right now who has a broken heart. When you have a broken heart, two things are going on. On one hand, you have pain. Pain that you are no longer around somebody you love. You also have fear. Fear that maybe you lost the person who's actually right for you. Now, look, I know that you may not admit this to your friends, or your family, but there's probably a part of you inside that is wondering, how do I get him back? There's also another part of you that's thinking, how do I move on? So you're conflicted internally about what to do next. What should be my next move? Well, I want you to breathe a sigh of relief. Why? Because the path to moving on and the path to getting him back are exactly the same. It is the same process to do both. But here's the problem. There is something going on inside of you that is making it difficult for you to do either of these two things. You're addicted. You're addicted to the feeling of being with that person. And a breakup is the equivalent of somebody taking away your drug at the height of your addiction. And at that point, you're so in pain and you're in such withdrawal that you will do anything to get your fix again. So here's how that looks. He broke up with you and now a few days later, maybe even a few hours later, he's already texting you. He's getting on the phone. Maybe you even go for coffee with him. Maybe one of you even goes to the other one's house and you sleep together again and you get that instant connection. Both of you get that instant gratification. The result is that you feed your addiction and he never feels the pain of having broken up with you. If you're serious about getting somebody back, you have to raise the stakes. See, people are only moved to action when there are real stakes at play. People go out and fight for food when they're hungry. People finally start living their dreams when they feel like time is running out. and people commit to relationships when they feel like there's a real chance that that relationship could slip through their fingers. But as long as you are feeding your addiction, he will never feel real stakes in the matter. So you feed your addiction and his stakes drop. All of this puts you in the limbo loop. Here's what that looks like. These are the stakes. This is your addiction. The phone calls with him, the text messages, the sex, the emotional connection. If you feed your addiction by giving in to his attempts to reach out to you to still be in your life, his stakes go down. And this happens over and over again, which is why you can find that for years on end, you can still be in touch with someone. never moving on, never getting over them. And at the same time, he never gets over you, but he still keeps using you for the validation, for the connection. You're feeding your addiction, you're getting a little something out of it, you're getting your fix, but it's not satisfying, it's not happiness, it's just comfort. But that's what people do when they give in to a fix. They give in to comfort, they give in to their addiction, and your addiction sends down his stakes. So he never feels the reality of having broken up with you. So how do you short circuit the limbo loop? with the no contact period. Now, this means making a clean break from this person for a period of time. And let me tell you this. It is never too late to begin the no contact period. He may have broken up with you months or even years ago, and you've been in a cycle of talking to him ever since. That changes today. I want your no contact period to start right now. This is one of the first things I do. I have an entire program where take people through how to get someone running back to them. And in the same program, I teach them how to move on from him for good if they decide that that's what they want to do. The first thing I encourage people to do, in fact, the first thing I order people to do is to go through a no contact period. I even tell them to write a letter to that person stating that they understand that this is now a clean break, that they're going to go on their own path, and they're going to do exactly that. I want you to do that starting today. And if you want to follow this process with me, if you want me to guide you through the steps to doing this, I have a free guide for you. I'll link it up right here. All you need to do is click through to that and find out the next steps. But please do this for yourself. I guarantee that there are people that love you right now. If you're heartbroken, there are people that love you who are telling you to do exactly this. They may not be telling you how to do it, but they're telling you to do it. They're telling you it's time for you to make a clean break and move on with your life. Your addiction is stopping you from doing that. But I promise you this, better times lie ahead if you can give yourself a genuine period of breaking away from that person, because you will either move on and find someone better, or you will give him a genuine opportunity to come to his senses and decide that you are what he really wants. I know it's hard. I know how hard this is. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Barring a health issue, heartache and heartbreak are amongst the worst pains a human being can feel. But I promise you, I'm with you. We're on the same team and we will do it together. I'll see you in the free guide.
