Matthew AI offers two ways to approach someone you're interested in: reframe social anxiety by imagining everyone wants to be approached, and use a simple opener like "Hi, how's your evening?" instead of hunting for the perfect line. Something obvious beats nothing.
I thought today we'd get back to basics. In our love lives, we still suffer so many of us from not actually having options. And the reason we don't have options is because we go out all of the time and we don't actually meet people. I think the reason we don't meet people is because we're waiting for the perfect thing to say. We sit there, we look at someone we want to talk to, and we try and think of this ideal way to go and approach them, to go and talk to them, and then we psych ourselves out. Think about it this way. Everyone is trying to feel like they fit in somehow. We're all a little nervous about being vulnerable, about someone coming over and making a fool of us or us being embarrassed. So instead of allowing themselves to be open and warm, people go out and they have this kind of mean demeanor, which is what happens when we go out at night and we see all these people that look kind of threatening or intimidating. So often that's a cover-up. and I like to think if we put on these emotional x-ray vision goggles, we would actually be able to see what everyone in the room is really feeling, which is, I'd quite like someone to come and talk to me, or I wish I knew more people in this room, or I wish I had the confidence to go up to that person over there. I like to go out wearing those emotional x-ray vision goggles because it allows me to see through the front of other people and allows me to feel less threatened by other people when I'm thinking about going and socializing with them. and of course if I can go and socialize more, I'm gonna create more options. So that's a little psychological twist we can put on it. The second is a practical tip, which I know many of you have heard from me before, but I think we need to hear this at least once a week. Instead of thinking of the perfect thing to say, think about actually just going out there and saying the obvious thing. Whether it's hi, how are you? How's your evening going? Or if it's in the daytime, fine, how's your day going? Whatever it is, find something really obvious to say because if the choice is between saying something obvious and saying nothing, we have to say the obvious thing every single time because at least the obvious thing can lead to something. But saying nothing is a fool's hope. Then we're simply waiting on someone else to do something and we all know how that goes. Most of us spend 24 hours a day waiting for things to happen to us and then complaining that we never have any real options in our love lives. So two things, put on those emotional X-ray vision goggles, see through the fronts that people have when they're kind of mean and intimidating and know that we all feel a little vulnerable when we go out socially. And secondly, use that psychology to say to yourself, I just need to go out there and socially do the obvious thing. And the obvious thing very often leads to something more clever. You have to start by saying the obvious things, 'cause it's when you say the obvious things that you come up with better things along the way. Before you go, next week I'm going to take this video a step further. So I want to actually make this open-ended because I know one of the big reasons people don't get results or they don't have options is because they don't meet people in the first place. The second reason they don't get results is when they do meet people and they have these fun flirtatious interactions, they don't close the deal by actually exchanging details with someone. So next week is all going to be about how to exchange details with someone even if you only met them for 60 seconds. And by the way, I'm on tour right now. I'm in Chicago. We just did an event really, really exciting the tour so far. I know so many of you have been to see me already already. If you are in one of these cities I'm about to mention and you don't have tickets yet, now is your chance. I am still going to Dallas, Washington DC and Los Angeles. So get your tickets now. We'll link up at the end of this video and underneath in the description. I can't wait to see you in person, give you a giant hug and hopefully hear a little bit about your story. I'll see you soon.
