In this exclusive interview for Shape magazine, dating coach Matthew Hussey sits down with his boxing trainer, Martin Snow, to translate three core boxing concepts into strategies for handling fear, rejection, and ego in romantic relationships. The dialogue unfolds around three "boxing tricks": (1) Don’t overthink your punch – treat each action as a personal signature and act authentically rather than striving for a perfect, imagined move; (2) Celebrate the punches you take – view being hit, rejected, or disappointed as valuable feedback that builds resilience; (3) Kill your ego – shed the identity and self‑image that hold you back, focusing instead on the immediate task, whether it’s attacking in the ring or engaging in a relationship. Throughout, Snow and Hussey draw parallels between sparring and dating, emphasizing presence, listening over reacting, and the importance of mental and physical preparation. The conversation ends with calls to action: visit Trinity Boxing Gym for training and download Hussey’s free guide to improve love life.
Chapters
Hey, everyone, I have something special for you today. Shape magazine recently came to me and said, hey, Matthew Hussey, why don't you have a conversation with your world renowned boxing trainer, Mr. Martin Snow, and talk about some stuff that would help our readers. It was a great conversation. I then said to Shape, hey, Shape magazine, this stuff would be useful for my community too. And they were kind enough to allow me to share this exclusive conversation with you too. So without further ado, here is myself and Mr. Martin Snow. Enjoy. Hello, everyone at Shape magazine. I am Matthew hussey, creator of howtogetheguy.com the world's leading dating advice for women. And I am here with Mr. Martin Snow, legendary boxing trainer, who also happens to be my boxing coach here at Trinity Gyms. I'm excited to be with you.
I'm excited to be with you.
We thought we'd do something together where we would bring your knowledge of fighting. Yes, my knowledge of attraction and dating and love and bring it together to talk about how to bulletproof yourself, your body and your mind so that you're not crippled by fear or, or the fear of rejection.
Done.
So here's my first point. Tell me what you think of this.
Okay.
All right. You taught me, when you were training me in boxing, you taught me, number one, don't overthink your punch.
Right?
You, you saw me trying to second guess exactly what punch to throw and throwing the perfect hook, throwing a perfect jab instead of, you know, practice form. But don't get so obsessed with it that you never throw. It's your punch, right? It's you. So you can't do it wrong because it's yours.
Yeah. And it's got your name on it, your signature, your fingerprint. Fighters have fingerprints. So the they teach you, this is how you sign your name. Okay, but if everybody signed their name, the same forgers will be out of business. Everybody's got their own thumbprint, everybody's got their own signature. It's specific to you, so go out there, be yourself. The one thing in life you can't screw up and everybody does, is just be yourself.
And I think it's that fear and that impossible standard that people have in their minds that stops them from even throwing a punch.
Gotta be perfect.
The second thing I wrote down was celebrate the punches you take. Because I think people are so afraid to get hit that they forget that there's actually a value in the experiences you have, even when they're negative ones.
Yeah, you need to get hit just like you need to get Disappointed. You need to get your heart broken. You need to, you know, that's what makes us resilient. You can't go through life. People want to go through life. Bubble wrapped. You got to put. You got to bulletproof.
And that's why people choose safe partners. That's why they choose someone that they can walk all over, but someone that can never hurt them because they're afraid of being hit. You once said to me, dating is sparring, right? You go and get your heart broken. Like, be it like you're not, you're not made of glass, and you condition.
Yourself to take a punch. It's not like you just walk in there, okay, I'm gonna, you know, you have to mentally and physically prepare for that.
Sum up for me the kill your ego concept that you've said to me before, which I found so powerful, because when you said to me, all of that fear is your ego. What does it mean in the boxing ring to kill your ego?
It means you have to. Whatever identity you have, whoever you were or whoever you thought you were has to die. Because if that person walks into the ring, they will not walk out of the ring. So when I step into the ring, I don't know who I am. I literally don't know who I am. All I see is a guy over there who wants to take my head off, and all I can focus on is attack. That's all. I have no ego.
But that to me is great because then you're not focused on. This is going to be embarrassing if I lose. And instead putting the focus on what is it I want to do, what's the impact I want to make? And it's the same in a relationship, right?
Yes.
My partner did something today that made me jealous, you know, or whatever. Now I'm going to, you know, I want to make them jealous. That's ego. Oh, now when I get competitive in my relationship, that's ego.
I always ask people when they're boxing, I said, when somebody's talking to you, do you listen to what they're saying or you thinking about what your reply is going to be? And you will be surprised how many people when that I think about what's my reply. And they're not even listening to. So in relationship, they're not reacting to.
What'S actually going on. They're not reacting to the punch that was thrown. They're just going in there. Do you know, this is what I'm gonna say with my punches, but they're not actually reacting to what's happening.
They're not interacting.
So don't overthink your punches. Learn to love the punches you do take and kill your ego. I've been Matthew Hussey, this is Martin Snow. Come to Trinity Boxing Gym, either in LA or New York to see Martin. And if you want some help for your love life from me, I have a free guide for you@3secretstolove.com that's literally where I give you three things you can do today to transform your love life, no matter where it is or what state it's in. I will see you there. Martin, thank you so much.
I appreciate Matthew. Always great. Always great. Thanks, kid.
