3 Secrets to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Last

I am in Cyprus. You are all over the world. Got me thinking we're sort of in a long-distance relationship right now and I get a lot of questions about long-distance relationships. Can they work? What are the secrets to having a great long-distance relationship? So I thought I would do a video specifically dedicated to all of you wonderful people who are either in a long-distance relationship or just on the edges, on the periphery of a long-distance relationship, wondering whether or not to dive in. There are three big secrets that I want to talk about today for a long-distance relationship. The first is surprises. So how might you do this? Well, if you're always communicating by WhatsApp or Skype, even sending an email is going to be more powerful. I feel like a lot of the time we don't email because we think we have to write an essay to someone. Even if you just wrote them a couple of lines by email, think of the feeling someone gets in their gut when they're not used to seeing your name appear in their inbox and then all of a sudden they get an email from you. It's a different feeling so it creates that spark again. Writing letters is another good one. I know it's a little more difficult than an email but hey, once in a while writing a letter is really sexy and will absolutely surprise your partner and make them feel amazing. It has your handwriting on the page. Think of that, it's your real touch that has met with the page that is now meeting with their touch when they hold the page. That's really romantic. Don't lose it. Presents, if you can send a gift to their house, that's also really exciting and sexy. Even just taking pictures during your day and sending them pictures so that they have pictures of you going through your day, so that you're not always ending up talking to them at the end of the night or first thing in the morning, but instead you're actually letting them interact with your day and showing them a kind of montage of your day is a really lovely thing to do. So the first tip, is create the unexpected moments in your communication with them. The second one is develop your other senses. Now, I kind of use the analogy of a blind person. A blind person develops heightened senses in other areas because they don't have their sight. So now everything else becomes strengthened. The same can be true of you in your long-distance relationship. You can't be standing next to someone. You can't touch them. You can't caress them. You can't have sex with them. You can't kiss them. You can't have all of those intimate moments. But what you can do is develop the other senses. For example, the level of communication and connection you have, how well you get to know each other, how good you get at reading each other. You might actually be able to develop the more important parts of your relationship with someone while you're away from them than someone who is next to their partner. There are plenty of people that are in a relationship where they watch movies, they have sex, they kiss, they watch movies, they have sex, they kiss, they eat together. they're standing next to each other, they hold hands, but how well do they really know each other? Many times couples who spend all their time together get on the phone when they're apart and they have nothing to talk about. They realize they have no connection. Maybe one of your senses is down, but the other ones can get better in this moment. So take advantage of that and frame that in a positive way because it can be a positive thing. Also, Skype sex doesn't hurt, so don't rule that out. It's important. Jameson, we should do a video at some point, how to have Skype sex. That's not you and me. No, no. Me and Jameson don't have Skype sex. That's, I don't want anyone getting that impression. The third tip is this, and this might just be the most important of all of them. You have to have this team mindset, almost an us against the world mindset that You and I can deal with any obstacle that comes our way. You and I are bigger than anything that could come our way. There isn't anything bigger than us. There's no problem or obstacle bigger than us. There's no person bigger than us as a couple. We can deal with whatever comes our way. You have to have that instinct in your mind. Now, of course, you want to make sure that your partner feels the same, right? It's worth having that conversation. Look, here's how I feel about you. I feel really strongly about you. I'm willing to go through the difficult moments to do this with you because I feel so intensely for you. I just want to know that you feel the same, that you're on the same page because I wouldn't want to do all of that if you're not there with me. That's a very legitimate conversation to have and it's an important one because you don't want to be investing all of this in a long distance relationship if your partner isn't there with you. But if you've established that you and your partner are in the same place in that way, don't be afraid of what everyone else says. Everyone else might tell you, oh, you should be out, you should be having fun, you should be doing your own thing, you shouldn't be in this. But people don't know your relationship. If you're in it and it feels right and this person is important enough to put in the effort for, then you have to trust in your gut there and go for it, even if there are hard times ahead. But with one caveat, the two of you have to create some light at the end of the tunnel. The obvious light at the end of the tunnel is the day that you're actually going to come together and be together. The other light at the end of the tunnel might be a trip that you're going to take together or a time when you are going to see each other, a time time when it's going to be better than it is now. Hold on to that light at the end of the tunnel and celebrate it together and work as a team to get there. There might be days where you're weak and he's strong. There might be days where he's weak and you're strong. But that's why you're constantly helping each other up in different moments and acting as a team. You two against the world. Lastly, I'll say this. I have had my share of long-distance relationships. and they're really hard. There's no sugar coating that. Long distance relationships are hard. So if you're gonna do one, if you're gonna have a long distance relationship, make sure that you feel the person you're having it with is worth it. And you're doing it because you really do feel a genuine connection with this person and not just because you're lonely where you're at in life and you have a scarcity mindset that says you couldn't get anyone where you are right now. And lastly, for the most part, I don't regret any of the long distance relationships I've had, even though for the time I was there, I was monogamous in a relationship with someone who was far away for a long time and then it didn't pan out. I still learned so much from that relationship and I'm still glad that I had that relationship. So don't beat yourself up if that relationship happens to end and you turn out to be wrong. Take the lessons you can take from it, learn what you can learn, And then as you go into your next relationship, you'll be stronger and wiser and more able to love the next person. I love you all. I will see you soon. I hope you enjoyed this video. I'll see you in the next one. Take care.