Matthew AI breaks down three resolution mistakes: taking on too many goals at once, treating New Year's as a one-time reset instead of a monthly check-in, and quitting after one slip-up. He pushes 1% daily improvement and reframing setbacks as temporary.
All right guys, the new year is officially here. January 5th right now, I hope you're excited about 2014. I also hope you've had a good start. If you had a false start and you feel like the first five days of the year haven't really got off to that amazing level of change that you wanted, don't worry, let's begin today. New year is a time when people expect a lot of change of themselves. It's also the time where we feel under pressure to change things and upgrade our life. Everyone around you is talking about new year, new you. Every magazine is coming out with some variation on that headline. TV is talking about it, everyone's got resolutions on the mind. But I believe that there are three big mistakes people make in the new year that very often are made worse by the advice they're given. The first big mistake that people make is they feel like they've got to take on a huge number of resolutions in order to justify themselves in the beginning of the year. They take on a level of change that's not sustainable. And then in doing so, they end up getting so overwhelmed that they can't do anything, they get paralyzed. So now they get to the 15th of January and they've already broken all of their resolutions because they were too ambitious in the first place. The key in the beginning of the year is the same as the key to change the rest of the year. Make a 1% shift. Our lives are changed more by the one routine we stick to than the 10 new ones we try and take on. So in the beginning, don't be pessimistic, but also don't be over ambitious. Choose a change that you know you're gonna stick to because if you stick to it in two weeks time, you're gonna have more confidence and more confidence is gonna lead you to even greater change. The second big mistake that people make is in thinking that New Year should come around once a year. Now, I know that sounds a little crazy because of course New Year does come once a year, but we shouldn't have that psychology. It should be the case that we think of the New Year as happening on the first of every month. In other words, there are 12 times in the year when we reevaluate our lives, hit the reset button, and think about the changes we want to make. That should happen every 30 days. It's crazy to think about it that once a year I really reevaluate my life and hit the reset button. we should be doing it regularly. So think of this period right now as a 30-day period and you're gonna do this same exercise at the beginning of next month. And the third big mistake people make is thinking that when they fail one of their resolutions that means absolute failure. See, I believe there's a way that dumb people fail and there's the way that smart people fail. When dumb people fail they have a moment where they go back on their resolutions, where they mess something up and they go well, I failed now, might as well give up that resolution. When smart people fail, they decide that that failure was an anomaly, just a different moment where they departed for their resolutions, but it doesn't mean ultimate failure. In other words, if you decided to be sociable as a resolution, you know that you don't get out enough, and when you do go out, you don't talk to anyone new. If you go out and for the first hour of that night you mess up that resolution and you don't talk to anyone, that's fine. The smart way to deal with that failure is to say, Ah, I knew failure would be a part of this. Failure is normal. I knew I couldn't get through the entire year never departing from this resolution, but I know I can be sociable in the second hour of this night. The night is not lost. I'm going to get straight back on the horse. Fail like a smart person. Don't fail like a dumb person when you don't follow through on your resolution. That's it. Three mistakes that people make, but that is not the end of this process, okay? I want to make sure that you make this year incredible. I also want to make sure that you get your love life in shape in January of this year. I know that you don't want it to take 12 months. You want results right now. I've put together something that I've told you about in the last video that I really want you to go through and do. If you haven't got my 2014 Guide to Love, go download it now. It's at shortcuts2love.com and in the guide I outline the six shortcuts to love in 2014, six ways you're gonna kick it into shape. I told you before, think of it like your adrenaline shot for your love life. so go check out that guide. It's at shortcuts2love.com, download it, let me know how you get on, and I will see you in the next video.
