3 Tricks To Do Anything You Want

Jameson was scouring for a good comment recently that we could answer. He's got one. We have a great question for you today, except we don't know the name. He forgot to get the name. Bloody obvious, but Jameson forgot. Matt, what advice do you have regarding being comfortable with doing whatever you want to do and not letting others' opinions stop you? There's lots I'd like to do, like go on a meditation retreat, for example. But I guess I don't, I just don't, because I think others, family, friends, would judge me or think I'm being pretentious or something? How do I get over that? That is a good question. There are times when we all care too much and we wish we didn't. We wish we could just get over that fear because those thoughts of others that make us feel insecure very often stop us from growing. They make us make the decision to stay comfortable instead of get outside our comfort zones. So what's the alternative? We can't not grow. We can't just stay where we are. We have to keep pushing forward. So I'm going to give you three practical tips today to manage your emotions when it comes to what other people think. Very excited about this because it's super practical. I want you to write them down and remember them the next time you have a situation where you care too much. First one is internal. I want you to get right with your identity. If you know who you are and what you're all about and how rounded you are, this thing that you're doing right now doesn't have to define you. In this example, it was a meditation retreat. Well, the fact that you go on a meditation retreat doesn't have to define you. Other people might look at you and say, why are you doing this woo-woo crap? Like this hippy-dippy stuff? You're gonna go on a meditation retreat? That doesn't have to define you if there are plenty of other things you do in your life that have nothing to do with this. For me, if I go and do a ballroom dancing class today, I might have certain guy friends that would look at me and go, you,'re gonna do ballroom dancing? I don't care. There were plenty of things that I do that have nothing to do with dancing, and I know who I am, so this one activity doesn't define me. It's just something that I'm interested in doing. right now. The second thing is take the energy out of their argument. See when people come at you and criticize you, they're coming from a place of emotion, that's energy. So they're going to attack you and they're going to say, what? You're going to go and do this meditation retreat? That's you. This spiritual crap. You're going to go and do that. They're going to come at you with energy. Now rather than meet them with energy and how do people normally meet you with energy? They defend. You start defending yourself with energy. All that does is amp up the temperature and give them more fuel. Instead, you want to take the energy out of it. So they say, what, you're going to go and do that spiritual thing? You go, no, you know, I'm just curious. I'm just curious. Defend your curiosity, not the thing itself. Because people get into this habit of over defending something. If you are interested in this meditation retreat, but you've never done it, but then you start saying, well, no, I think it's a great idea because science has shown that people actually improve their well-being and their productivity and their ability to be in the moment when they go and meditate. You don't have to do that. You haven't done it yet. You don't even know if you like it. So don't over defend it. Instead, just defend the trait that is making you do it. Maybe your curiosity. If you were starting a new business and people started criticizing your business idea, you don't have to defend your idea to the death. You don't even know if it's a groundbreaking idea yet or if it's going to make you a million dollars. You just defend the trait that's making you do it. In this case, it might be your ambition. Well, you know, I'm just, it's part of my ambition. I want to do this. I have to do something. you know, I want to start you you want me to be happy, don't you? You want me to do something with my life? Well, I'm, you know, right now I'm just directing my energy towards this. Who knows what's going to happen? The third tip is to align yourself with the attacker. I say attacker in the loose sense. This could be a family member, but someone who's criticizing you. So rather than butting heads with them, actually come and stand beside them and look out in the same direction and agree with them on a couple of points. Let's stick with the meditation retreat. They might say, you really, you want to go and be with all those crunchy people, those meditation people for a week. and you go, you know what? I was a little worried about that too. I hope it's not too kind of head in the clouds stuff, because it may not resonate with me if it is, but I'm hoping I'm gonna learn some cool stuff as well, even if it is like that. All the energy they had, it not only takes the energy out, but it uses it in your favor, because now you're starting to stand beside them and look out in the same direction. So align yourself with some, not all, but some of their arguments, because then they have nothing to argue with. What can they argue with? Someone who's just curious, someone who is into experiences, who wants to try something even though they acknowledge that there could be drawbacks or things they don't like. How do you attack someone like that? That's a completely reasonable human being. So these things not only, you know, internally will get you right with whatever you're doing, but at the same time will help defuse any situations where people are on the attack, they are criticizing, it will help you manage your communication with those people better. That's it. I hope you enjoyed it. Go use these. If you don't write this stuff down in these videos, I want you to go back and write it down. Unless you write it down, you'll never remember it. It's very, very important. As cheesy as it is, a dull pencil is better than a sharp mind. I will see you soon. If you're not, by the way, if you watch these videos and you don't comment, I want you to start commenting. Leave us a comment. Let us know what you're doing. Let us know a situation recently when you cared too much what other people think. In fact, let's do that. What was a situation recently where you cared far too much about what other people think and in the next time you won't. Next time that situation comes up, you won't let that happen again. Leave us a comment. I'm excited. And by the way, don't just leave a comment here on YouTube. Come to the blog and leave us a comment. Underneath you'll see a link, it's howtogeettheguy.com/blog. Leave us a comment there as well. Come join the community. I'm excited about this. We put so much effort into this every week. I want you with us, not just watching. But interacting, we have this great community of people here and I'm very proud of it and I want to perpetuate that to make it even better. So thank you guys. I'll see you in the next video.