3 Ways To Snap Out Of Love Life Depression

Matthew Hussie here, coming to you around Valentine's Day, a day that seems like it should be the most relevant day of the year to this show. I don't care about it one iota, but I thought you might. So I'm gonna give you three things that I think are important to remember, because ultimately, what is Valentine's Day other than a day that makes us feel like Things should be going better and they're not. And I think that's kind of a sad thing for us because sometimes it can disrupt the progress we actually are making by making us feel like we should be further along the way already. And that's a very destructive thought pattern because it stops us doing the things that are helpful. So I think there are three things that I want to give you today. The first one is stop comparing. Stop comparing. Comparison is in this respect, the mother of Valentine's Day depression. You look around, you see friends who are in relationships. If you don't see friends who are in relationships, you see commercials constantly portraying people in relationships and talking about gift ideas for the person that you love. And that comparison can make us feel like we're somehow behind and that we need to catch up. Life just doesn't work like that. We, we have to get out of this idea that somehow everyone else is further along the way and it's going to take us forever to catch up. Do you know what's amazing is someone could have a breakup tomorrow and you thought they would five years ahead of you and they go through a breakup tomorrow and they're in the exact same position you are. In fact, in some ways worse, because after a five-year relationship, their breakup doesn't, for the moment, put them at square one. It puts them in a place of heartbreak and withdrawal where they're not even ready yet to meet someone else. Whereas you right now, if you met your dream guy, you'd be ready. They're not even ready for that right now because they're so heartbroken. So it might be another six months or a year before they get back to a place of strength where they can go out and be in the same position you are. Your best friend who's in the best relationship of her life could break up tomorrow and all of a sudden feel worse off than you and feel like she's got a year before she's where you are. How crazy is that? Life isn't this straight line. Life goes in circles. It's cyclical. And we have to stop these comparisons and realize that any one of those people that you're admiring or jealous of or wishing that you were in their position could be back in your position tomorrow. Comparison is absurd in this case. The second thing, I want you to keep taking risks every day. It is truly incredible. You know that song, what a Difference a Day Makes? It's so true when it comes to your love life because you can have, you could be completely depressed and then today you go out, you take one small risk, you start talking to someone and that person asks you on a date and all of a sudden you're skipping and life is amazing. And you, maybe that date turns into a second date and you realize, oh my God, it was all because of that small risk that I took. Things change in life so quickly. You have to go out and engineer that change with small risks. So don't sit there, looking at yourself and going, oh, nothing's happening for me. It will only happen if you go out there and take the small risks you can create the life that you want, but it takes just a little bit of work. Lastly, focus on the real asset. And the real asset is you. The time and energy that you put into yourself, into your hobbies, into your health, your body, feeling confident, feeling sexy, the time that you put into having a great life, all of that will pay off, even if you don't think it's paying off directly right now. You know, I've mentioned this in a radio show before, John K, I think it was wrote a book called obliquity about how success is created by all of these indirect factors. Well, success in your love life is also created by all of these indirect factors, like how fit you feel right now, how healthy you feel right now, because that has a knock on effect on your confidence, how well groomed you are right now, because that has a knock on effect on your confidence and how sexy you feel, how much your life is in order right now, how much you're doing the things you love, how much you're investing in your own skill sets, all of these things help you to become a more rounded, more interesting, more self-sufficient person. All of the things that make someone truly sexy in a relationship and make us want to hold on to someone. So focus on the asset. Don't put your power outside of yourself. Anything you do to make yourself better is also going to make your love life better. Maybe not today, but tomorrow, next week, or next month. That's it. Stop comparing, take risks every day and focus on the asset, i.e. you. Keep going out there and doing all the great things you're doing in your life. I'll speak to you soon.