This is a YouTube video titled "5 Secrets I'd Tell My Daughter... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)" created in May 2018. It features a conversational dialogue between Matthew AI and Matthew Hussey, discussing advice for teenage girls about relationships, self-confidence, and personal growth. The conversation includes personal insights and tips aimed at young girls but also applicable to adults.
My mum's here. We're having a bit of tea, aren't we?
We are. Cheers.
Cheers. You only found out you were doing this video a couple of hours ago.
I did.
I ambushed you.
You did.
And I said, you,'ve had three sons.
Mm-.
But what if you had a daughter? What would you say to her, especially now that you've learned so much about what boys are like from raising me and Harry and Stephen? All right, what's your first tip?
Don't be afraid that boys and men are all the same as you. They get scared, they get frightened, they fear rejection, they're vulnerable. So everything that you feel, they do too.
They're not as tough as they pretend to be.
They are not. So do not be afraid, be brave and be strong.
All right, I got one. Instead of Worrying about impressing those boys. Focus on the things, the skills that you're working on that make you really interesting. Whether it's your grades at school or the hobbies that you really love, the sports that you really love, the books you love reading, the games you like playing, the friends you like hanging out with. Focus on those things because those things make you really attractive. And they're the things that are still there. Long after you've left school, you know, the skills that you learn and the grades you get and the hobbies you have, all of those things are still going to be there in 10 years.
That's right.
But the boy you're trying to impress in biology today, he's not, you're probably not going to know him in 10 years.
No, you won't even remember them. No. I mean, the boys that I liked at school, I barely even can remember their names. Now when I think back on them.
Where are they now?
Nowhere that I would want to be.
Bunch of losers. Okay, what's your next point, Mum?
Don't, you know, feel pressured by a young boy into doing anything, absolutely anything that you don't want to do, because a lot of time they'll try and pressure you into doing things that you feel uncomfortable with.
I think as a young teenage girl, you're far more likely to regret moving too quickly than you are moving too slowly.
Exactly.
Because you have so much time.
You'll look back and you'll think, why did I give so much to that person?
And also, you know, I think sexually at that age, women, you know, young girls, they feel pressure. It's like you're the one who's left out if you haven't kissed a boy yet or you haven't done whatever, you know, on an intimate level and they feel like they're not part of that club 'cause other people are talking about it. But you won't, you're not gonna regret moving slowly at that age 'cause there's so much time and you can catch up in five minutes whenever you want. Get good at socializing with everyone at school without any like intent to make something happen. If I look back on myself at school, I was focused on that one girl that was super popular or had something about her, everyone wanted her, and I was so focused on trying to impress her that I just became weird around her. So just get good at talking to everybody around you. Don't worry about the intent, I need to impress that guy.
No.
Just get good at talking, like take all of that pressure out of it and just say, I'm just going to socialise with people.
Yeah, and actually if you got to know the other people, you might find them more attractive anyway, because they're actually nicer people, probably, than the one you've put on a pedestal, and you actually don't even know.
Well, that's an interesting point, so yeah. One final tip, what would you say? There's teenage girls out there listening to this everywhere.
I'd say actually, if you want to work on anything, work on yourself. Be the best version of you. and the best you would like to be, not what someone else pressures you into trying to be, or you think that person would like, or you change something about yourself. Actually look into yourself and think, this is the best version I'm putting out there.
Do you think a lot of young girls do that? They change?
I think they do. I think they change to accommodate someone, and it doesn't even matter whether it's a boy or whether it's a parent. Sometimes a lot of young girls... Or.
Even the cool girls at school, that.
They'Re trying to impress. You know, you try to be like them and you try to be a sheep.
I think that comes back to that point of looking at things on a longer timeline. 'Cause sometimes at school, you're into certain things, hobbies, whatever that aren't deemed cool by the mob rule at school. And you might not be cool this year.
Yeah.
Like that's not the aim. The aim is to do you. really, really well.
Yeah. And whatever you want to do.
And attraction kind of circles back around, I think.
Yeah, it does. When you look back, even when you was at school, a lot of the cool guys who thought they were cool are actually absolutely not where they want to be now. They don't seem, they seem pretty ordinary.
Whereas, you name some names.
No, some of the guys now that you went to school with, who you all know, They were really geeky and now they're ultra cool.
I really want for you guys to pass this on to anyone that you know that could benefit from this. I think it's also true that there isn't a single thing that we've just said that doesn't apply to adults too.
No.
As we talk from our very learned adult selves, we also can, I can hear areas where I could be better in these areas right now.
That's right. Yeah, it applies to anyone.
Send this to someone you love, someone that you know could benefit from it. Mum will have you back on soon, I guess.
If I'm not too busy.
Yeah, I know. Okay. Can't get her for love nor money anymore.
I'll do it.
She'll do it everyone. We'll see you soon.
