Matthew Hussey breaks down five reasons men avoid commitment: thinking they're in their prime, being only 75% sure, idolizing bachelor role models like James Bond, blaming bad timing, or sensing she doesn't take herself seriously. He argues that a woman's belief in her own value determines whether a man treats her casually or commits.
Questions this video answers
10 years.
www.matthewhusseryretreat.com
Chapters
How long have I been doing this for now, Jameson? 10 years. 10 years. And there is a question that has come up every day of every year for that entire decade. Why won't he commit? This video gives you five reasons why the guy that you're seeing won't get serious yet. The first four are going to be about things that are to do with him. The fifth reason is going to be to do with you. So pay attention to that fifth reason because that's the one that you have control control over. Let's begin. Number one, he feels he only just hit his prime. Look, it's a fact that most men weren't good with girls when they were back in high school. So when they finally hit a stage in their life where they suddenly feel like they have a lot going on for themselves, they're validating themselves on their career position, their power, their money now, all of a sudden they feel like it's their time to be the popular kid at school who gets the attention. You breaking up with me? But what about my dream of dating a doctor? I'm sorry, Elaine. I always knew that after I became a doctor, I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor. Immature? Yes. Is it a less than evolved position? Yes. Should you wait around for this guy? Absolutely not. Number two, he's only 75% sure about you. That means he spends his time inside his mind doubting whether he should actually enter into a serious relationship with you. Or maybe he is in a relationship with you but spends his whole time debating whether he should stay. That's a tough thing for you to hear. I know it's a tough thing for any of us to hear. But the fact is this, if he's 75% sure about you, it makes him 100% wrong for you. Number three, his role models in life are all eternal bachelors. It's James Bond, who in every movie has a different Bond girl, who at the end of the movie dies, so that in the next one there could be a different Bond girl. Or Don Draper from Mad Men, who has five different women going at any one time. Chances are, until he starts admiring more three-dimensional, evolved men, his views on commitment won't change. Number four, bad timing. It could be you met someone who's about to go traveling for the next two years. It could be that he's at an age where he says he's absolutely not ready to settle down at that age, but whatever the reason, he sees it as bad timing. And even if you think he's the right guy, I promise you, the right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy. The fifth reason he doesn't take you seriously is because you don't take yourself seriously. Most people in life don't think of themselves as good salespeople. But that's actually not true. I believe most people are great sales people when they talk about something they're passionate about, something they believe in. When someone says I'm terrible at sales, it's usually because they worked a job somewhere where they sold something they didn't even like. But you watch people on a sleepover where they're trying to decide a movie, when they know that there's a great movie that everyone should watch, they get passionate about it. Oh my God, you have to see this movie. I cannot believe you haven't seen it yet. You've got to watch it. People get excited about it because they believe in that movie. They love that movie. It's easy to sell it. Well, why do people find it hard to sell themselves? Because on some level, they don't believe in the product. When you go into a marketplace and someone says, that's a hundred bucks, and you say, I'll give you 70 for it. The reason they accept that deal is because it wasn't worth a hundred in the first place. But when you have a product that's a thousand bucks and someone offers you 800, you say, screw you, this is worth a thousand, not a penny less. because you believe in it. When you don't believe in your own worth, that's when you allow men to barter you down from what you really want, a beautiful, committed, fulfilling relationship, to some bullshit second-rate casual dynamic that you never wanted in the first place. If we don't get taken seriously, that is a direct reflection of how seriously we take ourselves. And how seriously we take ourselves is a direct reflection of our internal core confidence. Look, I can't make every man want what you have to offer. no product does that and nor should it. But what I can do is make sure that when that guy comes along, that man that you're truly compatible with, that that man gives you what you're actually worth because you are confident enough to demand it. The most intensive, transformative training program I ever created for developing people's self-worth is my retreat program. And on that retreat program, it's not about teaching you how to sell yourself. It's about teaching you how to genuinely believe in your own self-worth so you don't need to go out there and sell yourself to a guy, every part of your character and your behavior and your language exudes your worth and that is when people really start to take you seriously. If you want to come and join me on that program either in person or at home if you can't make it to the live program go to www.matthewhusseryretreat.com try it out for yourself and maybe for the first time in your life stop learning a superficial technique and start learning the deep work of transforming your inner confidence because once you change that, everything follows. I will see you there. Click the link and thank you for watching.
