Matthew Hussey and Simmi Singh break down five texting patterns that signal he's not interested. They cover response times, effort level, and what his messages actually reveal about where you stand.
Well, he sounds like a cool guy.
He is. And it's so nice to finally be excited about someone you know.
Oh, is that him? You could text him back.
Not yet. He made me wait four hours, I'm making him wait seven.
For God's sake. Look, we've all been there. We're messaging someone, we're excited to reach out to them and they take forever to text back. I don't want to give the impression that if someone takes a little time to text back, that should be a big problem. Busy people lead busy lives. Present people aren't addicted to their phones where they're looking at them every second of the day. But what's weird is if they never text back in the moment. So sometimes when you text someone, there should be this frisson, this excitement that I got a text message from them, I'm going to text them right back. It's fun. That's what it should be. It shouldn't be that every time you reach out to someone you end up waiting hours or days to get a response. For God's sake.
It's not like that. We text all the time.
Simmy, what is it? The colours. Look at the colours. You're in the blue, mate. I coined the term being in the blue to describe the stream of messages on your screen that shows mostly those in blue that are from you. Some of us, because of our confirmation bias, we're looking for romance, think that if someone just messages us back, that's confirmation that they are actually interested. But it's not just about whether they got back to us. It's about the ratio of investment between the two of you. You're in the blue, mate.
I'm not in the blue. Crap. I'm in the blue.
Look, don't freak out. It's not like he only texts you in the nighttime when he's three cocktails deep, bro. Right.
Right. It's not like that.
Jameson wanted to call this the Buzzard, which I didn't like cuz I just don't think it's catchy. But why did you want to call it the buzzard? Because it's a pun and it's a visual metaphor. It's a pun, cuz what, your phone buzzes? No, because the guy is out. Buzzed. Oh, he's buzzed. So it's kind of a double pun. Because he's buzzed and he's buzzing your phone and he's an opportunist. He's out and about, circling around, looking.
For the easiest way to have a good night.
Okay, the Buzzard, you know the score. He's out and about, he's enjoying himself and that's the time he chooses to get in touch with you. He never gets in touch with you any other time. He ain't that interested in any case.
I happen to know he likes me.
Because he treats you right.
Because even if he doesn't text back, he still likes my Instagram pictures.
Right then. Ah, today is so weird. If a guy interacts with you on social media, but can't respond on your phone, run for the hills. Because he either isn't interested but is just keeping you hanging on with some interaction, or he's a child. All I can say is he must have been pretty great in person for you to still be interested.
Well, technically, we haven't met up in person yet.
You haven't met in person yet?
It's not like that. I mean, he has been dropping hints that he wants to meet up.
Oh, he has? Oh, that's great. Can I see?
Yeah. Thank you. I actually needed that.
You're welcome.
Do you think a hard reset?
Look, if he's the kind of guy that keeps texting you without ever asking you out, shame on him. If you're the kind of woman who keeps texting him back even though he never asks you out, shame on you. Thanks for watching, everyone. I'm here with Simi Singh. Go subscribe to her channel. She has really funny videos. The links are in the bio. Thanks, Simmy, for being here.
Thanks for having me. This was awesome. Thank you. It's been great, actually. It's been lovely. It's been brilliant. It's bloody brilliant.
That's very offensive to my people.
While there might people too.
