Matthew Hussey shares five strategies for getting matches to ask you out on Tinder, focusing on authentic messaging and conversation techniques that move from the app to real dates.
I was just swiping. I get it. People are loving Tinder these days. They get to go about their everyday activities at the same time as swiping till their heart's content. But the problem is not enough of these swipes are actually turning into real dates. So here are five tips for turning Tinder messages into actual meetups. Number one, this one is a profile hack. So this is something you can do in your actual profile to make it more likely that he asks you on a date. You say, always on search for the best gelato in town. Men are looking for a conversation starter besides just the way you look in a profile. So when you give them something to latch on to, you also give them a concrete idea for what to do with you. Number two, Act like a human being. On Tinder, people play it like it's a video game and they have no human emotions and when we don't feel like we're dealing with human beings, we lose our empathy and we stop treating them like human beings. If you want to be treated like an individual, like a person, like a person that's worth taking out and spending time with, we have to start acting human. How do you do that? In your messages, you say things like, I'm spending time with my niece today, it's so amazing. Or, Me and my sister are going out tonight, she just got to town and I missed her so so much. Or you could say, I went and saw a scary movie last night. I'm still frightened of it. Little weird scared face emoji of some kind. Essentially, anything that shows you to have a little more depth. Friends, family, human emotions, vulnerability. These are the things that actually reveal more about us. Tip number three, show him that he stood out to you. What that means is actually pay him a bit of a compliment. Say to him, you seem like one of the few people on here that actually sounds like a human being. LOL. We should exchange numbers and see if we get on over the phone. By the way, when you say we should see if we get on over the phone, you're giving him an extra challenge to deal with. You have to impress me on the phone before we go out on a date. You can also be a bit more direct and say, Here's my number, we should grab a coffee sometime. You seem like an interesting guy. You seem like an interesting guy is a nice embedded compliment, but at the same time, it's not like you're saying, I know enough to know you are an interesting guy. You just seem that way. But I'm now giving you a reason to want to meet up with me. I've given you a positive identity for you to fulfill. Number four, give Tinder addicts a bad name. That means when you've been messaging back and forth with a guy for a while, send him a message and say, okay, gotta go, headed out with friends. You should text me sometime so we don't become those weird Tinder people who never actually talk. Wink. His likely response is to say, I don't have your number. Then you can fire it back to him and he now gets to follow up by not being one of those Tinder people. And number five, remember, cool people don't make a big deal out of meeting up. So if you find yourself messaging back and forth incessantly on Tinder, all you need to say is this: Well, feel free to say hi in person sometime. I'm around before meeting friends later tonight if you want to grab a drink. Otherwise, catch you soon. See, the thing about that is it shows that he's not even a blip on the radar of your week. You have so many things going on that he's not that important for you to make a big deal out of how to meet up. You just throw it out there casually. Look, Tinder is something that most people play like it's a video game, wasting hours and hours on something that's utterly fruitless. It's not a video game, it's something that's there to create opportunities for your actual real life. Just like any dating website or app, it is just a tool. So instead of using it to waste hours of your precious life, use it to build your life and have real experiences and see what might come of it. Be bold, be authentic, don't be afraid to ask what you want and certainly do not suffer Time wasters. I'll see you next week.
