Matthew Hussey and his brother Stephen share unconventional date prep: read books or listen to podcasts for conversation material, schedule something fun after the date, exercise to boost mood, finish meaningful work beforehand, and keep it low-key by not over-discussing it with others.
So I wanted to do a video today with my brother, Stephen Hussey, famous writer of Get the Guy, the best-selling book.
I'll take it.
Weekly creator of blog articles on howtogettheguy.com/blog. We wanted to do a video about how to actually prepare for a date. And it's not the predictable ways that people always prepare for a date. Putting on makeup, putting on your best outfit, getting in your head about what you're gonna say.
Yeah, and when you keep dating someone, the second, third, fourth date, It's all what's gonna keep that interesting and have great conversation, great fun is gonna be all the stuff you do in preparation each time.
In between.
Yeah.
Alright, let's go through our list.
My number one is read a book. Be reading a book all the time. I don't care if it's non-fiction, I don't care if it's fiction, whatever it is. Have something that you can bring to the table where you're being fed with ideas.
I like that. I'm gonna add to the list. listen to a podcast. Not everyone's a reader. Like 30 minutes of listening to a podcast a week.
Yeah, if you literally have like one or two cool facts you can talk about, it's just, it's not like you have to go and show off all your knowledge. It's just like what will inspire great conversation. So next one is have something fun scheduled after the date. So within a couple of days after, have something cool you're already doing. If you've got a Thursday date, Have something cool you're doing on Saturday or on Friday night because otherwise it's like, there you go, oh, what have you got on the weekend? On the date? And it's like, oh, I haven't really got anything planned.
Kind of sounds a bit lame. So have something planned already after the date.
I also think though that just having something planned means this isn't the main event in your week. Yeah, and someone said once that one of the secrets to happiness is having two fun things coming up in the future because you have one thing, so you're excited about it, But then the second thing, so when the first one ends, you still, you're not disappointed, you have something exciting coming up.
It's making me think, I've got two exciting things coming up, I think.
Exactly. Then you're happy. You're a happy man.
Work out, or do something physical. This isn't, that's good. That's why we brought you on. This isn't about being in shape, it's about moving your body so that you feel good, so that you feel sort of proud that you've done something physical. I know if too many days in a row pass where I don't do something physical, it affects my mindset, it affects my mood. So just working out or playing a sport, doing something that moves your body that makes you feel proud is a great way to set yourself up for the day.
Tell the truth though, do you do 50 sit-ups before a date?
No, I don't think I've ever done that. Right, I mean, how many dates am I going, like how many dates am I going on to the beach? If I was going to the beach for a date, maybe I'd do that.
Third date, would you do 50 sit-ups?
What are you insinuating about the third date?
Shirtless.
We've learned a lot about Steve's third date.
Okay, this one might seem a little counterintuitive, but on the day of the date, do some meaningful work. So do some good work on the day of the date.
This actually, by the way, could be my favourite one.
I think what happens is, When people go on a date and they think, I need to just be in a fun mood all day, but what makes you feel good on the date is the feeling like you're doing something, you've been doing something important and you feel kind of complete going on the date and you feel like, Ah, I've done some really important stuff today so I can just have fun now. Like, this isn't a big deal.
There's literally a philosophical argument for this, that when we lose ourselves in something of meaning and richness and we work hard on something that matters to us, crowds out the minutiae of everyday anxieties and stresses and the worry of will this person be attracted to me? Will they like me? There's no room for any of that. There's just I did something really meaningful today and then you carry that sense of meaning and passion into the date.
And it's like this isn't a big deal now. This is just taking someone out for pie and ice cream, you know?
You do pie and ice cream dates.
It's like wholesome 50s madmen. who wouldn't say yes to pie and ice cream?
I bet you, well, let us know in the comments.
So my final one is don't talk to everyone about the fact you have a first date or second date coming up. Like your friends, family.
Yeah, like, you know, co-workers if you've.
Got a date on the Friday and on the Monday, you're spending all the time building up, talking to your colleagues. What's it going to be like? Where's he taking you? Kind of gets to the day and it's a It's a lot of pressure.
If you do that, it's kind of like you go on the date five times before you've actually had the date. Right. You're comparing the real date to the date that you and your friends have been talking about.
Right, yeah. Whereas it's like you want all that fun spontaneous energy when you get on the date, so the less you talk about it and build it up, it's like you can go on the date and it could be a nice surprise. Like you've been having all this fun in your week and then you go.
Oh, and I met a really cool guy. And I had a good date. I like that. There you go. One of my favorite quotes is if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. And just like having a great gym session is about the week before where you sleep well, you eat well, you do the right things for your body so that when you go to the gym you can work out hard, it's the same thing for a date. When you read or listen to interesting ideas or work hard, do something that has meaning to you, do all of the things we've talked about, In the run up to the date, that's what then allows you to go on a date where you bring your best and you're at your most relaxed.
And probably have a shower at least once a week. If you have a date that week.
And by the way, if you're watching this video right now saying, I don't even get dates, I have a program called Attract Any Man. It will show you how to create more dates than you know what to do with. I'll leave a link at the end of the video. Try it out. And as always, I will see you next week.
Thanks, guys.
