A Behind-the-Scenes Look at My Crazy Life…

I.

Have one question for you.

How you feel? How you feel?

25 sitting on 25 meal.

I'm not 25 and I'm not sitting on 25 mil so everything about that is incorrect.

Feel a little stressed?

Yeah you could say that. I'm a little stressed. so how long do you need for this? Seriously? Because I can't. I need to be in bed soon. Where are we? We're in my house. Or my parents house. In Essex, outside of London, tomorrow we're going to be going into London to the O2 Centre. The O2 Arena is like the Madison Square Garden of London. It's a huge state-of-the-art venue that, like when Jay-Z and Kanye came to London to perform together. They did the O2.

So.

I'm fucking terrified.

Why am I here?

You're here because it's the start of a new year. It's the biggest event we've ever done by far. We have an enormous number of people coming and I felt like we're not getting enough out of what we're doing. You know we sit and make these YouTube videos each week and they're fun but they're not they don't actually reflect how interesting this weird life is that we lead. And I think the interesting parts are often left out. Like we do the video and give advice and then the camera stops and the interesting part happens where we actually go and do the living part. So I want it, I want people to see the living part of what we do. And who knows what the hell it will be or become or whether it's just a one-off or not, but It's for now we're filming us in London on this crazy journey and we'll see where it takes us. Who won? That big me. Killed me.

15 seconds difference.

How long you been training Matt?

Well, just when he's back in the UK for probably the last six months, is it, Matt?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This man's the trainer in the UK.

And he has the best gym in.

The UK as well.

So, James, you watch some of Matt's videos?

Yes, I watched one last night, actually. The one hour and five minute one.

Get a bit of light motivation.

Learning a bit about impact.

One hour and five minutes of me is better than one hour of me. Don't cut that. We can't show everything. You need people going like, he's such an idiot.

Not, he's a fucking idiot. Do you know what I mean?

You look like you want to say something. Tell me a little bit more about actually creating content with your family. What does that mean like in the house? Is it normally like this? What's it?

Well, you've seen some of it already with my family. It's like a whole family of content creators.

I want to give a concrete example.

You can link that to a text.

Example of being quite certain of your staying.

We're gonna highlight that principle here, but it's probably going to come in the texting.

Use language of attraction, not just language of maybe affection, if you like, something like that.

When a guy does something nice for you because he's trying to be that, like, provider type or then, you know, protector or something, he's trying to be a man for you. And your response is, that is so sweet.

Yeah, it's like you just. Yeah, it.

Like, that was not.

It's like I'm cute little boyfriend.

Yeah.

Like, oh, my God.

So cute.

Like, no.

Yeah. Yeah.

Shut up.

It's like you're the little kid who drew a picture of her in the coloring book.

Yeah. That's a good way.

That's a good.

That's, like, a nice.

You're like the kid who drew his teenage babysitter. A drawing of her.

Yeah.

That's so cute.

We use that example.

You're like, I'm a kid.

I love when someone says about my brother, you know, oh, someone once when I think he started writing the blog, like, oh, Matt, will you stop trying to, like, ram your brother down our throats? Like, you're the coach, you're the one who's doing all of this. And I always find it funny because my brother's far more qualified than I am. Like, there's a PhD from Oxford.

He wrote the book.

I mean, I wrote it with him, but Steve wrote the book. Even though I had to fight to have his name on the COVID It.

Shouldn'T be like a written phone call. I think that's the point itself. Texting is its own thing.

She's not trying to like, be aggressive.

And she's not trying to make something happen or force it where it's not, right, you know, hang on, I've got to take this, you're on Kelly.

Hello?

Well, it's funny, it's funny because people say that to me a lot. And my success was actually here in England, not in America. The only reason that I got the chance to go to America was because we already had a booming business here in the UK. You know, I got my book deal here with Transworld before I ever got a book deal in America. I was on a TV show here before I was ever on TV in America. You know, people will always say that people are more cynical here or they're not as into self-improvement, but I think that's to some extent becoming more and more outdated. I think people are much more open in England these days. They may not always show it outwardly, but actually when you watch my seminar, you know, if you came to the O2 this Saturday, and by the way, you and your team are welcome to, if you did come, what you would see is, you know, 1500 women, many of them, or most of them, British, jumping around and having a party with a bunch of people they don't know.

Matthew Hussey's rise to fame as a life coach has been meteoric. In just over four years, he's helped millions of women try to find love, from high-powered Executives to celebrities like Christina Aguilera. Matthew's book topped the New York Times best sellers list in 2013, and he's been handing out advice in some of America's the biggest TV and radio shows ever since. Well, Matthew's here now. Look at you getting all those women energized and enthused. I know this works beautifully for you in America. Over here, do you think it's going to work equally as well?

It started here. Has it?

Did it start here and then bounced over there?

We only went to America because we were a success here.

Seriously? So the methods that work in the.

States work over here?

It started in London. We went to Manchester, we went to Dublin. We've been all over with this.

And it works for women everywhere.

So what is it all about? What is your technique? If you could boil it down, how does it actually work? What are you giving women that no one else is doing?

Well, we split it into find the guy, get the guy, and keep the guy. And what I really strategize in is giving women practical tips, because I think they're tired of platitudes. People are sick of reading or just be yourself. Because okay, fine, I'll be myself, but what does that mean I actually do today? What should I do differently in my life today if I'm myself? And many people say, I've been myself for 30 years. Indeed.

And I still haven't got the guy.

So what do I do now?

Live TV.

She's like that in real life as well.

No one's ever liked that. Like in America, everyone's always more ruthless or harsh or always trying to get something. Do you know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean.

I fucking knew, Jameson.

What worries you about tomorrow?

Um... Bigger crowd, it's like a dream venue to be playing. It's not just a bigger crowd but there's people I actually know there. There's gonna be a lot of people I grew up with, you know, like my cousins, their friends, lots of girls that I grew up with are gonna be there. Which is gonna be weird. It's gonna be weird. They knew me when I was a very different person than I am now. You know, still the same person, but they knew me when I was a lot more shy, a lot more reserved, and awful with girls. They knew me when I was like that. So it's gonna be strange seeing them. I think they're gonna be harder to impress because they they know me. So I feel like it's always harder to impress the people that know you. Like my mum was the hardest person in the world to impress in a way, because she like, if. If the people you know think you're believable, then you've really done a good job. That's how I feel.

Where are we headed, Matt?

To the office for a big team meeting.

How often do you do.

This is the first one in a while. It's that time in the company now. It wasn't, you know, before it was like a little family of people. Now it's got bigger and bigger. It's time to actually start thinking bigger. So we wanted to get everyone together to do that.

Who's your lovely driver?

My mother.

Don't mind, do you?

What's that?

Driving?

No, I love driving. I don't mind being your little taxi. I've done enough years.

And you have to. Otherwise she'll be out on the street like that. Here's what I love about us. What we create, none of it we say because we think it's going to be popular.

None of it we say because it's.

Aligned with the latest movement in the self-help world.

Because, oh, everyone's into the secret right now. Let's start talking more about the secret and law of attraction.

We don't do that.

We say the same things that we.

Were saying six years ago.

You look at the retreat, how much of the retreat program really did change?

It got better, but how much of the content actually changed?

The principles are still the same.

I'm still saying some of the same.

Catchphrases and things that I used to say six years ago because they're truths.

And the truths that actually help people.

And they're things that I say because.

They'Re intuitive to me and because they've worked for me.

And that's why we attract people, is that authenticity.

We as a company can't have integrity unless we live by the advice that we give our clients. And that to me is about congruence. It's about being the same things as we're asking everyone else to be with not just me, but every member of staff in the company.

So the reason I wanted you guys.

To have this presentation, each of you, was so that we could actually figure out, okay, what are your goals? What is your vision for where you're going with us over the next year?

So that we can actually realize that.

So that we can push ourselves beyond the comfort zones we now have. It's very easy for us to stay where we are, but I think that everyone in this room is capable of incredible things. And I think that with us working together, we're capable of doing even bigger things. It's really hard to say what I think of the team without sounding contrived. And I don't know how to say it in a way that's not cheesy, but I genuinely love them. Like I have a sincere love for the team that we have. I hope that as the team gets bigger and bigger and bigger, I still have that feeling about everybody.

Alright, last thing. What would you want to tell yourself just before walking on stage tomorrow?

My dad always says to me, play the game, not the occasion. And what that means is just because the occasion is bigger and feels more pressure and everyone you know is there and 1500 people you don't know are there and you play the occasion, you're gonna have all this pressure and stress and it's gonna seem so big and you're gonna try and get it right. Instead, just play the game you know. I've been doing this for nearly a decade now, speaking on stage. I know how to do it. I just have to remember that I know how to do it. This man right here is my dad. Make some noise for my dad.

Yes, we didn't go to church, but I got blessed. We made the motherfucking holy two. I worked my ass off, but I still got blessed.

But I got just enough to get.

Off in this club and be a good time before my time is up. Hey, let's get it now.

Let's do it. Here's the amazing thing. When I started, I was doing these seminars for men, not women, in the basements of horrible, dank, dirty pubs. That was where I started in Leicester Square, in these horrible pubs that couldn't make money in the daytime, So for 50 bucks, for 50 quid, they put us in the basement and say, yeah, you can coach you and your three weird guys. You can do it. That's fine. See, here's the interesting thing about love. It's the great equalizer. It's the great equalizer. It doesn't matter how much money you have. You can still have everything messed up for you by someone breaking your heart. No matter how great your lifestyle is, it doesn't matter how well traveled you are. It doesn't matter how good life is for you in every other area. When it's not right here, it poisons everything else, does it not? How good does food taste when you're heartbroken? You don't even want food. You don't sleep right, but sleep's the only thing you want to escape. Even though love sucks so badly, It's also too good not to engage with. It's too good. It's the best. It's the best. It amplifies our experience of life. And so if right now you're in that camp of people who says, I run away from love because it's too scary, know that the alternative is so much worse. the alternative is so much worse. You have to decide who you want to be in this life. That really is what it comes down to, not to sound too grandiose, but it is. In 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, you'll look back and say, what sort of person was I? Did I hide away because some guy hurt me once upon a time, or someone cheated on me, or someone abused me, or someone didn't like me? Do I hide away now as a result, or do I go out there and Give the same standard that I want to give regardless of what standard other people give to me.

A girl that I knew when I was a teenager, one of my cousin's girlfriends, came up to me afterwards and she said, I cried in the visualization. She said, I looked at my watch once in the whole day. I arrived at 11 o'clock and I looked at my watch once and it was 5:30. She said I was mesmerized all day. I couldn't even when I went to the bathroom, I ran back because I didn't want to miss anything. And as she was saying it, I was thinking, that's how I want people to feel. It reminded me that the times when I'm happiest is when I have a connection with mastery, with actually mastering something. I don't look back on yesterday and think, what a great day, how happy I am. I think, what a great day. I have 20 different improvements I want to make.

When you're being proactive and using these openers, should you wait until the absolute hottest guy you can find before you go and do this? No, because the best way to be calm and in control and confident with the person you're attracted to is to be that way with everybody. I remember when I was a teenager, We were all dancing and then this song came on that I didn't really like and I stopped dancing and she said, why did you stop dancing? And this girl was an older girl. I was in love with this girl. All right, this girl I remember at the time, I just couldn't control myself around this person, I was so nervous. She said, why aren't you dancing? And I kind of like tried to be cool, said, oh, you can't dance to this. And she said, if you can dance, you can dance to anything. If you can dance, you can dance to anything. By the way, she's in this room. Her name is Sammy. I had a crush on her for a very, very long time. You never wanted me.

You never wanted me.

Never.

I was just awful at it. I really was. But here's the thing as a guy, often your mum doesn't tell you the right things to do to get laid.

There are these little moments where you think you've arrived and oh like, this is the excitement I've arrived and that feeling just doesn't last very long at all. You know, you can be literally two sips into that celebratory champagne and the feeling is already gone. The fun part is the journey. It's loving the journey itself, actually getting better at something, actually mastering something. And that's. That's what's exciting me now. It's not even the event itself. It's what the event has now made me want to work on for the next one.

I feel like you have to come.

To New York just to see. the improvements and to see what we do with it. Because it's not. This isn't like we thought this would be about London because it's our biggest event ever. But it doesn't. It doesn't end with London, does it?