Afraid You'll Never Find Love? You NEED to Hear THIS

Before we start today, I owe you a giant thank you to everybody who got a copy of Love Life. You are responsible for getting us to the New York Times Best Seller list. This week we came in at number three on the list, which is an extraordinary feat. And I am so grateful to all of you who have many of you ordered months in advance of the book actually coming out. So many of you ordered on the week of, I am so appreciative. This project has been four and a half years of my life. We wanted to get to the New York Times because we wanted to raise the profile of this book. We wanted to get it out there to more people. You have helped us do that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping us make this happen. This is such a crazy week for me and my team. We have been giddy all week knowing this, having this news, and I'm so excited for those of you that are hearing it for the first time. I'm so excited to be sharing it with you. Thank you. This is our win together, and you have helped me reach more of the world with this book. There is a story in the book about a person named Angela, a dear friend of mine. So many of you have read the book and have already read Angela's story, but you may not have had the chance to actually meet Angela through video. So I wanted to do something special today. In this video, video I'm about to show you, Angela was on stage at my live retreat in Florida, making the audience laugh and cry in equal measure, myself included, but is a true story of hope for people in their confidence, their ability to overcome difficult circumstances, and their ability to find love no matter what. I cannot wait for you to see this. I present to you my dear Friend Angela.

There was this one person on this program that called me up a couple of months back because she had had some things happen in her life since that program. And when she made that call, I heard it and I went, you gotta come back. You gotta come back and I need you to tell other people what you've done, because wow. And so she came back this time and I'm gonna bring her up here and we're just gonna spend five minutes just talking about what she has done since because her story is a very, very interesting one and so relevant to all of us. So, Angie, where are you? Oh, there she is. Okay. Give it up for Angela, everybody. How you doing?

Now that's 10 years or eight years now.

Wow, was it that long ago?

Yeah.

And I haven't aged a bit.

You haven't.

So you came on that program and I remember maybe a good place to start is I know there was a big event in your life. Let's fill people in on that because I feel like that gives us context for everything that we'll say after that.

So as you can see, or you might not be able to see, I wear a prosthetic. And my story is quickly that I was 23 and I was making my way home from work and life was great. I was with friends, I had a job I loved and In a moment, everything changed. I sadly was hit by a drunk and drug driver, and when he hit me in a van at 70 miles per hour, I was injured for life. And the injuries I have now happened at that moment. And the hardest thing was When my leg was taken from the impact of the vehicle, the driver stood over me and he walked away. And this is what led me to Matthew, because being in hospital and getting told you're injured, you're not going to walk again, you're not going to live independently again, we don't know if you're going to be able to have eat yourself or dress yourself. I defied that. I made sure when I left the hospital that I would walk again. I walked in crutches, but that was good enough. But my self-worth was on the ground and there was nothing around me and there was nothing there that showed me how to put that together. So I went onto YouTube. And it was one of Matthew's earlier videos. I mean that in a nice way, of course. And he was in a park. What park was it, London?

It was in Berkeley Square. Yeah, and... I remember the video. I was sat on a, nowadays we have Jameson and everything. I was sat on a bench just filming myself. And I do this, it wasn't on an iPhone, it was on like an old Sony cam.

And it was about core confidence. And I knew what I read for confidence was, you know, you read in the magazines or your friends tell you, be more confident. But I knew my confidence was on the ground more than most, because the thought that was left with me was like, how am I worthy if somebody could walk away and leave me? So I clicked on the video, I watched it, I wrote every word down, what confidence is, what the levels are. Like, I've done the same as you guys, and I still do the same thing. I watch the videos, I learn everything from it. And one of the biggest things that ladies have taught me is we share the same thing. You just we just get it, what you're saying, you know? So when I went on his website, you were doing an event down in London and it was about confidence, wasn't it? And then I went to speak to Matthew and again he was bouncing from one side to the other and it was like, this is amazing. And the ladies who I met there are the ladies who went to the retreat in Florida and we're still friends to this day and we're not friends because of what Matthew's connected us to because the journey that we've experienced and we're still experiencing and I'm still tapping into Matthew's work today because I still want to go to that next level in that next level.

So then when you, so that kind of brings us to the retreat because I remember a very specific moment on the retreat that you reminded me of. This home in Florida, there was like a mini like kind of movie room And Angela pulled me to one side and said, hey, you know, let's have a chat. We went into the movie room, we sat down one-on-one and she, and you can tell me if I'm paraphrasing correctly, but you had mentioned to me that when you were on a date.

The.

Monologue that was constantly going through your mind is, He's not gonna want me because I'm missing a limb.

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

What happened next?

Before he got to that point, we sat in silence and he said, I'm going to sit here until you tell me what it is. And I sat there and then I crossed my arms in defiance. I was like, I'm not saying. And I couldn't say because I felt so sad about that. I couldn't say because it's a guy sitting in front of me, like, can I say this? The one thing that's on my mind? And he just sat defiantly and he's like, we're going to sit here all day. It was like that pine. Scottish stubbornness was coming out quite badly. and in my head I was thinking he has to see other ladies. So the more you sit there, you're stopping him going to talk to the other ladies and allow them to have their moment and to talk about things. But I just couldn't see it. And then he said, there's nothing I haven't heard before just that you've said this week. And I said it, I think I blurted it out. And he just said in what? Just those simple words like, in what? In all the things that I've been carrying with myself, like, I was like, oh, you've been carrying this? You built it up to this big picture.

I remember looking at you and saying, how arrogant are you? You remember that?

Yeah.

I burst out laughing, like, yeah. So I never thought about that way.

I said, How arrogant are you? And she went like this. And then after, like, 30 seconds, just died laughing. Do you remember, like, just in fits of laughter?

Yeah.

And I remember specifically Angela saying she started laughing and laughing and laughing. And as she was laughing, I said, what, you need everyone to want you? Like, everyone you go on a date with has to fall in love with you and choose you. No one can reject you.

Who are you?

No one's allowed to say, I don't want you. How arrogant is that? And she started laughing and laughing and laughing, and she says, I know that is arrogant. And she started like, and And it was this moment that I remembered that moment because of the phone call that you gave me. Because you then called me, this was what you said 10 years ago, something like that?

Yeah.

You called me a few months ago and tell everyone what you told me. By the way, I also remember a moment where I also remember a moment where Angela was, we were in the kitchen, You remember when you fell over in the kitchen? And I was, oh yeah, go ahead.

So it's taken me a while, so just to give you a heads up here and with all you guys, this is pretty much the first time that I'm eating a skirt with my legs out. Wow. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Please. The Scottishness now. But it was my mom at the back. And some of you might know my special story with my mom. She's always gave me the confidence to get out there and share it, and here I am. So I'm digressing. So when I went to Florida, it was all about long dresses, something cardigan to hide my arm. And I thought it was like a fashion statement I was going with, but looking back, I was actually covering up, covering the insecurities, covering everything I could possibly do. And that morning, we were down to kitchen and I'm trying to catch up with everybody else. And I remember Steve's in the kitchen, I remember our mum's in the corner at the top of the table making sure everybody's okay. And Matthew came down and I just went, I fell. And my skirt went up. And I was like, oh no, hopefully my pants don't show. But I was more bored about my leg showing. I was more bored about that insecurity, that thing, that thing like in Chris, you were talking about this week. See that thing that's holding you back, that thing that you don't want to talk about, that thing that's there. See, since you started talking about it, oh my God, your life will go like this. It took me like, come on, winter, cheat 10 years. I took on his stuff, then I kind of debated about, I'll take this little bit, but maybe not that little bit, and I'll take this little bit, maybe not that little bit. Some of it works, some of it didn't, and as time was going on, I was like, yeah, this is taking a bit longer than everybody else. And then I thought, let's just do all of it. And all of it, again, my life opened up. And the story was the phone call that I shared with you.

So tell me, tell everyone what you told me, because this was one of the greatest phone calls I've had in these last two years.

Can I just say something about your mum before I go on? Yeah.

So.

So when I fell, my head did make a kind of a scene. And one person that came over to me was his mum. And she picked me up and she could see that I spelt something on my dress. and I can't do an accent so I won't. And she says, you go upstairs, get dressed, come back down, and I'll wash your dress. She washed my dress by hand and she hung it up. And just by doing that little thing, like feeling embarrassed and feeling like.

So.

Awkward just by that beautiful action that she'd done, and it's not a big deal, touched me and it still touches me to this day. Like, as Matthew says, as that's where his mom is. And the next day I wore the dress again because of his mom. So thank you. I'm digressing, sorry. I think I'll take after you. So the thing was, leading up to this information I was going to share with Matthew was how do I get the guy who goes all around the world? How do you reach out to the guy who's everywhere? So I thought, I'll send this email, but I don't know if you'll get it. I don't know if it'll even reach him, you know, like, and get the guy techniques, the techniques that he shares with you today. Now, if this is me, if that was there 10 years ago and this is here now, your life is going to be even more better than mine. Was I met a guy, and the second date, the first date was good. He meant for a couple hours, caught up. And the second date, as Matthew said, just put it on the table, just tell him what it is, like, get over and done with. And I did. And I was so worried when I was going to tell this guy what my accident was and what scars I've got and what I wear. that he turned around and he said the same thing as Matthew, in what? And I knew then that this is the man for me.

And.

Within, yeah, like just, and it's, was it because of what Matthew said? that this man had said this probably, but also what Matthew had taught me about myself. When I was sharing this with him, I remember before meeting up with him, if he doesn't like me for who I am, then stuff it, I'll just keep going, I'll keep going, like my worth doesn't define what his is. So, they get the guy stuff. that works.

So.

And with all, if I'm standing here and you can see what I wear, my scars, the insecurities, any insecurities you've had, I've had it. Seen it, done it, got the picture. If I can get that, you can certainly get that. And then a few months later, we went to St. Andrews, which is a beautiful place in Scotland. We went on holiday and he booked the honeymoon suite, and I was like, Wow, like, nobody's ever done that for me. And I was like, this is amazing. He said, oh, it just so happened the hotel that was the only room they had. I was like, wow, amazing. My mom knows. And then we go out for something to eat, and then he's really nervous. Like, at one point, he was shaking, and at one point, he's like, he literally said, you, want to try this? And when he said to try the food, it went and hit someone. It was like that bad, and I was thinking, I was like, could I have still got it? And then he's like that, I need to take you to St. Andrews. It's a beautiful place up there, beautiful scenery. And I was like, yeah, let's do that under the stars. Beautiful. And then he's like, close your eyes. I've got a surprise for you. And I was like, okay. And then I'm closing my eyes, and this is five minutes later, and I'm thinking, I'm going to get my tattoos. I'm thinking the worst. And then he's like, Close your eyes. And I was like, okay. And then walking with heels on sand with a prosthetic leg is really difficult. So I'm going down to the sand and I'm like trying to walk sexy but slipping. It was like, but he thought it was cute. It wasn't really. And then I just was like, wow, this is so beautiful. And look at everything you can see. And then what are you doing down there? And he proposed, and six months later, we were married. Because of you. I've got two more things to share. Just so you know, to take your time up.

No, no, no, no, no. I just can't take my time up. You can run the day today.

I think my nerves are kind of disappeared now because I'm super excited now that I'm sharing this with you girls. Because see all week I've wanted to tell you things. I've wanted to come and sit with you but I've had to kind of stay a wee bit... what's the word? Closed. You know, like in case I slipped up and I'd shared this, you know, because I'm a bit of a gab. So another thing that I shared with Matthew was My story, the thing that I couldn't speak about, the thing that caused me most torment, the most thing that I was scared about, again, this thing about the thing that's holding you back, is now for me, now I've spoke about it, Matthew got it out me, I've now started my own charity, and I now help families and children who have been hurt by drunk and drug drivers. So, yeah. But I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't experienced the retreat. I wouldn't have experienced that if I hadn't had the beautiful elephant in her presentation. I wouldn't have had to be able to do that if his mom's love and affection, like the way that she is with people, like, I'm like that now when I go and visit families, you know, just with a touch or not washing clothes. and my beautiful mom in the corner as well, like her kindness and compassion and beauty and always been there for me, you know? I feel very lucky. But it took all this time to get here. So I need to give this to you because I need to show you something. So one of the saddest things. Thank you. So one of the saddest things about.

Being.

In the accident and what she's been for you guys is like, getting told that this is not going to happen for you, like you're not going to have your life, you're not going to, it's like Matthew was talking about the moment when you look back at your life and you don't have the people around you or you don't have the things that you want. And I was told because the severity of my injuries that I'm never going to have a child. Imagine that, like you've always wanted to have a family and have a child and to have that taken away from you and to think like how do you console yourself with that? Like I don't think I could and lucky I've got the love of my lovely husband now and things like that but Matthew wanted me to come out and talk when was it Christmas time and sadly I had to go back into hospital for another operation and my.

Operation.

It wasn't good ladies. It was really hard in fact. It was life changing. Mummy can you come and see this Pauline? Pauline Stephen can you come and see this? I'm going to show you guys just in a minute but I just want you to see this reaction because they are loving here for the retreat. Has bro. I let you Sheila with Mom and Dad. Yeah. I know. Like.

So. So.

So the.

The. Yeah. So.

I'm so pleased for you. I really hope nobody told you to spoil this apart.

Why did you not tell me that on the phone?

That was really. It was really hard. Like, it was really hard. I did have work. well, I did say to him I had work on and I did have work, but it was still that way, like, we'd be safe to travel and things like that. And. But most importantly, like, what's her name? Hannah.

Hannah.

And she's so cute. It's like sometimes I look at her and I just think, wow, like, I carried you, like, amazing and. I think what I want to share with you and I hope this, you can all hear this, like if you think like coming to the treat or get the guy thing and you're thinking, oh, it's not knitting, not getting it. I don't have my goals, I don't have this. Or you might be thinking, oh, this is what I want to do. It's funny how things just change, but they've changed because you've had this experience and I'm not any different for you. My scars are different. My life experience is a bit different, but I'm just like you, I'm just like one of the girls. But I know, and I've came from Scotland two flights away, I dragged my mum here, she's now burnt. Sorry, sorry, it's a lovely sunshine. I've came this way because I want to tell you that this works. I was trying to think of a beautiful quote or something like that, but that's what I said to you on the phone. This works. There's no, like, sugar coating it. There's no putting it a pretty bow. Or if this is what your life to be better. And sometimes I started out thinking I wanted to go in this direction. This took me to this direction. But I have fulfillment in my life. in all areas, but I know that I'm going to have dips and I've got tools now as well, like I feel boosted and I've got even more tools for my self-esteem and my confidence. But I know what I've learned from you, I'm going to teach Hannah and what amazing little girl she's going to turn into. Do you know what I mean? So I want to say, thank you for listening, thank you Pauline, Mummy Pauline, thank you Steve for your amazing elephant, whoever he is. I'm with Mum there and of course my Mum, I love you. But the Cheer Blazer, Matthew.

Ladies, please can we, because Angela did not need to to come here this week and she has for us. Can we give her a huge round of applause?

Give it up for Angela, everybody.

I hope you enjoyed that story. I think that when you hear stories like that, it gives us the ability to, A, feel less alone if we feel like there's something uniquely difficult about our circumstances that are gonna make it for us to find love or have the life we want. But they also give us that sense that maybe our story is just a story. That excuse we've been telling ourselves, that thing, that reason why we say it's uniquely difficult for us and it's never going to happen for us. Maybe that is just a story that we've been telling ourselves. If Angela had told herself that story for the rest of her life, then she may have used it as a reason never to meet anyone, never to truly take risks, never to open up, and as a way to overvalue every rejection she came across. But she chose not to let that story define her, not to make it her story. Now, for anyone who really resonated with Angela and wants to know more about Angela, she has a website called thereinvention.online, where you can not only hire her as a speaker, but you can have her come and Teach the skills she learned about how to reinvent herself to your organization, your group, your community. She also works with people individually. So you'll find out everything about Angela at thereinvention.online. Go check her out. She's become a dear friend of mine over the years, and I love, love, love supporting her because the mission that she has in the world is a really beautiful one, and her skills to help other people reinvent themselves after difficult times. And for anyone who wants to attend the event of mine that Angela went to and so many others were at that you saw in that room, that is my retreat and we are holding it again this year from the 9th to the 15th of September. If you want to find out more, I'll leave a link here and I hope to see you there. All right, leave me a comment. Let me know what you thought of this video and I will see you in the next one.