In this self‑help video, Matthew Hussey outlines four core qualities he believes most men find attractive in a partner: playfulness, sexiness, nurturing, and independence. He explains each trait with concrete examples—such as goofy dancing for playfulness, subtle seductive looks for sexiness, caring gestures for nurturing, and personal hobbies for independence—while acknowledging that not every man prioritizes them equally. Hussey stresses that a woman doesn’t need to embody all four traits simultaneously; rather, she should display the right mix at the right moments to appear multifaceted and desirable. The video concludes with a promotional plug for a separate resource offering five specific phrases men find irresistibly attractive.
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This week, we thought we would get back to basics, zoom out a little bit from some of the more esoteric and specific advice, and figure out what are four of the primary traits that men are really looking for in a woman. Now, obviously, this is subjective. Obviously, not every man follows these four as their top four. But I think this is a pretty good stab at it. Number one, playfulness. Playfulness is one of the most attractive traits because life is hard enough without being with someone who is serious or the time. Someone who can be a bit light and fun and, dare I say, goofy is somebody that makes the world a little more pleasant to be in. So we look for that in our partner. That could be somebody who, when a great song comes on, they start dancing in a funny way or in a silly way or in just a cute way. It could be somebody who, when they look at you in that moment, they say, if you don't kiss me right now, I'm gonna die. The second one is sexiness. Sexy is not somebody who has to be overtly sexual. It's somebody who shows their sexual side. You can show your sexual side in a number of ways. You can show it by moving in a sexy way. You can do it by showing somebody that you desire them. That shows you have a sexual side. When you think somebody is hot. When someone's doing something that's sexy, that shows your sexy side, it can be by a look that you give somebody. You can give a guy a little cheeky look across the table that says, I'm undressing you right now with my eyes, and you don't even know it. And now he picks up on something. But you don't actually have to say that that's what you're doing. When he says what, you can go, what? I wasn't. I was just looking at you. And in that moment, there's some tension. Or you can interpret a look he gives you, and when he looks at you a certain way, if it's sort of manly and strong and there's something seductive about it, you could look at him and be like, you can't look at me like that. Not in public. Don't do that. That's bad. And then look away, turn away, get him out of your sight, because it's too much for you. Just in that moment, he feels that sexual tension, and he sees that you have a sexual side. Number three, nurturing. The person who makes you feel both loved and looked after. That's the person who, when they see you yawn, doesn't like, slap you on the arm and say, wake up, it's still early. It's the person who, when you yawn, says, long day, babe. Let me come here. Give me a cuddle. Let me come. Come nestle under my arm right here. It's like that person who's just sort of nice and warm and has that loving energy. Everyone wants to be looked after a little bit, don't they? Just makes the world seem like a better place. Like life is just one big giant hug. Now, number four is kind of counterintuitive independence. A lot of men, when asked if they were being honest, might say they wouldn't want their woman to have too much independence because it scares us. When you're independent, we get a bit insecure because we feel like you're not going to need us anymore. But the reality is when you are independent, when you have your own life, your own hobbies, things you enjoy doing, things you enjoy learning about, and you have your own strength, strength of mind, independent of him, that's what keeps him attracted. That's what keeps his desire level high. It's also, by the way, what makes him feel like he has a great teammate. Because if you can go away and be strong on your own when you come back, you can be a better leader for him as well. Because when he's in self doubt mode, when he's worried about something, when he feels like he's questioning himself or he's fearful, in that moment when you're strong, you, you can be like, I believe in you, babe. I know you can do this. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm gonna help make sure of it. You can be a strong teammate when you are independent, but when you're not independent and all of your worth is tied to him or linked to his state of mind, then you can't lead. When he needs someone to be strong, when he needs a rock. Now, this may sound intimidating, but you don't need to be all of these four traits at the same time. The key is to be the right amount of it at the appropriate time. And if somebody sees that over the course of a day or a week, you can these different parts of you, they see a multifaceted human being that they never want to let go of. Now, if you enjoyed this video and you want even more specific and practical advice, I have five things that you can say to a guy that get him massively attracted to you and in a way that's unique to you. Check it out, it's@saythistohim.com I will link it up here and see you in the next video.
