Answering Your Heartbreak Questions LIVE

Hello. Hello. Hello. What's up, everybody? We're live on multiple platforms right now. I've got my tea ready. We're gonna talk. It's Sunday. I love Sunday. I ever when people say like, you know, don't live for the weekend and I don't, but the weekends are so good. When everyone someone's like righteous about, if you're living for the weekend, your life's broken. I don't live for the weekend, but I really love the weekend. I love it so much. Just got my little routines. Got my tea and my T-Rex, my faded T-Rex mug. I'm sad about this mug now. I saw an old photo on Instagram, not on Instagram, on my phone, of this mug. I was, like, looking through old photos and I saw this mug in all its glory when it first arrived. and it was a Jurassic Park T-Rex but it says T Rex on it. And now look at it. Time. It's like the fading of the Mona Lisa. It's like the fading of the Mona Lisa.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's nice to be with you all. How are you today? Hi, Tata. in Colombia on Instagram. If you're on Tick Tock, leave me a little message. Let me know you're here. I'm gonna do some questions. What's up, D. Viraj? That's very sweet. What is this little Emoji that I see more and more these days? Like a blue. It's like that blue one there. what is that? I've seen more and more people use it. What is the.

It looks like a negative version of.

It's almost like. Maybe. Is it because we're not updated on something? It's like a. It looks like. From where I'm seeing, it looks like a moon. Like a blue moon. But I don't know. What's up, Owen, on YouTube from Milton KeenS. How are you? start sending in your questions. If you have any questions for me, make sure if you're on Instagram or Facebook, you comment the word heal. Comment the word heal and I will send you a link to my event on Tuesday. It's a free event. Anyone can come to on overcoming heartbreak. If you're not on Instagram or Facebook, go to lovelifetraining.com and you can sign up there. It'll take 10 seconds. It's free. and it's going to be a really amazing event for anyone who is going through a really hard time with heartbreak right now. Maybe someone broke up with you and you're devastated. You're in the thick of it. Maybe it just happened. Maybe it happened a while ago and you can't seem to get over it and it's become chronic. Either way, we are gonna talk about it. And Tuesday is going to be a really special time if you're on Tick Tock. YouTube. You can go to lovelifetraining.com to sign up for that event. Or if you're on Instagram or Facebook, just comment the word heel H-E-A-L and I will send you a link. Ah, there's so many nice comments. Alicia on Tick Tock. Thank you so much for that comment. Christina on Tick Tock says, what are the chances of a guy texting me? Hi, babe. while on the phone with me. Oh, no. Oh, no. Let's see. My second channel on YouTube says, I'm so desperate for a guy who ghosted me, and I still want him back. That's. So let's. Let's look at what's going on there. why would you be desperate for someone who has treated you so poorly? What's going on there? That that's you can. You're not being driven by your happiness there. You're not being driven by. By what I think of. This is. Sounds a bit flowery, but you're not being. You're not being driven by your soul. I think you're being driven by your. Either your ego or your trauma. you know, ego is, I want someone because they don't want me, which also can be part of trauma. I want someone, you know, they, they must be great because they rejected me. They must be special because they don't want me. And, and I need to, I need to resolve this issue. I need to, I can't get them off my head because out of my head because they disappeared on me. And I need to now get closure on that. I need to resolve that. It's already been resolved. This person treats people poorly. That's. That's what you've just learned about this person, is that they treat people poorly. And you have to ask yourself, why would I continue to put myself in the. In the way of someone who treats people poorly? What's going on with me? Why? If I wouldn't put. my best friend in a room with someone who treats her or him poorly. Why would I do it to myself? What's going on with me that I believe that I deserve to be treated poorly? All right, let's see. We've got some questions that have come in. Let me. Oh, there's one here already. We've got TikTok, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube all live at the same time. For anyone who wonders, is this live? It is live. It's Sunday at 1110 LA time. Emily says, How do you deal with the loneliness of heartbreak? Join me on Tuesday for my How to Heal from Heartbreak event because we are going to be talking all about that.

This one's kind of interesting. It has to do with heartbreak, but.

So someone said, I broke up with her seven months ago, but still kept in contact. Who's this from? What's the name? Macha latte says, I broke up with her seven months ago, but still kept in contact only recently. she stopped talking to me and I felt heartbroken. Why is that so? So you broke up with her but kept in contact?

Well.

I think what happened is that when you kept in contact, you a couple of things. One, you never actually had to grieve the relationship. because you still had a relationship. It may have been not exclusive, but you still had a relationship. You were still in contact with this person, and she was. She was still staying in contact with you. So you never actually had to grieve. You never had to mourn the loss. And this is one of the reasons. We'll talk about this on Tuesday, but this is one of the reasons why no contact is really important. and by the way, no contact is really important for the person who was broken, broken up with. If you are on the receiving end of a breakup, it's really important to go no contact because without going no contact, the person who broke up with us never feels the stakes of having broken up with us. In other words, they never actually truly feel the consequences of having broken up with us. 'cause they still feel us in our lives. So they never really experienced the pain of losing us. And the irony is, if we ever want someone to realize what they've lost, they have to actually lose it. In our desperation to keep someone, we stay in contact with them. But what they need to feel in order to miss us or to feel the loss, they need to actually lose us. And that means going no contact. so for, for machelate, what you experienced was you stayed in touch, and then she stopped. She decided that she needed to stop talking to you. And then all of a sudden, the real consequences of the breakup landed for you seven months later. They didn't land for you in those seven months because you didn't feel the loss. And so now you're heartbroken. And I'm sorry you are. And it's, it doesn't matter whether you broke up with someone or they broke up with you. You can still be heartbroken. You can still feel that loss. The, the challenge for all of us is, can we, can we sit in the loss? Can we sit in the grief? And many people never do because it feels too painful. But that's, that's what that all the healing is on the other side of actually experiencing. the loss. I hope you can join us on Tuesday, by the way, because I, whether you broke up with someone or they broke up with you, the, the lessons I'm going to share with you on Tuesday, although some of them are more geared towards it, you know, the situation where you've been broken up with by somebody, there's still a lot of lessons in there for people who have kind of, in a way, broken their own hearts by leaving someone who they felt it wasn't right, but they still needed to leave. But now they've, they feel heartbroken at the loss. Someone says, if you're in a no contact, but he called but didn't leave a message, what should I do? Call him back or wait for him to contact again? Help. That's an interesting question. By the way, for everybody who hasn't watched it yet, we have a brand new video that just came out on YouTube. I'm really proud of this one. It's about when to break the no contact rule. And we, I think we have six or seven situations in the video. where people get confused about whether to break the no contact rule. And I answer those questions in this video. It's already doing really well. It's a super popular video already. So go check it out. It literally just came out this morning on my YouTube channel. Go watch that. If someone called but didn't leave a message, I don't think you owe them anything. you know, if they have a message they want to send to you, and if it's important to them, they will. They'll send a text. They have thumbs. You know, they. You don't have to start to worry that, oh, because I missed that call, I missed my chance. You didn't miss anything. If someone really wants to get in contact with you, they're gonna get in contact with you. you know, you don't live in Antarctica, where you Trek five miles to a pay phone once a week, and they called that pay phone and you missed it. You have a. You have one of these, I'm guessing. And they do, too. So if they really want to send you a message, they can send you a message. It's not that hard. If it's important, they'll call back, so don't worry about that. David said someone commented on our last video. David, what is this little blue emoji?

They're showing up different.

Different on mine.

So it must be some kind of.

It's on. It's on this laptop or something. It's really strange. I think they're actually the normal yellow faces, but they're showing up as blue.

Yes.

They look like they're like a negative. Like, that's so strange. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll find it when I find it, but there's. I think I'll put another one. This one, the.

The most recent one. oh, let's see. Did you throw it up?

Yeah, it's in the private.

Oh, let's take a look. Oh, by the way, let us know who is joining us on Tuesday. I think we're. I don't know what our count is. The last time I checked, like, two days ago, we had over 10, 000 people across the world signed up for Tuesday. Let us know if you're coming on Tuesday to my how to heal from heartbreak event. It's happening online, so you can do it from wherever you are in the world. Sneaky's coming. Reese is coming, Alicia is coming. That's great. Who else is joining us? It's Agnes. It's 11 a.m. Pacific time on Tuesday. So 2 p.m. Eastern time, 7 p.m. GMT. Is that right? I think it is. If you don't know, if you haven't joined us yet, go to lovelifetraining.com and you can join us there. It'll take 10 seconds to sign up. Or if you're on Facebook or Instagram, all you need to do is comment, leave a comment right now with the word heal, and you'll get a DM from my account showing you how you can join. Diana, I'm sending you a link right now. So watch out for your DMs because I see you just wrote heal. Esther, you'll get a DM any moment now. Steph's, you're gonna get a DM, Elizabeth Hall on Instagram, you'll get a DM as well. If you're doing this on YouTube or Tick Tock, we had a whole argument, you and me, about this yesterday. Was it yesterday or the day before? It was the day before. We had a, we had a real to-do about this. If you're on Tick Tock right now, tan and commenting, heel or Diana, Renee, it won't work. You'll have to go to lovelifetraining.com that little clever thing where you get a DM about the event only works if you're on Instagram or Facebook. Okay, let's go. And by the way, for anyone who wants to know what the event is about, it's called How to Heal from Heartbreak. I'm going to talk to you about how to get closure, how to heal once and for all, and how to move through what you're experiencing right now. If you're in pain, this is an absolute must. You have to be there. okay, very good. And this is happening live once, guys, so don't miss it. Make sure. I know some of you are at work. You know, do whatever you can to find the time. It's going to be more or less an hour, roughly an hour, maybe slightly longer. Block out the time. I promise you this is important. All right, let's see what other. What other things. okay, let's take a look. Penelope says, should I like his status if he liked my status every time I put it up after he's been gone for a couple of months, even though he said, wait a while, but I think it's a breakup. Hang on. Are they together? Wait, should I like his status? What you mean like on Instagram where you put a little status? New feature. I've never commented on this new feature before in the context of romance. Should I like his status? If he liked my status every time I put it up, after he's been gone for a couple of months, even though he said, wait a while, but I think it's breakup. So you're together. I have to get this straight.

And this is on Instagram, by the way.

Yeah, this is on Instagram.

Yeah.

So, Penelope, are you in a relationship with this person? Can I hear from Penelope on Instagram right now? Penelope, are you there? Penelope on Instagram. Are you in a relationship with this person? Because if you are, I have so many problems with this question. It's a simple yes or no. Penelope. There's a delay. Okay. All right, let's see. I. Penelope, I. If you are again, where did he go for a couple of months? Are we. I feel like we're back to the Antarctica point. Where did he go? that he, the only means of him contacting you is through statuses. This is like Morse code through liking your status. By the way, if he's liking your status, he has, he's got access to Instagram. And if he's got access to Instagram, he's got access to be able to text you or call you or leave you a voice note. So, when someone is, listen, when someone's means of staying in touch with you is liking your status or viewing your stories or sending you a little like non-committal message in response to your stories, they are simply keeping you in their life with the minimum possible investment. I've done entire videos about this where I dressed as a policeman. If you want to look them up, look up Matthew Hussey, MPI on YouTube. If someone is, listen, I get it. Andy Bubbles is saying that question is so bad, but it's also real. It's real. Like Andy, this is a common thing. This is not just Penelope. People, people look, people See someone who is an ex of theirs, for example, liking their stories or, you know, just viewing their stories. They're like, why do they view my stories if they're not interested anymore? Why would they not call me and then view my stories? Because either they just still like having some connection to you, or they like the game of keeping you in their life and they know it's going to keep you thinking about them. They know it's a way to keep you hanging on. But the point, the only thing you need to realize is it's not interesting behavior. There's nothing interesting about this. Why would that be enough to keep my interest? You have to start raising the bar for what keeps your interest. Because if what keeps your interest is someone liking your status on Instagram. Your standards are too low for what keeps you interested. Your standards are too low for what keeps you engaged. It's like you've got to put on a, like, think about how high our standards are for what we watch these days. I don't know. Does anyone else have this? where, like, we have so much choice now that our standards for what is a good enough movie to make us sit down and watch a whole movie get really, really high. Our standard for a TV series gets really, really high because there are so many TV series that get released. So now, like, I need something to be really good. I need it to be white Lotus. Did you watch the first one yet? Oh, yeah. I'm excited. Second one's today, right? No, the second episode of the is. Is. Comes out today. Oh, you haven't. Oh, who's out there watching White Lotus right now? I'm, you know, it has to be White Lotus for many of us to actually indulge a series. or severance if you've got good taste. My point is we have high standards for the stuff we watch on a streaming platform, but then when it comes to our actual love life, one of the most important things in the world, who we decide to give our time and attention to romantically, it's enough that someone goes, in their little Morse code on your status. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Just a little, like, heart on your status. That's enough. We've got to raise out. If we. If our standards are higher for what movies we watch than they are for who we give attention to in our lives, in our love lives, something is wrong.

All right, what else? the most recent one.

Very quick.

All right. Let's see. A little bit of salt on your Sunday morning from me. Then Aries High Priestess says, is it okay to tell a man that I might not want to work if getting married? Is it okay to tell a man that I might not want to work if getting married? I feel like I need more context for this question. And by the way, he's gonna need more context for that comment. What does that mean? Are you saying in the context of you guys having children together, you don't want to work, or are you saying if you, even if you don't have children, you don't want to work, in which case you're trying to attract a very specific kind of man. But I need to understand, I think, a bit more context. Are you saying in a family Dynamic, I see myself as raising kids in a, you know, in a very, you know, traditional gender role fashion of you work, I raise the kids, and that's what I want to do, in which case you. That's a conversation for sure. She replied. She says, where is she on. She's on YouTube.

YouTube.

Let's see.

Like, I like to be a housewife.

In the if we have children. Okay, where, let's see. Oh, I see. There we go. Like, I like to be a housewife in the future if we have children.

You.

Should talk about that before getting married. Yes, for sure. If that's what you want, you should talk about it. If that's the vision you have for having a family, and you have your reasons for that and you want to find someone whose vision for their life is compatible with that. You should absolutely have that conversation with someone before you get married, because the last thing you want is to have, get married and then have children and realize you have very different Vision for what the team looks like. Like, this is all a, this is all a team, right? Everything. You're a team. And there's going to be judgment in the comments from, from this question from both sides. And then this is exactly the kind of that people love getting riled up about online. But it's really not that complicated. You're a team. And what you're saying is, this is what I want my part in the team to be. This is the role I want to play in the team. Now, maybe it's because that's where you see your strengths, or maybe that's because that's where you were raised, and that's how you see the division of labor in a couple and. Fair enough. Like whatever, whatever it is you, that is your vision, you gotta find someone who understands that vision, buys into that vision, who's compatible with that vision.

Where.

They see that as, okay, that's the kind of teammate I want. But you have to find out whether you're good teammates. You know, I, you have to have a lot of conversations. I, I really believe before you get married about the kind of team that you want to be for each other, about what a team looks like to you, about how you see things. And when you, when you have a chance to share what it looks like in your mind, share it, because you wanna, if there's going to be problems, if that, if you're gonna have a guy say to you before marriage, I, that doesn't Jibe with me. I don't see. I don't want to be the only one working in our relationship. I don't want everything to. To rely on me financially. I. I don't see it that way. You need to know now, not at the point where you have kids, not at the point where you're already married. That's the conversation you should be having now. So, yes, have that conversation for sure. What else?

Just before that one.

Stocky jamanata. Stocky says, Matt, listening to you from Manchester, England. What's up, Manchester? How, what advice do you have for a guy who constantly gets friend zoned with the, I wish there was guys like you in my life. Look, I think that we, we have to recognize when someone is always saying, oh, I just wish there were guys like you, except I'm not actually choosing you. Firstly, recognize that there's something about you that is an attractive quality. There is actually, I think we're very quick to denigrate ourselves when people friend-zone us, but it's worth recognizing that when someone says something like that, there is a quality that we have that is admirable. It might be our level of care. It might be that we show up for people. It might be a level of loyalty. It might be that we're a good human being. It might be we have a sensitivity or an emotional intelligence. There is something about us that is there to be admired and something we should not take for granted within ourselves. We should also remember that sometimes the people that say that are people who themselves are looking for something unhealthy. They see someone in front of them who is a kind human being, who is a giver, someone who is a teammate, someone who sees them, they see that and then they go, but I need something more, you know, they'll call it exciting, but in many cases it's I need something more toxic. I need something that makes me feel unsure of myself. I need someone who has all this status and I'm being driven by my ego in dating, not by what actually makes for a great relationship. So sometimes, sometimes someone friend-zoning you is not a mark against you. It's a sign of them continuously running into trouble in their love life because they don't select for what makes a great relationship. They select for what their ego is addicted to or what, you know, some hole that they're trying to fill in themselves or, or, you know, they're searching for unhealthy people because that's the kind of love that they're used to. So don't be, be careful of being too quick to judge yourself based on that. Be careful of taking for granted what's great about you. And, and, but, but there's a but. It can also mean that there is some part of us that we're not expressing fully. For example, it might be that there's a part of us that is very kind, conscientious, agreeable, sensitive, anticipatory of someone's needs, that that part of us is we're really good at that. And that's comfortable for us. And it might be a very well exercised muscle that we have. But it might be that there's another muscle we have that may be an element of boldness, because boldness is sexy, right? Being decisive can be really sexy, right? Not someone who makes every decision all the time, 24 hours a day. that's I wouldn't want to be with someone like that. And I don't think, you know, I think if you're a woman and you're with someone who wants to make every decision, I think that's a mutation, too. But someone who can make a decision and be decisive, someone who can make a plan is sexy. Someone who is a little sure of themselves at times, not it doesn't have to be every second of the day, but someone who has a little bit of like, they're self-assured and that comes across as a kind of flirtatious energy. And that comes across as a bit of cheekiness sometimes. Someone who can tease out of a place of playfulness, not out of a place of meanness, but someone who can tease someone else and keep them on their toes a little. These are all sexy qualities. And sometimes when we've over, when we're comfortable in being kind to someone and showing up for someone and going out of our way for them and that that those are not on their own bad qualities, but they become an overworked muscle when they they take the place of us ever showing those other qualities that I just mentioned. So ask yourself, is there a part of me that is there like a muscle that's underutilized in me that is a little harder for me? And don't beat yourself up that it's harder for you. We all have those things that are harder for us. to do, right? Some of us have experienced, you know, a way of parenting from our parents that robbed us of a certain kind of confidence. Or you had a mother or a father who was over-controlling and never let you make any decisions and always made you feel like you got it wrong. And so you learned to be indecisive because you were raised by people who taught you not to trust yourself. or taught you that no decision you ever made was good enough. And so now you go into relationships not trusting yourself, always waiting for someone else to make the decision, always deferring to what they want to do, because you were, you were taught that your decisions didn't matter or that they weren't good enough, or that you always needed someone else, what someone else's approval for your decisions. So now you get into situations with people who go, you're just not bold enough for me. They may not say it like that, but they go, you're just not I need someone who takes charge. I need someone who knows what they want. And for you, that comes from a wound not being that way. It comes from a way that you were raised, and maybe you don't even realize that. So these things, they run deep. Sometimes the reason we get friend-zoned, it runs deep, and we have to give ourselves compassion for that, not this, like, bullshit stuff that's out there. You know, there's so much on, like, really toxic stuff online right now between men and women and, you know, guys having this Vision for what all women want. And it's this mutated gross Vision, completely two-dimensional of what women are like and actually shows far too little understanding of what women are actually like and what they actually look for. And there's stuff from women about what men are like that's actually not true and shows a lack of understanding about men.

This.

The truth is, what we need to offer ourselves is not this judgment of, like, I'm not man enough and I'm not like, there's these other guys who are these alphas and I'm not enough of that. I'm just this and that. And then we get resentful and bitter and all of that. It's none of that. It's just self-compassion there's. There's things in my life that have made it hard for me to be a certain way, but. actually, if I start to work on those parts of myself, if I start to offer myself compassion, if I start to understand why I am the way I am, I can start to bring out more of those parts of me that maybe I haven't had a chance to, to bring out before. And, and that can actually change the way that people, people treat you. And we all have different sides, you know? Look, I, I have, I have sides of me. When I'm about to go on stage or give a talk, there's a side of me that will, there's that inner voice that tells me, you have no right to be here. You're not good enough. You don't know anything. That voice tells me that everything I've ever learned or experienced, all the knowledge I've accumulated over two decades of doing this, amounts to nothing. There's that voice. And I also have another voice that is, that is like, you're really good at this. You're really good at this. And you know what you're doing. And there's even, there's even, like, a little, like, voice in there that's like, you might be the best at this, right? There's that voice, too. And I don't, you know. both voices. Like, I, I understand both of them. You know, I, I know. I, I connect and can relate to both of those voices. Now, there's also just a voice, because this one, the, the other one could be a little egoic. Right? So there's this other voice that's just a leader voice that is, knows how to, like, take charge, but in a great way, in a humble way, knows how to stand behind the knowledge that I have, knows how to stand behind the experience that I have. wants to push me, won't mind if I fail because at least I went for it. You know, like there's that voice too. My point is that this part of you, that you have these voices too, and it's about encouraging the voices that maybe got locked away, encouraging the voices that don't show up enough in you that can start to evoke a different reaction from people. my. I. I have so much I could say about this. I have so much I could say about this. I could go on for hours about this subject.

It.

We'll. We'll do a video on this at some point. We should do a video on this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So Qin Chi says Matt, I just want to share and appreciate of share appreciation for your Matthew AI program. It's truly helpful, made me feel so much more safe and secure within my relationship. Just wanted to thank you and and your team. That's amazing. I know so many of you are getting so much out of Matthew AI. If you want to ask Matthew AI a question, you can go to askmh.com and ask a question today. I know so many of you are using it a lot now. It's crazy. We have Matthew AI gets asked over a thousand questions a day at this point. It's amazing. The data on it is incredible. The number of people that are using it all the time. All right. Very good. Just a quick reminder to everyone, if you are struggling right now with pain or heartbreak, I am doing an entire live hour on Tuesday called How to Heal from Heartbreak. It is a free event. Anyone can join. Get your friends, get your family, get your sister, your brother, your daughter, your son, anyone who is struggling, your mom who just got a divorce, anyone who's struggling from heartbreak right now. Go to lovelifetraining.com, send them that link as well. It'll take 10 seconds to sign up and just say, Hey, there's this guy, I like him, he's helped me. He's doing an hour on heartbreak on Tuesday and you need to be there. I promise you, if you're going through pain right now, this hour is really gonna make a difference. And you can come either by signing up here@lovelifetraining.com and I'll send you an email with the details and the private link to join. But you can also, if you're on Instagram or Facebook, just comment the word heal, H-E-A-L, and I will DM you a link to sign up. You can literally just do it in your DMs on Instagram and Facebook. So just comment the word heal right now if you are on Instagram or Facebook. Liz, I saw you on Instagram. You'll get a link in your DMs right now. Same for you, Andrea F. Perez. You'll get a link right now. Lewis Howes on Instagram. I'll send you a link. My man. Miss you, dude. all right, let's keep going. Do Sophia on Tick Tock says, do you believe in twin flame theory? Wasn't that a cult thing on in on? I watched a document. Audrey made me watch a documentary on the twin flame thing. I it all seemed bad. It didn't seem good or any cult knowledge I have is all Audrey. She is a little true crime fiend. And she just. She listens to, I'll come to bed and go to brush my teeth, and she will be in the bathroom listening to another story about some psychopath who has, you know, murdered seven people. and that's my life, is just walking into rooms where I'm listening to the worst atrocities that people are capable of. I wouldn't choose to listen to any of it. It's all horrible. I just don't. My. My wife, it's like her bedtime stories are like Cults, Psychopaths, malignant narcissists, just any horrible. real life horror story. Miss P says, that's why women like us and Audrey see red flags, Matthew. Yeah, maybe. But you could sort of, you know, educate yourself and then watch something nice. It don't. You don't need story after story of these Maniacs. All right, so I don't know. Yeah, the. I think you probably got my answer to your question there. All right, what else? What are you liking? Siwan says, Matt, what do you do with the bare minimum when he gets lazy and texts less but is hours on social media? Just dating for three months. I got a feeling he is also not good with emotional things. Again, a lot to say about this. So you've been dating three months. he spends hours on social media, but not that much time connecting in real life. That, I mean, doesn't that describe most people these days? You know, texting is, some people are better at it than others. He, you know, it doesn't, that's a very common experience that, look, it would be one thing. Here's what I think you have to start measuring. It's not how many times a day he texts you, but how much real connection you feel from him because we can get lost in the specifics. Some people are not big texters, but they will call you every day. In which case, great, because the goal isn't to text. The goal is human connection. Texts are just another way of doing it. So your goal is human connection. I'm less worried that he doesn't that he texts less than he's on social media and more concerned with you saying he does the bare minimum and that he's not good with emotional things. Because that makes me feel like there are fundamental needs that you're not getting met in this situation. That's the real problem. The real problem is not that he doesn't text you. The real problem is that your needs aren't being met. You want your love life. You want to connect with someone. You want to have a genuine deep connection and you're three months in. So you deserve to have a real connection with someone, a deeper connection with someone, and you're not feeling it right now. So, I would say, if someone can be forgiven for being a bad texter, if you guys talk, if you feel like each day you get on the phone and you have a nice conversation, and then when you don't talk for a couple of days, at least he sends text messages and you connect that way, but you're not getting what you need. And I don't get the impression you're expressing that to him either. are you seeing each other as much as you would like? Are you actually feeling like the time that you do talk is quality time? There's plenty of people in life who fall into the more introverted category who are fall slightly more avoidant. I don't mean that in a negative way. I just mean they're a little bit more avoidant and they don't. They don't need as much communication. or, and sometimes people are more securely attached than we are. Um, and they are, they don't need quite as much as we do if we're more anxiously attached. But even in those situations, in order for there to be real progression in dating, you need to feel like, okay, maybe they need a little less than I do, but it's still consistent and it's still quality. I'm not getting the impression it's either for you. And that's a real problem. And that's a problem you need to start communicating. All right. Very good. I'm enjoying this. Are you all enjoying this on this Sunday? It's really nice to be with you all and connect with you. Are you getting, is this helping? Are people feeling like they're getting some information that's helpful to them? Thank you, Mitch. Thank you, just me, Jamie. on Tick Tock. Thanks, Diana. Alicia, Leanna. Appreciate you on Instagram. Black Swan 1437. Appreciate you, Ali. Thank you. I'm really, I'm really, really excited to, to join you all on Tuesday. It's gonna be really, really some special time together, and I'm working really hard on it. I worked four hours. five hours on this yesterday. I'm going to be spending another five or six hours on this today. I've been working on it all week. I'm putting a lot of effort into this event on Tuesday for you. And I'm really. I have so much to say. My biggest challenge is I have an hour, maybe, maybe slightly more, I don't know, hour and 10, whatever. But I have. I have so much I want to say, and I feel like I need many, many, many, many hours with you. So my challenge is going to be figuring out how to not talk too fast and how to try and distill it down to the things I really feel like you need to hear in that time. But I'm really excited about it and I hope you are too. Mitch says, what's happening Tuesday? For those of you just joining, I'm doing an event on Tuesday called How to Heal from Heartbreak and you can sign up at www.lovelifetraining.com It's a free event. so anyone can come, anyone you know who is going through. I know many of you have a, a parent or a sibling or a friend who's going through a hard time right now because of a breakup. Maybe you are. Come to this event because I promise you it's, it's really going to help you feel better. Rose with that says you are looking a bit tired. I sort of feel like you, people have been saying that to me for, for a decade now. I'm starting to realize that's just my face. I, for those of you who want to join, you can go to lovelifetraining.com and join us on Tuesday. And if you are on Instagram or Facebook, I'll even do you one better. You can just comment the word heal, H-E-A-L, heal, and you can join us. H E A L comment the word heal right now and you'll get a message in your DMs where you can join us. One of our one of our team Celia is on Instagram right now and she's just laughing to herself at the idea that tiredness is etched into my face, which I don't appreciate Celia.

All.

Right, what else? Oh, no. Someone said, oh, no, you just said in Facebook. I don't know what that was, too. If you're on Facebook or Instagram, you can comment the word heal and it will work. But if you're on YouTube or TikTok, it won't work. You just have to go to lovelifetraining.com and you can sign up to the event on Tuesday. Someone said, It's the lighting. I'll tell you right now, it's not the lighting. And here's how I know. There's days where we shoot a video and we shoot it with the best lighting and I still just have one eye. I don't know which one it is. One of my eyes just always has a dark circle no matter what. And you know, sometimes Audrey will come along with just a little bit of concealer and she'll just go doo doo doo doo doo and then I'll, and that's the problem. That's the, I've just realized the problem is sometimes for videos. I have concealer on these dark circles, and it makes you think I'm tired when I don't have it. All I need to do is never have that, and then I'll just look tired all of the time, and you'll realize it's just my face. Do, like, from the Adams family. Just, like, have it. We'll add a bit. That's what I'll do, is I'll add a bit more black around the eyes. And that way, when you meet me in the street, you'll go, oh my God, you look amazing. Matthew, you're glowing. Oh, man. It's all right, isn't it? It's just our face happens. It's gonna, you know, we're all gonna have something. What else? Oh, let's see. Ah, Tina, thank you. Says, I finished your book and it's just amazing. I it's over there. I can't even. Quick, David, I'll do the grogu thing.

Is that what we thought?

No.

We weren't thinking that.

It was right when grogu does it, it comes to him slowly.

Oh, I see.

You know, what do you mean? So it's like, like he does this.

And then we can try it again.

Yeah, it just needs to come to me slowly and then he'll grab and then he'll get it and then he gets tired afterwards.

Yeah.

And then the dark circles get worse. Me and Audrey do that to each other all the time. We're like, I don't know. This is a really Niche reference because anyone who does not watch the Mandalorian is not going to get this. Anyway, this is. This is the book Tina's talking about. It's called love life. It came out last year, and it's. And it's my new book, and it will be my new book until I write another one. 10 years from now. Very good. What's going? What else is going on? How many people have we got here?

We.

Yeah, like, is it like David? David basically tells me what to do on these. So, you know, David's good cop and bad cop. When we continue, it's because David has said, continue. When we stop, it's because David has said, stop. I know. I've really passed the buck on that. All right. Yeah, let's do one more. What? Do you think one more is right?

I think this one's an interesting, a very interesting concept.

Okay, tell me which. Is it Hudson's? Hudson says, Matthew, I'm sticking to my boundaries on not liking men who make fun of me and disguise it as. teasing or a joke, but I feel like I'm missing out on dates because of it. You know, it's, it's this. I feel like this is an interesting question to have come just after I made fun of my face. Because it's we, how we receive certain things. says a lot about how comfortable we feel in ourselves and how seriously we allow ourselves to take other people. Like, I think we have to be careful of taking ourselves too seriously. We also have to be careful of taking other people too seriously. People say, you know, mean all the time. And I, even when people say mean things, I very rarely take them seriously. I mean, some, there might be some days where someone says something and it catches me off guard and I'm like, you, did I, oh, I thought I had like a red mark on my hand then. I didn't, you know, I'll get mad for a minute, but then I'll go, this person's just a silly person leaving mean comments online. It, there will be people who tease you and it's not a joke or it's disguised as a joke, but they're really just not a very nice person and they're insecure and they're trying to make you feel insecure to make themselves feel better. That is a common pattern. But the problem is when we've experienced it before, and it sounds like you have experienced before someone who has been genuinely mean to you and it hasn't been well intentioned. and it's given you a heightened sensitivity to anytime someone is being mean. And the problem with heightened sensitivity in this department is it becomes like an early storm detector that is a it's like a piece of equipment that's too finely tuned. So it's supposed to only detect real earthquakes, but instead it's like someone bounces a basketball outside your house and it starts it starts moving and you're like, oh, there's a threat. I'm. I'm getting the sense that you have this piece of equipment that's become too finely tuned to any time someone could be having a joke or saying something teasing. And sometimes people do get it wrong, by the way. Sometimes people, you know, they tease a little too much, and sometimes people don't even know they're doing it or they. They need to recalibrate sometimes. Someone can get too sarcastic, but the confident person doesn't say necessarily every time, oh, I didn't like that you teased me there. I'm not going on another date with you. The confident person might begin by taking it as a bit of a joke or laughing at themselves or even politely pointing out, like jokingly pointing out, All right, don't be mean. You know, but if that person continues with that and we start to sense a pattern, then we might say, I don't like this. This doesn't make me feel good. Ultimately, we should be looking at how do we feel at the end of a date on balance? Not what did someone do in one moment, but at the end of a date with someone, do we leave feeling better or worse off? And people who consistently, I've had people in my life who didn't who I can take a joke, but like consistently, every time I left them, I noticed a pattern that I actually felt a little bit worse. I felt a little bit worse about myself. I felt like they had brought me down somehow and it felt really subtle, but I felt it every time. Now, when that's the case, you should pay attention to that. But if you measure so often, that any time someone says something that's just a bit of banter or teasing, we immediately make a rule that says, not interested, then we're not, it's almost like we're not being compassionate to other people because other people, they get it a little wrong sometimes, or they're just trying their best to be funny or to have a personality on a date. so sometimes I think being compassionate to other people is giving them the benefit of the doubt, but also not ignoring our own intuition when we feel like someone putting us down is a pattern and not just a moment of. Of joking. All right. Very good. This has been really fun, guys. I've really enjoyed it. I can't wait to see you all on Tuesday. this is gonna be great. We're gonna have a really, it's gonna be a very healing time. You know, when we're in heartbreak, we need to put ourselves around people, influences, friendships, relationships that are healing for us. People that, when you're in their company, you just feel better. Speaking of energy, right, when you're around them, you just feel better. and I want to be that for you on Tuesday. I hope I'm that for you in some sense in general. I hope that you always leave moments that we have together feeling maybe a little bit lighter, a little bit more in touch with, you know, the best sides of you and the parts of you that you like and your playfulness and your confidence. and your hope for the future.

And.

You come away feeling a little more optimistic. And Tuesday, I've spent a lot of time, Tuesday isn't just random. I've spent a lot of time putting something together for you on Tuesday that I know is gonna help those of you that are, especially those of you that are in pain right now. So if you've lost somebody that you thought you'd be with forever, someone who you love, someone maybe you're still in love with, someone you can't stop thinking about. If you're feeling the grief of losing them, if you're feeling scared about the future having lost them, because you're like, now when, like, is it ever going to happen for me? That was my shot, and it's gone. And if you're just like, get me out of this pain, I don't know what to do. I can't. I'm not. sleeping well. I am not myself. I'm struggling. I may. And sometimes that's because of something that happened a long time ago, and we're still feeling that. And sometimes it's. It happened last week or last month or at the end of last year, and we're still unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to focus on anything. And you're just like, just please make this pain stop. If any of the above describes you, please, please, please join us on Tuesday so that we can be together and so that I can share with you what I've been working on. If you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment the word heal, and that will be a way to get in on this. I can send you a DM. Just comment heel and I'll send you a DM so that you can join us. And if you're on YouTube or Tick Tock, go to this link right here, lovelifetraining.com and you can sign up in 10 seconds. It's free. Share that link with anyone in your life you know is having a hard time. Post it on your stories on Instagram, post it on your social media so that more people can come and experience this. We have over 10,000 people signed up so far and it's going up all the time. So wherever you are in the world, know that we'll be together and we're going to feel better on Tuesday. All right, I'm sending you guys so much love. Have an amazing Sunday. And if you're having a horrible Sunday because of what you're going through, be kind to yourself today and tomorrow until we're together on Tuesday. And then I'll be with you. All right, guys. See you soon. Bye.