Answering Your Questions LIVE

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another live. I'm excited to be with you all. Read some comments, answer some questions, and I have a question for everyone here today as well. Remember, this is just a quick reminder while everyone's coming in that on Saturday, my event is happening. Find your person, and if you haven't already registered, remember, if you've got a copy of the book, all you need to do to register is go to lovelifebook.com and you get a ticket to that event. So I know a bunch of you have already got the book. I don't want you to miss the event. You get the event for getting the book. So make sure that you don't miss that. That's@lovelifebook.com is where you can register. And I have a question for you all today about how you're showing up in your love life. I'm really curious to hear this. The answers to this. While everyone's coming in, I see all of you coming in on Instagram right now. We're going live on Instagram, Facebook, tick tock, and YouTube all at the same time. So hello to Travel Girl 13 on Instagram. Hello to Claire and Vaughn on YouTube. Linda Reed, what's up? Good to see you. See you here. I'm back in Los Angeles now after a crazy week in New York, so it's good to be with you all. One quick announcement that I want to make before we get into me answering your questions. How many of you got the audio book? Let me just see a show of hands. Who here has already purchased a copy of Love Life on audio? Let me know if you have. This is a an announcement that concerns everyone who's got the audiobook. Janice, Sadie, I see you have on TikTok. Who else has got it? Christina, you got it for your friends on audio. Miros, you got it on audio. Zeb, you got it on the Audible app. Okay, so for all of you who got the Audible version of the book, we had a discussion as a team this morning because so many of you who have got the audiobook have been messaging us asking about whether you have access to the event on May 4th. And we were discussing this internally because what's crazy about this book is that it's the audio version is actually outselling the physical version right now. In fact, on three categories in Amazon, Love and Romance, Interpersonal Relations, and Self Esteem, we are the number one bestseller on Amazon. And the version that's the number one bestseller is the audiobook. The number two bestseller is the physical book in all three of those categories, which is crazy. But I guess you guys wanted to hear me reading the book. So the reason I'm telling you this is because while we can't give people who got the audio version the bonuses that were exclusive for everyone who got the physical version, the Heartbreak series, the Love Myths movie and a couple of other things, we can't honor those bonuses for people who got the audio version because we promised those just to the people who got the physical version. But we also recognize that so many people who got the audio version have been supporting us just as much and have gone out of their way to pre order and to help us spread the word about this book. So while we can't honor all of the bonuses for people who got the audio version, we are going to give everyone who got the audio version access. We're going to give them a ticket to the event this Saturday. Find your person. So for anyone who has been asking about whether they get access to the event this Saturday, as an Audi book buyer, we are going to include you guys in that. Like I said, we can't give you everything because there are certain things we have to give just to the physical purchases because we said we would. But we figured, hey look, you've got us to number one. Everyone who got the audio has got us to number one in all of the Amazon charts right now. So we want to say thank you and give you the chance to come and join us this Saturday. So the way that you get access is if you've got the audiobook, go to lovelifebook.com and register using your confirmation number for the audio purchase. You should have got an email when you got the audiobook. You can register using your confirmation number or your receipt number for the audio version. For Audible, you can use that@lovelifebook.com to get a ticket to this Saturday's virtual event. Find your person, which is a three hour event. I'm going to be doing answering one simple question. If I was trying to make it inevitable that you met your person this year, that you got the love that you wanted, what would I do? And it's an ambitious question, but it's a question I'm going to attempt to answer this Saturday. So if you've got the audiobook, big news, congratulations. We are going to include you in this event. We wanted to say thank you to you as well. And for anyone who doesn't have the book yet, you can get it by either going to lovelifebook.com and remember, you can still when you get the book now you can still get access to this Saturday's live event with me. Or if you're on Instagram and Facebook, you can literally just comment love life. One word, love life. And I will send you a link for your territory to purchase the book. So I'm so excited for. For all of you who haven't read it yet, I know so many of you have, and the comments and the reviews have been amazing. I am so appreciative. And for everyone who hasn't ordered it, I just can't wait for you to. To read it. Well, look, I have. I want to get to some questions, but I have. I have a question I want to ask you. And this is a challenging question, but I want you to see you may not in. You may not for sure know the answer, but I want you to think about what your answer might be if you were to guess at it. I was in an interview yesterday, and I was talking about the idea that someone who, you know, stops texting us back can't be our person. You know, the person who's not saying yes can't be our person. And I was doing an interview with Rich Roll, for many of you will know Rich from the Rich Roll podcast, and he said something to me that made me want to go live and ask this question of everybody. He said, the flip side of that coin is that maybe they're not texting you back because of a pattern that's been showing up for you or a way that you've been showing up, a way that you've been conducting yourself that, for whatever reason, made them feel like this wasn't for them. Now, of course, in some of those cases, it's just true that it's not for them. Right? We're just not for them. That's true a lot of the time. And we shouldn't feel personally rejected by that. We should just realize we're not for everybody. You know, Audrey has opted to put up with my nonsense for a lifetime. That's because I'm for Audrey, but not everyone would. We're not for everyone, and that's okay. But in the situations where maybe the way we were showing up wasn't productive or didn't make it easy for the relationship to continue or didn't make it easy for that person to want to continue with us, what are the patterns that we might be exhibiting that could be hurting us in love? And I'm really curious to know what people's answers are to that. This is not an easy question, so I don't want you to feel bad if you don't feel like you have an answer. But if you were to guess at it and say that there is a pattern you have in your love life, in the way that you show up, in the way that you communicate, in the energy you bring, what would you say is the pattern that sometimes or regularly trips you up? I'm really curious. Love pities on Instagram. Good to see you back here. I've been seeing you as a regular. I really appreciate it on these lives. You said expecting too much too fast. That's a really common pattern. And I. I want to commend you for being honest about it. What else? Intriguing. Street says I have a whatever attitude when I find I repeat myself interesting. Victoria on Facebook says, lack of trust. How does that show up? Victoria, I'm curious. How does lack of trust show up for you? A hippie, a happy imp, says on Instagram, patterns. Your pattern is overthinking. You say, so how does overthinking show up? I'm curious. In what way does that pattern show up? What I want to get to the bottom of, because I think that's absolutely right. Overthinking can be a really negative pattern. But how does it show up in the relationship or in the dating situation? How does overthinking actually show up? Nadia says, I'm anxious. Always anxious. Lori on Facebook says, I tend to sacrifice everything for them. That's an interesting one. Let's see. Ariane says, letting someone in to my heart in an honest way. That's interesting. So do you feel like you're not the. The really authentic version of yourself or you're still protecting too much? Rosie, you said being jealous. I can relate to that pattern. I've been jealous in the past. I understand that one. What else? Lillian says, when he doesn't call back or text, you think something has happened. He's talking to someone else. So there's maybe what you're saying is there's a very fast story that forms that says he's texting someone else as soon as they don't call back for a little bit. And that story, maybe you feel like is not a productive story for you because then it influences how you show up. Angela, Guilt says insecurities coming to the surface on Instagram. Yeah. Jillian says overthinking leads to believe. So this is overthinking. Overthinking leads to believing that believing things that might not be true and then reacting based on that truth we've created in our minds. That's not truth in reality. And this is due to mistrust. Tt Multipu says overthinking for sure in my head and second guessing what he feels, holding back and being unsure how to gauge the pace, enthusiasm, how direct to be, how honest to be, how vulnerable to be. So maybe there's the overthinking there and all of those things. I. Seagull says I get carried away with the fantasy of what could be. So I. My question to you is having. I think the vulnerability here is really beautiful. So thank you. These aren't easy things to say, you know, I know for me, a pattern that even showed up when I was first dating Audrey was a pattern of being really protective. If I felt like I could get hurt or if I felt like I was in any way threatened, you know, I immediately got frosty, I got cold. Who can relate to that feeling, that idea that when someone. When you worry that someone could hurt you, you suddenly get really frosty with that person and you don't open up about how something's affected you because that makes you feel even more powerless, because it makes you feel like you're giving someone all this power over you. So then you just go cold. That was a pattern for me. And it was derived from a kind of a feeling of a lack of safety. Like, you know, I didn't want to give someone the power to hurt me in that way. And took me. It took me, you know, some time to really let go and to realize that I was actually safe with Audrey. I could be myself. I could share the things that I was struggling with. I could share my vulnerabilities and that they wouldn't make me ugly, they wouldn't make me unattractive. They. They would be viewed as, you know, with compassion and with love. And it took me a while to. To realize that and to open up in that way. I see some of you relating to that. So one of the things we're going to be talking about on Saturday when we're all together, is what patterns we want to work on breaking this year. What patterns would change our life if we were able to make progress with that pattern. And that doesn't mean that you need to completely reverse that pattern where it's no longer a thing in your life at all. It means we have to start making progress in increments. We have to start learning in 1% shifts to try something new to. You know, we can be compassionate to ourselves and realize so much of this comes from trauma. So much of this comes from our history, our wounds. But we can also recognize that if I don't start showing up differently, it's going to continue to affect me in every relationship. And you know when something is a pattern of yours, when you find it showing up across multiple people in multiple situations, you know, why, why is it that with every person, both the people that aren't good for me and the people that might be good for me, why is it this pattern shows up consistently across multiple people? Is because it's a pattern of mine and I need to address it. So for those people that are interested in looking at. Because it's, it's very easy always to put the focus on everyone else and what other people aren't doing and the way they're not showing up. But we also have to take accountability for the way that we're showing up. I could look back on my own love life and realize that there are plenty of ways that I showed up that were not productive. There were plenty of ways I showed up where you ever, you ever had an argument with someone and you, you look back now and you go, that was all me. That, you know, at the time, maybe I righteously convinced myself that this person was the problem. But you look back and you go, wow, that argument, that was me. I did that. I was the one who created that argument. I was the one who made a, a problem out of something. I've had that many times in my life. So I want to invite everybody who is interested in looking at their love life patterns this year to, to that event on Saturday because we're going to be exploring those and we're going to be exploring how we can start to change those patterns and in our life. Because if we don't, it doesn't matter if we come into contact with a great person tomorrow. We're still going to find a way to sabotage it. We're still going to find a way to hurt the situation. So I'm excited for that. We'll do some questions now, but I just want to let you know that if you have a pattern that you're thinking of when I say that what's your pattern? You think of something. We're going to be covering that. It's going to be one of the things we're going to be talking about on Saturday. Janice, you can find the details of the event at Love. So it's right here. LoveLifeBook.com is where you can find the details as long as you have ordered a copy of this book. And as of today, we are making this possible both for people who order the physical book and people who order the audio book. We're making it possible for all of you to come to this event. So all you need to do is get any format of the book and go to lovelifebook.com and register your purchase and we'll make sure that we email you a private link to the event. One London story says, if I buy Kindle book, can I attend the event? Yes, you can. And no, I won't be mj. I won't be live on Saturday on here because I will be live for three hours at the event. Find your person. So that's a virtual event that every single person who's got a copy of the book is invited to. So long as you register your Purchase here@lovelifebook.com if you haven't got a copy yet, you can also buy a copy@lovelifebook.com and if you're on Instagram and Facebook, you can literally do that by commenting the word love life as one word and I will send you a link so that you can get it. So just comment. If you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment lovelifebook.com and I'll send you a link. And Jeremy, if there's a question you like, let's throw a question up here. All right, we have Sumanini. And by the way, if you've already registered for the event, let me know. Leave a comment letting me know you're going to be there. It's at 10am Pacific Time, 1pm Eastern Time and 6pm GMT. So it's going to be around three hours and we're going to really like get into it. If you've never been to this is like coming to a live event of mine in person where I'm not just ripping on a live. We're gonna have a three hour experience together, which is going to be amazing. And it's free. As long as you get a book, it's free. How often does something like that happen? All right, very good. Susie Cheat. Susie Chic says I'll be there. Can't wait. Be the best for you. 100. I'm excited to see you there too. Amazing. All right, guys, so look, Sumanini says for almost four years now, I have been stuck between should I move on and should I wait? Because my heart says he is going to come back and I shouldn't give up yet. But I don't know how long to wait. What should I do? So getting stuck between moving on and waiting. Well, look, your heart can't read his mind. Let me Repeat that your heart can't read his mind. So your heart may be telling you that he's going to come back, but the truth is you have no idea if he's going to come back. And even if you deeply want for him to come back, you have to ask yourself, what, how does it help me to wait for that? Instead of moving on as if he's never coming back? How does it help you to wait? I think waiting is a kind of, it's a, it's very much a lose win situation where there's probably, there's much more chance of losing than winning. And losing is really high stakes, right? So if you wait, there's a good chance he never comes around. There's also a good chance, by the way, that he senses you're waiting. And because he senses you're waiting, he feels like there is no need to come back with any urgency because you're just waiting around for him. So he, in the process, you've kind of devalued yourself by waiting and there's a small chance that maybe he does come back. Okay, fine, but that's a. Why would you take that much risk when there is a win win situation? The win win situation is that you actually move on aggressively. You say, I'm going to go forward, I'm going to meet people, I'm going to live my life. I'm going to assume this person's never coming back. And if he then does come back, great. And by the way, he knows you were serious because you, he actually saw you moving on. So he's going to think twice before, you know, ever thinking about leaving you again. And if he doesn't come back, you win because you've moved on with your life. So how is waiting, how, how is waiting better than the win win scenario of moving on? Moving on doesn't stop him from saying he wants to come back. You still have the power in that situation. You still have the, the ability to say, okay, fine, but if you wait, you've taken your own options off the table. Why would you take the, your own options off the table? For someone who is showing you they don't want you right now. Askel Astrology says, did his book make the New York Times bestseller list? Let me tell you something. We find out today, we find out today, which is crazy. We already found out that Amazon publishes a list like the New York Times that they, I think they just started publishing and we're number six in all books on Amazon, in their charts. So we, we literally made the Amazon bestseller list, which is amazing. We made the USA Today bestseller list, which we came in at, number 12 in all books, which is amazing. So USA Today will be printing that in their newspaper this week, which is huge. So we made the USA Today bestseller list. We are just waiting on the New York Times. We don't know. We don't know. We find out in a couple of hours. Literally we find out in like two hours. So please wish us luck. Yeah. And if we, and if we do, if we make it, there's a chance we could even make it a second week depending on how many people decide to go out and get the book this week. So if you want to help us for week two, then, then go and grab a copy of the book and now is the best time to do it because you get access to the event this Saturday. If you wait until after Saturday, that event has been and gone and you will miss it. So if you want a free ticket to my event this Saturday, in fact, the only way to get a ticket is to get a copy of the book, then grab a copy of Love Life. How to raise your standards, find your person and live happily no matter what. My brand new book. For anyone who has been living under a rock, Jeremy, and is just finding this out today, you can get a copy@lovelifebook.com or, or if you're on Instagram and Facebook, you can literally just comment the word love life as one word and I will send you a link. But oh, it's going to be interesting. My whole team is nervous today. Everyone's anxiously waiting to see if we, if we made that list. All right, Jeremy, let's throw up another question. I feel like we're cooking. Let's see, Genesis 80s says help me please. How can I overcome my obsession on with a girl in the same workplace, seeing her every day and I can't let her go from my mind 24 7. Well, there are a couple of things with this. There are things you can do to help yourself if you feel like firstly, someone I see someone in the comments is like, ask her out. Well, that's one way to do it. But the issue is you have to be really honest with yourself about whether you are prepared to still work this job or whether you are going to leave if things get awkward. If you do that, you have someone who's working in your company or in your midst all the time and to have that person be around all the time after you've already tried your luck and it hasn't gone your way can be A really difficult thing. You're already experiencing how difficult it is even just with the obsession in your mind. Recognize that this obsession that you have right now is. There's almost certainly an idealized version of this person going on in your head. And so I would be really honest with yourself about the fact that you probably don't know this person as well as you think you do. You speak, you see this person at work, but you don't know who they are in a relationship. You don't know who they are in life in general. So I would, I would say to yourself, I don't really know this person. This obsession is an attraction that has kind of mutated into something else. And just know that, that, you know, workplace romances are very, very high stakes. You know, I live I of outside of the problems of, you know, harassment and making someone feel uncomfortable in the place that they work and all of the difficulties that come with that and the HR issues that come with it. Even just on a. On a human level, this is a place that you go to every single day. And you have to ask yourself, do I want to have to complicate the place that I go to every single day? And, and that's a question only you can answer. Are you, if it, if it doesn't go well, are you prepared to get another job? Are you prepared to go do something else? Because this person might not be going anywhere. And now you feel even more awkward because you've actually said something. But what you can do is start being more aggressive outside of the workplace in going and meeting more people so that you're not sitting there, continuing with this story about this person in your head. Go out and meet other people. Remind yourself that this person that's attractive to you is not the only person that is attractive out there. And the only reason you've been able to get to this point of obsession is because you see this person all the time. And also don't make life worse for yourself by, you know, trying to hang out with this person as much as possible outside of work, have boundaries for yourself. But with guys, Let me just say this about any kind of obsession. Obsession with a person is a great way to not actually have to live our lives. It's a great way to not have to go and take a risk with someone new in a different situation. It's a great way to kind of take ourselves out of the game altogether, because as long as we're obsessing over this person, that we aren't going to make a move with or that we never have to actually experience. We never actually have to live, you know, be like an active participant in our own life. We can just live in the obsession. And life isn't life is an obsession any more than, you know, like, it's like if you get obsessed with a business idea, have you tried it? Have you. Have you actually executed that idea? And if you haven't, what's the obsession? The obsession is just a way to keep saying you're going to do something without actually doing it. It's a way to continue to get this satisfaction of how great this idea would be without ever having to put it to the test. And guess what happens with most business ideas when they get put to the test? They don't work. Guess what happens when with most crazy obsessions, when that relationship gets put to the test? They don't work. So it's really important to realize that this is a great way to avoid having to take any real risk in life and to live in the fantasy of something instead of the reality of your own life. Jeremy, what else do we have? If you haven't already, grab a copy of the book. You can get one@lovelifebook.com I'm going to keep saying it because this is a really, really important time. It's Wednesday. We have a live event on Saturday that you can only come to if you get a copy of the book. So I won't be mentioning this as many times next week. You know, I want the book to find a home with as many people as possible. But I'm going to be really aggressive about making sure you guys know about it this week because there are going to be people that show up live and they don't realize that with the book, you also get the live event on Saturday and they're going to miss it and it's free. So I don't want you to miss this event. I don't want you to get to Monday and then get a copy of the book and realize that you could have been at this amazing event on Saturday with me. So just make sure that you grab a copy and then when you've got a copy, you register it@lovelifebook.com lovelifebook.com and if you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment the word love life as one word and I'll send you a copy to buy the book if you haven't already. And if you've already got a copy of the book and you haven't registered, don't. Do not get to Monday and realize that you never registered for the event and then it never made it onto your calendar. And as a result, you missed out on this really special free event. Natalie says, I bought the book, but I didn't register. Did I miss it? No, you didn't, Natalie. You're exactly who I'm talking about. You've got the book. You've done the hard part. All you need to do. Can we pull up the link again, Jeremy? All you need to do now, Natalie, is go to lovelifebook.com, this link right here. Take your receipt number or your order number. We have opened this up now to people who have got the audiobook, not just people who have got the physical book. So whether you've got the physical book or the audiobook, you can still come to this event. We can't honor all of the bonuses that we gave just to the people who got the physical book, like the heartbreak series and the Love Myths movie. Those were specials just for people who got the. The physical. But we can and are honoring the event this Saturday because we're so grateful to all of you who got the audiobook and helped us get to number one in all three categories on audio book on Amazon. So if you got the audiobook, you can come. You can't get all of the bonuses that were available to the physical buyers, but you can get this event. We're opening it up to you as a thank you and because a lot of people just didn't know that if they got the audiobook, they wouldn't be able to come to the to the Saturday event. So we're opening it up to you. LoveLifeBook.com is the link. All you need to do, Natalie, is take your order number, your receipt number, whatever you have, whatever number you have showing you purchased the book, and go to lovelifebook.com there's a little field there. You can just enter that and once you enter it, you will get an email from us giving you a ticket to the event. Londy. Yes, you are on a live. Hello, Janice. The book is incredible, Matthew. Thank you so much, Janice. And Janice, if I don't know where you bought the book from, but if you, whether you bought it from Amazon or Barnes and Noble or anywhere, if you were able to go and leave a review online telling other people why you thought the book was incredible, that really means a lot to me because it helps spread the word about the book. So if you have the book and you loved it, your reviews really mean a lot to me. You can only review in the place you left It. So if you got it from Barnes and Noble, leave a review there. If you got it on Amazon, leave a review there. But. But thank you to all of you who are doing that, because I'm reading. I'm literally reading these reviews every day and just is making it so worthwhile that I did this. All right, let's go. Another question. What do we have? Jeremy angel says, how do we gauge the respectful timing needed for space in regards to a dismissive avoidant? So this is someone who's asking you for space. I. I imagine. Is that right, Angel? So this is a dismissive avoidant who is asking for space. So in any situation, in any relationship, there's a negotiation, isn't there, between our needs and somebody else's needs. And it's not all about our needs, but it's also not all about their needs. Their need right now is. And when you say they are dismissive avoidant, that concerns me because it makes me worry that you're putting up with something you shouldn't be. But let's just talk about an avoidant. Not all avoidance are bad any more than all anxious people are bad. It's just that there's a pattern there. And for a lot of avoidance, what they need when there's an argument is a space. They might. A space they might need to go on a walk for five minutes. Let's take that example. They. They have an argument, they need to go for a walk for five minutes. Now, if you're an anxious person, how hard is it, scale of 1 to 10, if someone that you are anxiously attached to tells you after an argument, I need to go on a walk. How hard is that scale of 1 to 10? If you're an anxious person, what does it make you feel? They're going to break up with me. It makes you feel terrified. Anne says 14. Yeah, it freaks you out because you're like, you're gonna. You're gonna go on a walk and you're gonna break up with me. I can't. I need you to stay here and hug me and make me feel safe. So what we have to realize is how they process things might be very different from how we process things. And we might have to learn to respect that in those moments, what they need is a little bit of space. But we might also have to tell them, hey, because of my nature or because of the things I've been through, when you ask for space in these moments, it's hard for me. It makes me scared. It makes me feel like you're going to leave me. I don't want to be disrespectful of what you need in those moments because I also want you to be respectful of what I need. But I just, I really need to feel safe. So I want to give you space. I want to give you the space that you need, but I also need to feel safe. You know, even if you. It might be. Even if you could come and give me a hug before going for a walk and tell me you love me, or even if you could come back and, you know, this is the thing that I really need. When you come back, whatever it might be, you can communicate that to that person. And we need to get better at communicating those things respectfully to that person. Or it might be, you know, angel, I don't know what the situation is for you, but you're. If. So I'm assuming someone's not asking for a five minute walk here. I'm assuming they're saying they need someone space in general and they need to go away and have a think about things. Well, that's okay. But remember, when someone is telling you they need to go away and think about things, your job is not to sit there waiting forever. You don't want to be reactionary. And it's like, oh, now that you need space, I'm going to punish you by going and hooking up with someone tonight. It's not that. It's just if someone is telling you I need space, you have to be brave enough to say to them, I totally understand and accept that you need space. And I want to honor that because clearly that's what you need. It's really important for me to feel safe. And I don't feel. I don't feel secure in this situation with you saying you need space. It makes me feel like, you know, maybe you're having real doubts about us or maybe you don't want the same things as me. If that's not the case, tell me. But, you know, that's what it feels like to me. And I want to give you space, but I just also want you to know that I am going to have to, you know, in that time, I'm going to have to process things in a way that's healthy for me. And that might mean detaching to some extent, because if I stay this attached to you during this time while you need space, it's going to be really difficult for me. It's going to be very painful. So, you know, safety is really important to me. The way you're talking right Now I don't feel safe. I feel. I. I feel quite vulnerable, and I feel like this isn't. You know, I feel like this is on shaky ground, and I might be wrong, and if I am, tell me. But it feels like I'm. This is on shaky ground. And I know that for me, I'm going to have to detach to some extent or I'm going to have to kind of, you know, tell. I'm going to have to act like maybe you're not coming back for me to be able to. To feel stable. Because if I. If I wish, you know, if I'm sitting here hoping that you're going to come back and tell me what I want to hear, that's not going to be good for me, you know, so it's is being. Being respectful. Is being respectful of what they need, but also being brave enough and vulnerable enough to say that what you need might have some side effects, it might have some consequences. I'm just going to be honest with you about those so that you understand me better. Does that make sense to everyone? Does everyone see that? How many people can see a difference between that communication and maybe the communication they've had in the past? Angel says you're hitting the nail on the head right now, or you're hitting the nail right on the head. Thank you so much. I'm glad. I was trying to read between the lines of what you were saying and what was happening. So I'm glad that, that, that landed. You know, the truth is that in our love lives, what allows us to have a great love life is not one thing. It's us holistically. It's taking a holistic look at our lives. Ourselves, our relationship with other people, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with life itself. And going are these things in a. In a strong place. It's a bit like, you know, you could learn how to flirt, and that would create more opportunities, or you could learn to go out there and take risks in approaching people, and that would create more opportunities. But that doesn't mean that everything else in your life is holistically in a place that supports a great love life. You could go out and create more opportunities and then feel very jealous when you start falling for someone because you are, you know, deep down, you still feel really insecure or you still have an unhealthy idea of how much control you need to exert in a relationship over somebody so that they don't hurt you, or you still have trust issues. You could go out and create opportunity and Then find that you are obsessing over someone too much because you don't have enough things going on in your life. You know, there's, there's too many gaps in your life. You don't have a sense of purpose, you don't have things driving you outside of the relationship. It could be that you find someone and then you find that your patterns get in the way. All the patterns we were talking about at the beginning of this live it. Having a great love life is not about one thing. It's about the holistic collection of things that if we work on those, they create a great relationship with, with ourselves. It's that we have a great relationship with life and we have a great relationship with the person in front of us and we're able to bring our best selves and our best communication. So for everyone who is joining me this Saturday, when I answer that question of what would I do with someone if I was trying to guarantee that they found love over the next year? It's, we're going to look at a. What's the holistic picture of things that you can go away and work on as a result? What can you go away and put in place as a plan of action so that you guarantee, or the closest thing to guarantee the kind of love that you want showing up in your life. Because the truth is it's not about how do we find a person in the next 30 days. Even if you found a person in the next 30 days, if, if, if our patterns, if we haven't healed or if we're not in the right headspace or if our life isn't set up to make us strong, then we could find someone in the next 30 days and we won't have this person in six months. We'll still find a way to sabotage it. You know, we won't show up as the best version of ourselves or they'll never even see the authentic version of ourselves. So it's, it's not just about the moment you meet someone, it's about the things you've done in the run on the way to meeting someone that changes how much success we have. And that's what we're going to be doing together on Saturday. So if you haven't already got your ticket to this Saturday, remember, if you've got a book, you qualified. Jeremy, let's throw the link up. If you've got a book, you qualify for the event this Saturday, which is called Find your Person is going to be around three hours long from 10am Pacific time that's 1pm Eastern time, 6pm UK time or GMT. And we're going to look at the holistic picture of how to create an amazing love life this year. And this is going to be great for you. Even if you're seeing someone right now, you know this event could be the difference between this person you're seeing becoming a real relationship or it just being another hookup or just another situationship that doesn't actually go anywhere. So even if you've already found someone, if you really want that to go somewhere and you want to be the best version of you for making that happen, this Saturday is is going to be essential for a lot of people and it's also going to be a celebration, friends. It's going to be a celebration of this book, of the material in this book. It's going to be a celebration of all of you who have helped us get there. And for those of you that don't know, when you do get a copy of the book and you register@lovelifebook.com you also in addition to the event this Saturday, you're going to get enrolled in a prize giveaway that we're doing where just by being at the event on Saturday you are eligible for some really amazing prizes including we're giving away tickets to my live retreat this year if you want to come and spend six days with me on the beach in Florida. I have a six day event that we're doing in September and we're giving away a couple of tickets to that. We're giving away a one on one with me. We're giving away signed copies of the book that we will send to you. We're giving away Love Life sweatshirts those love those beautiful Love Life sweatshirts that we have that aren't for sale anywhere. We're giving a bunch of them away as well as Love Life T shirts and and some other really cool prizes. So if you do come on Saturday you are going to be in the run for any and all of those prizes. Claudia, I see you want to go to the event in Florida. Well, come along on Saturday. Who knows, you might win a ticket, you might actually win a ticket to come and join us on the retreat. So the link hamas the link for the Saturday event is lovelifebook.com as long as you've got a copy of the book you can register your purchase. Peace of mind says how do you win to go? All you have to do is get a copy of the book and then register it@lovelifebook.com you'll see the instructions there. It's really simple. You can register to be part of the event with us and if you're on the event this Saturday, we're going to be announcing the prize winners on Saturday. So I'm so excited for that. Every single prize winner is going to be announced at the event this Saturday. Amazing. All right, guys, well, I'm gonna leave it there for now. We're gonna spend lots of time together on Saturday, so I'm excited. I can't wait. Who's excited to come and be with us on Saturday? All right. Amazing. Well, look, I'll say it one last time today. If you haven't got the book, grab a copy. If you're on Instagram or Facebook, this live is about to end. But if you either comment love life as one word right now, I'll send you a link to get the book. Or if the live ends and you don't get a chance DM me the word love life, just send me a direct message with the word love life as one word and I will send you a link in the DMS. For everyone else who's on tick tock YouTube, you can go to lovelifebook.com and you can buy the book there. Audio or physical or Kindle. And we'll see you at the event this Saturday. Just remember, if you get the cop, if you get a book, make sure you register your purchase. If you just go and buy it on Amazon or wherever you get your books and you don't register your purchase, I have no idea that you've got the book. It's Amazon who knows you've got the book, not me. So just make sure that once you've got a copy, you go to lovelifebook.com and register it so that I can email you the the ticket to the event. Okay? Lauren B. I see you commenting love life on YouTube. That won't work, unfortunately, friend on YouTube. But what you can do is go to lovelifebook.com if you do it on Instagram or Facebook, you will get an automatic message from me with links to the book. So, K, thank you for commenting Love life. We'll get you a link right now and to everyone who's been writing it on Facebook, I will get you a link right now too. Okay? All right, guys, thank you. So nice being with you. Sorry my voice is a little hoarse, but course it's been, it's been a busy couple of weeks. There's been so much going on. I've been speaking more than I've probably ever spoken in my life and that is saying something. Denise Holiday Rose, I see you commenting love life. Thank you. I'll send you a link right now. But, but man, it's lovely to be with you and fingers crossed today everyone that we hit the New York Times. I'll let you know once we know. And thank you to everyone whether we hit it or not, you know, even if we don't, thank you to every single person out there who has got a copy of the book and supported us in this because literally there's no, there was no doing this without you. Okay. All right, guys, I'll see you later. Have a great day and I'll text you or I'll, I'll jump on here and let you know as soon as I know about the result. Okay, much love and I'll see you all on Saturday as well. All right, bye.