Matthew Hussey argues that constantly trying to appear special in dating backfires. Men who lead with expensive cars, clothes, and five-star dates attract people interested in resources, not genuine connection. Accepting your ordinary self works better.
We must have the courage to be normal. We are living in a world where everyone, it seems, is trying to stand out and be special in their own special way. And as Adler puts it, why is it necessary for us to be special? Probably because one cannot accept one's normal self. And of course, it's so natural to try and find ways to be special in dating, especially in what feels like an ultra competitive dating market. I coach a lot of guys, guys who will tell me, Matt, I keep attracting people who only want me for my money. And I know deep down that that's often because they are trying to be special by leading with the fact that they have money. Whether it's by what they wear, what they drive, what they talk about on a date, or the fact that in a first date scenario they have taken someone to a five star restaurant. When we lead with that, we're going to attract people who, who want us for that. So we have to be wary of the ways that we try to achieve specialness because they can actually be hurting us.
